Can You Honestly Say Your Friends With A Thai?

[Tarqin]

Just had a major disappointment. The details are unimportant but I've just been forced to realise that a Thai woman I genuinely believed to be a friend (and who I am not screwing) was just in it for the money.

Which leads me to ask the question, apart from wives and relatives and maybe not even them, can you honestly truly say your friends with a Thai and if you were penniless they would still have anything to do with you?

[matte]

Just had a major disappointment. The details are unimportant but I've just been forced to realise that a Thai woman I genuinely believed to be a friend (and who I am not screwing) was just in it for the money.

Which leads me to ask the question, apart from wives and relatives and maybe not even them, can you honestly truly say your friends with a Thai and if you were penniless they would still have anything to do with you?

Yes. Without a doubt.

[sfokevin]

There once was a man walking along a road from one village to the next and he came across a monk... He asked the monk if the people in the village ahead were kind, honest and generous people?... The monk replied "How did you find the people in the village you just came from?"... He replied that they were terrible and only out to screw him!... The monk replied "You will find the people in the next village the same"...

Edited July 19, 2008 by sfokevin

[beachroadwalker]

I keep Thai men at a great distance. Not to turn this into a Thai bashing thread but I don't trust them. With women, I've been asked for loans dozens of times. I recently lent a girl-friend of 4 years 30,000 baht. I've given it to her not expecting it back ever although we agreed on December.

[thaiman]

Just had a major disappointment. The details are unimportant but I've just been forced to realise that a Thai woman I genuinely believed to be a friend (and who I am not screwing) was just in it for the money.

Which leads me to ask the question, apart from wives and relatives and maybe not even them, can you honestly truly say your friends with a Thai and if you were penniless they would still have anything to do with you?

Yes, but it's not a large percentage

[sweetchariot]

These kind of threads p1ss me off.

6 months ago I was waiting to sell a property in the UK, and ran out of cash. My g/f lent me the contents of her bank account (about 200k) and when that ran out her sister lent me another 50k. They had no proof of my dealings in the UK, but gave willingly as they trusted me.

A few months ago after paying them both back (with a little interest), I had a problem with a fellow farang. He is about 6'6" tall, and about 6'6" wide. After picking me up and throwing me in the ocean at Ban Sarae, I had no option but to phone my g/f and ask for a lift home.

A convoy turned up, her sister leading, ready to kick shit out of this farang who had disrespected me. Luckily he had already left, as I am sure I saw her brother with a gun.

Friends?

I think I have alot more friends here than I ever had back home.

[Kerryd]

I believe I can. Most of the people I associate with on a regular basis at home are Thai. Some are male, some are female.

Like anywhere, some people you can trust, some you can't. There are people in Canada I wouldn't lend a dollar to. Same in Thailand. In Canada I've lent hundreds and thousands of dollars to some people and they've paid me back (usually the exact amount lent).

I've lent some people money in Thailand (from 2,000 - 20,000 baht), and not only have I been paid back, they've usually added a little interest (which I usually turn down with a polite thank you, as I know they can use that little extra more than I can).

Most of the guys in the club I ride with are Thai (3 of 30+ are farang). Most are business owners and probably far better off than I am (financially at least).

My best friend is Thai, and in the couple of years I've known him, he has never asked me for a dime (or a satang). I trust him enough that I've left 500,000 baht in his care for awhile, and left my Harley with him when I went to work. When we go out somewhere (dining/drinking/whatever), it's usually a bit of a game to see who can pay the bin before the other (and we're not talking 2-300 baht bins).

My landlady and her family treat me like family, and always try to include me in whatever they are doing (thankfully they haven't tried dumping the kids on me when they take a trip some where. I think they know that would be big trouble, 'cause I'd probably spoil the snot right out of them in revenge !). They look after me, and I look out for them.

In my experience, my relationships in Thailand are not that different that they were in Canada. I think a lot of it has to do with you, and how you interact with the people around you. (That is a "generic" you, and not pointed at anyone specific).

