Question For The Ladies

Thank you all. Just trying to work out the best way of either adapting enough to handle it, or hopefully getting him to ease off doing it. Language wise, my Thai is passable, and his English is very good. Mostly we communicate in English, so although it may be hard for him to express himself in English, I suspect even if we did speak the same mother tongue, he isnt the expressive type. When he brushes me off like that it makes me feel like crap, and I hate how it brings out a needy side of me sometimes, where i begin to crave reassurance that all is ok. Im not a fan of unresolved conflict and like to have harmony. But its good to know at least that it may indeed be a cultural thing.

Something else I would like to ask about, is regarding affection. Before I do though, I dont mean it to sound like im complaining about everything. Im only bringing up the more negative sides rather than discussing the positives (of which there are many), purely because thats the side I wish to try gain understanding of. Sometimes he is very cool. Its hard to explain really. Then an occasional flood of closeness and affection. The lack of consistancy is weird to me. When he is like that I am learning to try just get on with my own thing (which is then often when he comes to me being sweet again). Arghh! Anyone recognise this also?

Dear Woonwai, first of all I'd like to say it's very interesting to read the ladies topic on this awesome website, where we can find much help and discussion. As I'm from the male side of life, I'd like to comment on the fact that the way you're explaining his behaviour is I believe quite a normal guys thing. At least, I would expect myself to be the same. I'm 24, working/living in Bangkok for 6 months and unfortunately didn't have an aweful lot experience with relationships yet, but I'm really really waiting the right one, and I just need one... , but I believe guys tend to be like that. I know that even with friends, family, etc. we like to have our emotional portion and closeness now and then, and then simply require our own space. It's kind of surprisingly actually, as I figured Thai guys to be more close than farang guys. I know some who are very emotional and socially close, at least who want to be... Anyways, if you detail in the matters a bit more, I can maybe help and clarify the matter a bit more, and maybe ask my thai friend (a guy), as we're interested in studying behaviours. (I'm struggling with my own emotional expressions as well, and so is everyone, might be your husband has unresolved personal issues from the past... )

Ones again great to hear these stories of farang females loving the Thai life.

Best Regards,

Cuno