How To Attract The Right Type Of Tourist / Resident

[geriatrickid]

I work on seismic survey ships. They look for the oil before they decide where to put a drilling rig.

Not a lot to do because we have been dodging cyclone Nargis.

hahah a geology wonk. A treasure trove of jokes to be made.

[HDRIDER]

Hi

He he very good, and now Sir Buur get down there and service your compressor, all of them so you can start shooting again

[taxexile]

but imagine what I look like in a t-back on the beach in Goa.

i'm sure some of us have been trying.

[billd766]

Sir Burr (Bellend head)

Get your head out of your sand track and wake up!!

Phuket is what it is so is Pattaya and Bangkok.

Which snobby part of the UK did you escape from?

Wake up? I think I am more in the know than most when it comes to Phuket. I have been here many, many years now.

Where I come from in the UK really is irrelevent, but, if you must know I come from a beautiful village in Kent called Bucklers Hard. Maybe you have seen postcards of it? It's very famous.

I'm still at a loss to know what a bellend is.

I know of a Bucklers Hard in the New Forest in Hampshire not far from Lymington where a lot of Henry VIII and Elizabeth I wooden warships were built but that may not be the same place.

[chickencurry]

No, I am an American. Remember us?

Ahhhhhh......that explains everything dearie.

OK, folks, let's wrap this up (for poor amanda's sake lest she gets to look more foolish than she does already)

I don't have a hi-so Chinese wife.

I have never had a gardener or, a maid.

I couldn't give a rat's arse who comes to Phuket, or, not.

I'm an oilfield worker presently offshore in the Bay of Bengal.

The motivation for my little prank was to try and liven up my local sub-forum which was one step away from dying of boredom. If you look at the number of views, I think it worked. Hopefully those attracted to the two spoof threads, also looked at the others.

I hope I have given entertainment to some, and to those that were outraged, angered, shocked, I hope you won't hold it against me.

My sides hurt so much during this thread that I've decided to come clean (though most people had rumbled me, American females excepted)

Well, in the words of the immortal Douglas Adams "So long and thanks for all the fish".

It really has been a fisherman's dream.

Great stuff, very funny - definitely livened up a monsoony Sunday afternoon in Phuket.

[Felt 35]

I did start a thread about this, but it got closed (fairly) I might add, because I called a Tax Clearance Certificate a Departure Tax. My mistake. Apparently, this Certificate was scrapped in the early 1990s, but, it did discourage long stayers with very little means.

Phuket has changed drastically over the years and has now become a family destination rather than just another one of Asia's flesh-pots. The TAT itself has declared that they want quality tourists, yet, over the last ten years I have noticed that the quality of residents and tourists alike has definitely gone the other way.

Too many balloon chasers, yobos and hooligans who are attracted here for two reasons. 1. It's relatively cheap 2. I'll leave it to your imagination.

From a gentle downhill slide, things have been getting worse since the "package tourists" have arrived on their charter flights.

Maybe the AOT could add punitive landing taxes to discourage these operators?

Visa prices could be increased and penalties for overstayers made more drastic?

Certainly, showing an onward ticket would help. I'm talking about the kind of riff-raff that would do visa runs with the 30 nday stamp for years. Of course, this has now been stopped and even getting multiple tourist visas is more difficult. This is a good start, but, does anyone have any ideas how this could be taken further, so that the right kind of people are attracted to stay on our island home?

I agree in your observation.

However the landing fees in Thailand and Phuket are some of the highest in the region for both charter and scheduled flights and will only make your scheduled flight more expensive.

BTW, charter is no problem. The passengers and how they act is the problem.

Visa prices should be regulated after the general price level in Thailand. But its not important, the point is who shall get visa. Everyone should need to have visa. No free 30-day stay for people from any country. No one should get a Non Immigrant visa without a reason to be here. The reason should be clear at each applicant Thai Embassy and the application for a visa should be done in the home country to the person who applies.

