How Much Do You Pay Your Thai Fiance's Mom?

[jmapodaca]

My Fiance is asking me how much I'm going to pay her mom pursuant to the dowry system they have in Thailand. Okay, I need help!!!! What is a reasonable amount to pay?

[bdenner]

Was she a virgin, I bet not. Answer:- zero, nill, nothing. But then again you can ask your TGF's "brother" for advice!

[zorro1]

Was she a virgin, I bet not. Answer:- zero, nill, nothing. But then again you can ask your TGF's "brother" for advice!

Your evil

[jmapodaca]

Your bet would be correct. But she is expecting me to pay her mother something. I had heard that tradition says you give the mom 5 ounces of gold. I understand now that they may be wrong.

She loves her mom, I understand that, but large sums of money - not to mention the periodic remittances - may serve to be a problem. There must be a guideline, right?

[a2396]

The "REAL MEN" on the forum claim they don't pay their wife/GF family or the girl nothin'. Your self-respect and hers - out the window. It seems although, that they buy houses and vehicles, gold and other what not's in the sole name of their "true love", in lieu of cash monthly payments. Take her & Mama house shopping. One or two million ought to be good for starters.

[onzestan]

Your bet would be correct. But she is expecting me to pay her mother something. I had heard that tradition says you give the mom 5 ounces of gold. I understand now that they may be wrong.

She loves her mom, I understand that, but large sums of money - not to mention the periodic remittances - may serve to be a problem. There must be a guideline, right?

Mutual agreement.

cheers

onzestan

[jmapodaca]

The "REAL MEN" on the forum claim they don't pay their wife/GF family or the girl nothin'. Your self-respect and hers - out the window. It seems although, that they buy houses and vehicles, gold and other what not's in the sole name of their "true love", in lieu of cash monthly payments. Take her & Mama house shopping. One or two million ought to be good for starters.

I don't mind giving her mom money. I already send her US$500 a month to help out. Quite frankly, I cannot afford to pay her mom 2M, or anywhere near that amount.

[koheesti]

Tell her mother that in your country the dowry is paid by the woman's family to the man and ask how many cows, chickens and land they intend to give you to take their daughter off their hands.

[Fun2Fun]

Somewhere between 50.000 to 200.000 Bath

[jmapodaca]

Tell her mother that in your country the dowry is paid by the woman's family to the man and ask how many cows, chickens and land they intend to give you to take their daughter off their hands.

I did just that last January. Even her Grandmother was taking my side - jokingly of course. Now my Fiance just calls me a "bad man". But it was funny.

[koheesti]

On a more serious note, you presumably are giving her daughter a nice home. Without you she will go work in a bar (although she's probably a university educated professional). "Saving" her daughter from the bar life should be "dowry" enough.

[jmapodaca]

Somewhere between 50.000 to 200.000 Bath

That seems more reasonable.

[mrtoad]

Somewhere between 50.000 to 200.000 Bath

Thats a bit on the low side for monthly payments.

Edited April 28, 2008 by mrtoad

[koheesti]

Tell her mother that in your country the dowry is paid by the woman's family to the man and ask how many cows, chickens and land they intend to give you to take their daughter off their hands.

I did just that last January. Even her Grandmother was taking my side - jokingly of course. Now my Fiance just calls me a "bad man". But it was funny.

Also tell her that in your country the bride's family pays for the wedding and that anything under $50,000 would be an insult. Of course, you're still responsible for buying the $5,000 rock for her finger.

[koheesti]

OK, one more. Is this dowry a one time deal, meaning that her family forfiets the rights to ask you for money in the future? It could be worth it if the 200k up front is all you'll have to give them versus 5k/month for the rest of their lives.

[sriracha john]

My Fiance is asking me how much I'm going to pay her mom pursuant to the dowry system they have in Thailand. Okay, I need help!!!! What is a reasonable amount to pay?

[jmapodaca]

On a more serious note, you presumably are giving her daughter a nice home. Without you she will go work in a bar (although she's probably a university educated professional). "Saving" her daughter from the bar life should be "dowry" enough.

You are thinking as I do.

I will be giving her a nice home and very nice life style, she can go to school if she wants (although she isn't interested in doing that now) and which I encourage her do, and yes, she will never have to work in the bars. Her parents and family in general know this as well. She wants to appear the good daughter and get Mama as much as she can.

I just took two years off from my career to get an MBA. Although, things should be more than fine once I start working, I cannot afford to fork over large dollars now.

[jmapodaca]

OK, one more. Is this dowry a one time deal, meaning that her family forfiets the rights to ask you for money in the future? It could be worth it if the 200k up front is all you'll have to give them versus 5k/month for the rest of their lives.

There has been talk about a one time payments, although I don't believe that it will end there.

