When Your Serious Relationship With Your Thai Gf Fails...

[Lopburi99]

Many farang/Thai relationships succeed,but many fail. Sometimes the language difficulty and/or cultural differences are too great for the relationship to survive and flourish over time.

When your serious relationship failed, did you avoid another at all costs? If yes, were your subsequent casual relationships satisfying or frustrating?

[NanLaew]

Divorced the first (Thai) after 7 years (3 years of that was separation) and played the field in the US and Brazil. Engaged (American) for a year about 7 years after the divorce. Longest girfriend relationship (Brazilian) was about 12 months, that was a couple of years after the end of engagement. Married (Thai) a couple of years ago.

I was happily married, then happy playing the field, happy to be engaged, happy playing the field again and now happily married again. I enjoyed the dating but I reckon marital companionship is much more fulfilling.

Cultural differences didn't amount to much of a problem, I am the consumate xenophile.

[wolfmanjack]

this is my first marriage but my previous serious relationship failed because i caught her screwing around. Nothing to do with cultural differences. It did not put me off dating. I learned a long time ago if you fall off the horse you have to get right back on and try again. If you don't then the horse has beaten you.

[NanLaew]

^ Hey! My ex did NOT look like a horse!

...but I did catch her shagging the lodger.

[imaneggspurt]

I think the same reply will relate to any race,,your choice,.

[NanLaew]

^ Maybe true but some of us of the ball-bearing disposition do get severely bent out of shape when love goes pear-shaped and turn into women haters to varying degrees and struggle with relationships. If we dig deeper, maybe the worst of those had less than perfect relationships with there mum or female siblings.

I love my mum, I love my sister, I loved my ex-, I love my wife... in fact I loved them all but I never let 'lost love' rent too much space inside my head.

[loong]

After previous relationship of 4 years went pear shaped I swore "Never again". I thought that we were happy together, but she came into some money and suddenly she started going out drinking, coming back in the small hours if at all. I obviously couldn't put up with that and the relationship came to an end.

I had some time alone with very short term relationships and i suppose i was happy enough. Then I met a girl that i had known for some time but not seen for a while. We always got on well before and started seeing each other. Trouble is when I first knew her, she could speak next to no english and was a very sweet young woman. Meantime she had been working in Pattaya and spent some time in Norway. She had changed a lot. We've been together for nearly 2 years now and her 3 year old daughter considers me her Father. It's not been easy, and I have thought many times of packing it all in. But it's a different matter when you have a (step)daughter, you have to be fair to her as well.

Now things are really good and I hope that they stay that way. I will put in the effort and I hope that she will as well.

If this one goes wrong I will say never again and I WILL mean it.

[G54]

After the first big relationship went tits up after 6 months or so due to cultural differences, (she wanted a lot more cash than I was prepared to consider for a previously married woman). I waited a few weeks before venturing out to seek another ladies acquaintance, keeping myself to myself while I observed and tried to learn more.

When the second relationship hit the skids in a big way after 5 months or so I made a few casual aquaintances along the way that I, erm, tried out

I was having a night out with 2 of these local ladies, holding hands, snuggling up close, dancing and having fun when the current g/f eyeballed me from the balcony and made her decision - crazy lady that she is - to have me.

Suspicious?

Yes, I was very suspicious of any of the new ladies I met and with justification. I was looked upon as an ATM by many.

One lady 'acquaintance' and her three friends came to a pub I was in and sat two tables away. One of the waitresses I got to know quite well - and I even bought flowers for to try and woo her - came over and advised me that the lady acquaintance in question and her friends acouple of tables away were talking of getting me to pay their bill. Nedless to say I left before they could try that one on.

On another night I entered the same establishment. I had been sat there 10 minutes or so when another of my lady acquaintances, her sister and a friend came and sat at my table with no invitation from me. This lady was a right pain in the a*s and would not take no for an answer (maybe I should not have bedded her. ). They brought their own whiskey over and I had noticed they had not yet paid the bill for that table. They began to order food from the menu and I saw a waitress taking note of my table number. I 'went to the toilet' and had a word with the waitress I know very well. Told her I wanted cheque bin for 1 and not for them too.

I saw the friendly waitress have a word with the 'security manager' who then spoke with the other staff tending my table and tables nearby. I got a nod from him and I carried on drinking for another 30 minutes or so before I got my bill and left to go elswhere.

The lady, her sister and friend followed me outside only to be nabbed by the staff. As I drove off into the night I could see a 'heated discussion' taking place.

The following night I was given the gist of what had happened. Seems they were not happy at having a bill to pay!!

