How Much Time Between Dating And Living Together.

[Radius]

I am sure many of you went through this.

You know how it goes:

You go to Thailand from far away (at least 10 hours in the airplane).

Meet this wonderfull women (or man).

Fall in love.

And then what?

You go to Thailand several times in 1 year.

And you are still in love.

Let us assume it is true love and it is the same from both sides.

Beeing apart is terrible.

You cry when you say goodbye.

You must be together.

So you decide to live together. Either country is fine as long as you are together.

You (maybe) marry and live happely ever after (at least, that is the plan).

But how much time did you take for this decision?

And was that too fast or could it have been faster?

What did you have to give up? In other words, how big was the risk you took?

And last but not least: was it the right decision?

Edited December 16, 2008 by Radius

[sassienie]

I am sure many of you went through this.

You know how it goes:

You go to Thailand from far away (at least 10 hours in the airplane).

Meet this wonderfull women (or man).

Fall in love.

And then what?

You go to Thailand several times in 1 year.

And you are still in love.

Let us assume it is true love and it is the same from both sides.

Beeing apart is terrible.

You cry when you say goodbye.

You must be together.

So you decide to live together. Either country is fine as long as you are together.

You (maybe) marry and live happely ever after (at least, that is the plan).

But how much time did you take for this decision?

And was that too fast or could it have been faster?

What did you have to give up? In other words, how big was the risk you took?

And last but not least: was it the right decision?

How long is a piece of string?

It depends on your situation, on the girl`s situation, how much trust in the relationship, how you both feel about each other and what you both prefer to do.

Edited December 16, 2008 by sassienie

[Radius]

How long is a piece of string?

It depends on your situation, on the girl`s situation, how much trust in the relationship, how you both feel about each other and what you both prefer to do.

I think I described the feeling and the level of trust.

Maybe I asked the wrong question. Maybe I should have asked: What made you sure?

I am just looking for a few (good) stories. Nothing too deep. Just simple stories.

[thesunset75]

We know each other on internet, chated and loaded of pics we both have seen and webcam - sms - phone calls almost everyday for about 4-5 months.

Everything about us so click !

He stop his business cause doesnt go very well.

On new year eve 2006 we met in person and spent times together for 2 weeks. Went to Samui for a week and to visited my family and friends.

After that trip he went to BKK agian on Febuary 2007 for 3 weeks then June 2007 a month and also month in December 2007 - Jan 2008.

Febuary 2008 me and my son moved here.

Now we are happy together and he love my son a lots as his own.

Oh and this 31 Dec we will have 2 years aniversary.

Simple ?

Good luck to you both

Edited December 16, 2008 by thesunset75

[Radius]

Thank you thesunset75. That is indeed the kind of simple story I am loking for.

But I am missing one important part. What did you leave behind. What did you let go to be with the love of your life.

What was the risk you took?

Extra info about me: I am not on this 'decision moment' at this time. But it will come and I like to think ahead.

If this decision needs to be taken I will put my job and house at risk. This means risking (in the worst case scenario) total poverty while beeing in a very different country then my own.

If the decision is that she comes to me. Then she takes the same risk. Which is just as difficult.

Edited December 16, 2008 by Radius

[thesunset75]

Thank you thesunset75. That is indeed the kind of simple story I am loking for.

But I am missing one important part. What did you leave behind. What did you let go to be with the love of your life.

What was the risk you took?

Extra info about me: I am not on this 'decision moment' at this time. But it will come and I like to think ahead.

If this decision needs to be taken I will put my job and house at risk. This means risking (in the worst case scenario) total poverty while beeing in a very different country then my own.

If the decision is that she comes to me. Then she takes the same risk. Which is just as difficult.

For me, as I planed to move to US before, but then many things happned so I canceled.

Of course risk for woman is more than a man to move...really big step and I have my son so if something goes wrong it will be a big big mistake.

As we both agrees not to live in Thailand cause it would be difficult for him to find a job what he relate to and amount of incomes.

And for my son education, now we really happy that made a great move and passed the bigest step.

I gave up my land and houses down south, selling my rubber plantage to start a new life here with him.

Lucky my son and him can go along very well and we handle a new things here pretty fast.

[sassienie]

Take a look at my thread here:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Sassienie-Fa...-R-t222161.html

If none of this applies to you, than the relationship is in with a chance.

[Radius]

Take a look at my thread here:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Sassienie-Fa...-R-t222161.html

If none of this applies to you, than the relationship is in with a chance.

Not an answer to the question and I covered all that with one simple line in my OP:

Let us assume it is true love and it is the same from both sides.

So quit with the pessimism please. I am far beyond that stage allready.

Edited December 16, 2008 by Radius

[torrenova]

Years ago I advocated staying in Thailand, now I advocate the opposite. I only retain my former view if the Thai partner is older. The younger she is, the more need there is to get her out of Thailand. There is just too much crap going on. Perhaps the only scenario where it would work when younger would be if both parties were working in normal jobs. When it comes to early retirees and owning businesses I think there is too much of an imbalance in work schedules and free time.

