Marry Me , Pls Prepare A Car / A House !

[Seizhin]

I mistaken your initial question as:

"Would you marry a girl who love you when you have nothing or a girl who'll marry you (only) when you have a car/house?"

Which obviously, I'd answer for the first girl who loves nothing but me rather than the girl who'll marry my car and house.

Though, I dont think I would want to get married yet if I'm incapable to support myself to achieve my goals.

That sounds like another way to 'suicide' to get married when you're incapable of supporting your spouse.

Just because you cannot afford to buy a house before you get married does not mean anything. After you are married, you could rent an apartment, and save. You could save much quicker to buy a house or car if you had two people making money instead of just one.

My opinion differs.

You should have a house before you get married.

If both of you can work to buy a house or a car, why dont you do it before you get married?

You wouldnt waste more money to rent out an apartment to work out for a house, dont you?

[Heng]

This is a very hot topic in China..

this is true happened in the city where i live now...a car..or a house...become to the first condition the girl wants to date with you....so the man become very stressful..and strong competition are around of them...

What about in Thailand ?

The girl should have roughly the equivalent as well. The families should also be from approximately the same socio-economic status. It tends to work out much much better when you don't have to argue about mundane things like bills and money.

[jstumbo]

I mistaken your initial question as:

"Would you marry a girl who love you when you have nothing or a girl who'll marry you (only) when you have a car/house?"

Which obviously, I'd answer for the first girl who loves nothing but me rather than the girl who'll marry my car and house.

Though, I dont think I would want to get married yet if I'm incapable to support myself to achieve my goals.

That sounds like another way to 'suicide' to get married when you're incapable of supporting your spouse.

Just because you cannot afford to buy a house before you get married does not mean anything. After you are married, you could rent an apartment, and save. You could save much quicker to buy a house or car if you had two people making money instead of just one.

My opinion differs.

You should have a house before you get married.

If both of you can work to buy a house or a car, why dont you do it before you get married?

You wouldnt waste more money to rent out an apartment to work out for a house, dont you?

So do both people buy houses before getting married? Do you buy two cars before geting married?

Many people in China like to pay cash for a house. That would not work with housing prices going up as quickly as they do. When my wife and I first moved to Hangzhou, we could have bought a 300+m2 freestanding house in the country near Hangzhou for about $120,000 USD, about the same for a 90m3 apartment in town. We decided against it. Two years later, those same homes were selling for $300,000. I make a good salary, but even I could not save an additional $90,000 USD each year, just to keep up with the increase in price. If we got married and bought the house at $120,000 with our combined income, when we first thought of it, it would be a lot easier to afford than waiting 2 years saving money for me to buy it before we got married, and then paying having to $300,000 USD.

If houses go up in price by 50% each year, how could a person save enough money to buy a house? Unless a person has a very, very good job, they would never be able to save enough to buy a house.

I guess, since most young people either live with their parents or in a dormatory at their work, they do not need to rent. But most people in the US are not living with their parents. So they are already paying rent, both the man and woman, and they are paying rent for one place. Even if they could not afford to buy a house right away after getting married, at least they could reduce the rent from two places, to one place.

[AlexLah]

I think for the guys it will be better to avoid the snobs and just look for a very down to earth girl.

So many banners in China claiming Knowledge is Power, they are so brainwashed.

It is all about who you are, not what you are.

I not go with the grey mass, following what the majority is looking for, influenced by MSM.

Open your mind!

ALex

[ALEX82]

It's just a dream for the top!

To tell you the truth,more and more chinese girls in big cities urgently seeking their "gold husbund" when they just graduate from the college.And such "Gold Husbund" are mostly focus from 30~35,that's the truth.More interesting,though some girls think or their parents think they should "marry" to a person with at least a house and a car,but actually many boys are also expecting the same question:Why should I?

Because of the very high housing price in most of the large city(In Shanghai downtown,it mostly reach around USD3000-4000,and a general officer working in Shanghai earn only RMB4000-8000 per month,equal to USD10000-USD20000 per year.)So most of the boy's family feel a big rock on their heart,but mother's son don't think so.Because they always have their own modern life,wedding only means duty,less personal space and extra work for them.So more and more Chinese boys select marrying late,especially for those born after 1980'. Meanwhile,more and more Chinese girls find they almost can't locate a target with all their imaginable car and house.They are very missing now on who to marry.

