Need Some Serious Advice What To Do.

[Datsun240Z]

Hello,

I've got a serious question on my mind what to do at the moment. My girlfriend is from Thailand and I am from The Netherlands. I've visited her now 2 times. And i'm just back to my home country again. She has never visited my country before. But we are working on the 3 months Tourist Visa, so she can stay here.

I''m seriously worried she won't like it here for some reason, but maybe not. It's cold most of the time. She needs a reasonably good job to make it here, which is difficult because she can't speak our langauge, as do I Thai. We communicate in English at the moment. Thai culture is very different than ours.

My myself don't have much family anymore, but she has in Thailand. And if she decides to live here with me, I think she will be very lonely. But I understand everything is new.

So I'm thinking about what to do. Should I move and live/work in Thailand, or should she come live with me in The Netherlands. I don't mind Thailand culture, and can live with it. It's not strange or a shock for me. But on the other side, I think our culture is a big shock for her. And what can i do for a living there? I'm 22 and working in the Technical sector, but I know tourism makes good money.

So I'm asking you guys for advice. We'r long time not with each other, and that's not fun offcourse

And it can't stay like this, fly up and down again. We need to live with each other and build something.

Thnx in advance.

[Martian]

It is true that your girl will be lonely and probably not like the cold weather. Some Thais prosper in the cold weather and surprisingly enough are quite resilient to many cultural differences but most are not. This goes back to their religion and upbringing teaching them to not be so judgmental and show tolerance.

One thing is for sure though, if you bring her to your home country be sure that she has direct and easy access to Thai food or the ingredients to make her favorite foods. Most Thais will not acclimate to another culture or location if they cannot rely on having their favorite food. Their favorite food is as much a need in their life as is water and oxygen. No joke and don't underestimate the importance of this.

Idle time isn't a good thing either. Even if it is a part time job, she should have her own work to make her own money for the feeling of self worth. Internet access and calling cards to Thailand are also very helpful in making your girl comfortable. I have always made my wife's family and friends in Thailand as accessible as possible by providing internet access and unlimited calling cards. Now she understands why the computer in Thailand was my mia noi when I lived there with her for 4 years. Now the roles are reversed. She lives in my country with me and is on the internet constantly, basically watching all her favorite movies and TV series on Youtube. Just yesterday she became a citizen and we are now figuring out how to liquidate some of our paid-for assets, rent out our house and return to Thailand for a year or two while the economic mess gets worked out. 5 months ago I had my job of 22 years taken away and I am going to make the most of the given freedom to spend some time in Thailand, hopefully working as a teacher.

Good luck to you and your girl, but at your age you should concentrate on establishing a career to get into a position to live comfortably with your sweetie whether in your country or hers.

Regards,

Martian

[Datsun240Z]

Offcourse she needs own work when she wants to live here. I prefer living in Thailand, everything is still cheap, but the jobs don't pay well. Or you have to start your own company to make some resanoble money. And if that will make my girl be more happy, I don't mind living there. As you may now, all the rules we have here in this country aren't fun either.

As I told some time before, her job is tourguide. So she's constantly on the move, trough the country. I told her it'ss better to get a normal working day job, or else i still would be alone for weeks, when i'm there.

Thnx for your advice Martian.

[7by7]

The major problem when my wife first settled in England was boredom.

I was out at work all day, she was stuck at home alone all day.

When she found work for herself this changed, but what also helped was finding Thai friends.

I believe that the Netherlands has a substantial Thai community, so I would suggest finding and introducing her to other Thais while she is with you on her visit, so she can link up with them again when she comes to live. However, remember some she will like, others she wont. Don't expect two people to be friends just because they are both Thai!

Although I have yet to meet a Dutch person who could not speak English, she should, of course, learn Dutch. Enroling her in a language school will also help keep her occupied.

[Denim]

If you come to live in Thailand you will probably find it very difficult to find a job. If she does not like living in the Netherlands maybe she could return to Thailand and you could spend half the year working in the Netherlands doing as much O.T . as possible then spend the 6 winter months in Thailand with your girlfriend. As 7by7 said, if she meets other Thais there she might make new friends and feel more comfortable there so there may not be a problem.

[britmaveric]

Forget about work in Thailand unless you want to teach English, not to mention you need to think about your future - you are starting out your career and these are years you should be making dosh hand over fist.

[jetjock]

You are in the proverbial 'between a rock and a hard place' and unfortunately there are not many good alternatives. In my opinion, you are too young to give up your financial future by moving to Thailand. The only way that you will be able to find out if she will be happy in the Netherlands is by getting her a tourist visa and having her spend some time over there. As I see it, the real question is whether she will be able to find long term happiness by adapting to the culture and climate of the Netherlands.

