Home Alone

[yoy]

Tell the police, tell the social services. The kid will be much better off in a children's home

[chickenslegs]

Hi HJ

A lot of people are giving you cr*p for 'interfering', whilst others think you should 'confront' the mother.

I think you are intending to speak to the head teacher, and (IMO) that is the best course at the moment.

The guy who thinks a school head teacher would put a child at risk for the sake of keeping the school fees is living on a different planet.

There seem to be a lot of professional schoolteachers on this forum, I wonder if any of them would care to comment.

Also - although hard to take - I don't think you should dismiss Villagefarang's comments lightly. Boys and girls are curious - no amount of computer games will change that. (Not a criticism - I know you weren't aware of the lack of supervision when you dropped off your daughter).

[Cuban]

Some (?) children in Thailand appear to be able and expected to cope with situations that in farangland * would be deemed beyond the ability of a child to manage. (* Varies with country.)

Many Thai 8 year olds will learn to drive a motorbike and then use the same for the school run, even with 3 or 4 passengers. How many schools have you seen with large parking areas for the kids bikes? Yet the kids have no licences as these are only availible to those 18 years and older.

There are cases of children finding trouble when allowed to roam at random, I am thinking of a recent case of stone throwing at a Pattaya train, the kids were rounded up bt the police then taken home and punished by the parents for bringing a bad name to the family - imagine that happening in farangland?

Is the fact that Thai communities are better communities than we had in the west - there is a presence of neighbours that will help and awareness of what is happening around them that provides the support that is now lacking in the west, so replaced with laws.

The Thais in my office consider a sensible 11 year could be left alone for a day, there was much less support for him or more importantly her being left overnight.

[Ijustwannateach]

The worst case I'm aware of is a kid whose parents ran a restaurant abroad somewhere and left him to raise himself more or less from about 10 years old until present (he's about 20 now). They sent plenty of money, gave him an apartment, hired a maid, paid for private schools, etc.- but still.

"S"

[Huey]

Thanks for the suggestions and advice.

I think a quiet word with the school head might be a good way forward.

I'll also suggest that my wife offers her services as babysitter. (She'll like that - they have a 42" TV!)

Thanks again.

Cheers

HoJo

The Wife baby sitter is really probably the best bet. as you don't wanna break up the friends just because their parents are neglectfull. And at the same time you don't need to have them there all alone by themselves at 11 anyway. Also when the man gets back in a few months he will probably be easier for you to approach with that concern as well.

He may not even know whats going on.

[Gravelrash]

If it's not illegal in Thailand, what can be done?

very true... unfortunalty, the Thai Society do not have the same values as western Society IE riding with your 1 year old baby on the motorbike!

And why do you want to impose western values on Thai society anyways?

Thai society has its own values, be it good or bad. That what the socities are for. If they are all same, where can we find diversity then?

Its a very narrow minded view of yours to fit everything according to your perception and experience. West is NOT Thailand, so they have different values.

Take off the rose tinted glasses. I hardly see someone worried about a child as "imposing" western values. And even if he was, good for him. Thai "values" are not some sacred testament, and as some others have pointed out this is not considered a Thai value.

Aside from that, any bet the father does not know his wife choofed off to Bangkok and left their child alone. It is neglect pure and simple and nothing to do with values.

[mrsmith]

hi ,i suggest you contact the childs mother again to find out when she plans to return.make an offer to let he son stay with you.

distortedlink:

We had already established that the mother would not be returning home or, indeed, any relative - that's why we offered a place to stay.

As you probably are aware, it does no good to confront a Thai person with accusations of any wrong doing, so we felt that, in this instance, this would be the best approach.

I have no way currently of contacting the father and am not sure what good this would do anyway.

If I was not concerned about the welfare of the child, I would not have posted this thread would I?

[johnoKrasang]

I watched the news the 2 week ago with a father who locked up his son for 10 years in the house and another news clipping of a grandma who chained her grandson up so he couldnt leave the house..... Both whent the monkey house.

Should also apply to the mother who leaves her 11 yo alone while she in bkk.

[GracelessFawn]

Kids are always helpless. They can't fight for themselves coz they don't know their rights to start with. If 'us' adults don't do anything to protect their rights, who else would do it?

[lioness]

Keep out of it, you will be the villain if you interfere.

[smileah]

Over the weekend we took our 11 year daughter to her friends (classmate - same age) house for the afternoon.

There were no adults there at the time but didn't think too much about it. Its a nice big house on a good estate.

About 5pm we pick up our daughter to go to the cinema. It turns out they have been alone all afternoon and there was no food, only Mama noodles.

My mrs invites the friend along to the cinema and after the movie, I ask if we are taking the friend home first before heading back ourselves.

She tells me that the friend is going to stay with us as his mum is still not home and they don't know when she will be back. I ask where the father is and apparently he is working in Canada for 3 months. Where is the mum I ask. She is staying in Bangkok. Any family to look after him? No, Auntie has gone to Bangkok also.

So, after calling the mum to make sure it was ok, the friend stayed overnight with us.

The next day we took the friend back about 3pm but there was still no sign of adults there. There was a bag of takeaway food hanging on the gate.

So, father away. Mother and Auntie away in BKK. No provisions left for the kid. 11 Years old. Thai mother/foreign father.

He seemed happy and healthy but should an 11 year old be left alone all weekend?

Absolutely not! If this had happened in Canada, he would have been scooped up and rescued by CPS. Thanks for helping him.

[smileah]

Over the weekend we took our 11 year daughter to her friends (classmate - same age) house for the afternoon.

There were no adults there at the time but didn't think too much about it. Its a nice big house on a good estate.

About 5pm we pick up our daughter to go to the cinema. It turns out they have been alone all afternoon and there was no food, only Mama noodles.

My mrs invites the friend along to the cinema and after the movie, I ask if we are taking the friend home first before heading back ourselves.

She tells me that the friend is going to stay with us as his mum is still not home and they don't know when she will be back. I ask where the father is and apparently he is working in Canada for 3 months. Where is the mum I ask. She is staying in Bangkok. Any family to look after him? No, Auntie has gone to Bangkok also.

So, after calling the mum to make sure it was ok, the friend stayed overnight with us.

The next day we took the friend back about 3pm but there was still no sign of adults there. There was a bag of takeaway food hanging on the gate.

So, father away. Mother and Auntie away in BKK. No provisions left for the kid. 11 Years old. Thai mother/foreign father.

He seemed happy and healthy but should an 11 year old be left alone all weekend?

Absolutely not! If this had happened in Canada, he would have been scooped up and rescued by CPS. Contact the Canadian Embassy. Thanks for helping him.

[hedonist44]

Well of course it's not a good idea, but this is Thailand where alot of children are made to be on their own at an early age. Not un common at all, and we have no right to say one way or the other. We can surley be concerned and try to monitor the situation from afar, but thaat's as far as it should go unless of course you do see evidence of abuse.

[wolf5370]

I think you have two real options (ignoring turning a blind eye as if you could do this, this post wouldn't be here):

I) Offer to put him up.

II) Anonymously let someone in authority know.

The third (I know I said 2 options, but i said 2 REAL option) is letting you wife handle it. My Mrs would be on the phone to her (kid's mum) chastising her and telling her to sort something out. Thai women get away with this it seems to me. It definitely would not be appreciated if you the farang outsider did it.

Anything else would just leave you with problems that could turn nasty or a least make you life difficult.