What Most, If Not All, Farang Cannot Give A Thai Girl

[RakJungTorlae]

In my 8 years of being here I have made 1 Thai friend (Excluding my wife), and he has helped me on ways that I will not repeat in republic, having really put his neck and or reputation on the line for me.

With regards to what farangs can offer Thai girls that Thai men can't: Well asides from considering myself to be a moral person (Not suggesting that Thai men aren't), I think that maybe I offer my wife something 'different'.

Farang Hotdog!!!!!!!!!

[Moonrakers]

In my 8 years of being here I have made 1 Thai friend (Excluding my wife), and he has helped me on ways that I will not repeat in republic, having really put his neck and or reputation on the line for me.

With regards to what farangs can offer Thai girls that Thai men can't: Well asides from considering myself to be a moral person (Not suggesting that Thai men aren't), I think that maybe I offer my wife something 'different'.

Farang Hotdog!!!!!!!!!

I held back from that remark myself..

What I am wondering now though is how I managed to type "republic" instead of "Public"

Edited July 3, 2008 by globalj

[intumult]

"What Most, If Not All, Farang Cannot Give A Thai Girl"

An itsy-bitsy teenie weenie ?

Ham Leck? LOL

[intumult]

As to Thai male friends. I have one. He is great.

Helped with the electric / cable tv installation / i-net installation / translates for me / got me a dam_n good lawyer / and we go drinking together where he often asks the ladies if they like Farang

What does he get out of it? A few sodas, a Farang friend, Kudos of being with and of being a friend of a Farang???, and a friend in return when he also needs one. He has also asked me to help him deliver leaflets when he runs as a local politician in his local village later this year. And of course I will help.

[kiakaha]

Females are social creatures and almost all care about having a social network. So... a farang can be handsome, rich, smart etc, but he is almost never the life of the party, and he very rarely has many true Thai friends who are not just being nice to him but actually understand and respect him. Obviously, there are many Thais who have lived overseas, speak fluent english, so this will be easier if you are apart of a more inter social crowd.

Now I have read many posts on the internet of Farang claiming to have many close Thai friends who are like their brother, so perhaps this is the case, but I have never witnessed it in real life. As my Thai language gets better, I do not really feel like I am making more or truer friends. Everyone is of course nice to me and I am happy but I do feel that almost all Thai women, the exception being those who have spent time overseas, would perfer a Thai man (assuming he was as equally rich, handsome, and smart as me) over me.

This does not really bother me. Its the way it is, but I do think it sheds light on the age old question "Why don't smart, educated Thai girls from good familes date farang?"... The answer, imo, is not that they will upset their parents or that they don't want to be mistaken for a lady of the night, but rather that farang do not offer them a partner in a social network: we are boring to take on double dates.

is this the point of view of a "tourist"/"newbie" or of someone who lives, works in thailand for 10, 15+ years and is fluent in thai ?

through first hand experience over many many years, I can't agree with you.

[NoSpeakIt]

well whatever you do, please don't tell me why you disagree as that might actually be useful. instead, please continue to make one line posts which add nothing to the discussion.

Edited July 3, 2008 by NoSpeakIt

[kiakaha]

well whatever you do, please don't tell me why you disagree as that might actually be useful. instead, please continue to make one line posts which add nothing to the discussion.

my pleasure.

[teacup]

"Why don't smart, educated Thai girls from good familes date farang?"...

Because generally "money" is not just the only issue for these girls (for some of you, it's hard to believe this), it's much more complex than that. Remember these girls have good/higher education or good job or both, and most of them came from middle to quite wealthy background also.

It’s not because they don’t like farangs but the issues here have to do with availability of the so called “good farang” (in their eyes) and compatibility issue.

Not that much to be desired by looking at the availability of the farang pool here, and most of these so called hi-so and/or educated girls are extremely selective in their choice of partner. They don’t frequent bars or pubs where the majority of farangs are at. Many of these girls take education seriously and it’s difficult to find a farang partner here in Thailand that has the same or higher education than them. If they end up married to one, it’s usually they have met each other while doing the study oversea, and also be similar in age and background.

