Testing Your Thai Lady

[henryalleman]

I think there a lot of frustrated losers given comments on this topic.

Get a live guy's. Better you sit behind your PC and take some subscription on some adult website and go 1,2,3 other hand, and stop bashing Thai women, because you clearly don't have the maturity to have a grown up relationship with them.

How long have you lived in Thailand, not long by the tone of your comment?

Do you really live here?

married already 33 years with a Thai spouse, and have some very close relationships with others . And spend the last years about 3 months a year in LOS. But never visit Pattaya or tourist places like those. But I know Udon, Korat, Khon Kaen and Nongkai rather good. Normally I stay in Nakhon Sawan(had a house there for 20 years) and Bangkok. So I presume I have some knowledge about Thai culture and women. Do notice I wrote women not girls.

[Geekfreaklover]

I think there a lot of frustrated losers given comments on this topic.

Get a live guy's. Better you sit behind your PC and take some subscription on some adult website and go 1,2,3 other hand, and stop bashing Thai women, because you clearly don't have the maturity to have a grown up relationship with them.

How long have you lived in Thailand, not long by the tone of your comment?

Do you really live here?

married already 33 years with a Thai spouse, and have some very close relationships with others . And spend the last years about 3 months a year in LOS. But never visit Pattaya or tourist places like those. But I know Udon, Korat, Khon Kaen and Nongkai rather good. Normally I stay in Nakhon Sawan(had a house there for 20 years) and Bangkok. So I presume I have some knowledge about Thai culture and women. Do notice I wrote women not girls.

Nice to hear. 33 years marriage under the belt (no wonder you don't refer to her as a girl) and come for a holiday each year. Well done. I think you have no reason to test your good lady!! It's nice to hear a success story with so many doubters around !

Edited January 8, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[Shotime]

I think there a lot of frustrated losers given comments on this topic.

Get a live guy's. Better you sit behind your PC and take some subscription on some adult website and go 1,2,3 other hand, and stop bashing Thai women, because you clearly don't have the maturity to have a grown up relationship with them.

You're my hero, but I don't think a lot of people are bashing Thai women. At least not anymore so than women in general. I've read threads and blogs about guys who were very angry about what happened to them here in LOS. Maybe a few jokes about "testing" the ladies, but not a lot of anger. You're very lucky. Not sure how old you are, or of you've been married before, or what you're looking for, but you're very fortunate.

[henryalleman]

I think there a lot of frustrated losers given comments on this topic.

Get a live guy's. Better you sit behind your PC and take some subscription on some adult website and go 1,2,3 other hand, and stop bashing Thai women, because you clearly don't have the maturity to have a grown up relationship with them.

You're my hero, but I don't think a lot of people are bashing Thai women. At least not anymore so than women in general. I've read threads and blogs about guys who were very angry about what happened to them here in LOS. Maybe a few jokes about "testing" the ladies, but not a lot of anger. You're very lucky. Not sure how old you are, or of you've been married before, or what you're looking for, but you're very fortunate.

Yes I know I'm very fortunate, but I know dozens of others who are very fortunate like me also.

All of them are married 20 years and over with Thai ladies.

And I know also quit a few hard working honest SINGLE Thai women in my home town, many of them from Isan and former Pattaya night life girls.

Of course I know some the other kind also, but they are a very small minority, those are the ones who you can find in Thai pubs and have a different boy friend every 3 months.

In those pubs you only can find some newcomers who just married, and their new greenhorn husband like she feel at home and see some Thai people, but after a few months they stop to go, because they only see cheating and deception, because they are easy victims for the female Thai sharks who lure for their victims. Many of the newbies loose a lot of money to them.

Every Thai women know this sharks and they are outcasts in the Thai community.

In General most of Thai women avoid this kind of pubs or clubs.

[jtp]

I think there a lot of frustrated losers given comments on this topic.

Get a live guy's. Better you sit behind your PC and take some subscription on some adult website and go 1,2,3 other hand, and stop bashing Thai women, because you clearly don't have the maturity to have a grown up relationship with them.

How long have you lived in Thailand, not long by the tone of your comment?

Do you really live here?

Just ignore this guy.If you read through his previous posts,you will see he gets off on belittleing everybody he can,so he can somehow feel important..If you look up "Troll wikipedia",you will see a picture of GungaDin....

[GungaDin]

Yes, please ignore me.

