Marry Me

[Edonista]

I have had a Thai GF for about 6 months now.. stay together 3 days per week.. I am 32, she is 30. I have lived in bkk for 4 yrs.

She sells websites, which isn't such stable work for her..

Pros:

Stunning Beauty

Jai dee

Very Honest as far as I know

I believe she loves me

Very affectionate

Helps out with $ for food /entertainment all the time

Great sex

Cons:

Her unreal Temper that even she admits is over the top

Finds something to fight about every 3 weeks or so, which turns into her spewing sometimes vulgar/ abusive language towards me, which can last up to 5-12 hrs at a time! ( i do the opposite of this )

Super jealous of any female friends i have.. even thought i say we can all hang out and try to do this together.

super suspicious of all my actions, not to mention any friends SHE may still have.. ( she doesn't have many, admitting she isn't very friendly)

very arrogant, thinking she is always right.

Just tonight she said she felt bad about a problem at work, called me and wanted to meet after we talked, but i was feeling a little sick & said the next day is better. This apparently was not good enough for her.. which stated another argument..

And over the past month SHE asked to marry! She seems to have a real urgecy about this.. Basically, "marry or split." She has also said a while ago that her parents will go back to Isan soon, & she will need to find another place.. also saying how I should get a bigger apartment, etc..

This makes me question her true motives.....

Her history:

had 2-3 farang BFs who split on her after 3-6 months.. one of which asked her to marry, then never called her after he went home.. other was a butterfly. So i can understand her feelings a bit.

hmmm What's a guy to do ?

Run...but first PM me her phone number so I can take care her broken heart

[Ricardo]

Cons:

Her unreal Temper that even she admits is over the top

Finds something to fight about every 3 weeks or so, which turns into her spewing sometimes vulgar/ abusive language towards me, which can last up to 5-12 hrs at a time! ( i do the opposite of this )

...

Her history:

had 2-3 farang BFs who split on her after 3-6 months.. one of which asked her to marry, then never called her after he went home.. other was a butterfly. So i can understand her feelings a bit.

hmmm What's a guy to do ?

Note that many females get difficult every 28 days, for a few days, but ...

On balance, approach with caution & handle with care, good advice for explosive situations.

[huggybear]

Run...but first PM me her phone number so I can take care her broken heart

yep, we have some real quality people here at TV forum.............................not.

My 2 satangs worth:

1. seems to me you might actually love her.........yes or no?

2. you talk about her faults (anger jealousy etc.) how about yours? i.e. does she put up with you farting in bed?(just an example people).

3. understand people don't change, you might have to put up with the headstrong stuff, but maybe the jealousy stuff will go away when you make the commitment. When she's the #1 wife and you're a catch, maybe that will turn to pride.

4. the ultamatum is complete B.S. she's calling your bluff. The old "sh*t or get off the pot", same happened to me in the U.S., I wasn't ready, gal boogied to someone who was.........oh well, lots of fish in the sea (I guess it's cliche day)

Best of luck

[Geekfreaklover]

Sounds to me like she is a sociopath...

Read on....

Profile of the Sociopath

This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.

• Glibness and Superficial Charm
  
• Manipulative and Conning
  They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
  
• Grandiose Sense of Self
  Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
  
• Pathological Lying
  Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
  
• Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
  A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
  
• Shallow Emotions
  When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
  
• Incapacity for Love
  
• Need for Stimulation
  Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
  
• Callousness/Lack of Empathy
  Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
  
• Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
  Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
  
• Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
  Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
  
• Irresponsibility/Unreliability
  Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
  
• Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
  Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
  

• 
  

[pop_corn]

I don't think you should consider marrying her if you are not in love with her, at least seems like you are not. Do you want to spend the rest of your life next to her every day 24/7? do you think that is possible since right now there are problems? I think you should talk to her straight forward, tell her what you feel and pro and cons of her, and let her know you are not getting married if things are not okay in between you two. Make her think about it a bit giving the relation maybe a couple of week to cool down..

best of luck!

[Shotime]

It sounds like you've run the string out on this one. 6 months of being with a beautiful girl, all the drama you could ever want, and great sex. It's difficult to say goodbye to, but it looks as if that's your best course. She sound desperate, and it will only get worse. Don't get hung up on feelings of guilt or indebtedness (?). Do what's best for you first. You do sound as if you know what that is, you just can't seem to do it. Oh yeh, forget trying to talk this out with her. It won't work.

