What Faux Pas Did You Make As A Newbie Thai Culture Invader?

[wolf5370]

OK, I was participating in a discussion about the things expats do that we hate, when someone mentioned something that I was guilty of in the bad old days when I knew even less about Thai culture than I do now.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...p;#entry2007885

I mentioned that I thought it was an interesting subject - and although it may well have been done already (what hasn't) - new members will give new views. And we are told recycling is good.

So, what faux pas did you make when you first got here or first got into the Thai scene that make you cringe with embarrassment at the very thought now?

As I said the the thread linked here, I made the common newbie mistake of thibking that it was good manors to wai all and sundry - young and old...not many things will highlight your newbie-ness more than wai'ing some 8 year old kid.

PS: This is meant to be humourous, so keep the flaming to a minumu (unless its funny of course)

[Edited: Decided it was better typing with my fingers than my elbows!]

Edited May 30, 2008 by wolf5370

[CarlBkk]

I cringe when I think back on these. Actually, I cringed at most at them at the time when I realised I XXXXed up. All of these happened when I first came over (before permanently moving here) when I was 21:

I heard so many Thais use the word "tam arai" that I said it to a random girl passing me on Khao San Road one day (was in a stupid mood). Her reply was "arai wa!". It was then I thought "oops, shouldn't have done that".

I once ate food on a house floor with my feet sticking out (they told me politely). I felt so ashamed that I was more or less silent for the rest of the meal. I didn't get invited back.

In a shop I asked for "gang-gaeng nai" (underpants) when I should have asked for "gang-gai" (scissors).

I once addressed a Uni student friend showing me around as "nam gum" when her name was "nam gnuen". Nam Gum means semen. She was p*ssed off as she thought I was joking around rudely. She came out of it later. Much later.

I kissed a girl on the cheek outside RCA (around 1998 when there were really no foreigners going there at all). She almost died of embarrassment and I think I was only saved from a slap because I was a visiting foreigner.

Instead of wai-ing my Thai friend's parents when I met them I shook their hands.

I enjoyed a few days with a local girl, most probably the "freelance" variety without me knowing it and thought people were thinking what a stunner I'd pulled when out with her. Wrong. To them she was obviously a dark-skinned freelancer and those looks weren't approval.

I once gave the toilet-massage chaps a 500 baht tip. It was the shock of having a massage at a urinal combined with drunkenly mixing up the notes.

I arranged for all groups of Thai friends (uni students, mostly girls) to meet me and my 2 friends at the same place, same time. The plan was to all have a big happy dinner out together. Oh no. Their faces looked like death when they saw other girls had been invited too. You could feel the tension and conversation was difficult. Learnt a big lesson there...don't mix friends at the same time, foreigners might feel more at ease with strangers in a situation, but most Thais don't.

If I could turn back time... (as Aqua once said)

[JetsetBkk]

Dropped a coin given to me as change for a drink I'd bought. Trod on it to stop it rolling away. Whoops! "Why you put your foot on my king!" the waitress screamed.

Now, if I drop a coin, I just watch where it goes and slowly go to pick it up. Can never get the sound of that waitress out of my head.

[boiledegg]

I enjoyed a few days with a local girl, most probably the "freelance" variety without me knowing it and thought people were thinking what a stunner I'd pulled when out with her. Wrong. To them she was obviously a dark-skinned freelancer and those looks weren't approval.

I too have spent time with dark skinned Thai girls, i would never make such a cultural error again as they arent really human are they! and wouldnt enable people like us to keep up the perfect breeding we both undoubtably come from. Its good to know there a 2 of us who feel ashamed being with dark skinned Thai girls, now i only date Thai girls from skin whitening adverts.

[CarlBkk]

egg, what I was trying to say, if you read between the lines, is that at the time I thought I'd done well, I felt proud, I thought people were thinking "wow, he's done ok..he's got a goodlooking local girl" when in actual fact they were most likely thinking "what the hel_l is that young foreigner doing with her...why do I see so many foreigners scraping the bottom of the looks/social barrel over here?".

It's a fact, I wasn't passing judgement on dark girls or freelancers. For most Thai people this look is considered unattractive and so stereotypes are born between a foreigner opting for a munter in a land full of beauties.

Edited May 30, 2008 by CarlBkk

[Nampeung]

I was being shown around a temple by a monk and I was dilligently walking behind him when he knelt up onto the monk,s platform in front of the Buddha image to bow and I followed him up there

[CarlBkk]

I was being shown around a temple by a monk and I was dilligently walking behind him when he knelt up onto the monk,s platform in front of the Buddha image to bow and I followed him up there

[PeaceBlondie]

One of my first supervised practice teaching sessions with Thai students, and I was nervous even though I had given hundreds of classes in my previous lives. There was a properly framed photo on the wall, directly behind me, and I got excited. My left hand lashed out, back and wham! I smacked that photo of You-Know-Whom really hard.