Oh, the joys of life and love

I wonder who it was that a week later or so put a hole in the side wall of my front tyre?

Casual or Satisfying relationships?

Nah, Lopburi, they were just that. Casual. At least from my point of view. Though quite satisfying in relieving sexual frustrations

But never give up hope. Yes, I found it can be extremely frustrating trying to find a long term relationship where I and the lady in question could find some balance and honesty.

If I get another set-back I'll no doubt try again, though I do feel I am running out of options on the ladies front where I am.

Roll on 2009 and see what excitement that brings into my life!!!!

[Gravelrash]

If you are actively seeking a relationship you probably wont find one, or you will force a situation that should never have happened. Life seems to sort these things out at the appropriate time without much effort on our behalf.

[MSingh]

The cultural differences make a " Relationship ", as we are led to believe " Relationship's " should be in the West, virtually impossible..

Worst mistake of my Life ??

Getting involved with a Bar Girl & i'll have to live with that until the day my little Girl is old enough to be able to make her own decisions...

It's no coincidence that the vast majority of people in " Relationships " here & believe they're happy are Social Misfits in their own Countries with little or no chance of having a successful Relationship there..

[Chaimai]

The cultural differences make a " Relationship ", as we are led to believe " Relationship's " should be in the West, virtually impossible..

Worst mistake of my Life ??

Getting involved with a Bar Girl & i'll have to live with that until the day my little Girl is old enough to be able to make her own decisions...

It's no coincidence that the vast majority of people in " Relationships " here & believe they're happy are Social Misfits in their own Countries with little or no chance of having a successful Relationship there..

Whoa !!

Sweeping statement of the day award.

Suggests that your own failure followed many successful relationships in the west.

With that level of insecurity I can see why you wish for greater security for your family in 2009.

[neverdie]

Lopb99,

I reakon if this happens to me, I might just go and pick up that 46ft Yacht I've told you about before and start floating around the globe, passing thru all the good places....start taking care of No. 1 instead of everybody else. I'd probably get stuck in some places like The Maldives, the islands around Croatia, the waters around the Vietnam coastline, base of Thailand, the Greek Islands, the Whitsundays in Australia, Fiji, ohhh dont forget the waters around Italy and see a bit of the world before I let any other blood sucking shiela anywhere near me.

Naturally during my travels I would pick up the occassional sheila, so she could do a quick run around the yacht, tidy things up, prepare a few meals, any other lady type jobs I can think of etc etc...THEN SHE WOULD BE CAST OVERBOARD - No Exceptions!!! Then I would continue on sailing the high seas!!!!

You've gota be so careful in life, people keep taking slices of you and you keep giving them that & before you know it - theres nothing left.

Just remember, no matter where you go sheilas are all the same!

Keep smiling LOPB, you're a LONG time dead!

PS: Ladies wishing to make application for the yacht trip, please PM me with your qualifications.

[torrenova]

My experience suggests you can carry too much baggage from a failed relationship into the next one and you don't realise it at the time. Someone makes you feel better and brightens up your life and before you know it you have become an item and then, at some future time, when you finally have to come to terms with the previous relationship, you realise that the relationship you are in at that time is not based on a sound footing and was, for want of a better word, on the rebound. Getting straight back on the horse as one poster mentioned is not to be advised.

I've been through the mill a few times during my life and I'm at an age where I don't think I could be bothered to put up with more of the Thai bullshit that usually comes with a new relationship and back in the west I'd be faced with money grabbing women of an age who I found attractive or older ladies who have too much baggage and saggy bodies of their own for me to be attracted to them.

When you eventually dip your toe back in the water is a moot point. I guess very few of us would like to contemplate years or decades alone so I suppose that at some time, you do get back on a different horse. The exceptions are the truly broken or broken hearted men who just give up because they can never get over their past. Some people, at some time, love someone so much that separation, even through death, leaves them so disconsolate that they cannot get back on the horse or have no desire to, either for fear of being hurt again (better regular pain than another large dose) or because they cannot get over the previous relationship.

[khundon]

Lopb99,

I reakon if this happens to me, I might just go and pick up that 46ft Yacht I've told you about before and start floating around the globe, passing thru all the good places....start taking care of No. 1 instead of everybody else. I'd probably get stuck in some places like The Maldives, the islands around Croatia, the waters around the Vietnam coastline, base of Thailand, the Greek Islands, the Whitsundays in Australia, Fiji, ohhh dont forget the waters around Italy and see a bit of the world before I let any other blood sucking shiela anywhere near me.

Naturally during my travels I would pick up the occassional sheila, so she could do a quick run around the yacht, tidy things up, prepare a few meals, any other lady type jobs I can think of etc etc...THEN SHE WOULD BE CAST OVERBOARD - No Exceptions!!! Then I would continue on sailing the high seas!!!!