As for the culture, if your gf is well educated and can become fluent in your language then assimilation into your country will usually not that difficult. If not, then it can create a problem as the usual alternative is that in their search for friendship, Thais then tend to gravitate to the small and very limited Thai subcultures that exist in most countries. My Thai wife is well educated and as fluent in English as I am, so she had no problem totally assimilating into the American business and social culture and is extremely happy with her new social network and her many new friends . As for weather, I agree that Thais seem to like the warmer weather climates. My wife has been touring Europe for the past 6 weeks and although she is really enjoying all the beauty and culture, she has told me that she would not want to live in Northern Europe because it was too cool ( she even said the weather was bad in Italy and it is only September ! ) and she is now looking forward to getting back to the warm California and Hawaii weather. She is now heading to the Greek Islands where hopefully she will find some hot weather!

In other words despite the many possible probable road blocks to finding happiness, by bringing your gf over to the Netherlands on a tourist visa for a few months, you may be able to get a much better idea what the probability is that she will be happy living in the Netherlands on a long term basis. In my humble opinion, if it doesn't work out then the best alternative for you will most likely be to just continue in an long distance relationship. Good luck---

[Datsun240Z]

I don't want long distance relationship. I can't live with the missing everyday. It's very hard now.

[Datsun240Z]

Anyhow have to wait anyway. So any advice is welcome. Thnx for the tips so far!

[CharlieB]

You have 2 options. Bite the bullet and get her over to the Netherlands, or go over there.

I would advise against going over there at your age. At the moment you probably don't have too much money behind you, certainly not enough to live off for 60 years. You will also have no pension built up, so you'd never be able to retire comfortably. In Thailand most 'farang' make no money to speak of. Most of the westerners you see living there are either living 50% of the time in Thailand and working the other 50% in the west, or they are retired and have steady pension income coming in.

You won't get a job in a technical trade there without a lot of luck or knowing people, so unless you can get a transfered in with a western company that's not an option. Why would they employ you when they could employ a Thai for a fraction of your expected salary.

You say people make money from Tourism. I guess you mean owning a bar or club, forget it, most of those tick over at best and many steadily lose money. Any tourist money-making opportunity has already been over-subscribed now.

To teach English over there you will probably get about 25-30k baht a month, so maybe 400 euros. You'd also have to get in line behind any native English speakers for a job as English is not your first language if you're form the Netherlands. Can you live on 400 euros? Maybe yes in Thailand, but not living like a farang, you will have to live like a Thai.

I know that at 22 you think you must have it all now, but unless you get her over to your country to test the water, you'll have to make do with a long distance relationship. I hope you're not thinking someone is going to come up with a magic answer, because there isn't one. The advice you have been given so far is sound, except I would be wary about introducing your girlfriend to any old Thai living in your home country, because some of them are all too happy to advise your girlfriend to get what they think she wants. I'll let you figure that one out. The important things are phonecalls home, Thai movies/music/tv on the internet and most importantly a local Thai (oriental) shop where she can get her favourite foods to stink out your kitchen!

[Datsun240Z]

The best way for now is to live here, I knew that allready. But now as I read, not much working future there in Thailand.

So I'll stick with here to stay for now, I hope she will like it here . She will comes visit in a few months here. So when it's very cold! Actually winter, so have to see!

The Thai food is not a problem, local one nearby. She's half chinese by the way. But she said to me, she's not so difficult with the food and can eat anything. Well have to see that for myself offcourse!

I was thinking about build up steady future here, and buy a second house in Thailand. So 50/50 like allready said here.

So we can change some time, so she can see back Thailand more then enough.

This is me.

Edited September 28, 2008 by Datsun240Z

[CharlieB]

The best way for now is to live here, I knew that allready. But now as I read, not much working future there in Thailand.

So I'll stick with here to stay for now, I hope she will like it here . She will comes visit in a few months here. So when it's very cold! Actually winter, so have to see!

The Thai food is not a problem, local one nearby. She's half chinese by the way. But she said to me, she's not so difficult with the food and can eat anything. Well have to see that for myself offcourse!

I was thinking about build up steady future here, and buy a second house in Thailand. So 50/50 like allready said here.

So we can change some time, so she can see back Thailand more then enough.

This is me.

You are making the right choice. It's the sensible choice. At your age, you cannot afford to gamble so much. You need to start building up some finances for your future. I know it seems crazy at 22, but if you really want to have a good future in Thailand, you have to start thinking of providing a pension in the future so you can retire to Thailand and have a comfortable life.