So you can imagine the level of their or their parent's dream will be in on downing route in the next years to their 30' age.And 30' age is very different for girls and boys.For boys,they just go into their life's and work's goldern time.But for girls,they will find it's harder to keep their beauty and thin body.

In all,this is really a battle for boy and girl.Girl maybe girl can get some advantage at first but boy will finally win if he is patient enough!Another truth is ,there is really more boys in China than girls,but there are no more even a bit less boys in most of the modern large cities. Good Luck,Chinese girls!

[ALEX82]

In addition to my above talk,Shanghai housing price in downtown city is mostly around USD3000-USD4000 per Square meter.

[astral]

Whatever happened to "true love"?

All this thread is about is true greed.

[Heng]

You can most certainly have love and greed TOGETHER.

However, it's near impossible to live on love alone.

[TheDon]

Im greedy, I only dated rich girls. Money is good. Some people say they aint greedy etc. its BS, everyone is greedy.

[a2396]

In China there is a general shortage of women so the competition might be getting really hot.

In Thailand it's ok if the young family can buy a house and a car in credit but generally families help a lot with the initial set up.

"In Thailand families help a lot"? Is that so? Maybe Thai to Thai marriages. Farang to Thai, Farang usually pays everything:cash.

[TheDon]

In China there is a general shortage of women so the competition might be getting really hot.

In Thailand it's ok if the young family can buy a house and a car in credit but generally families help a lot with the initial set up.

"In Thailand families help a lot"? Is that so? Maybe Thai to Thai marriages. Farang to Thai, Farang usually pays everything:cash.

Not all Farangs, only the weak

[a2396]

This would seem to me an even more ignoramus idea than a foreigner buying a house in Thailand, that he cannot own. What are the ownership rules in China and what are the long term prospests of obtaing residency visas there? I have been to PRC a few times and found it to be very difficult to navigate, it you don't speak Chinese. I would call it quite a quagmire compared to Thailand, for long term expat living.

[Jeff1]

I had a house and a car but no love. Now I have love but no house or a car.

Edited May 14, 2008 by Jeff1

[a2396]

In China there is a general shortage of women so the competition might be getting really hot.

In Thailand it's ok if the young family can buy a house and a car in credit but generally families help a lot with the initial set up.

"In Thailand families help a lot"? Is that so? Maybe Thai to Thai marriages. Farang to Thai, Farang usually pays everything:cash.

Not all Farangs, only the weak

Thailand must be littered with spineless Farangs. Poor devils. Thankfully I have resisted all efforts iron resolve. Give me an "atta boy".

[LaoPo]

This is a very hot topic in China..

this is true happened in the city where i live now...a car..or a house...become to the first condition the girl wants to date with you....so the man become very stressful..and strong competition are around of them...

What about in Thailand ?

The girl should have roughly the equivalent as well. The families should also be from approximately the same socio-economic status. It tends to work out much much better when you don't have to argue about mundane things like bills and money.

That's why I don't understand a lot of farang....they do in Thailand what they would NEVER do in their own home country...

Amazing Thailand, isn't it ?

Maybe farang brains melt a bit in the mix of heat, humidity, sexy sights, booze and rice....?

LaoPo

[Heng]

This is a very hot topic in China..

this is true happened in the city where i live now...a car..or a house...become to the first condition the girl wants to date with you....so the man become very stressful..and strong competition are around of them...

What about in Thailand ?

The girl should have roughly the equivalent as well. The families should also be from approximately the same socio-economic status. It tends to work out much much better when you don't have to argue about mundane things like bills and money.

That's why I don't understand a lot of farang....they do in Thailand what they would NEVER do in their own home country...

Amazing Thailand, isn't it ?

Maybe farang brains melt a bit in the mix of heat, humidity, sexy sights, booze and rice....?

LaoPo

Well, I don't know, people do silly things back home as well. It's just that when you do them 10,000 miles from home AFTER burning your bridges, the results are usually more ehm... dramatic and colorful.

[toptuan]

Whatever happened to "true love"?

All this thread is about is true greed.

I've been around cultures like this for quite a number of years (first-generation Chinese and Vietnamese-Chinese immigrants in the West). Among them, I've seen an extraordinary number loveless marriages as they get on in years, where both partners just "endure" each other for the sake of the house, the car, the kids, and "saving face." A LOT MORE than I've seen in western marriages. Sad.