These girls do care very much what their family, friends, and social networks will think of their partner. So it’s understandable for these girls to set a higher standard/requirement in their choice of partner, would take time to cultivating the relationship, and to see if compatibility will become an issue or not. And this can only be accomplished by doing some serious/long term dating - get to know each other and both sides of family better before marriage. Unlike many farangs here in Thailand, they want an instant gratification in everything they do here in Thailand and don’t care that much about taking a long approach in cultivating a relationship.

Yes, it’s true they would rather marry with a thai guy of the same qualification as farangs. Many of them it just boils down to culture thing and the family approval.

Just a short summary from my own experience and obsevations

Edited July 3, 2008 by teacup

[GaiYaang]

Females are social creatures and almost all care about having a social network. So... a farang can be handsome, rich, smart etc, but he is almost never the life of the party, and he very rarely has many true Thai friends who are not just being nice to him but actually understand and respect him. Obviously, there are many Thais who have lived overseas, speak fluent english, so this will be easier if you are apart of a more inter social crowd.

Now I have read many posts on the internet of Farang claiming to have many close Thai friends who are like their brother, so perhaps this is the case, but I have never witnessed it in real life. As my Thai language gets better, I do not really feel like I am making more or truer friends. Everyone is of course nice to me and I am happy but I do feel that almost all Thai women, the exception being those who have spent time overseas, would perfer a Thai man (assuming he was as equally rich, handsome, and smart as me) over me.

This does not really bother me. Its the way it is, but I do think it sheds light on the age old question "Why don't smart, educated Thai girls from good familes date farang?"... The answer, imo, is not that they will upset their parents or that they don't want to be mistaken for a lady of the night, but rather that farang do not offer them a partner in a social network: we are boring to take on double dates.

From reading this thread a few said they had 0-1 Thai friend. Zero ? Don't know if everyone are like that, and nothing wrong with that.

How about, just may be some farangs don't feel like having Thai friends, not that they hate Thais. If a group of Thai ask you to hang out with them. How long will you last if you have the following feeling. The feeling of being out number, akward, uncomfortable, can't speak Thai, are they talking about me, I end up paying when they ask me out, ect.

Would you rather stay home than go out ? Better off by yourself. I known a few that been in that situations.

May be less is better.

[sbk]

Friendship among Thais that I know is a very different thing than among westerners, at least in my experience and stories my husband has related to me.

From what I have seen, the Thai people I know make their very close friends very young, everyone else after that is a friendly acquaintance but not necessarily someone they trust enough to turn to in a crunch.

So, does that mean that also applies to spouses? I don't know, I don't think so but it could depend on the person and the relationship.

[boiledegg]

All this hi-so educated unavailable Thai girl <deleted>, i could guarantee that i or any reasonably good-looking well dressed farang under the age of 35 could go to a bar in LOS and pull some so called upmarket bird for a bit of how’s your father, the same as i could with some sterile bit of middle class skirt in England (or at least i could when i tried)

After meeting these super intelligent Uni educated Thais and English folk im of the opinion that i didn’t miss out on too much by not spending 3 years and 40,000GBP plagiarising Marx and similar social scientists, i read some books and formed my own opinions, not ones to get an A Star of a wacky liberal never worked in the real world Uni teacher.

And no i couldn’t offer her a group of Thai friends as im a tourist/ newbie/ uneducated/ cant speak Thai/ never read lonely planet/ like Pattaya/ and like to stick to my own kind of guy.

Besides i prefer a bird to go and do her thing so i can go out and have a laugh with the boys!

Edited July 3, 2008 by boiledegg

[Heng]

"Why don't smart, educated Thai girls from good familes date farang?"...

Because generally "money" is not just the only issue for these girls (for some of you, it's hard to believe this), it's much more complex than that. Remember these girls have good/higher education or good job or both, and most of them came from middle to quite wealthy background also.