Oh BTW, don't believe your gf. She will want Thai food. I know that every Saturday at some point I will be driving to the local Thai shop to stock up for the week!

[Datsun240Z]

Yeah it is so Charlie. Anyhow we are both working hard to get her here we hope with christmas. But she doesn't earn much, and even a plane ticket is alot of money. So i'm helping here, but i'm not crazy paying everything. Share, me a bit more cause it's also logic i earn more.

Any more advice would be welcome. What's a good way to make the time without here a bit more easier for both? I'm already going to gym, so don't start about that haha.

I just called with here on the phone, but she's so lonely, anyhow told to hold on for a while and everything will be fine.

Edited September 28, 2008 by Datsun240Z

[jetjock]

The best way for now is to live here, I knew that allready. But now as I read, not much working future there in Thailand.

So I'll stick with here to stay for now, I hope she will like it here . She will comes visit in a few months here. So when it's very cold! Actually winter, so have to see!

The Thai food is not a problem, local one nearby. She's half chinese by the way. But she said to me, she's not so difficult with the food and can eat anything. Well have to see that for myself offcourse!

I was thinking about build up steady future here, and buy a second house in Thailand. So 50/50 like allready said here.

So we can change some time, so she can see back Thailand more then enough.

This is me.

You are making the right choice. It's the sensible choice. At your age, you cannot afford to gamble so much. You need to start building up some finances for your future. I know it seems crazy at 22, but if you really want to have a good future in Thailand, you have to start thinking of providing a pension in the future so you can retire to Thailand and have a comfortable life.

Oh BTW, don't believe your gf. She will want Thai food. I know that every Saturday at some point I will be driving to the local Thai shop to stock up for the week!

Charlie is spot on about everything including the Thai food You look like a really nice young man so it is nice to hear that you are trying to make some good choices and seem to have worked out a sensible plan. Hopefully your gf will have no problem getting a visa and will be able to make it over by Christmas. Keep us posted as to how everything works out. Best of luck to you

[Datsun240Z]

Thank you

I hope she will be here soon to, so does she. She was real sad on the phone today, tried to cheer her up I do have a few questions about the Visa. The 3 months (90 days) one. When I was there I contacted the Dutch embassy and asked the steps what to do. When I was back home here, I started to do my part of the paperwork. This is allready sended to her in Thailand and she has it since last week. Now she needs her part of the paperwork. Can this be easily done? How easy do they apply the Visa @ the embassy? She's not poor, and did some good studies and has done univercity English.

As I understand she may or may not need a letter from employee? But she's working as freelance, so not really a steady job as you can say.

This is what the Embassy says:

Tourist visa

Requirements for tourist visa (short stay = maximum 90 days) to the Netherlands (and Schengen countries)

To apply at this Embassy the main destination must be the Netherlands. Only citizens of Thailand and citizens of other countries with a valid Thai residence permit can apply for a visa at the Netherlands Embassy in Bangkok. The Thai residence permit must be valid for at least three (3) months after date of return to Thailand.

Every applicant must appear in person to apply.

Each applicant is required to submit the following with the visa application.

• <LI class=in_inhoud>Completed visa

application form, duly signed by the applicant .
<LI class=in_inhoud>Two (2) recent passport-size photographs (colour). <LI class=in_inhoud>Letter of introduction from the employer of the applicant .
<LI class=in_inhoud>Written confirmation from the employer that the applicant is allowed to take leave.
Bank statements of the applicant.

In case you are staying with a guarantor in the Netherlands:

• Legalized letter of guarantee (can be obtained from municipality in the Netherlands); this letter must mention that the guarantor warrants all traveling and lodging expenses and guarantees the applicant’s return to Thailand.In case the municipality only issues an invitation letter without financial guarantee an additional letter with these contents must be made and signed by the guarantor.
  

• Letter from guarantor in which he explains the relationship with the applicant. In case of family relationship: show family relationship by means of house registration, birth certificates or other official documents. Copy of Netherlands residence permit of the Thai relative.
  

• Copy of a valid ID of guarantor (passport or driving licence).
  

• Proof of income of guarantor. In case guarantor is employed: the three most recent salary slips. In case guarantor has his own business: the most recent income tax information and the registration with the Chamber of Commerce.
  

The applicant should keep copies of these documents as in case the visa is granted and the applicant travels to the Netherlands he/she may be asked for these documents by the Immigration Authorities in the Netherlands.

• Confirmed flight reservation and hotel reservation (unless staying at guarantor’s house).
  => Do not buy the airline ticket until the applicant has been informed that the visa application has been approved.
  

• Passport which must be valid for at least three (3) months after date of return to Thailand.
  