[mikethevigoman]

I keep Thai men at a great distance. Not to turn this into a Thai bashing thread but I don't trust them. With women, I've been asked for loans dozens of times. I recently lent a girl-friend of 4 years 30,000 baht. I've given it to her not expecting it back ever although we agreed on December.

The word loan when translated in thai is gift, that is how most if not all loans are percieved by most thais,Just choose your friends more carefully,..,. Edited July 20, 2008 by mikethevigoman

[mikethevigoman]

I believe I can. Most of the people I associate with on a regular basis at home are Thai. Some are male, some are female.

Like anywhere, some people you can trust, some you can't. There are people in Canada I wouldn't lend a dollar to. Same in Thailand. In Canada I've lent hundreds and thousands of dollars to some people and they've paid me back (usually the exact amount lent).

I've lent some people money in Thailand (from 2,000 - 20,000 baht), and not only have I been paid back, they've usually added a little interest (which I usually turn down with a polite thank you, as I know they can use that little extra more than I can).

Most of the guys in the club I ride with are Thai (3 of 30+ are farang). Most are business owners and probably far better off than I am (financially at least).

My best friend is Thai, and in the couple of years I've known him, he has never asked me for a dime (or a satang). I trust him enough that I've left 500,000 baht in his care for awhile, and left my Harley with him when I went to work. When we go out somewhere (dining/drinking/whatever), it's usually a bit of a game to see who can pay the bin before the other (and we're not talking 2-300 baht bins).

My landlady and her family treat me like family, and always try to include me in whatever they are doing (thankfully they haven't tried dumping the kids on me when they take a trip some where. I think they know that would be big trouble, 'cause I'd probably spoil the snot right out of them in revenge !). They look after me, and I look out for them.

In my experience, my relationships in Thailand are not that different that they were in Canada. I think a lot of it has to do with you, and how you interact with the people around you. (That is a "generic" you, and not pointed at anyone specific).

Very well put,its all about selection,and actually all of my best friends are guys i have met through my life a biker,. in fact ill lend small amounts of money to down and outs as the chance of seeing them ( or the money ) again is very unlikely, and in most cases that suits me fine !

[soundman]

From my point of view, most "Thai friends" come from the extended family, irrespective of whether you love, like or hate them. Despite any bickering & fighting within the family, if problems or emergencies arise, a cohesive unit instantly forms.

Most other Thai's I know, outside the family, more often than not fall into the "associates" category & many of them I wouldn't trust at all, however, deal with them through necessity.

Cheers,

Soundman.

[NotNew2You]

I would like to have more Thai friends but language, cultural, and class barriers make it difficult. Most things that Thais find interesting do not interest me (shopping, Thai pop-culture, Thai religious and national holidays/celebrations) and things I like (Western music and culture, reading, current events, farang-food) has limited appeal to most Thais. Throw in difficulties in communication and the limited discretionary budgets of most Thais and making lots of friends is difficult.

As for the money lending, I find this to be very common among the Thais themselves so that if you befriend a few of them, you become part of the borrowing circle when someone is in need of funds. It's sorta like a mutual aid society...they try to give/lend to one another if they have a little extra so that when they are broke, they will have some chits to call in Most of the time I say "no" but if the amount is small and the need great, up to a thousand baht may be proffered on occasion.

[popshirt]

]The word loan when translated in thai is gift, that is how most if not all loans are percieved by most thais.............

This is enlightening information and what I have thought also without knowing about the translation. Thanks Mike.

[crudy21]

Definitely! Had a Thai friend (hotel worker) lend me money when i lost my credit card, also up country at my mates inlaws, myself and my girlfriend (english) visited earlier this year, ate and drank like hogs for 3 days and they wouldn't accept 1 baht for their hospitality.

[gharknes]

I go out with thai friends (male) sometimes and they won't let me pay for anything, on the other hand I've had a few that tried to pull a fast one. I guess there is no generalisation, we are all human.

[Andiamo]

I believe I can. Most of the people I associate with on a regular basis at home are Thai. Some are male, some are female.

Like anywhere, some people you can trust, some you can't. There are people in Canada I wouldn't lend a dollar to. Same in Thailand. In Canada I've lent hundreds and thousands of dollars to some people and they've paid me back (usually the exact amount lent).

