Friends And Money

[maccaroni man]

my friend an older woman, not too attrative, who leans towards being a free spirit hippie and has spent most of her life on the dole went to kpg and met a thai boy whom she has now fallen in love with. He's bled her for all her money spending it on who knows what besides women and booze until she is now broke. She came to me for a loan to pay her rent. When I suggest that she change her situation all she could say is, i love the freedom of kpg and i know he loves me. I did not give her the money, am I wrong?

[mattias33]

my friend an older woman, not too attrative, who leans towards being a free spirit hippie and has spent most of her life on the dole went to kpg and met a thai boy whom she has now fallen in love with. He's bled her for all her money spending it on who knows what besides women and booze until she is now broke. She came to me for a loan to pay her rent. When I suggest that she change her situation all she could say is, i love the freedom of kpg and i know he loves me. I did not give her the money, am I wrong?

No your not wrong. Tell her to leave the island and him. Get a job and get back to the real world. Kpg is a party island for tourists. Its not a life to live in the longrun. Smoking weed and being free spirit is ok for holiday, not life. And living on borrowing money from friends? You give her the loan and the thaiman will spend it on women and booze.

If you want to help her, force her to leave.

[mistresserika]

my friend an older woman, not too attrative, who leans towards being a free spirit hippie and has spent most of her life on the dole went to kpg and met a thai boy whom she has now fallen in love with. He's bled her for all her money spending it on who knows what besides women and booze until she is now broke. She came to me for a loan to pay her rent. When I suggest that she change her situation all she could say is, i love the freedom of kpg and i know he loves me. I did not give her the money, am I wrong?

You are perfectly correct not to give her the money. I true friend will never ask to borrow any.

Edited November 22, 2008 by mistresserika

[eljeque]

Help her by buying a ticket to return to her country.

She is no different than the many men who come here every year, and spend until the money is gone and shortly thereafter, so is the girl.

[mistresserika]

Help her by buying a ticket to return to her country.

She is no different than the many men who come here every year, and spend until the money is gone and shortly thereafter, so is the girl.

We don't know if this older lady is Thai, or non-Thai.!!

[maccaroni man]

Help her by buying a ticket to return to her country.

She is no different than the many men who come here every year, and spend until the money is gone and shortly thereafter, so is the girl.

We don't know if this older lady is Thai, or non-Thai.!!

well she is from the UK hence so much time on the dole, claims to have medical reasons for not working so she has a form of steady income.

I am just amazed at how a woman who has been around the corner can be so foolish or is it the thai guys are that good?

[mattias33]

We don't know if this older lady is Thai, or non-Thai.!!

You´re right. I just took an assumption out of the wild when op says "an older not attractive woman fell in love with a Thai boy".

If you are old an unattractive these sexy, low bodyfat Thaiboys is off course tempting. If it was my friend i would try to explain that first of all, every thai man has a mistress, theres even a word for it, its a mia noi, the second wife. In the case were Thai men marry older western women (maybe not all of the cases but all i´ve seen) its because of money. They take the money from the old women and have fun with the mia noi.

However, it will solve itself since the thaiboy soon will leave now when the money is finished.

Buy your friend a ticket to her homecountry as already said. Thats the best help.

[Shotime]

Her choices, I can understand. Her mistake is spending all her money. Is she destitute? If you're a friend, you need to get her out of her present situation. If she won't listen, you have to cut her loose.

[maccaroni man]

Her choices, I can understand. Her mistake is spending all her money. Is she destitute? If you're a friend, you need to get her out of her present situation. If she won't listen, you have to cut her loose.

i think your right but it has always rubbed me wrong when i see people finding ways to bleed the system and then feel entitled to free money. I don't want to slag her but i don't want to rescue her either. she's made her bed now she can live with the bugs

[Boo]

If she is from Uk & claiming benefits then she is a benefits cheat as she should be living in the UK to receive these. I's say if she is old enough to know better then offer her the ticket back to the UK & put her on the plane to BKK (if you are inclined to & can afford to). Nothing more.