[Neeranam]

In General most of Thai women avoid this kind of pubs or clubs.

Because they've already reeled one in.

If you catch a big fish, you don't carry on fishing.

If you catch a minnow, you keep throwing the bait out.

Edited January 8, 2009 by Neeranam

[henryalleman]

In General most of Thai women avoid this kind of pubs or clubs.

Because they've already reeled one in.

If you catch a big fish, you don't carry on fishing.

If you catch a minnow, you keep throwing the bait out.

I think you must have a lot of disappointments in your life to make such comments or are you just a misanthrope by nature.

[Miserere]

I first became suspicious when I discovered my wife had a large penis.

[GungaDin]

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?s=...t&p=2455095

[MiG16]

I think up until recently the thread was somewhat ok

so lets keep it that way if you really feel the need to carry on this discussion.

personal opinion - many have said this - if you feel the need to 'test' then clearly the trust has left your relationship. if thats the case i dont see how you can continue to have a healthy relationship in that situation. and if you feel the need to leave 1000 baht..which by any standard is not a lot of money...unless you are talking about someone completely broke and totally bankrupt and starving. i expect that anyone in a relationship wouldnt leave their partners to go starving, so I would say its a bit silly to expect she/he would steal your 1000 baht and risk ruining the relationship where you are at least possibly providing him/her with food and shelter?

[Martian]

No one should never, ever, ever trust another human being 100% period. It doesn't matter their gender, age, nationality, religion or relationship to you. All human beings are fallible, especially in the trust and honesty area. Some you can trust much more than others but one should always have their eyes open and be responsible for their own well being whether it is emotional, physical, financial or other. It is up to you to decide at which level you will trust each person in your life but never 100%.

Regards,

Martian

[Wiresok]

I think you have a better chance if you are together, rather than a long distance relationship.

I think if you havn't married them in that time that spooks them and so they wander.

Also take a look at "stickman bangkok" (google it ), and some of the tragic stories on there.

However if you are unsure its vital to get yourself tested, you could already be carrying something.

[henryalleman]

I think there a lot of frustrated losers given comments on this topic.

Get a live guy's. Better you sit behind your PC and take some subscription on some adult website and go 1,2,3 other hand, and stop bashing Thai women, because you clearly don't have the maturity to have a grown up relationship with them.

You're my hero, but I don't think a lot of people are bashing Thai women. At least not anymore so than women in general. I've read threads and blogs about guys who were very angry about what happened to them here in LOS. Maybe a few jokes about "testing" the ladies, but not a lot of anger. You're very lucky. Not sure how old you are, or of you've been married before, or what you're looking for, but you're very fortunate.

had a few relationships with European women before I married my present wife, I was 27, I just got 60 last November. My wife was a widow with 3 children. I refused to took them to Europe because i thought they had a better future in Thailand. My wife didn't agree and we had big arguments about it. At one moment almost divorced. But now she agrees that I made the correct decision. All three have an University degree The first son is civil servant grade 8 , the youngest son is higher management(director of one division) in one of the biggest companies in Thailand. Both of them are real family men, because they know the importance of family. Their wives work also. The daughter(unmarried) is also higher management. I have 2 grandsons who go to university this moment, and 1 granddaughter in a private high school and one grandson in a private lower school.

My wife and I worked almost 24/7 to give the children a good future. May not forget that 30 years ago there was no Internet, and telephone calls to Thailand where expensive like hel_l. My wife raised her children by daily letters. And they didn't stay with family, they lived together in a small apartment in Bangkok. They where age 13-15-17. She went the first time back home after 5 years.

My wife went back to Thailand for the first time after 5 years, because we didn't have the money to spare, I didn't took a vacation for more than 20 years; so I saw the kids for the first time after 20 years. And I'm a very lucky and proud man because they love there mother and realise what sacrifices she make for them, and they are very protective and respectful towards me.

So when I read all the stories about cheating Thai women, its feel like an insult to my wife, and the numerous honest hard working Thai women who work side by side with their husband for a better future.

And now that the winter of our lives is near we can at last enjoy the fruit of our labour. We are not rich but financially independent and we don't have to say thank you to anybody, and can look everybody straight in the eyes.

BTW I had may encounters in my live with many kind of women, but non of them cheat me or even try to cheat me, because the knew it was not possible. That's why I believe if a man is cheated by a woman its because they like to be cheated.

