Millennium Utopia Group

[Beachedwhale]

Brand new investment project in Koh Samui from Millennium Utopia Group (MUG)

No lies

No backing out of original agreement

No delays

No ugly construction shells littering the landscape.

No extra silt on the roads or need for speeding concrete trucks putting our lives at risk.

You get exactly what you paid for in the timeframe promised.

Price: THB1 million – paid up front, non-refundable.

What you get: Nothing - No villa, no club house, no communal pool, no services such as laundry, maid, gardening.

I personally take full responsibility for your funds, no third parties, no need for commissions. After the cheque has cleared, I spend it immediately on beer, food and holidays abroad or invest it in my kids education (depends how many investors I can find).

Throw your money away without the stress. Give it to me and let me worry about losing it or spending it.

This is a fast track way to spend your money and get nothing for it. Perfect for all of those people who thought they missed out on the boom in Koh Samui.

Limited to THB5 million per investor.

PM me to get my bank details.

PS. Invest before 1 January 2009 and get one limited edition t-shirt with the Millennium Utopia Group logo on it – MUG.

PPS: Business partners wanted to help me invest the money. Pay just THB500,000 for a 20% share in the business – only 10 partnership opportunities available - don't delay or I might have to get drunk on my own.

[samuibeachcomber]

"Tell me tell me tell me the answer...............where do i sign up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Pilchard]

Sounds to good to be true, what are the guaranteed monthly rental losses ?

How many championship tennis stadiums won't you be building ?

Do you have a time share option ?

[Beachedwhale]

Sounds to good to be true, what are the guaranteed monthly rental losses ?

How many championship tennis stadiums won't you be building ?

Do you have a time share option ?

You can sign up for 1 or 2 years meaning you lose the whole lot over either 12 or 24 months equating to either 8.33% per month loss going down to 4.16% for 2 years. We could offer longer terms but that would require me to drink slower, which is very hard to control.

No Stadiums. That way we have no construction, no construction delays, no erosion, no unfulfilled promises, plus we do not have to give anything away to someone to help us advertise our investment opportunity - therefore you know we are not wasting your hard earned money on other people who already have enough money of their own and can afford to pay full price for a house in paradise.

No time share - you get to enjoy the whole investment opportunity on your own for the full investment period, you do not need to share it with anyone else. Just come and find me in the bar and you can sit there alone and watch me spend your money - by all means friends and family are welcome to sit with you and provide comfort and support and watch your investment at work.

I will not promise to buy you a beer, but it has been known that once I have had sufficient I can sometimes be accused of buying a round of drinks, especially when it is not my money. So if you are there at the time, there is a slight chance of getting something back - but as per the contract, we are not legally bound to provide you with a drink and will not be responsible for any opportunities for a free drink that you might have missed out on blah, blah, blah.

We do however accept offers for you to buy us more drinks in the event it might make us more like friends and therefore make you happier that at least you know your mates are having fun at your expense. We are here to try and make your investment loss as stress free as possible.

[malcolmswaine]

LMAO

[JustCruising]

Won't work, competitions too stiff.......to many people already doing it!!

[mssabai]

Will my non existent villa be next to the non existent villa of a tennis pro?

[mattias33]

Thanks for the laught of the day beachedwhale!!! .

Have to say this idea with "stressfree loss of money" is something that the realestate investors should catch up on. Much easier than the other bs.

Now, i´m here to tell you that if you get too many investors, and simply can´t keep up, i´m looking for a job. And i´m a pretty ok beerdrinker.

[Beachedwhale]

Will my non existent villa be next to the non existent villa of a tennis pro?

We cannot guarantee that. We make no promises to do anything except spend your money and therefore cannot let you down.

However, once the beers are finished and we move on to tequila or B52's you never know what else might be dreamt up. We might even get "You know Who" here for a concert - just THB15,000 a ticket (20% off for MUG’s willing to wear their t-shirt), we might buy a helicopter to fly around the island and oversee our huge project… ooops got to go and have a beer as I am running out of ideas….

[Rooo]

Will my non existent villa be next to the non existent villa of a tennis pro?

We cannot guarantee that. We make no promises to do anything except spend your money and therefore cannot let you down.

However, once the beers are finished and we move on to tequila or B52's you never know what else might be dreamt up. We might even get "You know Who" here for a concert - just THB15,000 a ticket (20% off for MUG’s willing to wear their t-shirt), we might buy a helicopter to fly around the island and oversee our huge project… ooops got to go and have a beer as I am running out of ideas….

You forgot a Seaplane.

[PoorSucker]

How about a music festival.

[lazygourmet]

Will my non existent villa be next to the non existent villa of a tennis pro?