I've lent some people money in Thailand (from 2,000 - 20,000 baht), and not only have I been paid back, they've usually added a little interest (which I usually turn down with a polite thank you, as I know they can use that little extra more than I can).

Most of the guys in the club I ride with are Thai (3 of 30+ are farang). Most are business owners and probably far better off than I am (financially at least).

My best friend is Thai, and in the couple of years I've known him, he has never asked me for a dime (or a satang). I trust him enough that I've left 500,000 baht in his care for awhile, and left my Harley with him when I went to work. When we go out somewhere (dining/drinking/whatever), it's usually a bit of a game to see who can pay the bin before the other (and we're not talking 2-300 baht bins).

My landlady and her family treat me like family, and always try to include me in whatever they are doing (thankfully they haven't tried dumping the kids on me when they take a trip some where. I think they know that would be big trouble, 'cause I'd probably spoil the snot right out of them in revenge !). They look after me, and I look out for them.

In my experience, my relationships in Thailand are not that different that they were in Canada. I think a lot of it has to do with you, and how you interact with the people around you. (That is a "generic" you, and not pointed at anyone specific).

Great Post Kerryd!

Totally concur with the points highlighted above!

[pumpuiman]

Yes I have Thai friends.

Some won't let me touch my wallet. And some I purposely let pay, out of respect to their social standing. One of my wifes best friends is very well off...and I'm instructed not to insult her (cause loss of face) by offering to pay a bill.

Perhaps some folks get confused with the money issue. It's a gesture of respect to be offered the bill at a group dinner (I got seriously respected by 25 of my wifes friends once)

It can be a "face" issue.

If you are of obviously higher social standing in a setting where a bill is presented, the bill will be given to you....the big kahuna.

That said, I also have friends who I spend a lot of time with, who follow what seems normal to us farang....splitting the bill.

And friends who would give me the shirt off their back (although I've yet to meet a Thai with the same shirt size)

[wiratchada]

Just had a major disappointment. The details are unimportant but I've just been forced to realise that a Thai woman I genuinely believed to be a friend (and who I am not screwing) was just in it for the money.

Which leads me to ask the question, apart from wives and relatives and maybe not even them, can you honestly truly say your friends with a Thai and if you were penniless they would still have anything to do with you?

So sorry for hearing that you are got an disappointed from Thai girl. Here like anywhere but that because you are unlucky to met a bad friend. I guess before you visit Thailand you already learn to know which area do you want to visit. This is treat you well. No need to be disappoint because the area you should go that business area. I don't know how long you be there. I just want you to know even Thai people will never easy to believe each another thai people also. Anyway don't blame at all Thai girls. There some nice under your eyes but you cannot see. Take time a bit you will be lucky guy like another. A lot of foreigner they are got a good, nice, pretty and friendly Thai girl. To be strong.

"Fear makes us lose the good chance"

Hope you meet a nice person soon.

Have a present stay.~*

[saorsa]

Your problem is nothing to do with a nationality of people, just to do with people. Doesnt matter where folk come from, some of them are always out to screw you. I have some thai friends in BKK that wont let me pay for anything. If I want to pay the bill at a restaurant, I have to ambush the waiter before he gets to the table otherwise they wont let me pay. Sorry you got burned, but come on, if it happened in the UK, would you be posting a topic saying 'are all british folk are a bunch of moneygrabbing <deleted>'. I hate this sort of thread, same as chariots said. I have found thais to be the most generous people I have ever met and if I get ripped off by one, I am not going to start thinking that all they are out for is money, i am just going to think that, hey, I was a bit gullible, best not do that again and choose who i loan cash to a bit more carefully!

[PeaceBlondie]

I have Thai friends, including family and my friends' families. Sometimes, here as at home, money affects relationships. Bill Gates does not return my phone calls and I do not spend much time with penniless drunks.

[innovator]

It is only about the cash, if you let it be about cash. Actually, the decision is yours to give or spend money on people, or not to give money.

You control your own money. So, if you meet folks, farang, Thai or any other people and you determine that they are primarily interested in getting

money from you, then you have options.

You can give them money.

