Qantas Crew Demand Briefing

[skippybangkok]

Can just imagine Cyril ( think thats the name of the Head? ) at Engineering head quarters trying to convey his concerns about the hydraulic leak ( on a tripple redundancy system ). Ask your average cabbie crew how many engines this aircraft has, and you can see a blank look in their face.

Always amused me the stupidity of Cabin Crew. Windows mobile, can turn off signal on phone, but cabin crew get really upset - "you need to turn it off, cant use it", but the guy next to me with his laptop on and Wifi light clearly on is ok.

Qantas crew demand briefing

* August 3, 2008 - 9:18AM

Qantas cabin crew are demanding a meeting with company officials after another of the airline's jets was forced to make an emergency landing yesterday.

The Manila-bound 767 began leaking hydraulic fluid from a critical steering unit on take-off from Sydney and had to circle out over the ocean to dump fuel before returning to Sydney Airport

[slapout]

I always wondered as I sit and ponder problems of the world why not use the term unscheduled landing and/or emergency landing depending on the situation? When there is an unruley passenger I have noted they sometimes make an emergency landing. I also wonder, when they dump fuel is a clean up required? If so who pays for it? I understood that Qantas had one of the best safety records of all airlines, cabin crews may not contribute much too this record.

[skippybangkok]

I always wondered as I sit and ponder problems of the world why not use the term unscheduled landing and/or emergency landing depending on the situation? When there is an unruley passenger I have noted they sometimes make an emergency landing. I also wonder, when they dump fuel is a clean up required? If so who pays for it? I understood that Qantas had one of the best safety records of all airlines, cabin crews may not contribute much too this record.

My 2 cents its union politics - trying to say all maintenance should be done in Oz.

I know cabin crew, and rarely do you see some one who knows more than where to coffee is and how to dim cabin lights ( thats getting high tech ! ). I can just imagine the Chief Engineer holding in his chagrin as the head of cabin crew has a heart to heart with him on aircraft maintenance.

Fuel dumping - a KLM DC-10 did it after a bird stike, one engine dead, one only 1/2 power. Had to dump fuel like no bodies business south of amsterdam. Alot of of lettuce farmers claimed their produce had been soiled.

[Nignoy]

Here is an excerpt from a quantas job interview, the job on offer maintenance engineer,

Interviewer, what was your last job??

Interviewee, worked in Iraq,

Interviewer, are you prepared to join the union??

Interviewee, yes,

Interviewer, are you physically fit??

Interviewee, yes but I am allergic to coffee and I had my testicles blownoff in Iraq,

Interviewer, Perfect you got the job!!normal working hours ,8 till 5 ,5 days a week, you dont need to start until 10am but you will still get paid as if you started at 8am,

Interviewee, thats incredible , but wont the rest of the team be angry??

Interviewer, why should they be angry?? they spend the first 2 hours of their shift drinking coffee and scratching their balls anyway!!

I read this in saturdays newspaper in brisbane,

[roamer]

Did Quantas train London Underground staff or vice versa ?

Only wondered cos I often look at the tube train indicator boards and they will often change and say " check destination on front of train" or in other words, we don't know where the trains going so you check, slightly scary.

Are we not being a little unfair on Quantas though ? I mean they have to yet have their first passenger fatality in a crash....imagine if its YOU ? I mean anyone could win the lottery but being the first one to snuff it in a Quantas crash they would have to build a statue of you surely ? And then the birds can s**t on you instead of the cabin crew..

[Nignoy]

I know this will bring a load of crap down on me, but as was discussed on channel 9 yesterday morning ,know ing the power of the australian Unions and the ways the unions use that power, arent the last 2 incidents a bit suspicious!! the unions have had their foot on the throat of Quantas for a long time , and they do not intend too give up that strangle hold so easily,it smacks of UK in the 80,s, where the all powerful unions took on the government and lost, here in australia it is sadly going the same way, luckily I am retired ,especialy after seeing smaller local companies driven into bankruptcy by union action and abuse,As you can see my feelings run high when discussing union misuse of power,

[TheDon]

QANTAS Airlines : Repair Division

>

> In case you need a laugh : Remember it takes a university degree to fly a

> plane,

>

> but only a TAFE diploma to fix one

>

> After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a "Gripe Sheet"

> which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics

> correct the problems : document their repairs on the form , and then

> pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

>

> Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour

>

> Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots

> (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by

> maintenance engineers.