I've moved countries and continents before and without a family I would again. However, I would move a young partner out of Thailand but probably move back at some later stage in life.

[Mosha]

My wifes cousin attended a monk making ceremony at our house. She was divorced, and met a widower. She returned home to NST to clear a few things up, and returned to stay with her family here until she felt comfortable with him. That took about 3 months.

My wife and I lived together for 6 months, just to make sure we were not going to kill each other. We have been married for 5.5 years now. Like people have said, it depends on the situation.

[Newguy70]

How do you know how deep the waters is, if you don't dive in. Follow you heart, and live life.

Change is the only contstant thing in life, take a leap! Or not

The thing with "or not"; You will always wonder about "What if"!

[bonobo]

There is no set time. Each and every relationship is different.

"Too fast' is if you move together and find out you really should not have because you did not know each other yet and did not find out you relaly were not compatible.

"Too slow" is when you are compatible and you lost valuable time where both of you could have been happy together.

I know a couple who met on a Friday night at the Holiday Inn dance floor and married on Sunday. That was 25 years and four children ago. Yet other couples know each other for years before moving in with each other but still divorce shortly after finally getting married.

One hour or ten years, it really doesn't matter. What matters is what both of you feel.

[Goyave]

Years ago I advocated staying in Thailand, now I advocate the opposite. I only retain my former view if the Thai partner is older. The younger she is, the more need there is to get her out of Thailand. There is just too much crap going on. Perhaps the only scenario where it would work when younger would be if both parties were working in normal jobs. When it comes to early retirees and owning businesses I think there is too much of an imbalance in work schedules and free time.

I've moved countries and continents before and without a family I would again. However, I would move a young partner out of Thailand but probably move back at some later stage in life.

I agree 100% with torrenova on this one!

[Radius]

Thank you torrenova,

a different subject, but an interesting view anyway.

Mosha

3 to 6 months. Just about the time I had in mind to try something. No surity of the outcome, but a good way to start.

The problem is offcourse that one of us will possibly loose their job if we do this in either country.

And then there is the Thai cultural thing. It is difficult for her to do this because of cultural reasons and it is difficult for me because of money reasons. But both problems can have a solution.

Newguy70

I do agree with that, but I also like to 'feel' the water before I jump in. I like to know that it is not ice cold or boiling hot.

It is difficult for me to do something like just jumping in. I am trying to find out how and when to take the plunge without beeing a blind fool. If I would go 100% by my feeling(s) I would be in LOS right now.

Keep the stories coming, This is actually helping.

Edited December 17, 2008 by Radius

[mmushr00m]

But how much time did you take for this decision?

From when we met until I moved here was 5years. Decided after year 2-3, the remainder was planning.

And was that too fast or could it have been faster?

With hindsight, couldve been faster. But it did give both of us a chance to grow up (Im not a geezer although there is nothing wrong with being geezerly). So hard to say.

What did you have to give up? In other words, how big was the risk you took?

BIG risk. Walked away from career which paid alot of $$ for not doing much. And of course from family and friends. Basically walked away from everything. Didnt burn bridges though.

And last but not least: was it the right decision?

YES. couldve done somethings differntly but YES.

[yabaaaa]

I am sure many of you went through this.

You know how it goes:

You go to Thailand from far away (at least 10 hours in the airplane).

Meet this wonderfull women (or man).

Fall in love.

And then what?

You go to Thailand several times in 1 year.

And you are still in love.

Let us assume it is true love and it is the same from both sides.

Beeing apart is terrible.

You cry when you say goodbye.

You must be together.

So you decide to live together. Either country is fine as long as you are together.

You (maybe) marry and live happely ever after (at least, that is the plan).

But how much time did you take for this decision?

And was that too fast or could it have been faster?

What did you have to give up? In other words, how big was the risk you took?

And last but not least: was it the right decision?

Cripes Im surprised you even have to ask, things must be difficult in your mind that you have to ask a forum. Did she say "Hi Honey" or any "Handsome Man" stuff? if so about 30 seconds should be long enough!! Any other woman who knows??????

[Radius]

Cripes Im surprised you even have to ask, things must be difficult in your mind that you have to ask a forum. Did she say "Hi Honey" or any "Handsome Man" stuff? if so about 30 seconds should be long enough!! Any other woman who knows??????

What are you rambling about?

Look at the answer I gave sassienie. It applies to you as well.

[yabaaaa]

Cripes Im surprised you even have to ask, things must be difficult in your mind that you have to ask a forum. Did she say "Hi Honey" or any "Handsome Man" stuff? if so about 30 seconds should be long enough!! Any other woman who knows??????

What are you rambling about?

Look at the answer I gave sassienie. It applies to you as well.

YOUR post says how much time between dating and living together, so what are you rambling about? I made my decision after 30 seconds you seem to want to take years........ up to you , but you asked the question "how long" I gave my answer what's the problem?

[sharecropper]

I think the whole debate can be summarised or reduced to three simple words - "up to you"!