Discovery About Udon Girlfriend's Gender

[meandwi]

Before I was married my wife worked at a large office, her boss was a ladyboy and was over 40. She is still a beautiful woman. In no way is she a man! Very good and expensive reconstruction, She has the money to help maintain her looks though. Gym every day, microderm facials, hair dying, nail care, botox treatments, breast lifts, etc. I had no idea she was a man until my wife told me a few weeks later.

meandwi

[egg6447]

Simple truth is the person deceived you and you weren't able to decide for yourself. If she was open/honest with you from the very beginning then that is one thing, however she lied to you and your relationship is based on falsehoods. I think its time to move on.... trust has been broken and makes you wonder what else the person is hiding.

awww come on brit. when you meet new people its a need to know thing. hi my names brit i was a man but now i,m a woman. not trying to be personal here but i hope you get my drift. your usually better thought out than this.

[gymshark]

Before I was married my wife worked at a large office, her boss was a ladyboy and was over 40. She is still a beautiful woman. In no way is she a man!

Listen to what you are saying for gawds sake, born a man always a man, no amount of make up and surgery will change that

. I don't know why people need to go for this 3rd sex thing here. A man who dresses up as a woman is a tranny, if that's your thing then so be it but don't make it out to be something that it isn't.

[eek]

Before I was married my wife worked at a large office, her boss was a ladyboy and was over 40. She is still a beautiful woman. In no way is she a man!

Listen to what you are saying for gawds sake, born a man always a man, no amount of make up and surgery will change that

. I don't know why people need to go for this 3rd sex thing here. A man who dresses up as a woman is a tranny, if that's your thing then so be it but don't make it out to be something that it isn't.

I have to say, have a think about what you are saying instead. A person can have all the physical attributes of one sex, but the mental attributes of another. lucky us who were born without gender conflict.

[gymshark]

Before I was married my wife worked at a large office, her boss was a ladyboy and was over 40. She is still a beautiful woman. In no way is she a man!

Listen to what you are saying for gawds sake, born a man always a man, no amount of make up and surgery will change that

. I don't know why people need to go for this 3rd sex thing here. A man who dresses up as a woman is a tranny, if that's your thing then so be it but don't make it out to be something that it isn't.

I have to say, have a think about what you are saying instead. A person can have all the physical attributes of one sex, but the mental attributes of another. lucky us who were born without gender conflict.

I respect your opinion but disagree. Mental has nothing to do with it, if you are born male it doesn't matter what your mental state is, you will always be male.

[eek]

I appreciate your courteous reply gymshark, many people here shoot others down too fast.

I guess the only thing important in the end is if they make each other happy, regardless of how others view them.

Edited August 25, 2008 by eek

[gymshark]

I appreciate your courteous reply gymshark, many people here shoot others down too fast.

I guess the only thing important in the end is if they make each other happy, regardless of how others view them.

Now that is a statement I can agree with

[Lickey]

Quote svenn.. But constancy and the status quo are what I confide in, so I've told her for now I can still support her (we have been building a small cheap house together outside Udon (at my request and initiative guys, not hers)) and I'll keep meeting with her for a few years, and we'll take it from there.

So why the post in the 1st place?

[Dave the Dude]

So why the post in the 1st place?

I think you will find the guy was asking for support,guidance,acceptance,help,opinions(positive&negative maybe),details from people with like experiences. With that info, he can hopefully make a very important decision about his/their future. A very sensible approach, me thinks!

All the GOOD things that CAN come from ThaiVisa and the internet (apart from the p!ss-take brigades).

Dave

[PeaceBlondie]

Most people in the world do not look young after they get old, of course. You will not look young at 77, Svenn. Do not worry about that.

Of course she had to lie. It was either that, or spend the rest of her life in a man's body. We all lie about sex. You were not deceived any more than everybody else is deceived in one way or the other; you were simply deceived in a special way. Others have been deceived or lied to in much the same way. I think you can forgive her and stay with her.

From what you say, Svenn, your girlfriend is feminine, female. But you know what? Males and females are far more alike than most folks think. And a transgendered ex-male is about as feminine as she chooses to be.

[OxfordWill]

Before I was married my wife worked at a large office, her boss was a ladyboy and was over 40. She is still a beautiful woman. In no way is she a man!