We cannot guarantee that. We make no promises to do anything except spend your money and therefore cannot let you down.

However, once the beers are finished and we move on to tequila or B52's you never know what else might be dreamt up. We might even get "You know Who" here for a concert - just THB15,000 a ticket (20% off for MUG's willing to wear their t-shirt), we might buy a helicopter to fly around the island and oversee our huge project… ooops got to go and have a beer as I am running out of ideas….

You forgot a Seaplane.

Like this one?!?

[Beachedwhale]

Special announcement - 50% sold out already, only 1,633 opportunities left.

Second Special Announcement: Buy now and for an extra THB99,000 get a guarantee of no title documents.

What a money saver and stress relief having no title documents can be. It is totally legal for a foreigner to have no title, you do not need a Thai partner, you do not even have to set up a Thai company and deal with lawyers, accountants and tax men. This is more than 99,000 baht in savings alone… but wait, there is more…

You will also never have to get excited thinking that your title document is coming at the next instalment only to be depressed when it is found you cannot have it. Pay now and never get a title, so no added stress and no let downs… but wait, there is even more…

Having no title document at all is 100% secure. You know for a fact it is not possible for the developer to put a mortgage against the title as there is no title … or even worse – to sign it over to a money lender at 3% a month interest which the developer is not able to meet and therefore the property gets seized. This is more than 99,000 baht worth of comfort.

And how did I get the price of THB99,000? I will not tell lies. I made it up.

But it also is a very good number because 9 is a lucky number in Thailand. Also, some marketing Guru once told me it was better to have 99,000 instead of a 100,000 as it seems much less (I didn’t want to point out to the Guru that it does not take a Guru to know that 99 is in fact less than 100, but never mind).

It also happens to be the amount I need for next term for my 2 kids to go to one of the great Samui educational establishments. THB99,000 will cover the fees, new uniforms, new shoes, the meals, some books, some gasoline (it is not enough for the minibus service) and potentially enough for a couple of beers.

So jump in now and we will throw in a “new” t-shirt ... with the term “new MUG” printed on it… come on help me find the money for my next beer.

[JustCruising]

If you decide to spank the money on a festival on this tiny island don't forget to make sure it lasts twice as long as any other....Like the idea of a seaplane as they can't really land anywhere, good waste of cash. Can investors fly it anywhere they like without telling anyone or only your company will get the full use of it?

[Kan Win]

Special announcement - 50% sold out already, only 1,633 opportunities left.

Second Special Announcement: Buy now and for an extra THB99,000 get a guarantee of no title documents.

What a money saver and stress relief having no title documents can be. It is totally legal for a foreigner to have no title, you do not need a Thai partner, you do not even have to set up a Thai company and deal with lawyers, accountants and tax men. This is more than 99,000 baht in savings alone… but wait, there is more…

<snip>

I bought and look at me now

And me miss-use just had her

whilst me Aunty just shot the cat for her luncheon

Granny had to

and Gran-paa was not on a fiddle with this one, but played accord-ingly

Uncle Albert was left

Shirt-less

Other very distant family folks took a different view of this "great new project"

so as this is really good news for us all "Beachedwhale" has to fill his tank up

as for myself, Koh Samui is still a great place to invest

Yours truly

Kan Win

[lazygourmet]

Kan Win, thank you : Brilliant...

You should visit Groland mag-zine ; yeah sorry it's in french but sure you'll appreciate

[PoorSucker]

Is the elite card included??

[Mark Wolfe]

Beachedwhale, I am an elderly gentleman here in the Land of Sly Smiles on a retirement visa. I too have thought about owning a little piece of this unspoiled island, but am apprehensive about the requirements to actually own land here. I'm confused about all this, "Starting a business with seven Thai employees or something and then having all the voting rights or rigging the votes so that I am always like Steve Jobs" so that as a foreign devil, I can own the land.

Or is it that I can only "own" one of your fantasy villas for 30 years? Or is it 30 plus 30?

I just can't part with that kind of money, bargain basement that your offer is, without knowing that I can will this little sliver of heaven to my heirs, should I make any friends between now and when I die.

Thanks Kan Win for nicely sidetracking a hilarious thread. Interesting to see such a self-serving, off topic -- "Look at me! Look at me!" post.

[onlooker]

The thread has been open for three days and no one has yet suggested going to one of the forum sponsors for legal advise on buying in on 'Living the Dream'

Or does MUG have it's own in house law firm to help take care of annoying paperwork such as contracts, which detract buyers from the full enjoyment of perusing laminated brochures of images all with the accompanying '*Photograph not taken on site' and '*Artist's impression' or the ever popular '*Subject to change' disclaimers in small print beneath them.

The success of any project (in extracting deposits form clients) is directly related to the money spent on designing their logo and brochure.