[faranginexile]

First teaching gig, teaching personal pronouns (I, you, he-she-it, etc.), did a recite and repeat:

Me (in sing-song tone, as one would use when urging room full of kids to repeat, very similar to Thai falling-rising tone): Aaaa-ee (I)

Kids: Aaa-ee.

Me: Yooo-uu (you)

Kids: Yoo-uu

Me: Heee-ee (he)

Kids: Stunned silence, since the teacher just sang out "Cu**-nt."

[Skyline]

I knew a guy that bought one of the 'Golden Buckets' from Big C and he thought it was a 'All In One' shopping kit.Complete with coffee,noodles,soap and candles,what more could a newbie want?

[wolf5370]

Ok another one of mine. I had been courting the Mrs for a few months and her father had decided to drive us to CM in his pickup (from BKK) - chaperoned. On the way we stop off at a petrol station and I need the loo. My first experience of number 1's in one of those hole-in-the-floor jobies. The floor is quite wet, so I lower my shorts to my ancles and twist them around so they don't touch the floor. Things are going OK when my foot slips on the ceramic mid flow. As my legs are effectively tied, I can only go down. Butt hits the hole and legs shoot out in front of me. Still mid flow, I p!ss straight in my shorts and flounder about like a dropped fireman's hose. I got up and finished and stood in the cubicle for ages trying to work out what to do - shorts looked like I hadn't made it to the loo in time. I was so embarrassed I didn;t know enough Thai to say what happened, so I'm sure my father-in-law to be thought I'd p!ssed myself!

On the way home from the airport another time - also in FIL-2B's car (and Mother-in-Law-2B there too this time). I have a stomach upset. We are stuck in traffic and I really need to go so bad I'm sweating in the ice cold aircon. As I plead I keep getting 'nearly there' - I'm nearly in tears. The car moves two foot in half an hour. Eventually wife manages to get them to pullover as I'm eyeing the flyover struts as a place to sit behind (!). There is a shanty town like settlement near the flyover, so MIL-2B and GF shoot out and knock on a few 'doors'. They find one with a toilet and make a deal (20 baht) for use-of. So I get marched to this hut and there is one room with a curtained off shower and toliet area. With a 30-something woman, my GF and the future MIL sitting in the room the other side of the curtain I have to go. So trying to be quiet I go. The strain of holding it so long makes it the noisies, smelliest etc you can imagine with me groaning and 'oh god'-ing. No loo roll, so a quick wash and I come out to two grins (GF and MIL) and a women with the utter look of horror on her face OMG!!!

Edited May 30, 2008 by wolf5370

[lioness]

When my now husband and I began dating we went on a fishing trip. I was sitting on the upper deck of the small boat with my legs dangling down to the lower level. My partner was standing below and everytime he walked past I would brush my feet over his hair.

I couldn't understand why he was holding on to the budda symbol around his neck and muttering, down the track I found out what his muttering was, sorry, sorry, she's a falang and doesn't understand.

Now years down the track I still feel ashamed about this.

[teacup]

My husband quickly learned that the zebra crossing is just a road art in Thailand.

[Kerryd]

On my very first trip back in '93. Spent a couple days in Bangkok, then went to Pattaya. Around the 3rd night in Pattaya, sitting in a bar on Walking Street, someone asked me where the bathrooms were.

I had one arm on the bar and a drink in my other hand. Not thinking (or knowing any better), I used my foot to point in the general direction of the toilets.

I can still remember the looks of shock and horror on the faces of the staff. One of them was kind enough to explain the terrible mistake I had made (even though I hadn't actually pointed my foot at anyone, it was still rude to use it to gesture).

I've wai'd to kids as well (it just seemed the polite thing to do at the time, especially when you are expected to return a wai given by anyone else). I imagine I've made a few other errors that my friends have been kind enough to overlook (though it would be nice if they pointed them out so I would know not to do it again).

[Ulysses G.]

I might have shoved the first guy to come up behind me and start massaging my shoulders when I was trying to take a piss in the bathroom of some bar.