Edited October 10, 2008 by Shotime

[bkkjames]

It sounds like you've run the string out on this one. 6 months of being with a beautiful girl, all the drama you could ever want, and great sex. It's difficult to say goodbye to, but it looks as if that's your best course. She sound desperate, and it will only get worse. Don't get hung up on feelings of guilt or indebtedness (?). Do what's best for you first. You do sound as if you know what that is, you just can't seem to do it. Oh yeh, forget trying to talk this out with her. It won't work.

Demote her to mia noi status or even gig for that matter. Change the locks first.

[pumpuiman]

If someone described this girl to you five years ago, and asked "Would you marry someone like this, or keep looking?"

What would have been your answer?

Marriage is more about mental compatibility than superficial things. Beauty fades.

I love my wife...she's strikingly beautiful...but if she were to gain 300 pounds and develop warts over her entire body....I'd still love her.

Can you say the same?

[dbrenn]

Jai dee (when she's not trying to kill me)

I believe she loves me ??????????

Very affectionate (when she's not trying to kill me)

Mate - if she really loved you she wouldn't want to start violent fights with you all the time. She would avoid confrontation at all costs.

Things will only get worse as she despises you more and more for staying with her even though she treats you like a punch bag.

Get rid of her forever, if can .....

[pop_corn]

If someone described this girl to you five years ago, and asked "Would you marry someone like this, or keep looking?"

What would have been your answer?

Marriage is more about mental compatibility than superficial things. Beauty fades.

I love my wife...she's strikingly beautiful...but if she were to gain 300 pounds and develop warts over her entire body....I'd still love her.

Can you say the same?

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[sgtpeppers]

do yourself and her a favor, tell her it is just not going to work out , give your reasons, and split with her. grow a pair before you do this if you have to.

the pressure from her is only going to increase due to her age and wanting to get married. and that is on top of her violent temperament and baggage.

marriage minded ladies of age 30 just can't afford years waiting for what could be in the end be nothing. time to make a decision and either get married or stop leading her on.

Edited October 10, 2008 by sgtpeppers

[jfchandler]

When she's around, don't sleep at night with any sharp kitchen knives available in the house....

[bendix]

Sounds to me like she is a sociopath...

Read on....

Profile of the Sociopath

This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.

• Glibness and Superficial Charm
  
• Manipulative and Conning
  They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
  
• Grandiose Sense of Self
  Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
  
• Pathological Lying
  Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
  
• Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
  A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
  
• Shallow Emotions
  When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
  
• Incapacity for Love
  
• Need for Stimulation
  Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
  
• Callousness/Lack of Empathy
  Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
  
• Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
  Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
  
• Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
  Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
  
• Irresponsibility/Unreliability
  Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
  
• Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
  Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
  

• 
  

Holy shit. It's like you know me so well . .

[zaza]

I just hope she would NOT run by this thread on TV website while she is shopping for websites (the OP mentioned that she sells websites)

On a serious note here to the OP; can you tell us:

1- what are the reasons that triggers her killer-violent-mood?

2- what is your reaction when she starts to demonstrate her destruction weapons? or do you sit back and watch her faint down? do you interact with her? or do you turn your back and sleep?

[onzestan]

I sure would like to hear her side of the story

cheers

onzestan

[thithi]

"marry or spilt" ???

ughhhh .... painful

if you love her, so what's the problem?

She seems to be a normal girl according to her Cons. XD

Tell me if you find any girls who don't think they are always right.

Although it's too much for being arrogant and suspicious.

Don't think too much. Be yourself and Think it yourself.

[RakJungTorlae]

If she has bad mood swings just leave man. Its not worth it and they will get worse I predict.

[Lithobid]

I have had a Thai GF for about 6 months now.. stay together 3 days per week.. I am 32, she is 30. I have lived in bkk for 4 yrs.

She sells websites, which isn't such stable work for her..

Pros:

Stunning Beauty

Jai dee

Very Honest as far as I know

I believe she loves me

Very affectionate

Helps out with $ for food /entertainment all the time

Great sex

Cons:

Her unreal Temper that even she admits is over the top

Finds something to fight about every 3 weeks or so, which turns into her spewing sometimes vulgar/ abusive language towards me, which can last up to 5-12 hrs at a time! ( i do the opposite of this )

Super jealous of any female friends i have.. even thought i say we can all hang out and try to do this together.

super suspicious of all my actions, not to mention any friends SHE may still have.. ( she doesn't have many, admitting she isn't very friendly)

very arrogant, thinking she is always right.