The only intention of this reply is to show that not all is bad, there are many Foreigners like me who have good wives and good marriages.

So all the ones who had bad experiences should look first to themselves before they blame somebody else. Did they not act like a big spender, and by doing so give a total wrong impression, with the result that they are an easy victim for an experienced gold digger.

Should always keep in mind that a tiger is a very beautiful animal, but its always dangerous to let him come too close. So if you don't know how to handle a tiger you better go to the fish tank , and go home afterwords, less expensive and less problems.

[bonobo]

This thread has had a long life with many different points of view expressed.  Well, here are a few more views:

There are women from all cultures who can't be trusted to have a couple's best interests at heart, just as there are men from all cultures the same. The big difference is that when two people from different cultures meet, the language differences and lack of common cultural idiosyncrasies makes it more difficult for people to pick up on clues as to their partner's true goals.  Men from the UK can easily pick up the telltale clues from an English women that she might be a golddigger and quickly dismiss her, but they do not understand the Thai-equivilant clues of the same thing when they meet a quiet young woman from Korat.  A Thai woman who can see that a Thai man is prone to multiple sex partners outside of the relationship may not see the signs that her new American boyfriend has his own signs that he is not monogamous.

Consequently, I think it is pretty easy for a farang/Thai relationship to end up on rocky ground. It is harder for a Thai and a foreigner (you can say the same about people from any two different cultures) to have a good clear picture of their prospective partner before they commit to each other. Harder does not mean impossible, though. For people who take their time in developing a relationship, who are open-minded to other cultures, who try to be honest about their feelings, well, marrying a person from another culture can be fascinating and enriching.

It does seem a shame that anyone would want to "test" their Thai love interest. (It seems a shame that people in the west write up pre-nuptials, but in retrospect, I wish I had done that before I got married--I would be better off now if I had.) But when we do have at least some degree of cultural blinders on, well, then perhaps some degree of testing might help a person gather a more full picture of their person in whom they are interested.

Remember, though, that testing can go both ways.  I know of at least two Thai women who were not sure of their farang boyfriends' fidelity, so both had friends approach them with feigned interest. One guy failed (although she took him back only to leave him again a year later) and one passed (and they are now married with a child on the way.) 

[TAWP]

It was originally in response to TAWP posting that men were inherently unfaithful. I was trying to make the point that men are no more inherently unfaithful than women.

As a note, my reply was in a response to if men shouldn't be tested too, which I agreed upon.

So it doesn't imply that woman doesn't cheat - as this thread is about it - but that men do and testing them can be a wise idea too.

And also, since I am a man [yeah-yeah] I can only write about what I know from me and friends.

[TAWP]

and ohhh....for the record - I have nothing against older men, or younger girls for that matter

How about younger men that aren't afraid of an older woman?

not sure what your point is

are you suggesting Im an older woman??

Well, no, only that I am young.

(And I needed to use the same words you used to invert the setup in the sentence. )

[damian5000]

in my experience, 80% of the guys complaining about bad thai women are drunks and bums in many senses of the word...

if your thai gf is poor...there's no doubt about it that she's playing you for financial support...then again, what are you doing with someone 20 years younger and leagues better looking than you? you're using her for something to...don't kid yourself... it doesn't mean there's not love and caring there, but do you really think she's looking only for your penis and your company? hahaha...

in my experience, women from the country...or women who have completed university and have an actual career are the only ones you can "trust", and i'm not saying 100% of the time...just a better chance you'll find a "good" one in one of these 2 groups of thai ladies.

it's this way all around the world... women want a man who can support a family....so find one that can't expect so much from you, but you already know the deal that you'll be "helping" with things then (women fresh from the country), or women that have their own money... but then they're somewhat westernized...and more independant...

there are good girls out there...use your instincts...if something doesn't feel quite right, it probably isn't.

[Maigo6]

in my experience, women from the country...or women who have completed university and have an actual career are the only ones you can "trust", and i'm not saying 100% of the time...just a better chance you'll find a "good" one in one of these 2 groups of thai ladies.

Good and bad everywhere damian.

It's much harder for any Thai women to get a Farang that she can trust.

Edited January 9, 2009 by Maigo6

[damian5000]

in my experience, women from the country...or women who have completed university and have an actual career are the only ones you can "trust", and i'm not saying 100% of the time...just a better chance you'll find a "good" one in one of these 2 groups of thai ladies.

Good and bad everywhere damian.