[girlx]

I said 'khap' instead of 'kha' several times and got weird looks

[Johpa]

One need not be a newbie, A few years ago one of our more influential neighbors, a high Sakdina type, offered me a very generous deal on something I owned and I politely declined. So even us dinosaurs can make cultural mistakes when our egos blind us to the cultural realities of Everyday Life in Thailand, blinding even those of us who consider the book of the same name to be our survival guide to living amongst the Thais.

[wade72]

Well I have the grand daddy of them all, before meeting my future father in law for the first time I practiced over and over “fun dee na krup, fun dee na krup” Which should be sleep well or sweet dreams very politely. Would have been a huge hit actually, except I used the wrong intonation so instead of saying sweet dreams I said “<deleted> good”

OOPS

[t.s]

Well I have the grand daddy of them all, before meeting my future father in law for the first time I practiced over and over “fun dee na krup, fun dee na krup” Which should be sleep well or sweet dreams very politely. Would have been a huge hit actually, except I used the wrong intonation so instead of saying sweet dreams I said “<deleted> good”

OOPS

i once regaled a 70 year old woman about the abundant hii-ma in canada. without a word she got up and left the house.

[Tywais]

The one faux pas that sticks in my mind is on my wedding night. After the reception we went to the honeymoon suite followed by an entourage of close friends and family for the final ceremony. The bed had rocks and flowers on it. Later the two of us had to kneel on the bed facing each other while someone gave a blessing. No one had tutored me on what was going to happen or what to do. She (wife) then started a wai and bowed towards me, and thinking I was supposed to do the same ended up head butting her.

If looks could kill.... whew! The others in the room just burst out laughing and waving their hands that I wasn't supposed to wai her. Yeah, big faux pas and embarrassment.

[Sir Burr]

In bad Thai, kept asking for fried penis instead of fried banana.

[CarlBkk]

In bad Thai, kept asking for fried penis instead of fried banana.

Oh, I still do that now.

[t.s]

In bad Thai, kept asking for fried penis instead of fried banana.

Oh, I still do that now.

i have to admit, it did run into a very obnoxius inividual at foodland soi 5 once.

he was steaming about the place looking for large bananas and the staff seemed unable to understand him. he approached me yelling:

"how do you say bananas?"

"kuay", i replied.

he then ran about the fruit section yelling:

'aw kuay yai"

cruel, but funny.

[CarlBkk]

i have to admit, it did run into a very obnoxius inividual at foodland soi 5 once.

I can quite believe it. It's hard not to run into very obnoxious individuals at foodland soi 5 isn't it? The place is a zoo, in the nicest possible way.

[pete_r]

In bad Thai, kept asking for fried penis instead of fried banana.

Oh, I still do that now.

I've already quit trying to use the Thai word for banana.

[lardy]

On the way home from the airport another time - also in FIL-2B's car (and Mother-in-Law-2B there too this time). I have a stomach upset. We are stuck in traffic and I really need to go so bad I'm sweating in the ice cold aircon. As I plead I keep getting 'nearly there' - I'm nearly in tears. The car moves two foot in half an hour. Eventually wife manages to get them to pullover as I'm eyeing the flyover struts as a place to sit behind (!). There is a shanty town like settlement near the flyover, so MIL-2B and GF shoot out and knock on a few 'doors'. They find one with a toilet and make a deal (20 baht) for use-of. So I get marched to this hut and there is one room with a curtained off shower and toliet area. With a 30-something woman, my GF and the future MIL sitting in the room the other side of the curtain I have to go. So trying to be quiet I go. The strain of holding it so long makes it the noisies, smelliest etc you can imagine with me groaning and 'oh god'-ing. No loo roll, so a quick wash and I come out to two grins (GF and MIL) and a women with the utter look of horror on her face OMG!!!

ive wet myself just reading this one gufffffawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

[Nampeung]

Just checked re the banana thing and apparently it's Gluay for banana and Kuewy for penis

[dr_Pat_Pong]

In bad Thai, kept asking for fried penis instead of fried banana.

Oh, I still do that now.

I've already quit trying to use the Thai word for banana.

and PUMPKIN

[wade72]

Almost forgot Pumpkin, still have a hard time with that one.

Another one I did, my very loving but slightly strict sister-in-law asked me to burn a CD of her photo's from her camera. I wrote on the CD

"Pics - P'Took's Cam."

I didn’t know that "cam" in Thai means clitoris.

[CarlBkk]

Almost forgot Pumpkin, still have a hard time with that one.

Another one I did, my very loving but slightly strict sister-in-law asked me to burn a CD of her photo's from her camera. I wrote on the CD

"Pics - P'Took's Cam."

I didn’t know that "cam" in Thai means clitoris.

I didn't know that either, but I do now...and it's useful :-)