It’s not because they don’t like farangs but the issues here have to do with availability of the so called “good farang” (in their eyes) and compatibility issue.

Not that much to be desired by looking at the availability of the farang pool here, and most of these so called hi-so and/or educated girls are extremely selective in their choice of partner. They don’t frequent bars or pubs where the majority of farangs are at. Many of these girls take education seriously and it’s difficult to find a farang partner here in Thailand that has the same or higher education than them. If they end up married to one, it’s usually they have met each other while doing the study oversea, and also be similar in age and background.

These girls do care very much what their family, friends, and social networks will think of their partner. So it’s understandable for these girls to set a higher standard/requirement in their choice of partner, would take time to cultivating the relationship, and to see if compatibility will become an issue or not. And this can only be accomplished by doing some serious/long term dating - get to know each other and both sides of family better before marriage. Unlike many farangs here in Thailand, they want an instant gratification in everything they do here in Thailand and don’t care that much about taking a long approach in cultivating a relationship.

Yes, it’s true they would rather marry with a thai guy of the same qualification as farangs. Many of them it just boils down to culture thing and the family approval.

Just a short summary from my own experience and obsevations

Pretty straight up summary, that I'm sure a lot of folks around here will find difficult to accept... or at least will try to rationalize away.

Again, it's not like some kind of huge mystery. A significant part of it is that a good majority of farangs also "settle" (and don't mean that in a condescending way) for the type of relationship where you can go from first meeting to marriage well within a year and often within a few to several months. As far as this topic is concerned, such behaviour is obviously going to have some "limiting" options in terms of who you end up with.

[Heng]

It's hardly some kind of mystery that needs unravelling. Opposites attract, but like in many places in the world, most people choose those who they have many things in common with.

Well, nobody around here agrees with you, or my, apparently obvious point, I guess.

What my farang friends typically do is try to focus on the positive aspects of the gal (or guy) or relationship in question, and at worst for some folks they'll try to focus on the negatives of Thai society, culture, etc. and how dating a person with um, questionable work history or let's say substantially inferior socio-economic background to oneself (and and don't mean inferior in a bad way, just matter of fact wise in terms of total formal education, financial base, and so forth) is actually better. Kind of like what a jeweler does. Some will focus on the positives of the gem in question while some marketplace type jewelers will focus on how bad other people's gems are, how slow the market is,.... in comparison.

[NoSpeakIt]

hi Heng, how many farang do you know who have a very attractive and very well educated (in your eyes) Thai wife who they met in Thailand?

[NoSpeakIt]

"All this hi-so educated unavailable Thai girl <deleted>, i could guarantee that i or any reasonably good-looking well dressed farang under the age of 35 could go to a bar in LOS and pull some so called upmarket bird for a bit of how’s your father"

yes, but this was not my point really. i was not talking about one night stands which are different.

in a relationship with a Thai girl, I think there will be a certain amount of resentment towards you for not being Thai. The same kind of resentment you might have towards her for having a small breast size. You live with it and it probably doesnt bother you too much, but youd prefer something else if you had the choice.

btw, arent all the fluent farang about 50? what are you even doing commenting on a thread about dating? do you chaperon your gf's/wive's parties?

[Heng]

hi Heng, how many farang do you know who have a very attractive and very well educated (in your eyes) Thai wife who they met in Thailand?

Off hand, I'd say 5 or 6. And a couple who have Thai husbands. It happens. I don't think anyone here is saying there's an air tight rule or anything.

Like we all pretty much well know though -but some don't like to accept for whatever reason-, they are easily outnumbered by those who are in relationships where there is a huge gap in "social" attractiveness, and that's even counting folks who many would think would have no reason (other than whatever personal reasons they may have) to be in such situations.

[sbk]

hi Heng, how many farang do you know who have a very attractive and very well educated (in your eyes) Thai wife who they met in Thailand?

I know one. Actually, come to think of it, I know a couple. Not hi-so by Bangkok standards but university educated and come from well-to-do landowning families on the island I live on.