• Sufficient cash to pay the visa handling fee
  (see publication board in waiting area for current visa handling fees).
  

Minors (persons younger than 20), traveling without their parents/guardians should submit the following additional documents:

• <LI class=in_inhoud>birth certificate + copy (for the embassy) <LI class=in_inhoud>letter of consent from parents or legal guardians
  
• supporting letter from school, university etc.
  

The embassy reserves the right to request additional documents and/or information or forward the application to the Visa Service in the Netherlands for further processing. In case the applicant fails to submit the requested additional documents and/or information within four weeks after the date of application, the visa application will be rejected automatically.

Application procedure:

• <LI class=in_inhoud>Day 1 : Submit the application.
  
• Day 2 : Contact the Embassy by telephone (02-3095240) from Monday to Friday between 13.00 and 16.00 hrs., to ask about the status of the application.
  

In case the visa application has been approved, the Embassy staff will state from which date the passport with the requested visa can be collected.

On the collection day between 08.30 and 09.00 hrs, the following should be submitted:

• <LI class=in_inhoud>The original airline ticket with a copy for the Embassy
  
• The original travel/health insurance policy , with a minimum coverage of 1,500,000.= Baht (or 30.000.= Euro) for medical expenses, with a copy for the Embassy
  

General information:

A visa issued includes a margin of 14 days as from the day of validity. Departure after 14 days after the date of validity decreases the period of stay.

A Schengen consultation obligation is in place for passport holders of a number of countries, among which some countries in South East Asia. Thailand is not one of these countries, but for holders of non-Thai passports a delay of two (2) weeks could occur. Please check with the consular section for more information.

Please do NOT call the duty officer outside office hours as he/she cannot give you any information about the status of a visa application.

Edited September 28, 2008 by Datsun240Z

[Datsun240Z]

By the way as I was thinking. Can she also land in like say Dusseldorf ( Germany ), or does this has to be Amsterdam because of the Visa? Because then she can fly LTU, that's alot cheapier, although I know some Airlines refuse booking FROM Bangkok Int. Not TO but FROM.

[jetjock]

By the way as I was thinking. Can she also land in like say Dusseldorf ( Germany ), or does this has to be Amsterdam because of the Visa? Because then she can fly LTU, that's alot cheapier, although I know some Airlines refuse booking FROM Bangkok Int. Not TO but FROM.

A Schengen visa will allow her to fly from Bangkok to any of the Schengen countries and she can visit any of them in addition to her main destination of the Netherlands.

[Datsun240Z]

Thnx. That's a big relief. Saves alot of money. Anybody now where my girlfriend can book an LTU ticket in Bangkok?

[CharlieB]

Thnx. That's a big relief. Saves alot of money. Anybody now where my girlfriend can book an LTU ticket in Bangkok?

It may be possible for you to buy the ticket online for her if she can't get it in Thailand. I had to buy an emergency return ticket to BKK for my wife when she was in Thailand. I couldn't buy it direct from Thai Air as they wouldn't allow a non-travelling person to buy a ticket with a card, but I was able to do it through one of the bigger an internet travel sites, I think it was expedia or lastminute. My wife then printed off the e-ticket from an internet shop.

[Datsun240Z]

Real strange, that not all flights allow booking FROM BKK Airport. Is this to do that they are afraid there peope will not come back, and live in foreigner country?

[Marksamui]

Hello,

I've got a serious question on my mind what to do at the moment. My girlfriend is from Thailand and I am from The Netherlands. I've visited her now 2 times. And i'm just back to my home country again. She has never visited my country before. But we are working on the 3 months Tourist Visa, so she can stay here.

I''m seriously worried she won't like it here for some reason, but maybe not. It's cold most of the time. She needs a reasonably good job to make it here, which is difficult because she can't speak our langauge, as do I Thai. We communicate in English at the moment. Thai culture is very different than ours.

My myself don't have much family anymore, but she has in Thailand. And if she decides to live here with me, I think she will be very lonely. But I understand everything is new.

So I'm thinking about what to do. Should I move and live/work in Thailand, or should she come live with me in The Netherlands. I don't mind Thailand culture, and can live with it. It's not strange or a shock for me. But on the other side, I think our culture is a big shock for her. And what can i do for a living there? I'm 22 and working in the Technical sector, but I know tourism makes good money.

So I'm asking you guys for advice. We'r long time not with each other, and that's not fun offcourse

And it can't stay like this, fly up and down again. We need to live with each other and build something.

Thnx in advance.

If you have some decent qualifacations/experience I would recommend looking for a job in Singapore. The pay will be equal to what you get in The Netherlands and it is only 1-2 hours from Thailand. Easy to go for the weekend, and easy for her to come to Singapore. Not so much a culture shock either......

