Is The Grass Really Greener?

[aries27]

When I was a kid, I thought US of A was the most wonderful place on Earth. Of course, there are many ways it is still one of it but I grew up and outgrew this fantasy...

But still a number of my countrymen still hold this notion.. Like one can only be rich and successful and fulfill your dreams in the US and increasingly of course in other countries in Europe, Oceania, Asia.. yes anywhere except home... Sad...

But this notion is not just true for us in the PH... I can see how many Westerners think of Thailand and other Asian countries as such... and vice versa. Sometimes, one would just think, why not exchange countries then? If that was that easy eh?

I think the "grass is greener" is a fantasy. You do give up a lot when you leave your country that is why you work harder, you appreciate things better because, hey, you gave up HOME and all the warm and wonderful things attached to it to be in this new country. That is why there is this immigrant syndrome, IMHO. The drive to succeed...

I think for as long as people are not happy or content within themselves, they will never be satisfied or be on their dream place, wherever they are...

Just a shot in the dark here...

And I dare the moderators not to close this topic...

Thanks!!!!

P.S. I think the same is true for finding partners but that is another topic, way too another topic...

Edited June 10, 2008 by aries27

[gymshark]

I have lived and worked in many many countries over the years and yeah, the grass seems greener until you stay there a while. One thing I do know is that no one place is perfect. It may be a condition of mine but I don't think I could ever stay in one place for ever. Here has been OK, and we will be back but there are so many annoying things here that we will move to UK early next year, one thing for sure is that will not be permanent.

[Ulysses G.]

I was learing and drooling at the girls in JJ's coffee shop this morning and then I noticed that they were all with men even fatter and older than me.

The grass is greener!

Edited June 10, 2008 by Ulysses G.

[aries27]

yeah right... were the old guys' wallets getting flatter as well?...

let's not kid ourselves. but yes, we are free to fantasize...

Edited June 10, 2008 by aries27

[Mighty Mouse]

There's no place like home.......

[chickencurry]

If you aspire to a "dream place" don't think you'll ever be happy because it does not exist - at least not on this planet. Everywhere has its good points and bad points. I am happy, contented (so far) in Thailand but know that it's not Utopia and prefer it to my two previous "homes" (Singapore, UK).

[Carib]

Yes, the gras is greener, untill you find out that wherever you are you still have to do the normal regular everyday stupid things.

[Pepe']

"Where the body goes, the mind follows" - Buddhist saying

Translation = "Wherever you go, there you are"

[PhilHarries]

Yes, the gras is greener, untill you find out that wherever you are you still have to do the normal regular everyday stupid things.

That's when you know you are really living somewhere and not just on an extended vacation.

Unless, that is, you are on a lucrative enough deal to be able to afford staff to do all those annoying tasks including keeping you supplied with pina coladas by the pool. But I think even that would get boring , well okay after about ten years or so.

The easiest place to live and work in is your home country. So why the hel_l do we all go through all kinds of sh1t just to live in a country where we are not liked, not trusted, not wanted, cannot own property etc etc etc (generalisations I know but representing a cross section of the gripes expats have)?

I think it is as the OP suggests, we are not satisfied settling down to the 9 to 5 daily grind wearing the millstone mortgage round our neck worrying that the neighbour has just got a Mazda 9500XRi GT when we only have last year's 9400. Working your butt off all year just to afford a two week holiday someplace infested with fellow salary slaves.

Some of us just want to get to a tropical location and settle down to a 7 to 5 six days a week daily grind, rent a little pad somewhere and p1ss the lot up the wall and to hel_l with the Mazda.

Others want to get to a tropical location and do something noble with their time helping those less fortunate than themselves and be able to look down on the rest from their moral high ground.

And in between there are the vast majority of expats that do it for a whole range of reasons.

It may end up that the grass turns out to be no greener but then we can always find a website to whinge on.

[technocracy]

I think it depends on your mindset.

Speaking from my personal viewpoint even though I was born in the UK spent the first 30 years of my life living there, I never had any intentions in staying. I was always looking for the right option and timing to get out. I spent time working in a few countries

In my 30th year I decided to quit my job and take off around the world to find a new home! I had earmarked Oz or NZ as possiblities but I was also very keen to see more of Asia after visiting HK when I was 16. I had never consider SE Asia or Asia at that point. In that journey I spent numerous months in SE Asia and completely immersed myself in the place and when I then travelled on to Oz - my only thoughts were I want go back to SE Asia.

Along the way I had met my soon to be wife also - this wasn't in anyway planned but it felt right and unlike my previous (1st) UK marriage I knew it was the right time. Laos I fell in love with the country even before I met my wife - I spent the longest here of all the countries I visited and didn't really care to travel onwards!