Mattias, is that "all thai men have mia nois & are with older farang women for money" the same way that "all thai women with farang have a thai bf on the side? " You need to keep your prejudices (all of them) off this forum please.

[mattias33]

Mattias, is that "all thai men have mia nois & are with older farang women for money" the same way that "all thai women with farang have a thai bf on the side? " You need to keep your prejudices (all of them) off this forum please

Ok, call it prejudices if you want, but i think mia noi is a bit more common than "poa noi". I never met any thaigirl that is cheating on her farang bf, but all thaimen i know with farang gf are cheating on them. I didnt mean it in any bad or provocing way at all, it is just the impression i got during my years in Thailand.

I can be completely wrong offcourse. But it is still my impression.

[bophutbob]

If she is from Uk & claiming benefits then she is a benefits cheat as she should be living in the UK to receive these. I's say if she is old enough to know better then offer her the ticket back to the UK & put her on the plane to BKK (if you are inclined to & can afford to). Nothing more.

Mattias, is that "all thai men have mia nois & are with older farang women for money" the same way that "all thai women with farang have a thai bf on the side? " You need to keep your prejudices (all of them) off this forum please.

Well spoken and i 2nd all that you have said

well enough to travel well enough to party -well enough to get a job and not de fraud honest tax payers .

[Lite Beer]

How many Thai men do you know Mattias?

And is your experience of Thailand based solely on Samui.

Where I live I do not know any Thai men with Mia Nois.

[Shotime]

No prejudices. Maybe the "all" or "In all cases..." is wrong, but, in some cases it's exactly the same. However, when someone tries to say that the same thing does happen to farang women, they are met with dumbfounded replies from women on these forums. Like it doesn't happen to farang women, and that some farang women aren't here for the same reason some farang men are here. I totally agree with you. Keep your prejudices to yourself.

[nod]

Usually (though not always) two things happen when you lend money to a friend:

1) You lose the money.

2) You lose the friend.

It has cost me a fortune and many friends to find this out! Now, I will feed, put a roof over the head of etc. but never lend money to a friend. It sometimes seems harsh but saves a lot of heartache.

Cheers!

[nod]

PS. I know loads of Thai women that cheat on their Farang boyfriend "when the cat's away". Where have you been if you did not know this!

Cheers.

[sbk]

Usually (though not always) two things happen when you lend money to a friend:

1) You lose the money.

2) You lose the friend.

It has cost me a fortune and many friends to find this out! Now, I will feed, put a roof over the head of etc. but never lend money to a friend. It sometimes seems harsh but saves a lot of heartache.

Cheers!

Sad but true.

Maccaroni man, you are doing this woman no favors whatsoever by loaning her money. And you will most definitely be doing yourself no favors either.

[mattias33]

PS. I know loads of Thai women that cheat on their Farang boyfriend "when the cat's away". Where have you been if you did not know this!

Cheers.

Ok, that off topic discussion came out wrong from me. Thai gf should be Thai wife for instans. My off topic point where that i actually don´t know any Thai women that are cheating on their farang husbands. However i know very many Thai "gf" who cry at the airport when there 3 week /year visiting western bf tourist go home, but 3 hours later have a new one. .

For the op i think every poster so far agreed on one thing: Dont give her money.

[BusyBee123]

how do you bleed someone on the dole dry then? If she gets a regular income from the spongers office then she should learn to budget and not get a loan from you.

[Lite Beer]

Off Topic posts deleted.

[QED]

Mattias, is that "all thai men have mia nois & are with older farang women for money" the same way that "all thai women with farang have a thai bf on the side? " You need to keep your prejudices (all of them) off this forum please

Ok, call it prejudices if you want, but i think mia noi is a bit more common than "poa noi". I never met any thaigirl that is cheating on her farang bf, but all thaimen i know with farang gf are cheating on them. I didnt mean it in any bad or provocing way at all, it is just the impression i got during my years in Thailand.

I can be completely wrong offcourse. But it is still my impression.

