To Tell Or Not To Tell

[coventry]

Sorry to hear of your misfortune Ken. Had someone told you just after you were married instead of a few years ago, that she was messing about, would you have believed them ?

[garro]

I think that it is good to remember that all relationships end badly - nothing lasts forever and even the most loving will end in death. I disagree when people say that their relationships was a mistake, if you were happy for a few weeks, months, or even years then where is the mistake? You might end up losing a lot financially, but you will lose it all one day anyway.

[rockyysdt]

I think that it is good to remember that all relationships end badly - nothing lasts forever and even the most loving will end in death.

Agreed garro.

What if we divide break ups into two groups?

1. Ends in failure due to incompatibility, drifting apart, falling out of love, etc.

2. Ends in failure due to scam from the beginning.

I'd hate to be involved in the latter.

[coventry]

I think that it is good to remember that all relationships end badly - nothing lasts forever and even the most loving will end in death. I disagree when people say that their relationships was a mistake, if you were happy for a few weeks, months, or even years then where is the mistake? You might end up losing a lot financially, but you will lose it all one day anyway.

The mistake is that people don't do their homework before they come here. Not all but most come here without the understanding of how devious most Thai can be. I personally know a couple of B/G's and who tell me about the scams they pull on the farang. One currently, aged 28, who's has a farang of 72 who wants to marry her. He has to take Viagra pre sex which she doesnt enjoy but the 10,000 Baht every month kind of makes up for it. What's the chance of him being happy long term ? Will people never learn ?

[Ken]

Sorry to hear of your misfortune Ken. Had someone told you just after you were married instead of a few years ago, that she was messing about, would you have believed them ?

If told right after I was married...believe them?......Kind of hard to say. I was still relatively new to Thailand (two years), but I would like to think that it would have made me think. Even when I was told via a phone call to the USA, I didn't want to believe, but since the news came from good sources, my friend and then my ex wife's sister, it was kind of difficult to not believe. Anyway, everything is fine now and life, indeed, does go on.

[Maigo6]

He has to take Viagra pre sex which she doesnt enjoy but the 10,000 Baht every month kind of makes up for it. What's the chance of him being happy long term ?

Will people never learn ?

At the age of 72 I doubt he gives a <deleted> about the long term, if he had the opportunity to bed a 28 year old woman in his own country for the pitiful sum of 10,000 Baht a month he would jump at it also.

Would he be seen as needing to learn anything if she was a western woman in his own country ?

I can't think of many 72 year old blokes who would think they needed lessons in life whilst bonking a 28 year old for the price of a meal for 2 in a London restaurant.

[Thaddeus]

I can't think of many 72 year old blokes who would think they needed lessons in life whilst bonking a 28 year old for the price of a meal for 2 in a London restaurant.

100% agree...... he's probably having the best time of his life, more than aware what the real score is, and probably sleeps grinning about it.

But his situation is wildly different to the OP.

[Screws]

A bloke that lives in the same village as me wife's is doing the dirty. Although I've only known him a short time he is a good guy he dos'nt live in Thailand full time but he is planning on moving over next year. Now normally this sort of thing would'nt bother me it just comes with the territory, but this poor bloke is about to pour 3mil into a house that he has just started constuction on while he's wife has a thai husband. Can I let myself just watch this guy throw his hard earned money away or should I pull him aside over a few quiet beers and let him know.To tell or not to tell that is my problem any advice.

Get some incontrovertible proof and send it to him anonymously.

[coventry]

He has to take Viagra pre sex which she doesnt enjoy but the 10,000 Baht every month kind of makes up for it. What's the chance of him being happy long term ?

Will people never learn ?

At the age of 72 I doubt he gives a <deleted> about the long term, if he had the opportunity to bed a 28 year old woman in his own country for the pitiful sum of 10,000 Baht a month he would jump at it also.

Would he be seen as needing to learn anything if she was a western woman in his own country ?

I can't think of many 72 year old blokes who would think they needed lessons in life whilst bonking a 28 year old for the price of a meal for 2 in a London restaurant.

Yes he does need something to learn, and that it's business areement, wanting marriage takes it beyond that perspective. Will the marriage work obviously not. She, the B/G has already said this. At 72 he should give a <deleted> about the long term. Because if she screws him over he aint going to be able to start again. Will she screw him over ? You bet your sweat ass she will.

[coventry]

Get some incontrovertible proof and send it to him anonymously.