Listen to what you are saying for gawds sake, born a man always a man, no amount of make up and surgery will change that

. I don't know why people need to go for this 3rd sex thing here. A man who dresses up as a woman is a tranny, if that's your thing then so be it but don't make it out to be something that it isn't.

I have to say, have a think about what you are saying instead. A person can have all the physical attributes of one sex, but the mental attributes of another. lucky us who were born without gender conflict.

I respect your opinion but disagree. Mental has nothing to do with it, if you are born male it doesn't matter what your mental state is, you will always be male.

Exactly how many hours of study and reading have you committed to the forming of this opinion of yours and can you really be sure its an opinion based on anything other than your personal feelings on the subject? See the link in my signature for more info.

Edited August 26, 2008 by OxfordWill

[Lickey]

So why the post in the 1st place?

I think you will find the guy was asking for support,guidance,acceptance,help,opinions(positive&negative maybe),details from people with like experiences. With that info, he can hopefully make a very important decision about his/their future. A very sensible approach, me thinks!

All the GOOD things that CAN come from ThaiVisa and the internet (apart from the p!ss-take brigades).

Dave

I agree with what you are saying Dave, but quotes in his post like the following have got me wondering!

I may be young and naive but I'm not a social idiot like others farangs,

And he wants constructive criticism to help him make a decesion from others more stupid than him in Issan?

So wether his post is attention seeking or genuine i dont know, perhaps there are a lot more sites on the www better equiped than us old idiot falangs to deal with his problem.

Lickey.

[Svenn]

I agree with what you are saying Dave, but quotes in his post like the following have got me wondering!

I may be young and naive but I'm not a social idiot like others farangs,

And he wants constructive criticism to help him make a decesion from others more stupid than him in Issan?

So wether his post is attention seeking or genuine i dont know, perhaps there are a lot more sites on the www better equiped than us old idiot falangs to deal with his problem.

Lickey.

"other farangs" doesn't mean "all farangs" mate! no offense ever intended, I do indeed seek guidance from people who know something of what I am experiencing. Nevertheless, I don't think anyone will doubt that thailand has a larger portion of social weirdos than other int'l expat communities, like people with NO social skills at all, who I just wanted to reasonably distinguish myself from.

The thing I've been coming to realize is that I can make this relationship work if I want to, and I'm not really troubled anymore by my thoughts or other people who tell me "she ain't no lady!, always will be a man, derr derr " I haven't read up on the science like other posters have recommended, but I know intuitively now that gender is a matter of degree, probably based more on testosterone or estrogen levels, not 'either-or' or what organ someone's born with. That isn't to say I have unconditional respect for all transgendered people, as I think a lot of them, especially Westerners, just do it as a fetish or something or advertise it a lot or switch back-and-forth; and don't really have a profound, intrinsic, biological and psychological being like my gf.

Neither of us is losing at this point, so everything should be fine either way it turns out far down the road...

-If the moderator is tired of this topic, feel free to close!

[cophen]

You've asked your questions - you've had all the advice that Thaivisa has to offer. The choice is now yours. Make sure the choice is from your heart. Chok dee!

[binnsy]

Well i have not read all the replies but has anyone mentioned Children?

Maybe this is not a concern of yours that you will not father a child with this lady.

All the best

[skippybangkok]

To make a point - lets twist the story a bit.

I have really hard eye sight, and am hard of hearing, and met this lovely girl, she did not talk, but i could feel we had something together, a special bonding. She loved to eat, was a bit hairy and was really an outdoors girls and loved climbing trees. After lasic, i found out she was an orang-utan.

.......... ok - crazy, but using a crazy example to make a point more clear. Yes, you had feelings for the lovely orange haired girl, but are now questioning whether it was a wise decision. Can you go home to your family and friends and introduce her as your future wife - probably not. I guess you can make it really work if you want to, anything is possible.

move on, plenty of good fish in the sea.

looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, etc? Some things i can absolutely confirm for you:

1) this happens often!

2) you're not stupid

3) your feelings for her should not change because of this

4) the way in which she revealed her past to you was a VERY good indication of her (good) character.

Ask yourself if it really matters anyway? There are two practical considerations:

1) She will not age well, and by that I do not mean just looks, also personality can be affected if she is not careful with her hormone intake, you can get very good advice in bangkok hospitals.