>

> By the way , Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a fatal

> accident.

>

> P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement

> S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre

>

> P: Test flight OK except auto-land very rough

> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

>

> P: Something loose in cockpit

> S; Something tightened in cockpit

>

> P: Dead bugs on windshield

> S: Live bugs on back order

>

> P:Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

>

> S: Cannot reproduce problem on the ground

>

> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear

> S: Evidence removed

>

> P: DME volume unbelievably loud

> S: DME volume set to more believable level

>

> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick

> S: That's what friction locks are for.

>

> P: IFF inoperative in OFF Mode

> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

>

> P:Suspect crack in windshield

> S: Suspect you're right

>

> P: Number 3 engine missing

> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

>

> P: Aircraft handles funny ............(I love this one !!)

> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up , fly right and be serious

>

> P: Target radar hums

> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

>

> P: Mouse in cockpit

> S: Cat installed

>

> And the best one for last

>

> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel, Sounds like a midget

> pounding on something with a hammer

> S: Took hammer away from midget

[slapout]

First time I saw this list I chuckled, same this time. If true it had to lighten up a muldane day.

[true blue]

QANTAS Airlines : Repair Division

>

> In case you need a laugh : Remember it takes a university degree to fly a

> plane,

>

> but only a TAFE diploma to fix one

>

> After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a "Gripe Sheet"

> which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics

> correct the problems : document their repairs on the form , and then

> pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

>

> Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour

>

> Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots

> (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by

> maintenance engineers.

>

> By the way , Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a fatal

> accident.

>

> P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement

> S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre

>

> P: Test flight OK except auto-land very rough

> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

>

> P: Something loose in cockpit

> S; Something tightened in cockpit

>

> P: Dead bugs on windshield

> S: Live bugs on back order

>

> P:Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

>

> S: Cannot reproduce problem on the ground

>

> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear

> S: Evidence removed

>

> P: DME volume unbelievably loud

> S: DME volume set to more believable level

>

> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick

> S: That's what friction locks are for.

>

> P: IFF inoperative in OFF Mode

> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

>

> P:Suspect crack in windshield

> S: Suspect you're right

>

> P: Number 3 engine missing

> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

>

> P: Aircraft handles funny ............(I love this one !!)

> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up , fly right and be serious

>

> P: Target radar hums

> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

>

> P: Mouse in cockpit

> S: Cat installed

>

> And the best one for last

>

> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel, Sounds like a midget

> pounding on something with a hammer

> S: Took hammer away from midget

cheers for that mate, brighten me up no end. anymore

[Godolphin]

My first post here.

I don't know much about the maintenance issue but you can smell a rat here.

I have watched Qantas decline from a once-model airline to my last possible airline of choice when traveling out of Melbourne.

Expensive, penny-pinching and tawdry is how I'd now describe the type of flights you get on Qantas these days.

Going to Bangkok, if you live in Melbourne, you must go through Sydney outward and return. Another three or more hours on top of a nine hour flight.

What crap. Melbourne is a city of nearly four million but our national airline can't fly direct to Thailand from here.

Many foreign carriers can but not Qantas. Their cut-price wing, Jetstar do but I had a five hour delay in Bangkok in July which I hear is not uncommon.

It does not surprise me to see so many technical problems emerging. The whole Qantas organisation is on the nose in my opinion.

As for the union issue: they are only doing their job in protecting their members. That's no excuse for bad business practices.

[ozzydom]

And the relativity to Thailand of this thread is .?????????????????

[Boater]

And the relativity to Thailand of this thread is .?????????????????

the airline company fly in and out of thailand?

[ulath]

And the relativity to Thailand of this thread is .?????????????????

the airline company fly in and out of thailand?

I dare say, you wont be able to fly direct to any south east asia country very easily using jetstar or quantas soon, you'll have to go through darwin as jetstar is setting up a base in darwin. So people land in darwin from domestic flights all around Australian and swap to the international one.

Although hopefully it will make flying from adelaide and perth cheaper

[dotcom]

The point of this is to give Donk a laugh. His biggest muscle is between his ears. Pump dem roids dude.