Take it from me he wont. Been there done that and I never did it anonymously. The wife will smooth talk him over, by saying "he's a long term friend and we never had sex" and he'll believe her. If you aint got the photo's of them bonking, where's the proof ? End of story.

Edited June 16, 2008 by coventry

[jay-uk]

If someone is that old it is pointless trying to tell them in any case. In the UK there is a saying which is very relevant in this kind of situation:

"There ain't no fool like an old fool!"

Edited June 16, 2008 by jay-uk

[bergen]

He has to take Viagra pre sex which she doesnt enjoy but the 10,000 Baht every month kind of makes up for it. What's the chance of him being happy long term ?

Will people never learn ?

At the age of 72 I doubt he gives a <deleted> about the long term, if he had the opportunity to bed a 28 year old woman in his own country for the pitiful sum of 10,000 Baht a month he would jump at it also.

Would he be seen as needing to learn anything if she was a western woman in his own country ?

I can't think of many 72 year old blokes who would think they needed lessons in life whilst bonking a 28 year old for the price of a meal for 2 in a London restaurant.

Yes he does need something to learn, and that it's business areement, wanting marriage takes it beyond that perspective. Will the marriage work obviously not. She, the B/G has already said this. At 72 he should give a <deleted> about the long term. Because if she screws him over he aint going to be able to start again. Will she screw him over ? You bet your sweat ass she will.

Many oldtimers have money - and several find women in Los (even moore than one time).

As long as you are alive and not broke - anything is possible

Maybe a bit positive perspective will do some times

[Shotime]

If someone is that old it is pointless trying to tell them in any case. In the UK there is a saying which is very relevant in this kind of situation:

"There ain't no fool like an old fool!"

There's also "The Older The Bull, The Harder The Horn"

[Thaddeus]

He has to take Viagra pre sex which she doesnt enjoy but the 10,000 Baht every month kind of makes up for it. What's the chance of him being happy long term ?

Will people never learn ?

At the age of 72 I doubt he gives a <deleted> about the long term, if he had the opportunity to bed a 28 year old woman in his own country for the pitiful sum of 10,000 Baht a month he would jump at it also.

Would he be seen as needing to learn anything if she was a western woman in his own country ?

I can't think of many 72 year old blokes who would think they needed lessons in life whilst bonking a 28 year old for the price of a meal for 2 in a London restaurant.

Yes he does need something to learn, and that it's business areement, wanting marriage takes it beyond that perspective. Will the marriage work obviously not. She, the B/G has already said this. At 72 he should give a <deleted> about the long term. Because if she screws him over he aint going to be able to start again. Will she screw him over ? You bet your sweat ass she will.

Please read this situation again (and I will reiterate, it is not the same as the OP) 72 year old bloke paying a much younger girl to take care of him, no mention of building a house, no mention of buying a rubber plantation, no mention of doing anything apart from 10k a month to make sure that he is happy..... based on those illustrations, I fail to see how he can be screwed apart from the one he signed up for.

[coventry]

^ She aint going to set her stall out at the begining. Did you ever read the story of the 70+ guy, about 6 months ago in Pattaya ? Shipped 12 million Baht into his wifes bank account, after selling all his assets back home, only for him to be told to clear off when he got here. Do you fail to see how he got screwed ? I'll gladly google the story, one of thousands, if requested. But there's no need for me to do that as I'm sure you know it's happening all the time. Being a B/G is like being at school, they get educated, for the worse or the better is a debateable point.

[Thaddeus]

Not the same thing.

[Maigo6]

^ She aint going to set her stall out at the begining.

Does anybody ?

Did your wife set out her stall when you met her. did mine ?

Did I set out my stall when I met her, did you ? Yeah Yeah , I know, ours are different............

As far as the 72 year old guy goes, he gets a pension, he's probably got more dosh than any of us here and and she makes him feel young again........................... good luck to him I say, I hope I have that problem when I'm 72.

I suppose you would rather he stay in the UK, play dominos in The Legion Club once a week and die a lonely old man leaving his wealth to some relative who will go to Thailand and have a ball with their windfall.

[Maigo6]

Do you fail to see how he got screwed ? I'll gladly google the story, one of thousands, if requested.

Send me thousands of links to read please, factual story's only, not ones made up in Bars and internet forums by bitter and twisted Farangs who have screwed their own lives up, blame Thailand, and base that as the norm for all .

Then I'll send you thousands of storys of Farangs who have lied and decieved Thai women too.

Of course these story's may not be true, cos we all know that Farangs are a bunch of honest folks who are sent to Thailand at gunpoint to get robbed by the devious Thai people.