It's much harder for any Thai women to get a Farang that she can trust.

the first statement...i completely agree with... but there are a higher % of bad in harlem than in manhattan...get my drift?

as far as the 2nd statement....i think you should re read my post...i agree somewhat...most farang complaining about thai women cheating them aren't exactly the cream of the crop westerners... but HARDER for thai women to get a farang she can trust than a farang to find a thai woman he can trust?? i'm not sure i agree there.... i think both have to do some serious searching to find a good and decent partner.

Edited January 9, 2009 by damian5000

[Maigo6]

in my experience, women from the country...or women who have completed university and have an actual career are the only ones you can "trust", and i'm not saying 100% of the time...just a better chance you'll find a "good" one in one of these 2 groups of thai ladies.

Good and bad everywhere damian.

It's much harder for any Thai women to get a Farang that she can trust.

the first statement...i completely agree with... but there are a higher % of bad in harlem than in manhattan...get my drift?

as far as the 2nd statement....i think you should re read my post...i agree somewhat...most farang complaining about thai women cheating them aren't exactly the cream of the crop westerners... but HARDER for thai women to get a farang she can trust than a farang to find a thai woman he can trust?? i'm not sure i agree there.... i think both have to do some serious searching to find a good and decent partner.

Most of the guys that I know as long term expats are always cheating on their wives at any opportunity, while the wife is at home looking after the kids or cleaning the house.

Mind you, these guys live in Pattaya, so........

Out of Pattaya area it's completely different as the chances of getting caught are very high, especially if you live in Isaan.

[damian5000]

in my experience, women from the country...or women who have completed university and have an actual career are the only ones you can "trust", and i'm not saying 100% of the time...just a better chance you'll find a "good" one in one of these 2 groups of thai ladies.

Good and bad everywhere damian.

It's much harder for any Thai women to get a Farang that she can trust.

the first statement...i completely agree with... but there are a higher % of bad in harlem than in manhattan...get my drift?

as far as the 2nd statement....i think you should re read my post...i agree somewhat...most farang complaining about thai women cheating them aren't exactly the cream of the crop westerners... but HARDER for thai women to get a farang she can trust than a farang to find a thai woman he can trust?? i'm not sure i agree there.... i think both have to do some serious searching to find a good and decent partner.

Most of the guys that I know as long term expats are always cheating on their wives at any opportunity, while the wife is at home looking after the kids or cleaning the house.

Mind you, these guys live in Pattaya, so........

Out of Pattaya area it's completely different as the chances of getting caught are very high, especially if you live in Isaan.

i think there are just as many, if not more thai girls calling "kiiks" and receiving money and flopping around and 90% of the time not doing what they say they're doing than there are expats doing wrong...i'm not supporting these guys man...i'm just saying it's difficult whether you're thai or farang to find a decent partner in this country...partially because the majority of thai women that have anything to do with farang other than businesswise are relatively poor as dirt, and a good majority of farang that come to stay here "long term" are deviant, loser, drunks...

not that i'm any better ... haha...

Edited January 9, 2009 by damian5000

[Maigo6]

the majority of thai women that have anything to do with farang other than businesswise are relatively poor as dirt, and a good majority of farang that come to stay here "long term" are deviant, loser, drunks...

A perfect match then ?

[damian6000]

the majority of thai women that have anything to do with farang other than businesswise are relatively poor as dirt, and a good majority of farang that come to stay here "long term" are deviant, loser, drunks...

A perfect match then ?

haha... just what i was thinkin'...

[Wiresok]

I think there a lot of frustrated losers given comments on this topic.

Get a live guy's. Better you sit behind your PC and take some subscription on some adult website and go 1,2,3 other hand, and stop bashing Thai women, because you clearly don't have the maturity to have a grown up relationship with them.

LOL

From your own testimonials here, sounds like its you been behind the PC 33 years.

Old quotation for you " if the cap fits- wear it ".

[venturalaw]

the majority of thai women that have anything to do with farang other than businesswise are relatively poor as dirt, and a good majority of farang that come to stay here "long term" are deviant, loser, drunks...

A perfect match then ?

haha... just what i was thinkin'...

Some are, some aren't. Been married to two different (completely) Thai women. The 1st wanted to come to the US. The second (and current) wanted to stay in Thailand. The 1st took off, after we were married and living in California, as soon as she discovered she was pregnant Many many $1,000s later, I started traveling to Thailand again - mostly because although the 1st. was one of the worst people I had ever met, I had farang friends happily married to Thai. Plus, it was not possible that I could have any worse luck than I experienced with the first.

