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The Off Topic Thread


bkkjames

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I am retiring from using this thread "off topic" as its OP is one complete AHMF. You guys can kick and scream all yo want.~ I know you will miss me dearly but I will not miss you what so ever.!! Its just the way it goes, just except it. And I will see you in one of the other threads.

Edited by RakJungTorlae
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I am retiring from using this thread "off topic" as its OP is one complete AHMF. You guys can kick and scream all yo want.~ I know you will miss me dearly but I will not miss you what so ever.!! Its just the way it goes, just except it. And I will see you in one of the other threads.

:o

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:D :D :D

1) I saw a fat woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said 'Thyroid problem?'

2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.

5) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

6) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.

8) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

9) S*x is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

11) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

13) You know that look women get when they want s*x? No, me neither

14) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

15) I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

16) Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before

Then there is always CAKE ??? :o

BT

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Somchai gets home late one night and his wife, Lek, says, "Where in the hel_l have you been?"

Somchai replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a thousand baht banknote on my willy," he said proudly.

"What the hel_l were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a thousand baht tattooed on his willy?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a few hundreds anytime you want."

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I was looking at Prison Break 4th season episode 11 (watched 10 before).

Then suddenly stopped and telling me I was already on Megavideo for 62 minutes and needed to wait an hour before I could watch Megavideo again.

Sock's, or is Socks?

:o

Edit: Started a new page again, amazing....

Edited by AlexLah
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