Onward ticket will be part of the rules above. The 30-day thing and multiple visas are made up of a corrupt Immigration so go after them.

To go further with this for getting decent structured people to come here and stay as residents or tourists would be a completely change of the structure Phuket is based on, i.e. sex, bar life and vulgar entertainment complexes which is know to attract creatures with similar interests. That will never happen because it’s not the foreign residents or the tourists that started it all. Stop.

[Redted]

I did start a thread about this, but it got closed (fairly) I might add, because I called a Tax Clearance Certificate a Departure Tax. My mistake. Apparently, this Certificate was scrapped in the early 1990s, but, it did discourage long stayers with very little means.

Phuket has changed drastically over the years and has now become a family destination rather than just another one of Asia's flesh-pots. The TAT itself has declared that they want quality tourists, yet, over the last ten years I have noticed that the quality of residents and tourists alike has definitely gone the other way.

Too many balloon chasers, yobos and hooligans who are attracted here for two reasons. 1. It's relatively cheap 2. I'll leave it to your imagination.

From a gentle downhill slide, things have been getting worse since the "package tourists" have arrived on their charter flights.

Maybe the AOT could add punitive landing taxes to discourage these operators?

Visa prices could be increased and penalties for overstayers made more drastic?

Certainly, showing an onward ticket would help. I'm talking about the kind of riff-raff that would do visa runs with the 30 nday stamp for years. Of course, this has now been stopped and even getting multiple tourist visas is more difficult. This is a good start, but, does anyone have any ideas how this could be taken further, so that the right kind of people are attracted to stay on our island home?

I agree in your observation.

However the landing fees in Thailand and Phuket are some of the highest in the region for both charter and scheduled flights and will only make your scheduled flight more expensive.

BTW, charter is no problem. The passengers and how they act is the problem.

Visa prices should be regulated after the general price level in Thailand. But its not important, the point is who shall get visa. Everyone should need to have visa. No free 30-day stay for people from any country. No one should get a Non Immigrant visa without a reason to be here. The reason should be clear at each applicant Thai Embassy and the application for a visa should be done in the home country to the person who applies.

Onward ticket will be part of the rules above. The 30-day thing and multiple visas are made up of a corrupt Immigration so go after them.

To go further with this for getting decent structured people to come here and stay as residents or tourists would be a completely change of the structure Phuket is based on, i.e. sex, bar life and vulgar entertainment complexes which is know to attract creatures with similar interests. That will never happen because it's not the foreign residents or the tourists that started it all. Stop.

So whats your point?

Ted.

[flamingtodd]

I agree in your observation.

However the landing fees in Thailand and Phuket are some of the highest in the region for both charter and scheduled flights and will only make your scheduled flight more expensive.

BTW, charter is no problem. The passengers and how they act is the problem.

Visa prices should be regulated after the general price level in Thailand. But its not important, the point is who shall get visa. Everyone should need to have visa. No free 30-day stay for people from any country. No one should get a Non Immigrant visa without a reason to be here. The reason should be clear at each applicant Thai Embassy and the application for a visa should be done in the home country to the person who applies.

Onward ticket will be part of the rules above. The 30-day thing and multiple visas are made up of a corrupt Immigration so go after them.

To go further with this for getting decent structured people to come here and stay as residents or tourists would be a completely change of the structure Phuket is based on, i.e. sex, bar life and vulgar entertainment complexes which is know to attract creatures with similar interests. That will never happen because it's not the foreign residents or the tourists that started it all. Stop.

You are living in a dream world, Felt. You actually live on an Island that caters to TOURISTS (Hotels, Restaurants, etc.... The fact that you have moved here doesn't make you Captian Red Rover. (where you get to decide who comes over.) The views expressed by you are only that. Views. Thailand makes itself available for everyone to come and enjoy, regardless of their agenda. Just because you moved here gives you no right to make it harder for others to come and enjoy.

