I Have A Few General Questions

[on-on]

I've lived here for a couple of years and I've been a poster here for a couple of years and I haven't ever started any general topics. I very much enjoy life in Thailand and I enjoy my relationships with my Thai and farang friends, but still I have questions:

1) Is there any single item worse to give to a Thai male than a whistle?

2) Which strikes more terror into your heart when getting on a plane:

a) Seeing a family of Russian tourists seated next to you

Seeing a family of Indian tourists seated next to you

c) Seeing a family of Chinese tourists seated next to you

3) Are there any Bangkok Thai people who don't live near the Rama V bridge or drive a taxi who can find the Rama V bridge without calling more than three relatives and discussing what food should be picked up for them?

4) When is the proper time to get your BTS card out of your purse:

a) When you're standing inside the electronic turnstile blocking anyone else from using it

When you're standing just outside the electronic turnstile blocking anyone else from using it

5) Do the FoodByPhone drivers and the ChefsXP drivers fight when they run into each other at the same restaurant?

6) I know they're not playing chess, but do the guys down at the win motosike know what chess is or do they really think they're just very fancy checkers sets?

7) Which is worse:

a) Stepping on that loose sidewalk tile and having the day's worth of disgusting water shoot up your leg and into your shoe

Walking down the street and having something gush out of the blue pipe, onto the awning and all over your head and into your chaa yen

8) Who frowns more:

a) The English Tourists

The Middle Eastern Tourists

c) The Indian Tourists

d) The Russian Tourists

9) Who gets more sleep:

a) Security guards

The lady who runs the waffle stand at Thong Lor BTS station

10) Which is more inane:

a) Listening to tourists debate which international Hotel provides the most local experience

Listening to local expats debate which color cab provides the best service

That's all of them for now I think. They've been building up in my head.

[PeaceBlondie]

It is a good thing that you got those things out of your head before they burst. I would hate to see you on some soi on Sukumvit with an exploded head because you were thinking about those overhead wires or soi dogs.

I was sitting in the departure lounge at the Tuxtla Gutierrez airport when a reasonably rich native started talking to me. She asked, "Do you know BSA?" I replied, "Yes, the pastor of my Mennonite church has at least three BSA's." We could have discussed the Thai baht/Mexican peso exchange rate, but they called me to board my plane for Mexico City.

I used to wonder why the Mexicans......oh, never mind.

[dantilley]

10: b - The solid blue ones are the best, closely followed pink. Half blue / half red are the worst.

Edited May 23, 2008 by dantilley

[bkkblueeyes]

2 A; The Indian tourist. I would worry if they ate a big bowl of curry before they bordered the plain.

[Super Hans]

1) Is there any single item worse to give to a Thai male than a whistle?

Give a Thai man a whistle and a uniform to truly guarantee premature deafness. That is nothing, of course, to a brief stroll through a Vietnamese city, where vehicle honking will blow the deardrums in seconds. Actually, the single greatest source of noise known to man is contained within Vietnamese game-based cyber cafes. Truly frightening.

What is it with Asians and noise?

[on-on]

What is it with Asians and noise?

I used to wonder this too, then I realized that when I wince from a motorcycle so loud that I can't hear my iPod when it's turned up to full volume, some Thai people are looking at me and saying, "What is it with these farangs and noise?"

Anyhow, today while I was out I thought of another couple that have been on my mind:

11) What is a non-royal and non-religious occasion where Thai people consider it rude or off-limits to answer your phone or text message? Does such a thing exist?

12) What is a non-business occasion where Europeans consider it rude or off-limits to start smoking like a chimney? Does such a thing exist?

13) What exact hour of the day do soi dogs in Bangkok turn into extras from Resident Evil and decide to start harrassing foreigners? Is it 7:00pm? 10:00pm? Does it vary by neighborhood?

It is a good thing that you got those things out of your head before they burst. I would hate to see you on some soi on Sukumvit with an exploded head because you were thinking about those overhead wires or soi dogs.

You laugh, but usually when I end up with a flip flop full of disgusting water it's because I was absent-mindedly pondering something like this. Like the crazy forutne teller lady over at the corner of Silom and Convent - why does she arbitrarily go insane and start screaming at people? What causes it? Why did she do it to me one? Then I've got my foot in a shaky sidewalk tile and there's a day's worth of spit and urine and nasty soup water on my leg.

I was sitting in the departure lounge at the Tuxtla Gutierrez airport when a reasonably rich native started talking to me. She asked, "Do you know BSA?" I replied, "Yes, the pastor of my Mennonite church has at least three BSA's." We could have discussed the Thai baht/Mexican peso exchange rate, but they called me to board my plane for Mexico City.

I used to wonder why the Mexicans......oh, never mind.

Heh. Edited May 23, 2008 by on-on

[EmptyMind]

1) Is there any single item worse to give to a Thai male than a whistle?

Give a Thai man a whistle and a uniform to truly guarantee premature deafness. That is nothing, of course, to a brief stroll through a Vietnamese city, where vehicle honking will blow the deardrums in seconds. Actually, the single greatest source of noise known to man is contained within Vietnamese game-based cyber cafes. Truly frightening.

What is it with Asians and noise?

LOL I have to agree, This whistle thing is just insane, I can drive down a perfectly empty road thank you without some nutter blowing a whistle at me like crazy and waving his arms. I can also park my car thank you very much without you blowing your dam_n whistle at me.

If I ever hit another car in Thailand it will be because that Fker blowing his whistle at me put me off my driving or because I tried to run over the Fker blowing the whistle and missed !

And as far as waving those dam_n Star Wars wands at passing traffic, I thought that they were designed to warn drivers of a danger, Not for Mr.Whistle blower to scare the crap out of you at every corner.

Funny though isn't it, Why do Asians have to make so much noise about doing something that can be done so quietly :-)

[bino]

555555555

All excellent and valid questions on-on! And- if any farang has all of the answers, they have probably been here waaaaay too long!

I agree with dantilley about the taxis- solid ones are best, and the red/blue accompanied by the green/yellow are the worst. Strangely though, when I first came to Thailand 8 years ago, the split colored ones were the best, and the solid pink ones were to be completely avoided!

Also agree with Hans- a whistle and a uniform are definitely an earsplitting and annoying combination!

[a2396]

I think this belongs in the jokes forum?