Hi again ladies. I'm going to a Thai wedding on the weekend of November 21. The bride to be is the sister of a friend of mine. What would be an appropriate dress style? I know that Thais are fairly conservative in what they wear, so I want to be sure. The wedding will be in a hotel, so it will be air conditioned. I'm also curious about the gift. I'm half Italian, so we're used to giving cash as the gift, but I'm just not sure what the amount should be for Thais. Please help with your advice. Thanks.

All the weddings I've gone to have been on Phangan, but I'm sure it's pretty much the same all over. Slacks or a nice skirt with a cap sleeve always seems safe to me. As for the gift an envelope with some money in it is given to the people greeting you at the gate. You more than likely are being invited to the reception and not the ceremony, but you can check with your friend.

If you go on your own, don't be late. I arrived a half hour to a reception once and all of my friends had already come and gone. I'm sure others have more experience then me.

Natalie, where are you at? I live out in the country but I could tell you that you should wear a nice dress (or very nice slacks outfit). The fact that it is to be held in a hotel makes me suspect you should look as nice as possible.

As for amount, ask your friend how much he/she thinks you should give. If you are going as a couple (if it's more than friendship that is ) then the envelope giving should be up to him. Out here in the boonies we give between 200-500 but I would suspect at a fancy city event you give more.

Natalie, where are you at?

I'm in BKK. I think I'll go the route of the nice dress with short or 3/4 length sleeves. I already have some really nice black shoes to wear. So far I'm going solo , but I'll be sitting with a couple from Hong Kong. They're friends of the bride.

Thanks for the advice so far.

I dont know if anyones said but black is really bad luck to ware to a wedding, I'm not sure about white either as these are the two coulours people wear to funerals

Oh I dont think it matters about shoes though

Definitely not black to weddings. Nor anything to revealing or sexy either. 3/4 length sleeves sounds great, don't wear sleeveless or spaghetti straps tho. And nothing too short either. Sounds restricting but you don't want to look "sexy", people will judge you by the way you look and you don't want to look like a tacky farang.

To add to the sexy part, that's why I suggested a skirt. I bought, what I thought was a very modest dress a few years ago. It was form fitting, but came past my knees, was a capped sleeve and scoop neck.

When I went to go meet my Thai boyfriend, he had a small fit about the dress. So I'd suggest if you do wear a dress, make sure it's not too clingy.

I went to a colleagues wedding last year. A farang man marrying a Thai gal. I sat with a group of people from my school and each of us gave B500. All the Thai ladies wore their Thai silk suits and I wore a short sleeved, knee length dress.

Christ!...I've always given 1,000 baht...what a prat!

Black and/or white a bit dicey, but doesn't apply to shoes...I think.

The amount you give at a wedding is not the same for every guest nor for every wedding.

It relates to

* your status

* the status of the couple

* how close you are to the couple

So if you have a senior management position and were invited to your middle-class secretary's wedding, 1,000 baht would be too little.

For an English teacher going to a colleague's wedding 500 THB should be fine. For me, I think it's best to err on the side of giving too much if it's someone that you know well or work with. If you are a manager or in professional services 1,000 THB is quite normal.

BTW it's common to reuse the evelope that the wedding invite came in.

The amount you give at a wedding is not the same for every guest nor for every wedding.

It relates to

* your status

* the status of the couple

* how close you are to the couple

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* or if you are Scottish, Dutch or Yorkshire

So, how much are you suggesting a Scotswoman would donate?

I have a similar question. How much would you give if you are going to a HiSo wedding.....very, very wealthy people that are perhaps in the top 10 in BKK.

These people do not need money at all. If you are a token farung, what do you give?

I have a similar question. How much would you give if you are going to a HiSo wedding.....very, very wealthy people that are perhaps in the top 10 in BKK.

These people do not need money at all. If you are a token farung, what do you give?

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I think you would have to move in those sort of circles to have any idea, so that rules me out

Failing that I'd ask my mother-in-law how much they gave when they came to ours and add a little bit, thats how it usually works.

We had one man put 5,000 in, which was nice..... until he unvited us to his house opening party

I have a similar question. How much would you give if you are going to a HiSo wedding.....very, very wealthy people that are perhaps in the top 10 in BKK.

These people do not need money at all. If you are a token farung, what do you give?

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I think you would have to move in those sort of circles to have any idea, so that rules me out

Failing that I'd ask my mother-in-law how much they gave when they came to ours and add a little bit, thats how it usually works.

We had one man put 5,000 in, which was nice..... until he unvited us to his house opening party

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Not so much as moving in those circles, but a business relationship.definatly not me,but a friend of mine. He's lived here for many years,but is at a loss as what to give.What do you give to somebody that has everything in Thailand?

I have a similar question. How much would you give if you are going to a HiSo wedding.....very, very wealthy people that are perhaps in the top 10 in BKK.

These people do not need money at all. If you are a token farung, what do you give?

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For my cousin's wedding, my father put 5,000THB in the envelope. Might not be as wealthy. But at least he is first secretary for some affairs at the Royal Thai Embassy, DC. His father used to be an ambassador.

What do you give to somebody that has everything in Thailand?

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Penecilin?

So, how much are you suggesting a Scotswoman would donate? 

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Around this area, most wedding parties include a number of farangs. A concensus beforehand results in a set amount being determined for each farang. For a local village wedding we tend to agree on Bht 300.00; a more formal village wedding, maybe Bht 500.00; a hotel wedding probably Bht 1,000.00.

jayenram, you must be up near the Ampour,

Down in the south it is very austere, 20 baht is the normal size and it is an event to see 100 baht tied on.

I am going to my wife's sisters wedding in January, I am going to be generous and put on 100 baht.

Definitely not black to weddings. Nor anything to revealing or sexy either. 3/4 length sleeves sounds great, don't wear sleeveless or spaghetti straps tho. And nothing too short either. Sounds restricting but you don't want to look "sexy", people will judge you by the way you look and you don't want to look like a tacky farang. 

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My (Thai) stepmother said that it would be OK to wear some black to the wedding- so, say, trousers or a shirt- but not *all*, and this seemed to be the way the Thai people there dressed.