[Datsun240Z]

I'm not sure. I prefer staying in one country Thailand/Netherlands. Her job now, doesn't have here home much, constantly on the move. We don't want that anymore when we are together. The Netherlands would be the most logical now I think. Living in Thailand is cheapier, and I can get more there for my money easily. But then the salary income has to be western.

Nobody some good job tips in Thailand?

Edited September 30, 2008 by Datsun240Z

[Ski_Goong]

I'm not sure. I prefer staying in one country Thailand/Netherlands. Her job now, doesn't have here home much, constantly on the move. We don't want that anymore when we are together. The Netherlands would be the most logical now I think. Living in Thailand is cheapier, and I can get more there for my money easily. But then the salary income has to be western.

Nobody some good job tips in Thailand?

I think with your skills, you would make a wonderful English teacher.

Other than that, there are not many jobs that a "foreigner" can legally perform in Thailand. Your best bet.....found a company in your home country with a branch/office in Thailand and beg/kiss a$$ to get transfered there. Good luck.

Ski....

[Marksamui]

I'm not sure. I prefer staying in one country Thailand/Netherlands. Her job now, doesn't have here home much, constantly on the move. We don't want that anymore when we are together. The Netherlands would be the most logical now I think. Living in Thailand is cheapier, and I can get more there for my money easily. But then the salary income has to be western.

Nobody some good job tips in Thailand?

A job paying a western salary in Bangkok is like golddust! There has been a lot of people like you before and there will be plently in the future with that dream. Honestly I think the only way to do it is get a job with a company in the Netherlands that have an office in Bangkok and beg for a move.

You could always send out yr CV around those companies in the Neterlands telling them that you are looking for a Bangkok posting, you might get lucky. I would certainly try this route than the teaching route. You will find sitting in Thai, with not as much money in your pocket as when you were on holiday a different experience! Try a 2 month or so holiday on a budget and see how you get on...

[Datsun240Z]

I'm not sure. I prefer staying in one country Thailand/Netherlands. Her job now, doesn't have here home much, constantly on the move. We don't want that anymore when we are together. The Netherlands would be the most logical now I think. Living in Thailand is cheapier, and I can get more there for my money easily. But then the salary income has to be western.

Nobody some good job tips in Thailand?

Honestly I think the only way to do it is get a job with a company in the Netherlands that have an office in Bangkok and beg for a move.

You could always send out yr CV around those companies in the Neterlands telling them that you are looking for a Bangkok posting, you might get lucky.

Got any idea where to look for that kind of companies? People here with more experience in this?

[Datsun240Z]

I tried the internet, but don't know exactly where to look for this kind of jobs?

[Martian]

Working and living in Thailand is much different than what you experience on holiday.....even on a Western salary.

Good luck!

Martian

[unforgiven]

Hello,

I've got a serious question on my mind what to do at the moment. My girlfriend is from Thailand and I am from The Netherlands. I've visited her now 2 times. And i'm just back to my home country again. She has never visited my country before. But we are working on the 3 months Tourist Visa, so she can stay here.

I''m seriously worried she won't like it here for some reason, but maybe not. It's cold most of the time. She needs a reasonably good job to make it here, which is difficult because she can't speak our langauge, as do I Thai. We communicate in English at the moment. Thai culture is very different than ours.

My myself don't have much family anymore, but she has in Thailand. And if she decides to live here with me, I think she will be very lonely. But I understand everything is new.

So I'm thinking about what to do. Should I move and live/work in Thailand, or should she come live with me in The Netherlands. I don't mind Thailand culture, and can live with it. It's not strange or a shock for me. But on the other side, I think our culture is a big shock for her. And what can i do for a living there? I'm 22 and working in the Technical sector, but I know tourism makes good money.

So I'm asking you guys for advice. We'r long time not with each other, and that's not fun offcourse

And it can't stay like this, fly up and down again. We need to live with each other and build something.

Thnx in advance.

Are you joking?At least have her as a girlfriend for a few years,what's your hurry,,,I know what her hurry is that you'll un buffalo up!!!

[Datsun240Z]

Working and living in Thailand is much different than what you experience on holiday.....even on a Western salary.

Good luck!

Martian

Sure i can understand that .

@ Unforgiven: Don't worry she not that type, that will benefit from me.

[unforgiven]

Working and living in Thailand is much different than what you experience on holiday.....even on a Western salary.

Good luck!

Martian

Sure i can understand that .

@ Unforgiven: Don't worry she not that type, that will benefit from me.

lets hope!!!!!!!!!!!