Just tonight she said she felt bad about a problem at work, called me and wanted to meet after we talked, but i was feeling a little sick & said the next day is better. This apparently was not good enough for her.. which stated another argument..

And over the past month SHE asked to marry! She seems to have a real urgecy about this.. Basically, "marry or split." She has also said a while ago that her parents will go back to Isan soon, & she will need to find another place.. also saying how I should get a bigger apartment, etc..

This makes me question her true motives.....

Her history:

had 2-3 farang BFs who split on her after 3-6 months.. one of which asked her to marry, then never called her after he went home.. other was a butterfly. So i can understand her feelings a bit.

hmmm What's a guy to do ?

Stunning Beauty, Jai dee, Very Honest as far as I know, I believe she loves me, Very affectionate, Helps out with $ for food /entertainment all the time, Great sex

The story after the facts.................... Priceless.

Keep us posted.

[Travel2003]

Cons:

Her unreal Temper that even she admits is over the top

Finds something to fight about every 3 weeks or so, which turns into her spewing sometimes vulgar/ abusive language towards me, which can last up to 5-12 hrs at a time! ( i do the opposite of this )

Super jealous of any female friends i have.. even thought i say we can all hang out and try to do this together.

super suspicious of all my actions, not to mention any friends SHE may still have.. ( she doesn't have many, admitting she isn't very friendly)

very arrogant, thinking she is always right.

Generally, worldwide, if a person (man or woman) is jealous, has a temper, likes to argue/fight, and is arrogant, gets married. These things will NEVER go away. They sometimes increase (more intense) after the marriage.

These issues must be dealt with long time before any marriage. If not they will just surface again, much stronger, after the wedding.

[ThaiPauly]

Sounds to me like she is a sociopath...

Read on....

Profile of the Sociopath

This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.

• Glibness and Superficial Charm
  
• Manipulative and Conning
  They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
  
• Grandiose Sense of Self
  Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
  
• Pathological Lying
  Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
  
• Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
  A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
  
• Shallow Emotions
  When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
  
• Incapacity for Love
  
• Need for Stimulation
  Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
  
• Callousness/Lack of Empathy
  Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
  
• Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
  Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
  
• Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
  Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
  
• Irresponsibility/Unreliability
  Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
  
• Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
  Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
  

• 
  

Holy shit. It's like you know me so well . .

You're so vain Bendix

[rick75]

Two words

Destructive Personality, people like her thrive on the ups and downs, they are never happy unless there is drama in there lives, if there is none they will find some, you will never have an ordinary life with her, it will always be ups and downs untill eventually you are a broken shell of a person, been there got the T-shirt, it was not fun.

[kangeroo]

she is like the stock exchange its ok when everything is up but when things go down she will jump . been there done that.

[h90]

I have had a Thai GF for about 6 months now.. stay together 3 days per week.. I am 32, she is 30. I have lived in bkk for 4 yrs.

She sells websites, which isn't such stable work for her..

Pros:

Stunning Beauty

Jai dee

Very Honest as far as I know

I believe she loves me

Very affectionate

Helps out with $ for food /entertainment all the time

Great sex

Cons:

Her unreal Temper that even she admits is over the top

Finds something to fight about every 3 weeks or so, which turns into her spewing sometimes vulgar/ abusive language towards me, which can last up to 5-12 hrs at a time! ( i do the opposite of this )

Super jealous of any female friends i have.. even thought i say we can all hang out and try to do this together.

super suspicious of all my actions, not to mention any friends SHE may still have.. ( she doesn't have many, admitting she isn't very friendly)

very arrogant, thinking she is always right.

Just tonight she said she felt bad about a problem at work, called me and wanted to meet after we talked, but i was feeling a little sick & said the next day is better. This apparently was not good enough for her.. which stated another argument..

And over the past month SHE asked to marry! She seems to have a real urgecy about this.. Basically, "marry or split." She has also said a while ago that her parents will go back to Isan soon, & she will need to find another place.. also saying how I should get a bigger apartment, etc..

This makes me question her true motives.....

Her history:

had 2-3 farang BFs who split on her after 3-6 months.. one of which asked her to marry, then never called her after he went home.. other was a butterfly. So i can understand her feelings a bit.

hmmm What's a guy to do ?

That read part gets much worse after marry. You can make a pol and I promise you'll have a 90% who agree

[Beardog]

Sounds like a not so rare case of loose wiring. Thailand is inbred with violent tendencies on television in the homes of the girls when they are growing up. If they get hot they or most will raise a hand to smack you down if they are displeased.