[bonobo]

There is one of the little notes on National Geographic Channel that a man will have 17 friends when he is 20, but 3 when he is 40. That is about right for me.

I have two pretty close American friends back in the US. I have on English friend. But my best friends are two Thai men and one of their wives. I am with one Thai friend right now at Narita taking his son to the US for some sort of Youth Leadership Conference. These three Thais are truly great friends, and I would do anything for them.

They are hiso (but very humble). Most Thai women I have dated have been university grads working as accountants, nurses, etc. And most feel very uncomfortable with my friends, and when we have a dinner party or such, if they come, they are quiet and don't say much. So they realy don' like the Thai social scene of which I am a part.

[jamesthefirst]

Females are social creatures and almost all care about having a social network. So... a farang can be handsome, rich, smart etc, but he is almost never the life of the party, and he very rarely has many true Thai friends who are not just being nice to him but actually understand and respect him. Obviously, there are many Thais who have lived overseas, speak fluent english, so this will be easier if you are apart of a more inter social crowd.

Now I have read many posts on the internet of Farang claiming to have many close Thai friends who are like their brother, so perhaps this is the case, but I have never witnessed it in real life. As my Thai language gets better, I do not really feel like I am making more or truer friends. Everyone is of course nice to me and I am happy but I do feel that almost all Thai women, the exception being those who have spent time overseas, would perfer a Thai man (assuming he was as equally rich, handsome, and smart as me) over me.

This does not really bother me. Its the way it is, but I do think it sheds light on the age old question "Why don't smart, educated Thai girls from good familes date farang?"... The answer, imo, is not that they will upset their parents or that they don't want to be mistaken for a lady of the night, but rather that farang do not offer them a partner in a social network: we are boring to take on double dates.

My best friend in the world is my Thai wife and frankly that's the only one I want. I have known several Thai blokes for over the decade I have been here who are nice enough but honestly I would not want to get any closer to them than a beer together every so often.

Saying that though I prefer drinking with Thais to farangs.

[wintermute]

The answer is obvious look at the average Farang here. He's either an ancient pensioner or a "tourist" here for some short time sanuk. That's the stereotype but it's true. The normal long term professionals (and by that I don't mean english teachers) are vastly outnumbered by the aforementioned. There aren't many jobs out there that would bring young good looking, well mannered, and educated professional westerners to Thailand.

So middle/upper middle class Thais don't have much exposure to normal high quality farang except for ones that have studied abroad. So in other words, the pool is really shallow so of course normal thai women will most likely choose to date thais. I'm sure they've seen the farang out there and i'm not surprised many women don't think it's appealing. Actually, it's not even speculation on my part. I mostly associate with middle to upper middle class thais and they all stick to their social group even if they have the mobility to date outside that.

I still find Thai society to be pretty open in this regard, try carrying on a relationship with a real middle/upper middle class S. Korean women in S. Korea, Japanese woman in Japan, or a Taiwanese woman in Taiwan. You will generally be regarded as pretty "third" class because economics doesn't play a factor in those countries.

Edited July 4, 2008 by wintermute

[kmart]

Females are social creatures and almost all care about having a social network. So... a farang can be handsome, rich, smart etc, but he is almost never the life of the party, and he very rarely has many true Thai friends who are not just being nice to him but actually understand and respect him. Obviously, there are many Thais who have lived overseas, speak fluent english, so this will be easier if you are apart of a more inter social crowd.

Now I have read many posts on the internet of Farang claiming to have many close Thai friends who are like their brother, so perhaps this is the case, but I have never witnessed it in real life. As my Thai language gets better, I do not really feel like I am making more or truer friends. Everyone is of course nice to me and I am happy but I do feel that almost all Thai women, the exception being those who have spent time overseas, would perfer a Thai man (assuming he was as equally rich, handsome, and smart as me) over me.

