Death By Alcohol

[Lickey]

A friend and drinking partner who would do a 4 month turnaround [home & work} come back and see his wife here ect like a lot of people do, but his drinking got out of hand, he and his wife would come to our house at 8 in the morning with a bottle of whiskey and a few beers, My wife would send them away..

He found somebody else to drink with, he did have his Bday with us [40] and he was a little drunk as usual, his wife said to him, "are you trying to kill yourself, nearly 2 bottles of whiskey 7/8 chang draught beers every day and 80 malboro cigs?" he said dont worry, if it kills me, you will get 10.000.000 bht!.

The only time we saw them after that was various drinking places in the village, it transpires that a week after he got home, there was another Bday party and the result was a heart attack and death.

Perhaps im grabbing at straws here but im wondering with all that money coming, did she encourage him?

Just wondered if anybody has seen or heard of this kind of behavior before.

Thankyou, Lickey.

[jumnien]

Yes, I've heard of alcoholic behaviour many times before here in Thailand and around the world. Too bad he didn't get help with his disease. There is a solution.

[garro]

I am an ex-drunk and the sad truth is nobody else can stop a drunk from getting drunk. Drunks tend to surround themselves with people who won't get in the way of their drinking and abandon those people who do get in the way. Nobody can force a drunk to drink. So no I don't think that his wife can be blamed. For some reason, some of us drunks manage to escape the downward cycle of addiction. Why this is, is anybody's guess. It could be luck or the result of good karma performed in the past. Who knows. The really sad thing though is that if we don't manage to escape the addiction there is only one place we can go. An early death.

[PhilHarries]

Agree with garro there, having been in the same position although I still drink but I just drink at appropriate times and have 4 days a week off the booze (so there can be a way back).

Sounds like his wife was also his soul buddy and drinking partner all rolled into one, a bad combination. If he was drinking that kind of quantity and smoking 80 a day on top then it was almost a suicide run. The right counselling could have saved him but a person has to want to kick the habits to even go to the counselling let alone listen to what is being said and act on it. While it's true that you can't force a man to drink you also can't force a man to quit drinking, only hitting rock bottom has a chance of doing that but unfortunately he died before he got wise.

You say he went and found somebody else to drink with when your wife sent him away. Well the same would have happened if his own wife objected to his habits. As garro says drunks like to surround themselves with drunks and they will scour the neighbourhood looking for drinking partners.

Have I seen this kind of behaviour before? Well not exactly the same but I've known a few that appeared to have a death wish drink habit, sadly most have achieved their goal.

In answer to your other question I don't think his wife encouraged him, she just gave up trying to save him.

[Lickey]

Thankyou gentlemen, very commendable posts and understandable.

I did try hard to help him by telling him to come to our farm, exercise a bit, sweat it out and drink lots of water, then go home and have a beer or 2 to reward yourself for your efforts, this lasted 3 days, he said, no more, its too hot!! and youve right in saying his wife gave up on him, she got the same, but nowhere near the quantity of her husband, i think she had given up trying to save him.but then there is the insurance money? as we all know, small print is the policy, a PM will show he had been on a 4 month binge rather than a one-nighter.

The main reason for my OP is that i see her in the village she seems to have no remorse whatsoever.

My own personel alcohol experince is that i came close to the gates of hel_l and i saw it in time, it was affecting my work and friends and family, i now have a 6pm threshold, then i have 4/5 chang lights, 4.2%, every night, perhaps some wine or a dram of brandy at Bdays and Xmas, the only time this 6pm might be broken is on sundays if Moto GP or Formula 1 is on the box.

Thanks again for your comments, Lickey..

[BlackNinja]

Thankyou gentlemen, very commendable posts and understandable.

I did try hard to help him by telling him to come to our farm, exercise a bit, sweat it out and drink lots of water, then go home and have a beer or 2 to reward yourself for your efforts, this lasted 3 days, he said, no more, its too hot!! and youve right in saying his wife gave up on him, she got the same, but nowhere near the quantity of her husband, i think she had given up trying to save him.but then there is the insurance money? as we all know, small print is the policy, a PM will show he had been on a 4 month binge rather than a one-nighter.

The main reason for my OP is that i see her in the village she seems to have no remorse whatsoever.

My own personel alcohol experince is that i came close to the gates of hel_l and i saw it in time, it was affecting my work and friends and family, i now have a 6pm threshold, then i have 4/5 chang lights, 4.2%, every night, perhaps some wine or a dram of brandy at Bdays and Xmas, the only time this 6pm might be broken is on sundays if Moto GP or Formula 1 is on the box.

Thanks again for your comments, Lickey..

It only takes one drink! It's how it affects you...

[Briggsy]

I recommend you read "Hotel Honolulu" by Paul Theroux. Not only is it a great read, but there are parallels between your friend's story and the story in the book.

[bachelor]

I am an ex-drunk and the sad truth is nobody else can stop a drunk from getting drunk. Drunks tend to surround themselves with people who won't get in the way of their drinking and abandon those people who do get in the way. Nobody can force a drunk to drink. So no I don't think that his wife can be blamed. For some reason, some of us drunks manage to escape the downward cycle of addiction. Why this is, is anybody's guess. It could be luck or the result of good karma performed in the past. Who knows. The really sad thing though is that if we don't manage to escape the addiction there is only one place we can go. An early death.

Excellant post from Garro & Phil Harries.....food for thought in both replies to a sad story.

[issanpaul]

I am an ex-drunk and the sad truth is nobody else can stop a drunk from getting drunk. Drunks tend to surround themselves with people who won't get in the way of their drinking and abandon those people who do get in the way. Nobody can force a drunk to drink. So no I don't think that his wife can be blamed. For some reason, some of us drunks manage to escape the downward cycle of addiction. Why this is, is anybody's guess. It could be luck or the result of good karma performed in the past. Who knows. The really sad thing though is that if we don't manage to escape the addiction there is only one place we can go. An early death.

well said Garro

[dotcom]

Your post is a lot less about abusive drinking & a lot more about premeditated murder.

I didn't know we had this little sub forum. I quit over 10 years ago with the help of AA Bangkok to whom I will be forever grateful.

Right on Garro. Until the victim acknowledges there is a problem - there is no solution.

My father died under similar circimstances. He was an idiot too.

[12DrinkMore]

nearly 2 bottles of whiskey 7/8 chang draught beers every day

Did that guy manage to function at all?

[Lickey]

I would think the truth is that he needed a drink to function, I went through a stage where all day i felt like <deleted>, but after 2 beers in the evening i would brighten up no end,seems my unfortunate friend needed this all day..