2) I know one couple such as yourselves who adopted one child and then used a surrogate mother for a second, as the father really wanted a genetic child.

Whatever you do, don't much a rushed decision. If you value the current academic brilliance on this issue (and you should) you can rest assured that opinion weighs heavily on the side of such people having a biological cause, and not a psychological one, at the root of their desire/feeling to be female. so your "wrong organ" remark is actually quite on the money.

[OxfordWill]

You fail to make your point (or any point) since your analogy is too weak.

[gymshark]

I'll probably get shouted at but..

I think the point he was trying to get across is that it is one thing being with another bloke over here because he looks like a girl but I would think a huge number of families in the west would find it distasteful to say the least and would be down right embarrassed. We who live here are used to seeing such oddities on a daily basis, I barely bat an eyelid when served by a she male at boots chemist, but try taking it home to your family in the west?

[OxfordWill]

Im sorry you had such terrible parents but many of us were luckier- my family would have no problem or embarassment if I was the OP.

[gymshark]

Im sorry you had such terrible parents but many of us were luckier- my family would have no problem or embarassment if I was the OP.

I didn't mention my parents (learn to read), but yeah I guess they would be OK to my face but I know it would severely disappoint them and for sure embarrass them. Why would you do that to your parents anyway? How many people on here can honestly say they wouldn't be embarrassed to walk around in their native home town with a tranny? Be honest now!

[OxfordWill]

There are several people who are transgender who contribute on this forum, how do you think they feel when they read your posts?

I know its hard to empathise with the amount of supplemental testosterone that courses through your veins. Did the doc warn you tho, taking those pills and lifting those weights will not change the fact you sometimes dream about being embraced by the Terminator.

Edited August 27, 2008 by OxfordWill

[gymshark]

There are several people who are transgender who contribute on this forum, how do you think they feel when they read your posts?

I am sure they are all to aware of how they are viewed overseas, probably more so than we are. You think someone can live like that and not develop a thick skin? Anyway, I have a tranny friend that went to school with my wife so don't paint me to be a TG hater, I'm not.

[britmaveric]

I could care less about if the lad goes with boy/girl/katoey - however I think he should have had the right to decide from early on if this was the choice he really wanted. However he was robbed of the choice by the lady in question who wasn't honest about the situation. If he was given the choice maybe it wouldn't have started anything with said lady or maybe he would have least it was up to him.

One of the things I like about most transgendered - they will tell you from word go, so there is no confusion. This sort of honesty should be applauded and its really the right thing to do.

[OxfordWill]

You should show your friend your posts, Im sure she would enjoy being referred to as an "it".

[gymshark]

You should show your friend your posts, Im sure she would enjoy being referred to as an "it".

He is a bloke dreesed up as a woman with a blokes plumbing and if you think I haven't given him a load of ribbing to his face I don't know what to tell you, they have a sense of humour too even if you don't, we even had that very conversation about him, her or it when regarding military service in thailand. You can take of the shining armour now, they are quite capable of defending themselves.

[OxfordWill]

yea, Im done, back to the beer.

Edited August 27, 2008 by OxfordWill

[Lucifer]

''on top of that, she took hormones.''

What happens when he stops taking the hormones? Fear the thought.

[gymshark]

I certainly hope to continue to learn more about them from your experiences with them.

Tune in next week viewers. I only know one, I am sure there are plenty of Pattaya guys who can enlighten you. Eeewww.

[skippybangkok]

You fail to make your point (or any point) since your analogy is too weak.

Quite obviously you root in or for the other camp.

He/She (??) was not honest from the get go. If he was told by he/she from the get go, he could of made an informed decision.

I had a cousin nice guy, not so smart, god bless his dead soul, who could never find a girlfriend. Finally he found one, and was so proud he finally had one, he brought "her" to visit the whole family ( this in Europe where families and towns are close knit). After 1 year, the relationship was "sadly" over. Penny was not Penny, his/her name was Herman.

The poor guy ( a nice guy who would do anything for anyone ) was totally floored, extremely embarrassed, and became the joke of the family /town.

[OxfordWill]

Actually I root in for deductive logic and am against fallacious reasoning, regardless of whose side it comes from. I have a highly tuned in built detector system for picking up both, for which I paid about 40 000 GBP over 5 years to acquire and am still paying off at the bank.

Edited August 29, 2008 by OxfordWill