[mikethevigoman]

The "REAL MEN" on the forum claim they don't pay their wife/GF family or the girl nothin'. Your self-respect and hers - out the window. It seems although, that they buy houses and vehicles, gold and other what not's in the sole name of their "true love", in lieu of cash monthly payments. Take her & Mama house shopping. One or two million ought to be good for starters.

Well my wife is one of 10 children, of the married sisters,none were /are bgs,. here are her comments when asked this question, normally its a volunteered amount, not a demand or or a request, one of the husbands gave flowers as he had no money, he told mother in law he was in love with her sister and would look after her, they are still 20 years on happily married,other dowrys ranged from 6.500 baht to 150.000..by the way 2 of the husbands are farang, neither of us has been asked for a penny since the marriage, so whether its "REAL MEN " or not i dont know, but i think its more like is it a "REAL " woman,or a gold digging bg,..in most cases where people i know have married a bg they do pay monthly as in most cases they have had their girlfriend quit work, then of course the wages have stopped and the men take over as breadwinner,.unfortunatly greed also takes over and the family in most of these cases get out the farang milking machine,.some can see this coming,others jump right in,.if it smells wrong, it will be,.

[LinkPopularity]

Somewhere between 50.000 to 200.000 Bath

this is indeed the common amount

[YoungFarang13]

you send her 500 USD a month? how much was she living on a month before you came along? its your money so do with it what you want, but something does not add up here.

[jmapodaca]

The "REAL MEN" on the forum claim they don't pay their wife/GF family or the girl nothin'. Your self-respect and hers - out the window. It seems although, that they buy houses and vehicles, gold and other what not's in the sole name of their "true love", in lieu of cash monthly payments. Take her & Mama house shopping. One or two million ought to be good for starters.

Well my wife is one of 10 children, of the married sisters,none were /are bgs,. here are her comments when asked this question, normally its a volunteered amount, not a demand or or a request, one of the husbands gave flowers as he had no money, he told mother in law he was in love with her sister and would look after her, they are still 20 years on happily married,other dowrys ranged from 6.500 baht to 150.000..by the way 2 of the husbands are farang, neither of us has been asked for a penny since the marriage, so whether its "REAL MEN " or not i dont know, but i think its more like is it a "REAL " woman,or a gold digging bg,..in most cases where people i know have married a bg they do pay monthly as in most cases they have had their girlfriend quit work, then of course the wages have stopped and the men take over as breadwinner,.unfortunatly greed also takes over and the family in most of these cases get out the farang milking machine,.some can see this coming,others jump right in,.if it smells wrong, it will be,.

Thank you for the comments. That is very helpful.

I don't believe this smells bad. Currently, her neighbors daughter and other young ladies in her villiage have married Farang's and one Farang paid 2M Baht. Since then, she has asked me how much I am going to give her mama. I don't know exactly how to answer...yet.

[YoungFarang13]

most of my farang friends with thai wives send their wive's mothers around 4-6K baht a month. that is more then enough, imho.

[YoungFarang13]

The "REAL MEN" on the forum claim they don't pay their wife/GF family or the girl nothin'. Your self-respect and hers - out the window. It seems although, that they buy houses and vehicles, gold and other what not's in the sole name of their "true love", in lieu of cash monthly payments. Take her & Mama house shopping. One or two million ought to be good for starters.

Well my wife is one of 10 children, of the married sisters,none were /are bgs,. here are her comments when asked this question, normally its a volunteered amount, not a demand or or a request, one of the husbands gave flowers as he had no money, he told mother in law he was in love with her sister and would look after her, they are still 20 years on happily married,other dowrys ranged from 6.500 baht to 150.000..by the way 2 of the husbands are farang, neither of us has been asked for a penny since the marriage, so whether its "REAL MEN " or not i dont know, but i think its more like is it a "REAL " woman,or a gold digging bg,..in most cases where people i know have married a bg they do pay monthly as in most cases they have had their girlfriend quit work, then of course the wages have stopped and the men take over as breadwinner,.unfortunatly greed also takes over and the family in most of these cases get out the farang milking machine,.some can see this coming,others jump right in,.if it smells wrong, it will be,.

Thank you for the comments. That is very helpful.

I don't believe this smells bad. Currently, her neighbors daughter and other young ladies in her villiage have married Farang's and one Farang paid 2M Baht. Since then, she has asked me how much I am going to give her mama. I don't know exactly how to answer...yet.

just so you know, sin sot is supposed to be given back to you after the ceremony. but maybe the cultural rules differ for farang spouses. It sounds like that is the case here. Better come up with the 2m before she meets another bloke who can.

[LinkPopularity]

forget yourself and the money for an instance and face reality, the mother has worked very hard all her life to raise the daughter, the daughter loves her mm and the mom has no pension, so, you pay 100.000 baht dowry or so to make your girlfriend's dream come true; finally a lucky break for her mom, so she can buy stuff, then there's the no-pension, so you send 2.000-5.000 Baht every month

that's the normal situation, strictly speaking it's just very human in this reality

of course; there are also a bunch of b!tches out there, so the money shouldn't be the question; the question is if your GF is sincere or not ... how long are you together with her?