The simple fact that you would even think that anyone would listen to your complaints is downright mad. Thailand as a whole thrives on tourism, like many other countries around the world. Just because you are not happy with the way it is now, thinking, or suggesting it get tougher will never happen.

Rather than complaining here, why don't you go and complain at the Immigration Line at the airport, or your local Provincial Office, or Your local Thai business man, and tell HIM you are going to lower his business, and cut his money in half. See how far that gets you. You might get cut in half.

As for me? I love the 30 day free visa. I love to hop on my hogg and make a run for the border. I love the drive from Phuket to Ranong, and I especially love the boat ride. It gives me time to think! (and the numbness in my butt goes away.)

As for a reason to be here? None. Not really. I was injured in a fire, got a nice settlement, and now I have no reason to be anywhere. (Now I am in Goa, man it has gone downhill fast.) So the 30 day visa works out for me, because I am not always there, but when I am, 30 day visas work out great, because sometimes, just sometimes, I only stay for 2 or 3 weeks.

As far as Onward Tickets, I have never had one. I always buy one way.

My sole reason for being here is to Scuba Dive, Ride my Bike, and play with my baby.

You want to get rid of the eye sores. Start with the Tailor Shops! Only half of those guys even have work permits.

But I can give you a million things to change.

[smartecosse]

did u read the whole thread or just hit reply and go for it?

[Guest Bellini]

I don’t know why but I read the whole thread just now and see that Sir Burr has owned up to the whole thing being a joke. Nevertheless, if you think about it, isn’t the tourism ministry or whatever it is called also desperately trying to attract a “higher class” of tourists to Thailand in general, not just Phuket.

It is almost a pity that Sir Burr admitted the frivolity of his topic because I have arrived at the perfect solution for his satirical problem: Sir Burr, either alone or together with like-minded persons, could buy up the whole of Phuket and would then be able to exercise control about who gains access to it. Wouldn’t that be something?

Edited May 4, 2008 by Bellini

[Redted]

I don't know why but I read the whole thread just now and see that Sir Burr has owned up to the whole thing being a joke. Nevertheless, if you think about it, isn't the tourism ministry or whatever it is called also desperately trying to attract a "higher class" of tourists to Thailand in general, not just Phuket.

It is almost a pity that Sir Burr admitted the frivolity of his topic because I have arrived at the perfect solution for his satirical problem: Sir Burr, either alone or together with like-minded persons, could buy up the whole of Phuket and would then be able to exercise control about who gains access to it. Wouldn't that be something?

There is one born everyday.

Foreigners are exempt from owning land in Thailand.

Ted.

Edited May 4, 2008 by Redted

[GraemeF]

It was so obvious the posting was designed to get everybody wound up, I can't believe so many of you bit !

[stiggy]

Oh dear

Can you not all see......Sir Burr is as Posh as a plastic garden chair set .

Obviously run out of Porn on the research vessel.

I'm assuming you are at least a Deck supervisor ,as your obvious wind up mentality would have you swimming by now on most vessels.

Have fun and stay safe ride those waves fella.

[LiveSteam]

Great comeback, BTW. Nevermind the questions I asked...

Little village in Kent called Buckler's Hard? Isn't Buckler's Hard in Hampshire? Buckler's Hard is very famous for being the spot where Nelson built his fleet.

If you are going to lie about stuff, google your lies first, get them in order, and then LIE.

That is the problem with Antiques. Old, Expensive, and not worth <deleted>!!!!

No, I am an American. Remember us?

Tell Lord Nelson I said "How's the fleet?"

There is, however, a village in Hampshire called Fleet. What a coincidence? Maybe you should Re-Lie, and say yourfrom there. Maybe even mention that you helped Nelson build his boats.

Kisses!!!

~a~

Wow!!! Amanda76 astonishing, I love it!

LiveSteam

[LiveSteam]

I work on seismic survey ships. They look for the oil before they decide where to put a drilling rig.

Not a lot to do because we have been dodging cyclone Nargis.