[Pepe']

This is a very hot topic in China..

this is true happened in the city where i live now...a car..or a house...become to the first condition the girl wants to date with you....so the man become very stressful..and strong competition are around of them...

What about in Thailand ?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$

A date? About 500 Bhat on the street. 1000 to 2000 in a bar.

After marriage expect to pay about half if your lucky before your honey moves on to the next victim...

[Pepe']

Im greedy, I only dated rich girls. Money is good. Some people say they aint greedy etc. its BS, everyone is greedy.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Well I guess I'm the only one that's not greedy. Never been never will...

[jfchandler]

Maybe farang brains melt a bit in the mix of heat, humidity, sexy sights, booze and rice....?

LaoPo

Yep...I think you're right about that....

It's the RICE that does it for me... every time!!!!

I start eating that khao suay.... and...I just can't help myself!!!! HELP!!!!!!

[t.s]

This is a very hot topic in China..

this is true happened in the city where i live now...a car..or a house...become to the first condition the girl wants to date with you....so the man become very stressful..and strong competition are around of them...

What about in Thailand ?

Silly me, here I thought you were proposing to me !

No car, no house. Will a leased apartment and a Harley-Davidson be acceptable substitutes ?

not likely. they may be percieved indicators that you are:

a) narcissistic

b)frivolous

c)in the throes of a mid life crisis

d)peter pan

e) all of the above

[t.s]

Whatever happened to "true love"?

All this thread is about is true greed.

I've been around cultures like this for quite a number of years (first-generation Chinese and Vietnamese-Chinese immigrants in the West). Among them, I've seen an extraordinary number loveless marriages as they get on in years, where both partners just "endure" each other for the sake of the house, the car, the kids, and "saving face." A LOT MORE than I've seen in western marriages. Sad.

respecting the unity of the family as a support network is not sad.

the op does not describe thailand. it describes china. it describes the daughters of an emerging chinese middle class and their expectations.

with the decline of the arranged marrige in many asian cultures, why wouldn't the later generations look to make the best deal for themselves? dont fool yourselves, it is not only the women.

just because many on TV choose not to be with their socio-economic equivalents is it necessarily wrong to want to yourself?

i had many traits i looked for in a partner: self-sufficiency, intelligence, ambition and a work ethic were just three of them.

chinesegirl (if she is indeed sincere) merely points out that women in many (all) cultures seek a stable future. as i see it, this desire is not gender exclusive.

to all of you who married thai girls, i suugest that marrying a woman who happens to be thai would have been a much better option.

[qwertz]

Whatever happened to "true love"?

All this thread is about is true greed.

I've been around cultures like this for quite a number of years (first-generation Chinese and Vietnamese-Chinese immigrants in the West). Among them, I've seen an extraordinary number loveless marriages as they get on in years, where both partners just "endure" each other for the sake of the house, the car, the kids, and "saving face." A LOT MORE than I've seen in western marriages. Sad.

respecting the unity of the family as a support network is not sad.

the op does not describe thailand. it describes china. it describes the daughters of an emerging chinese middle class and their expectations.

with the decline of the arranged marrige in many asian cultures, why wouldn't the later generations look to make the best deal for themselves? dont fool yourselves, it is not only the women.

just because many on TV choose not to be with their socio-economic equivalents is it necessarily wrong to want to yourself?

i had many traits i looked for in a partner: self-sufficiency, intelligence, ambition and a work ethic were just three of them.

chinesegirl (if she is indeed sincere) merely points out that women in many (all) cultures seek a stable future. as i see it, this desire is not gender exclusive.

to all of you who married thai girls, i suugest that marrying a woman who happens to be thai would have been a much better option.

Depressing.

Is it really all about what you own and not what you are?

[Pepe']

It seems like the majority go that way.

There are some exceptions.

I guess...

[Beardog]

No disrespect to you Chinese girl, but I would only do a marriage to a Chinese girl like one of my buddies did in Miami florida.

She had to buy the house & he bought the car. you can't bullshit a bullshitter. Chinese woman are very well to do than most countries. Sin Sod for a rich girl come on. If you were a 10 or a 10+ same deal. In the U.S. you are considered an absolute idiot to buy a house and a car for your wife. Thanks to the womens lip(lib movement )they changed the rules of the 1940's-1950's about the women being a house kitty & the man busting his ass for her.

Even here I did sprank for some rai & built a very modest house for my girl & myself-NO TRUCK do have a motorbike.