[mikethevigoman]

My Fiance is asking me how much I'm going to pay her mom pursuant to the dowry system they have in Thailand. Okay, I need help!!!! What is a reasonable amount to pay?

Here is my advice to you my friend, under no circumstances tell these people( your fiance included ) how much you have, in fact tell them you are from a poor but good family,.for the dowry tell her you can probably raise 60.000 baht, however you will make sure she needs for nothing whilst married to you,.a good family would agree to this 100 per cent IF you were Thai, so if this isnt met with agreement there will be reasons which im sure i dont have to explain, genuine parents, albeit Thai. German/English wherever the world over want their daughters happy and to marry because they are in love, thats first and foremost isnt it ? ,money comes in to it of course, no one wants their daughter to marry a loser,but please remember some of these girls ( bgs ) will marry for money only, they are the best actresses in the world,.by playing down your financial wellbeing you will see how they react, unfortunatly you have already been sending her ( in my opinion ) too much a month, . i wish you luck,and hope you dont need it,.

[jmapodaca]

you send her 500 USD a month? how much was she living on a month before you came along? its your money so do with it what you want, but something does not add up here.

Yes, $500 a month, which is 15,000 Baht. What are your thought, specifically.

[YoungFarang13]

you send her 500 USD a month? how much was she living on a month before you came along? its your money so do with it what you want, but something does not add up here.

Yes, $500 a month, which is 15,000 Baht. What are your thought, specifically.

if her mom is living in a village somewhere in isaan, she was probably living on 2-3k a month. now you are sending her 15K baht which is wayyy more then the average Thai makes. so i ask, what was her monthly salary/stipend before you came along and why did you triple/quadrouple it? again, it is your money and you can spend it however you want. if it makes you happy to give more, give more, but i am just pointing out that it seems likely that you overpaying by a wide margin.

once you start giving sin sots and large amounts of money that you dont expect to receive back, it feels like itll open the flood gates to me.

i have many thai friends whose parents bug them constantly about money, they play down their income and they also set budgets and stick to them. you dont have to look any furthor from Thaivisa to see guys being ate alive by their wife and her relatives. good luck.

Edited April 28, 2008 by YoungFarang13

[jmapodaca]

The "REAL MEN" on the forum claim they don't pay their wife/GF family or the girl nothin'. Your self-respect and hers - out the window. It seems although, that they buy houses and vehicles, gold and other what not's in the sole name of their "true love", in lieu of cash monthly payments. Take her & Mama house shopping. One or two million ought to be good for starters.

Well my wife is one of 10 children, of the married sisters,none were /are bgs,. here are her comments when asked this question, normally its a volunteered amount, not a demand or or a request, one of the husbands gave flowers as he had no money, he told mother in law he was in love with her sister and would look after her, they are still 20 years on happily married,other dowrys ranged from 6.500 baht to 150.000..by the way 2 of the husbands are farang, neither of us has been asked for a penny since the marriage, so whether its "REAL MEN " or not i dont know, but i think its more like is it a "REAL " woman,or a gold digging bg,..in most cases where people i know have married a bg they do pay monthly as in most cases they have had their girlfriend quit work, then of course the wages have stopped and the men take over as breadwinner,.unfortunatly greed also takes over and the family in most of these cases get out the farang milking machine,.some can see this coming,others jump right in,.if it smells wrong, it will be,.

Thank you for the comments. That is very helpful.

I don't believe this smells bad. Currently, her neighbors daughter and other young ladies in her villiage have married Farang's and one Farang paid 2M Baht. Since then, she has asked me how much I am going to give her mama. I don't know exactly how to answer...yet.

just so you know, sin sot is supposed to be given back to you after the ceremony. but maybe the cultural rules differ for farang spouses. It sounds like that is the case here. Better come up with the 2m before she meets another bloke who can.

What is sin sot?

[mikethevigoman]

you send her 500 USD a month? how much was she living on a month before you came along? its your money so do with it what you want, but something does not add up here.

Yes, $500 a month, which is 15,000 Baht. What are your thought, specifically.

if her mom is living in a village somewhere in isaan, she was probably living on 2-3k a month. now you are sending her 15K baht which is wayyy more then the average Thai makes. so i ask, what was her monthly salary/stipend before you came along and why did you triple/quadrouple it? again, it is your money and you can spend it however you want. if it makes you happy to give more, give more, but i am just pointing out that it seems likely that you overpaying by a wide margin.

One of the show girls in living dolls told me she earns 50-60 k every month, .you wouldnt get that one walking the buffalo for $500 a month ! ( im only joking )