This does not really bother me. Its the way it is, but I do think it sheds light on the age old question "Why don't smart, educated Thai girls from good familes date farang?"... The answer, imo, is not that they will upset their parents or that they don't want to be mistaken for a lady of the night, but rather that farang do not offer them a partner in a social network: we are boring to take on double dates.

Ever considered a career as a motivational speaker?

[enyaw]

The answer is obvious look at the average Farang here. He's either an ancient pensioner or a "tourist" here for some short time sanuk.

So which one are you? An ancient pensioner or a sex tourist? Or are you Thai, I'm guessing you must be Thai?

[wintermute]

The answer is obvious look at the average Farang here. He's either an ancient pensioner or a "tourist" here for some short time sanuk.

So which one are you? An ancient pensioner or a sex tourist? Or are you Thai, I'm guessing you must be Thai?

No, i'm not Thai. I work for a company here how about you?

Don't be passive aggressive about your feelings you know I struck a nerve.

[enyaw]

The answer is obvious look at the average Farang here. He's either an ancient pensioner or a "tourist" here for some short time sanuk.

So which one are you? An ancient pensioner or a sex tourist? Or are you Thai, I'm guessing you must be Thai?

No, i'm not Thai. I work for a company here how about you?

Don't be passive aggressive about your feelings you know I struck a nerve.

I'm not Thai either just an ancient sex tourist and only travel in the winter.

[wintermute]

The answer is obvious look at the average Farang here. He's either an ancient pensioner or a "tourist" here for some short time sanuk.

So which one are you? An ancient pensioner or a sex tourist? Or are you Thai, I'm guessing you must be Thai?

No, i'm not Thai. I work for a company here how about you?

Don't be passive aggressive about your feelings you know I struck a nerve.

I'm not Thai either just an ancient sex tourist and only travel in the winter.

At least you're honest.

For the record, I don't particularly care what people do here.

[NoSpeakIt]

lol i just noticed that there is a sin sot sticky.

lol...

my friends told me what to expect on this website....

[jukapot]

My posting will offend many, sorry - thats not my intention.

I would not want my daughter marring an expat in Thailand nor would she want to. She made her first trip back to Thailand after several decades and was disgusted by the conduct of the expats she met . As she put it "so many morally bankrupt alcoholics". From what I read on this forum, I tend to agree.

I would also like to point out that I have Lao and Thai friends for over 40 years and consider some of them to be very close friends indeed. Thank God several have made it to the states as refugees and we have remained in touch over the years. One of the highlights of my trip to Nongkhai next year will be to to search out and hopefully renew old friendships. The Lao and Thai can be wonder people and I cherish their friendships.

It was such an honor to have been at their weddings in Laos, been there when their children were born and now in the States even attended their children's weddings too. My friends are all Lao, Issan or Thais who I met in Laos.

Times have changed, we have land outside Nongkhai and intended to build and move in two years. I have friends there, its near my wife's village, and I love her family but we have put off moving because the attitude of the Thai towards round eyes is not really very good. I would not feel as comfortable downtown being mistaken for someone there for the sex industry. I suspect that many of those expats in Thailand who are living good moral lives are being pre judged by the locals - just as I am now prejudging many of you.

[bkkjames]

lol i just noticed that there is a sin sot sticky.

lol...

my friends told me what to expect on this website....

Your friends told u what to expect. What was that? Wisdom, truth, honesty, foresight? They were wrong.

[farang555]

i had a deep chat with a bargurl the other night as to why they choose to marry older farang as opposed to regular middle claas girls who have a choice of who they want to wed.

the answer was they the only ones who will take them and that the bgs preferred old as their expecteded life spans werent too long.

[teacup]

i had a deep chat with a bargurl the other night as to why they choose to marry older farang as opposed to regular middle claas girls who have a choice of who they want to wed.

the answer was they the only ones who will take them and that the bgs preferred old as their expecteded life spans werent too long.

Somehow the statement makes me quite sad, I don’t know why.

May be just a sympathy for some of these girls, I guess......... such a hard life, such a reality.......

Edited July 4, 2008 by teacup