Although I am living with the same gal for almost 5 years now- I have played the field & you can find good sex anywhere- finding financial support maybe not. Your young time to get a roll on & say See You to the ultimatum miester!

I would keep the dog(if their was one) & ditch the girl. Lots of fish in the sea.

Roll the bones on a new one..................sounds like you already answered your own question.

Be prepared for a major beef when you bug out. Sounds like a classic case of loose wiring

[benjamat]

I know of many people in good, lasting relationships with the type of girl you descibe.

She is fiesty...do you want someone who just says Yes darling, Yes Darling all the time,?, or do you want someone who stands up for themselves as shows a bit of spirit. Sure, life won't be dull with this woman in your life.

The jealousy thing is absolutley normal , as has been already stated.

the thing that worries me is the "Marry or Split" ultimatum.

You just cannot agree to that...unless you really feel your life would not be worth living without her.

If I were in your shoes, I would be firm and tell her you will marry her when you are ready, not just because thats what SHE wants.

You really have got to let her know your feelings about this.

My Sons are all grown up, all in relationships, but will not marry...they saw what a balls up I made of my first three marriages

Under NO circumstances should your G/F be the one calling the shots here.

Good Luck

TP

BTW...I am very happy in my latest marriage to a Thai that has lasted 5 years so far...so it is possible to have a good marriage, but I decided when ...not the other way round

Absolutely correct, I do want someone who says yes most of the time and has an even placid temperament, why the hel_l would we ancient farangs want a life of conflict ?

[Shotime]

If someone described this girl to you five years ago, and asked "Would you marry someone like this, or keep looking?"

What would have been your answer?

Marriage is more about mental compatibility than superficial things. Beauty fades.

I love my wife...she's strikingly beautiful...but if she were to gain 300 pounds and develop warts over her entire body....I'd still love her.

Can you say the same?

I don't even know your wife?

Of course there's another side to the story. The question is who cares? Maybe they should see a pre-marriage therapist, and find out if they do get married, can they work through these control issues.

Edited October 10, 2008 by Shotime

[yabaaaa]

Think of it this way; Would you recommend smoking a cigarette while filling a vehicle with petrol?

TIT yes!!

[simon43]

I'll swap her for my ex any time. she sounds a real sweetie

Simon

[Huey]

I have had a Thai GF for about 6 months now.. stay together 3 days per week.. I am 32, she is 30. I have lived in bkk for 4 yrs.

She sells websites, which isn't such stable work for her..

Pros:

Stunning Beauty

Jai dee

Very Honest as far as I know

I believe she loves me

Very affectionate

Helps out with $ for food /entertainment all the time

Great sex

Cons:

Her unreal Temper that even she admits is over the top

Finds something to fight about every 3 weeks or so, which turns into her spewing sometimes vulgar/ abusive language towards me, which can last up to 5-12 hrs at a time! ( i do the opposite of this )

Super jealous of any female friends i have.. even thought i say we can all hang out and try to do this together.

super suspicious of all my actions, not to mention any friends SHE may still have.. ( she doesn't have many, admitting she isn't very friendly)

very arrogant, thinking she is always right.

Just tonight she said she felt bad about a problem at work, called me and wanted to meet after we talked, but i was feeling a little sick & said the next day is better. This apparently was not good enough for her.. which stated another argument..

And over the past month SHE asked to marry! She seems to have a real urgecy about this.. Basically, "marry or split." She has also said a while ago that her parents will go back to Isan soon, & she will need to find another place.. also saying how I should get a bigger apartment, etc..

This makes me question her true motives.....

Her history:

had 2-3 farang BFs who split on her after 3-6 months.. one of which asked her to marry, then never called her after he went home.. other was a butterfly. So i can understand her feelings a bit.

hmmm What's a guy to do ?

Walk, its really not a woman's place to ask a man to marry her. She can say look, I'm looking for a long term commitment, I want to be a WIFE not a girlfriend..something along those lines sure but its best if she doesn't ask that.

Also, she has horrible personality traits that will remain after all of her positive traits (mainly physical and sex related) will be long gone.

Get a younger sexier one with less attitude, less worry about the o'l bio clock ticking, and the good sense not to so vigorously harass her man about dumb sh*t like your current one is doing.

[Kerryd]

Holy shit. It's like you know me so well . .

You're so vain Bendix

"He's so vain.......he probably thinks this thread is about him..........he's so vain......." (Carly Simon, 1972)

But seriously, marry the girl !

I say this for entirely selfish reasons. If you marry her there's less chance I'll end up with her !