Does this make you a servent

LiveSteam

[Sir Burr]

I work on seismic survey ships. They look for the oil before they decide where to put a drilling rig.

Not a lot to do because we have been dodging cyclone Nargis.

Does this make you a servent

LiveSteam

No. Worse. A whore.

[ade100]

I don't know why but I read the whole thread just now and see that Sir Burr has owned up to the whole thing being a joke. Nevertheless, if you think about it, isn't the tourism ministry or whatever it is called also desperately trying to attract a "higher class" of tourists to Thailand in general, not just Phuket.

It is almost a pity that Sir Burr admitted the frivolity of his topic because I have arrived at the perfect solution for his satirical problem: Sir Burr, either alone or together with like-minded persons, could buy up the whole of Phuket and would then be able to exercise control about who gains access to it. Wouldn't that be something?

There is one born everyday.

Foreigners are exempt from owning land in Thailand.

Ted.

No problem. We just take control of the island, declare independence from Thailand and re-write Phuket land ownership laws. Very simple really.

[MellowYellow]

I thought OP was a joke, but, apparently, ..... he 's serious.

You have moved to a foreign country and now wish to dictate what other foreigners are "appropriate" to share the distinct honour of living on the same huge island with you in this foreign country?

You're not a snob?

Are you joking man?

At a minimum you come off as a wealthy, bigoted, douchebag.

Odds are, I have less money than you, don't have your little miss hi-so, and don't have any tatoos, but I'm probably better educated, more culturally aware and probably treat people in general (farang or Thai) with a lot more respect than you do.

I would consider the plague of self important, holier than thou, look down upon all those with less than them DBAG expats on par with or worse than the drunk revelers on Bangla. At least the drunk revelers don't cast aspersion and judge all those around them.

Keep throwing those stones form your glass house. Perhaps one of them will land in my yard and then you can experience a friendly wake up call that you are not as important as you think you are.

CLIFF NOTES:

What are some ways to get LESS people like you on the island?

Edited May 5, 2008 by MellowYellow

[ade100]

I thought OP was a joke, but, apparently, ..... he 's serious.

You have moved to a foreign country and now wish to dictate what other foreigners are "appropriate" to share the distinct honour of living on the same huge island with you in this foreign country?

You're not a snob?

Are you joking man?

At a minimum you come off as a wealthy, bigoted, douchebag.

Odds are, I have less money than you, don't have your little miss hi-so, and don't have any tatoos, but I'm probably better educated, more culturally aware and probably treat people in general (farang or Thai) with a lot more respect than you do.

I would consider the plague of self important, holier than thou, look down upon all those with less than them DBAG expats on par with or worse than the drunk revelers on Bangla. At least the drunk revelers don't cast aspersion and judge all those around them.

Keep throwing those stones form your glass house. Perhaps one of them will land in my yard and then you can experience a friendly wake up call that you are not as important as you think you are.

CLIFF NOTES:

What are some ways to get LESS people like you on the island?

I think you may have misunderstood old chap. It was pretty obviously a joke even in the previous post about exit tax. I refer you to what the OP said in post 58:

"OK, folks, let's wrap this up (for poor amanda's sake lest she gets to look more foolish than she does already)

I don't have a hi-so Chinese wife.

I have never had a gardener or, a maid.

I couldn't give a rat's arse who comes to Phuket, or, not."

[Sir Burr]

I'm so glad you don't have tattoos. As for better educated, I doubt that. I'm an old Etonian then went on to Harrow.

Obviously, you haven't been here long, otherwise you would have seen all the riff-raff congregating in that cess-pit called Patong.

My point is, if you don't have money to live a respectable life here, you really shouldn't live here.

As I've said many times. I'm not a snob. I hate snobs, maybe even more than the riff-raff and their dodgy wives when my good lady and I go shopping.

You wouldn't happen to know of a gardener that needs a job perchance? Having servant troubles at the moment, you see?