[Beachedwhale]

Is the elite card included??

We did consider the Thailand Elite card and while it does have significant benefits, we decided not to use it on the following basis:

According to the Thailand Elite website the following list sets out the Qualifications of the Applicant/the Member necessary to obtain the card:

1. Being sui juris under Thai law and be at the age of or over 20 years old;

2. Being allowed to stay in Thailand in accordance with the immigration laws or any related law of Thailand;

3. Not being a Thai citizen or the foreigner who have obtained a permanent residency status in Thailand;

4. Not having been sentenced by a judgment to imprisonment in any countries except for an offence committed through negligence;

5. Not having been adjudicated bankrupt; and

6. Not having been declared as a person of unsound mind, incompetence, or quasi-incompetence.

Aside from the fact there are some words in there that we do not understand, we felt that these qualifications were too restrictive for our client base – especially item 6. Not being declared as a person of unsound mind, incompetence, or quasi-incompetence ... this would potentially take away a large part of our target market.

Not to mention the fact there is a developer already on the Island offering the card and they have things like “guaranteed homes” and “title Insurance” which is not necessary for our development – we guarantee nothing, and certainly do not have any titles (assuming you pay the extra THB99,000).

And also, not to mention the fact it was started by a divorced, exiled, criminal who incidentally would potentially not qualify for the card under clause 4 even when he gets his Barbados passport.

And also, the person that set up the card is now under investigation by the FBI for bribery and we believe it is not appropriate to bring such high level interest into our small little development.

We want to keep things simple. Pay your money, get no stress, no expectations and no last minute let-downs. You don't need a card for that - it's priceless.

[Beachedwhale]

The thread has been open for three days and no one has yet suggested going to one of the forum sponsors for legal advise on buying in on 'Living the Dream'

Or does MUG have it's own in house law firm to help take care of annoying paperwork such as contracts, which detract buyers from the full enjoyment of perusing laminated brochures of images all with the accompanying '*Photograph not taken on site' and '*Artist's impression' or the ever popular '*Subject to change' disclaimers in small print beneath them.

The success of any project (in extracting deposits form clients) is directly related to the money spent on designing their logo and brochure.

We spare no expense on legal work - we use Wikipedia which is free for finding out legal terms like the one in Thailand elite:

In civil law the phrase sui juris indicates legal competence, the capacity to manage one’s own affairs. ... and now I know what it means, I certainly do not want to be associated with Thailand Elite - I want customers who let me manage their affairs ("money") and certainly would not want anyone more competent than me.

No contracts = no translation cost + no lawyers + no company set ups + saves some trees.

That marketing guru also told me that "word of mouth" is one of the most trusted forms of advertising so please mention the project to your friends - and take advantage of the "introduce a friend" offer - introduce a friend and get a free stay cat or stray dog. Not only are you helping Koh Samui eradicate the strays, I read somewhere that people with pets have less chance of stress related heart attacks (we honestly do care about your health).

Our logo is very simple – a Coffee Mug, with a hole in the bottom. This truly represents our values:

No matter how much you pour into it, we will always take more, and you will never get to have any of it.

[Beachedwhale]

Beachedwhale, I am an elderly gentleman here in the Land of Sly Smiles on a retirement visa. I too have thought about owning a little piece of this unspoiled island, but am apprehensive about the requirements to actually own land here. I'm confused about all this, "Starting a business with seven Thai employees or something and then having all the voting rights or rigging the votes so that I am always like Steve Jobs" so that as a foreign devil, I can own the land.

Or is it that I can only "own" one of your fantasy villas for 30 years? Or is it 30 plus 30?

I just can't part with that kind of money, bargain basement that your offer is, without knowing that I can will this little sliver of heaven to my heirs, should I make any friends between now and when I die.

Dear Mark.

Thank you for your interest in Millenium Utopia Group - one of the oldest and most respected developers on Koh Samui.

You can own it for as long as you like - "up to you". As we have no titles or contracts it is best that you put the full details in your will as we will probably not be sober enough to find your heirs, and actually probably wont even notice your passing unless you happen to be in the bar at the time.

We should meet up to discuss the transfer of your savings into my beer account, but we have a policy of not making any appointments or handing out our mobile phone number. That way we can never be accused of missing an appointment, not answering calls or not returning calls. It is totally up to you to find me. If you make the deposit first, it will certainly make it easier for you to find me as I will be in a bar for a few days in a row and some of the time I might actually be having a quiet sleep in the corner - just ask the bar staff if they have seen a "foreign MUG, spending a lot on beer, making loud noises, abusing the staff and some other foreigners, possibly making a mess and then sleeping it off" - I am certain there are not many people like that in Samui.