The second (and last) is absolutely amazing. I look at it as if I had not met the first (she talked me into traveling to Thailand for the first time), I never would have met the second. Therefore, although extremely difficult, it was well worth it. For me, the key is - are they anxious to leave Thailand. If so, think twice.

[tmd5855]

We're talking tests?

Here's a winner - tell her you're chronically ill and can't earn any more, the budget will have to be cut to the bare minmum.

If she's still with you after, say 3 months.........................................

Good one to do, in my case it was genuine.

Wife (UK) and I had been seperated for a couple of years so went back the UK infrequently. Still paid all household expenses for her plus an allowance until the house was sold and she could keep all the proceeds, everything had been agreed.

Well she decided to report my credit/debit cards as stolen and I was in hospital (Actually offshore Indonesia) No ATM would work and had to borrow money to get home (Pattaya). She later said she was drunk and could not remember doing it, denied it was her at first

Had to tell the GF I had no money, company flew me back to the UK as per leave agreement, where it was all sorted.

Arrived back in Pattaya nine days later to find all her belongings and mine all packed? ? ? ? ?

She said "We move back Sia Khao, Mama and Papa take care us".

To me the cards were a minor matter. To her it was "No more money" that was so serious, her family were rallying around to help.

Any doubts I had vanished, took a while to explain I had money, just could not get access to it at that time. What helped is that every leave the GF and I would go up country and stay with her parents for a week. Eating and sleeping in their home with the traditional amenities we all know of.

Still together and has total control of my salary, pays everything and saves every satang.

There are good ones out there, just as there are good farang ladies.

I met a bad farang, met a good Thai..................its luck

[Neeranam]

Most of the guys that I know as long term expats are always cheating on their wives at any opportunity, while the wife is at home looking after the kids or cleaning the house.

Mind you, these guys live in Pattaya, so........ rolleyes.gif

Are any of these guys married to a woman who didn't go to Pattaya to sell herself?

I find it strange that a normal Thai woman would choseto live in Pattaya with a cheating husband.

[tmd5855]

Jeez a lot of savage attacks with handbags, well if the dummy fits as they say.

So the ex pats that live in Pattaya are bloated, fat, red deviants? Well I feel bloated after a meal, red after lying out under the sun too long..........as for being a deviant I do like ladies in nice, feminine lingerie .

Most of the expats I meet, see and work with, out here in Asia came because of work, engineering, oil related etc.

Tend to be well educated (Intelligent, thats another matter) but are certainly not naive or stupid by going with a "Dirt poor Issan girl".

Most are in stable long term relationships, some are married.

I can count on one hand those that have cheated. My hand, not one of the fingers

Some of the comments on Thai Visa beggars belief.

"I am so right" "No, I am not sanctimonious" plus a lot of other hard fast opinions, no doubt forged by personal experience. Personal views are personal, not a way of life others should follow.

Appears that a lot of posters hate Thai woman and are angry if an Ex-pat has a successful relationship with one.

Anyone from Pattaya or who can visit.

If he/they want to meet an expat in a long term, stable and content relationship with a Thai woman...PM me and we can meet?

[tmd5855]

I do appreciate that these things happen but I am also certain there are many more successful marriages than unsuccessful and more farangs living happily with their Thai ladies than there are failures of marriages.

Sometimes when I read these sites I think we and almost all our friends married to Thais must be living in some other dimension. In many years I have seen only two marriages out of dozens break up over what the writers on the net assure me is the fate of anyone in a relationship with a Thai.

But it is a relevant question...

What happens to an avarage Thai/Farang marage when (or if) the Farang falls on hard times?

It happens all to often and to tell you the truth...it's something that is on my mind at the moment too

Want to know???????????

This is only my personal experience and only two instances one a friend.

He is married to a stunner for the past 5 years. His bar went tits up so his wife sold all her gold to keep him going. He had no income she kept him going when the prophets of doom were saying give a few more days, she will soon be gone looking for a rich farang. Well two years later it has came full circle, still together and he is back on his feet financially. Openly admits he thought she would go when the hard times hit. Their marriage is rock solid.

The other experience is mine, see earlier posts. Still together and could not wish for better. She has passed all the accidental tests with flying colours.