Since my mind turned from travelling back to marrying and putting my life/career back in order I returned to the comfort of the UK purely because of the ease to do so - however I knew it would be temporary. Also I knew I my goal and where I wanted to be - also my staying the UK was now more bearable as my new wife was with me, it also gave me a chance to reavaluate life in the UK being with someone I loved and who was seeing the place with a fresh set of eyes. This stay lasted for 11 months .. .. after which time just over 2 years ago we upped and moved back to Laos. Sure I have a few bug bears here but for me the grass is certainly greener.

I think if you just take option to move to a country on the basis of a whim, wanting to live cheap or 2 week holidays where you do nothing other than inhabit bars, you might be disappointed when reality of living in a different country kicks in.

[Naam]

When I was a kid, I thought US of A was the most wonderful place on Earth. Of course, there are many ways it is still one of it but I grew up and outgrew this fantasy...

But still a number of my countrymen still hold this notion.

even some foreigners (like a bloody German and his wife) think that the US of A was a wonderful place with wonderful people. unfortunately some paranoid clowns headed by a certain village idiot from Texas have turned The Greatest Nation on Earth™ into a not so wonderful place

[Jimjim]

U.S. is a great place especially because it's so big and varied, but the politics and economy are not good right now. For lifestyle, I prefer the life in Thailand, however. But I miss home more these days the longer I'm away for some reason.

[bangsaenguy]

When I was a kid, I thought US of A was the most wonderful place on Earth. Of course, there are many ways it is still one of it but I grew up and outgrew this fantasy...

But still a number of my countrymen still hold this notion.

even some foreigners (like a bloody German and his wife) think that the US of A was a wonderful place with wonderful people. unfortunately some paranoid clowns headed by a certain village idiot from Texas have turned The Greatest Nation on Earth™ into a not so wonderful place

Living in Texas does not make one a Texan. The fool is from Connecticut. I love in Thailand but am not Thai.

[OlRedEyes]

Suppose it depends what you are searching for. Wouldn't go live in US if I want excitement, wouldn't live in Thailand if I'm looking for economic opportunity.

Know thyself first.

[aries27]

yup, thanks for those sharings... really good stuff..

i have visited other countries too, asia and europe but it wasnt until i saw LOS (2nd time in fact) that i thought i fell in love with the country. but reading some posts here (so sorry, but i am just being honest), i didn't like what i saw. i am grateful for TV for this new perspective. i still think LOS is a great place, a few days vacation if you want to go somewhere cheap and tourist-friendly, shop too for some things not available at home.. but i dont like the side of thailand revealed here.. maybe if i fell for a thai and married him for love and life, i can go and live there. but that is not happening AT ALL so really, i am just on TV to talk issues and share stuffs like these...

different strokes for different folks... if you are happy, no problem. the color, er the place should not matter...

[cluezo]

Home sucks, Thailand licks...

[bratpack]

I left the uk 5 years ago and do not regret anything.the commitment i made to live in thailand meant i realy couldnt go back,due to leaving my job etc etc.Every year or so i go back to visit family and friends but always want to come home to thailand.For all its warts there is no place like thailand.

[cluezo]

^ Hear, Hear!!!!

[Naam]

The fool is from Connecticut. I love in Thailand but am not Thai.

meaning WHAT exactly?

[wolf5370]

I'm with technocracy here...

Speaking from my personal viewpoint even though I was born in the UK spent the first 30 years of my life living there, I never had any intentions in staying. I was always looking for the right option and timing to get out.

...for as long as I can remember, I wanted to leave the UK. At 5 I wanted to join the Navy (RN) and this stayed me goal until I discovered computers at 11 (ZX80)...when I left education and took a job, I wanted to get enough experience so I could work abroad. Marriage scuppered this. When I divorced my 1st Mrs (after a long 18 month marriage - God was it a long 18 months!!!!) I bought a Thai restaurant (actually I bought a Green Grocers and made a Thai Restaurant) and the spark rekindled. With my Thai Business partner and his wife, we took vacations in Thailand (me alone as my GF was an Australian Filipino at the time and saved her holiday to go home (Philippines not Oz-?) instead - though I went with her a few times). When the GF returned to Phi for good and I had sold the Restaurant, it wasn't long before Thailand came calling. Ended up marrying a Thai girl - niece of my ex-business partner's wife after a two year courtship (traditional with chaperone). We lived in the UK for ten years.

I think I was always looking to leave the UK. I even tried to 'invent abroad' in the UK with my exotic GFs and friends (nearly all my UK friends are Thai, Indian or some other ethinicity other than white, or they are married to someone that is - dunno why though, just happened that way) and my on-the-side business (Thai Restaurant).

Is the grass green - to me, even with all it foibles (spelling?) it definitely is - to me the UK was not green, but grey and getting greyer by the day.

I do miss the green views of Kent (from my home there) and the beautiful birds that nested and visited my garden, but I still have my memories and that's enough for me.

Edited June 10, 2008 by wolf5370