Funniest thing I have read in years, keep it up please

[maccaroni man]

If she is from Uk & claiming benefits then she is a benefits cheat as she should be living in the UK to receive these.

I's say if she is old enough to know better then offer her the ticket back to the UK & put her on the plane to BKK (if you are inclined to & can afford to). Nothing more.

Mattias, is that "all thai men have mia nois & are with older farang women for money" the same way that "all thai women with farang have a thai bf on the side? " You need to keep your prejudices (all of them) off this forum please.

I agree but if that were the case many of the expats living in kpg and samui would be gone even the drug dealer from the banditos gang was found to be on the dole

which is a part of the problem she has found many kindred spirits on kpg who all feel entitled to free money which makes her reluctant to leave.

[koheesti]

Off Topic posts deleted.

Then allow me to repeat the part of my post that was ON TOPIC,... The situation with the farang woman laid out by the OP is the same thing that happens on a much grander scale to farang men. It is not a generalisation, it is a fact of life in Thailand. And it is a trade-off that many of us are more than happy to make. Well, not me but everyone here knows people that this does happen to. I wouldn't be surprised if it made up around 5% of Thai GDP.

[koheesti]

which is a part of the problem she has found many kindred spirits on kpg who all feel entitled to free money which makes her reluctant to leave.

Now you're just generalising - be careful.

[maccaroni man]

How many Thai men do you know Mattias?

And

is your experience of Thailand based solely on Samui.

Where I live I do not know any Thai men with Mia Nois.

I think the concept of the minor wife has been a part of the thai culture since the early years when certain people were known to have 1000 wives. this is not something found simply in tourist areas, i do not want to be seen as thai bashing but it is a thing more than a western thing and until recent history it was widley accepted for men to have minor wifes. it is the WASP mentality that frowns upon this

[maccaroni man]

which is a part of the problem she has found many kindred spirits on kpg who all feel entitled to free money which makes her reluctant to leave.

Now you're just generalising - be careful.

how do you see that, it is a fact she kas fallen into a gruop of free loaders as a support group

[koheesti]

which is a part of the problem she has found many kindred spirits on kpg who all feel entitled to free money which makes her reluctant to leave.

Now you're just generalising - be careful.

how do you see that, it is a fact she kas fallen into a gruop of free loaders as a support group

Everyone knows about KPG reputation for being a haven for ex-hippy freeloaders (and I guess bikers now). I just got the impression from your post that they make up the vast majority of farang living there. Forgive me if I misunderstood. Some freeloaders actually have access to their own cash, they'd just rather spend someone else's - for instance the taxpayer's of their home country. I bet there is even a Swede or two around doing the same thing so it's not just the Brits.

[angiud]

(and I guess bikers now)

??

[girlx]

i have met sooo many people of the OP's description on the 4 years i lived on KPG... it is part of the reason i left the island. some nice people there, some that are there legitimately doing their own thing, but far more there just mooching around, expecting other farangs (and even locals) to support them, and getting involved with the scumbag beach boys and staying way past their welcome and financial ability. DO NOT loan these people money unless it is to get them away and back home. most of them will just spend it on beer and drugs anyway and then be pissed off at you when you won't loan them more. i agree with whoever said if it is your real friend, don't be above giving them a place to sleep and food until they can get on their feet, but loaning money will only cause you grief in the end.

[maccaroni man]

i have met sooo many people of the OP's description on the 4 years i lived on KPG... it is part of the reason i left the island. some nice people there, some that are there legitimately doing their own thing, but far more there just mooching around, expecting other farangs (and even locals) to support them, and getting involved with the scumbag beach boys and staying way past their welcome and financial ability. DO NOT loan these people money unless it is to get them away and back home. most of them will just spend it on beer and drugs anyway and then be pissed off at you when you won't loan them more. i agree with whoever said if it is your real friend, don't be above giving them a place to sleep and food until they can get on their feet, but loaning money will only cause you grief in the end.

wow girlx that is the best post i have read yet.