Children's Science Exam Answers:

[Cuban]

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g., abdomen)

A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean?

A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'

A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

[Goyave]

...

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

...

I don't know whether or not it is a voluntary typo, but it's a funny one as it!

[Cuban]

...large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

I thought that many 'answers' seemed to be inspired by what I guess were visual ques.

[Goyave]

...large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

I thought that many 'answers' seemed to be inspired by what I guess were visual ques.

Certainly, but the use of "flirtation" instead of "filtration" is funny too.