You can tell them that you are not comfortable giving them money and NO, they can't have any.

If they go away after a negative answer then you are a lucky person to get rid of them. If they stick around anyway, even without money, then they may be true friends, but it takes a long time to determine if this is true, or if they are just willing to play along for a while before the request.

[Mrjlh]

I'm happy to say I have some really good Thai friends. They have all gone beyond being friendly and have yet to ask for anything in return. And I have been more than happy to return the kindness too. You need to show a little trust in people even though one of my really good friends in Phuket told me straight out, "Never trust a Thai, even me, when It comes to money". I've had only one really bad experience in regards to money but I think that was an isolated case and does not represent the population.

There are "takers" and there are "givers". They are in every country in the world. I think it's just like anywhere else, you have to pick your friends. And some times you pick bad ones.

[galowgala]

These kind of threads p1ss me off.

6 months ago I was waiting to sell a property in the UK, and ran out of cash. My g/f lent me the contents of her bank account (about 200k) and when that ran out her sister lent me another 50k. They had no proof of my dealings in the UK, but gave willingly as they trusted me.

A few months ago after paying them both back (with a little interest), I had a problem with a fellow farang. He is about 6'6" tall, and about 6'6" wide. After picking me up and throwing me in the ocean at Ban Sarae, I had no option but to phone my g/f and ask for a lift home.

A convoy turned up, her sister leading, ready to kick shit out of this farang who had disrespected me. Luckily he had already left, as I am sure I saw her brother with a gun.

Friends?

I think I have alot more friends here than I ever had back home.

and the reason for that is bcos you are there meal ticket, dont be naive

[Tarqin]

All,

This is a subject I find interesting and wish to discuss. Can I thank most for keeping it civil and on topic so far.

Saorsa, I did not post a topic entitled what you said. I posed a question.

[zzdocxx]

Just had a major disappointment. The details are unimportant

Well what exactly were the circumstances and what happened?

[geriatrickid]

Yes.

Everyone knows a couple bloodsucker types and a few honest big hearted goofs. Isn't it the same anywhere you live? No one has ever asked me for a loan ever. I do get screamed out by one of my friends if I am spending too much or if he thinks one of our "aquaintances" is trying to mooch. All of the ladies I know make more than me so maybe I've been spared the drama. No one ever calls me "hansum man" either.

[Kerryd]

I had a problem with a fellow farang. He is about 6'6" tall, and about 6'6" wide. After picking me up and throwing me in the ocean at Ban Sarae, I had no option but to phone my g/f and ask for a lift home.

At first I was going to ask if it was TheDon that did that, but then I remembered he prefers to snap kick people.

[tommyj4]

I got a black, lesbian, disabled muslim friend & she always pays me back money I lend her

[NanLaew]

The OP made an error of judgement and the OP cannot accept that. The OP considers that it must be due to gender or race of the perceived offender, both conveniently different from the OP's own race and gender. All the advice the OP needs has already been given earlier but consider this. Most business dealings and financial transactions are based on mutual satisfaction, i.e. you buy the car you want, the car dealer gets your money. The bank finances your car loan, you get the car you want, the dealer gets your money and the bank is rewarded by the interest on your loan, etc. What did the OP expect to get (or think he is now not going to get) from his bit of misguided philanthropy?

Unfortunately for every one person with the honest intent of loaning 'no strings attached' money to friends or family, there's probably two friends or family who will take advantage of the situation. This is a universal given, not limited to Thais or females.

[tommyj4]

Here Here Nan Laew...well said

[Tarqin]

The OP made an error of judgement and has accepted that.

The OP does not consider that this must be due to the gender or race of the perceived offender. Either NL has trouble understanding English or has not read the OP's post.

The OP does not understand NL's reference to car sales unless NL considers all relationships to be in effect business relationships in which case the OP considers NL to be deeply weird.

NL refers to a loan and is clearly under the impression that the OP lent someone money. Again the OP considers that either NL has trouble understanding English or has not read the OP's post as no loan is referred to.

The OP considers NL to be both patronising and ignorant.

The OP regrets that this potentially interesting thread has deteriorated.