Edited May 5, 2008 by Sir Burr

[MellowYellow]

I thought OP was a joke, but, apparently, ..... he 's serious.

You have moved to a foreign country and now wish to dictate what other foreigners are "appropriate" to share the distinct honour of living on the same huge island with you in this foreign country?

You're not a snob?

Are you joking man?

At a minimum you come off as a wealthy, bigoted, douchebag.

Odds are, I have less money than you, don't have your little miss hi-so, and don't have any tatoos, but I'm probably better educated, more culturally aware and probably treat people in general (farang or Thai) with a lot more respect than you do.

I would consider the plague of self important, holier than thou, look down upon all those with less than them DBAG expats on par with or worse than the drunk revelers on Bangla. At least the drunk revelers don't cast aspersion and judge all those around them.

Keep throwing those stones form your glass house. Perhaps one of them will land in my yard and then you can experience a friendly wake up call that you are not as important as you think you are.

CLIFF NOTES:

What are some ways to get LESS people like you on the island?

I think you may have misunderstood old chap. It was pretty obviously a joke even in the previous post about exit tax. I refer you to what the OP said in post 58:

"OK, folks, let's wrap this up (for poor amanda's sake lest she gets to look more foolish than she does already)

I don't have a hi-so Chinese wife.

I have never had a gardener or, a maid.

I couldn't give a rat's arse who comes to Phuket, or, not."

Hmmmmmmmm. OOOOOOPS! NVM then

OK, Im off to get a tattoo and do some drunken reveling.

[Sir Burr]

Oh rats ade100! I wanted to play with him some more.........

[MellowYellow]

Oh rats ade100! I wanted to play with him some more.........

It's 1115PM on monday night in low season...should'nt you be preparing (as I am) for a glorious nighttime excursion to the cesspit?

For like, research purposes, you see?

[Sir Burr]

I wish!

I'm in the middle of the Bay of Bengal at the moment.

[MellowYellow]

I wish!

I'm in the middle of the Bay of Bengal at the moment.

dam_n petrochemical riff raff!

Anywayz, I'll do the Eton Cheer (do they have one?) in Tiger Disco for you tonight.

[glassdude007]

Hi

He he very good, and now Sir Buur get down there and service your compressor, all of them so you can start shooting again

all clear here in the gun shack we've got plenty of air up here...

stay safe sir where ever you are......

[HDRIDER]

HI

Look like there is a few of these offshore guys Sir Buur warned us about

[billythehat]

I'm so glad you don't have tattoos. As for better educated, I doubt that. I'm an old Etonian then went on to Harrow.

Obviously, you haven't been here long, otherwise you would have seen all the riff-raff congregating in that cess-pit called Patong.

My point is, if you don't have money to live a respectable life here, you really shouldn't live here.

As I've said many times. I'm not a snob. I hate snobs, maybe even more than the riff-raff and their dodgy wives when my good lady and I go shopping.

You wouldn't happen to know of a gardener that needs a job perchance? Having servant troubles at the moment, you see?

Not actually at the moment, me old Bellend, but I hear there are plenty of ‘up-hill gardeners’ in Soi Bangla who are looking for a little extra work in the low season. I trust this of some assistance to you.[/size][/font]

[dogblower]

Nice one Sir Burr. A mate tipped me off to this thread and I just had to read it (on shift and supposed to be watching the instruments - don't let the client rep know).

[cobra]

his vision of cravat wearing ex ww2 fighter pilots and pinstriped old etonians roaring along the country lanes in lagondas and blower bentleys as they rush back to their million dollar mansions to be welcomed by jeeves in the vestibule and mrs. miggins in the pantry is the work of a seriously deranged mind.

The Burr is fast becoming the wind-up king, and that's not all bad if it solicits responses from masters of the pen, wordsmiths and the barbs of TV,

With just a few lines Taxexile transports us into another time and era, lush in description, leaving us wanting more, ...