And Alisa busts her ass right beside me on the house which we built most of. Sin Sod is a gesture given to the girls folks as help to help them get out of poverty.

I lived in San Fransisco Cal. & I have never seen a poor Chinese girl to date.

With odds like you say why would anyone buy anything for the girl- I would think it should be the other way around so the girl doesn't have to die an old maid!

Even here I bought the land & the house cause it seemed like a better deal than renting forever. & the upside for my girl when I do croak in 30-40 years she is the sole owner(even though it is still in her name)

Love isn't about money. Unless you are a social climber. And it sounds like that is what your post revolves around.

What's the word in Chinese for Darkling( a monkeys ass in Thailand)

Seems like love, admiration, affection ,companionship & mutual respect for each other would be more desirable instead of gimme gimmie gimmie!

It wouldn't matter what country your from I would shun the bleak picture you are painting of your people- in a poor country I might expect that, but no wonder their is an over abundance of women in China. Does not sound like the women are to gracious in your country.

Please do not take as a personal attack on your character, but on the perception of a mans role in China(the way you are portraying it.)

[Heng]

i had many traits i looked for in a partner: self-sufficiency, intelligence, ambition and a work ethic were just three of them.

Exactly. I think the problem is that an awful lot of people try to substitute "tight package" (which is all relative... for some guys this apparently means she's squeezed out two or fewer kids) for all of the above traits and then find that they have to come to terms with the fruit of said decision in the long term. Sometimes/often coming to terms means:

1. Labelling everyone who took a more well rounded approach to spouse selection/courtship as "greedy"

2. Denial that people who are better off or are equals on a socio-economic level can and do fall in love too... it doesn't always have to entail visiting someone's shack and eating on the floor (which is perfectly fine as well)

3. Readily and frequently blaming the establishment -which is basically everyone besides people in their exact same situation- for keeping their spouse "down" instead of possibly considering that it might have been the result of a lack of self-sufficiency, intelligence, ambition and work ethic.

[realmadrid25]

pretty hard to find a thai girl (not mixed/raised in the west) who makes as much as i do. of course i could find one from a rich family, but thats not earned income and its not hers until her parents die. her dad will probably be so mad that some dude with a persumably large male organ is "doing her" that he will give all the loot to her brothers. actually, that is something i have never really understood. when guys with a salary marry these girls from wealthy families, does the girl's family kick in a monthly stipend? most of them end up as house wives anyways - no income.

[jayjayjayjay]

Basically prostitution.

You give me money, house and car and stable secure life. I'll have sex with you (to a carying degree!), have your babies, and maybe keep the house.

On reflection I guess that works for many and is the historical tale of marriage anyway. No wonder men shag around and visit prostitutes when this is the basis of their marriage (the sexual part). Depressing.

you know, this response hit me when i thought about it! i grew up in the country on a farm with three houses. I plainly remember (when I was about 20) my mum telling my dad she really wanted a house of her own. What she ment was the houses on the farm belonged to the farm which was jointly owned by my father and his two younger brothers. Somewhere in the back of my mothers mind was the fact that this house that was built for her when they married, had lived in the place for 25 years was still not her house. With the greatest respect to my mother, why is it a woman need a house that is hers? I think I would prefer ladies to answer ONLY.

[scotwumman]

As a farmer's wife your mother probably worked harder than the three brothers put together. Western women want some say in their own children's inheritance in this case, your inheritance.

There is also insecurity involved if the husband for example decided to up sticks, go to Thailand or even a neighbouring farm in farangland leaving the woman and (his and her) children struggling for a roof.

Just my take and because you asked for a female's reply. Won't use the word lady as expecting to be flamed.

[Gravelrash]

depends on how u look

I told every girl i met that i was dirt poor and they all wanted to be with me

may it be a bar girl, freelancer, rich girls, studious girls, virgins.. whatever .. also most of them are older than me because im only 21 so im def ffresh meat

if you're a regular 35yo+ you do need the whole package to get anything decent... most's only option is to take out a poor bargirl out of the sex scene and waste all his money on her family

Quite so rewket. When I was 21 it wasn't a problem either, I doubt if it is for any. Also these girls are looking at you for some fun, your dirt poor status will hardly attract the marrying kind, which at your age is probably the way you like it. So if your status doesn't improve later in life, regardless of how gorgeous you think you are, your prospects will be non existant.