Is that what happened to you ?

You seem to be very unhappy in Thailand, you never have a good word to say about the place or the Thai people, you married a Thai and live in Thailand I assume ?

Why ?

[coventry]

As always Maigrain6, off the mark in every respect.

[Thaddeus]

To be quite honest, referring and changing the name of a well respected poster (irrespective of if he is always agreed with) is usually a sure indication that they have touched a nerve.

[Lickey]

I like these kind of posts, it brings people out of there shells, I would think that this one will peter out soon only to be replaced by a new one after the next wave of falangs hit the beaches in Nov/Dec onwards,till March/April next year.

They will find or meet a girl and it will be the best sex they ever had, and they are smitten! they go home, sell up and move here, with incredible age gaps, Builds a house, buys a truck, ect ect then gets told to eff off, and then the fella who goes home, sends money every month and visits when he has a holiday, of course she welcomes him, she has a month or so of no work and no pay, and of course endless excuses to get him to the ATM.

It dosnt apply to me cos i live here full time, but a lot of posters have said "if he is to thick not to see the warning signs ect" when he returns, could somebody clarify what signs to look out for when all a visiting falang thinks about is her and some good sex..

Cheers Lickey.

[bergen]

I know a guy (in his 60's) who spends little money on him self, but gives a lot to his thai wife so she can build new house, buy more land, more cows and buffaloes and so on.

When asked why he spend so much money, his answer is simple and as follows:

His children from earlier marriage are well off, so he spends the money he have on his present life, with enough income from his pension to live comfortable.

[feffejonsson]

Seems like it´s time to change the headline of this topic??!!

[Gary A]

I live in my young Thai wife's house out here in the boonies. Every month I give her 25,000 baht. That pays for everything including my clothes and cigarettes. Do you think she is ripping me off?

[garro]

What I often find interesting about these threads is that people forget that many of those who are being 'ripped off' often already have a history of failed romance even before they came to Thailand. Then they couldn't blame it on the 'evil ways' of the Thai woman. I would imagine that a lot of their romances in Thailand don't work out for the same reason that there last one didn't.

Edited June 18, 2008 by garro

[KHUNDAN]

I don't rarely say much on this forum, but I will say unless you have FACTS and unless you want trouble yourself then leave well enough alone. The guy will learn the hard way and move on, but you are here supposely to stay! Keep your nose in your own pasture and let the roamers do as they wish. That's my 2 cent's.

Good or bad I have done this before personally and can tell all that it makes life harder on you than the bloke that did not know better.

KHUNDAN

[coventry]

To be quite honest, referring and changing the name of a well respected poster (irrespective of if he is always agreed with) is usually a sure indication that they have touched a nerve.

No it isn't. I had a run in with Maigo6 sometime before and putting Maigrain6 was an hint to him as to the past. Notice no come back on my previous post ? But I'm sure this will drag him out from under his rock. Not only that I changed his name initially because it is one of his favourite ways to wind people up. And if he's a respected poster then the forum is going down hill fast. I would say he's the biggest troll on here. I suppose that this will now be deleted as I've spoken badly of a respected poster and against forum rules, so I believe ? Edited June 18, 2008 by coventry

[coventry]

I like these kind of posts, it brings people out of there shells, I would think that this one will peter out soon only to be replaced by a new one after the next wave of falangs hit the beaches in Nov/Dec onwards,till March/April next year.

They will find or meet a girl and it will be the best sex they ever had, and they are smitten! they go home, sell up and move here, with incredible age gaps, Builds a house, buys a truck, ect ect then gets told to eff off, and then the fella who goes home, sends money every month and visits when he has a holiday, of course she welcomes him, she has a month or so of no work and no pay, and of course endless excuses to get him to the ATM.

It dosnt apply to me cos i live here full time, but a lot of posters have said "if he is to thick not to see the warning signs ect" when he returns, could somebody clarify what signs to look out for when all a visiting falang thinks about is her and some good sex..

Cheers Lickey.

Nice one Lickey

[nickynomates]

I know of 2 couples in this situation.

The further you dig the deeper it gets.

To me they all deserve each other end of story what is mean to be will be.

[aussiecollin]

Send him an Email saying, in essence:\

G'day old mate, Hey, it's coming up to a great holiday season here in LOS, why don't you come over unannounced to surprise your girl...this is considered excellent form in Thai culture (ie a surprise visit to a loved one)....by all accounts she is really missing you so she will be very pleased to see you.

Hee Hee.