You've gota be so careful in life, people keep taking slices of you and you keep giving them that & before you know it - theres nothing left.

Just remember, no matter where you go sheilas are all the same!

Keep smiling LOPB, you're a LONG time dead!

PS: Ladies wishing to make application for the yacht trip, please PM me with your qualifications.

I would be willing to wear a bikini, if it got me a trip round the World. No funny stuff mind and I can't cook.

[freitag1]

It's no coincidence that the vast majority of people in " Relationships " here & believe they're happy are Social Misfits in their own Countries with little or no chance of having a successful Relationship there..

I agree. So many men (that means not everyone) rent women here and try to make a relationship out of it by telling themselves excuses why their women are like they are, need this and that or are unable to have an intelligent conversation with them. They create their own dreamworld and try to only see the sides they want to see while neglecting reality.

While I pity such people I can also understand their motivation to come here to end their loneliness. What would I do if I would be over 50, single or divorced, working a regular / low income job and without a chance of getting an attractive woman in my own country because I might be too fat, too poor, too ugly or whatever.

I would try everything to change this situation.

What makes dating in Thailand so difficult? Its the men who try to convince themselves that this young cute girl really loves them for what they are and not for their money / security they offer. So I would recommend keep on dating girls but stay realistic who you date.

Edited January 2, 2009 by freitag1

[MSingh]

The cultural differences make a " Relationship ", as we are led to believe " Relationship's " should be in the West, virtually impossible..

Worst mistake of my Life ??

Getting involved with a Bar Girl & i'll have to live with that until the day my little Girl is old enough to be able to make her own decisions...

It's no coincidence that the vast majority of people in " Relationships " here & believe they're happy are Social Misfits in their own Countries with little or no chance of having a successful Relationship there..

Whoa !!

Sweeping statement of the day award.

Suggests that your own failure followed many successful relationships in the west.

With that level of insecurity I can see why you wish for greater security for your family in 2009.

Why are you assuming that my relationship failed, in either Thailand or Home or both ??

& let's not get personal Sweetheart, Financial Security & what i wrote on a completely different thread has nothing to do with this thread in the slightest ok ??

[john1000]

It's no coincidence that the vast majority of people in " Relationships " here & believe they're happy are Social Misfits in their own Countries with little or no chance of having a successful Relationship there..

I agree. So many men (that means not everyone) rent women here and try to make a relationship out of it by telling themselves excuses why their women are like they are, need this and that or are unable to have an intelligent conversation with them. They create their own dreamworld and try to only see the sides they want to see while neglecting reality.

While I pity such people I can also understand their motivation to come here to end their loneliness. What would I do if I would be over 50, single or divorced, working a regular / low income job and without a chance of getting an attractive woman in my own country because I might be too fat, too poor, too ugly or whatever.

I would try everything to change this situation.

What makes dating in Thailand so difficult? Its the men who try to convince themselves that this young cute girl really loves them for what they are and not for their money / security they offer. So I would recommend keep on dating girls but stay realistic who you date.

Yes I agree but most over 50 ( me ) with half a brain would maintain a realistic approach. I would not want a young girl except ( If I was that way inclined) to empty the tanks.

I would like to meet someone after two failed marriages, but aware sufficiently to see things as they really are as I would imagine most guys are. ( not all brain dead)

Secrity; weather emotionaly ( men ) or women ( financially ) is just a catalyst.

[girlx]

i have found that farang-farang relationships can be just as difficult as thai-farang.... it just depends on the two individuals involved. there has to be an honest effort to understand, care for, and respect each other on both sides, and if not, then it will never work! unfortunately just because it is unlikely to work does not stop you from caring about a person, so it is difficult to look at things in black and white and it is in those gray areas that people get hurt. but i figure the more pies you put your finger into (no pun intended ) the more likely you are to find one that is just right for you. giving up and remaining stuck in the past or getting down on yourself will get you nowhere... but this is coming from someone who has taken a lot of punches and who optimistically keeps getting right back up and trying again. it is possible i am a masochist and stupid to boot. however i would like to think that some day it will work for me too.

[LadyPenelope]

PS: Ladies wishing to make application for the yacht trip, please PM me with your qualifications.

how big is your yacht?

[LadyHeather]

It's not necessarily the size of the yacht that matters but what he can do with the horsepower

Edited January 2, 2009 by LadyHeather

[neverdie]

PS: Ladies wishing to make application for the yacht trip, please PM me with your qualifications.

how big is your yacht?

Yes it doesnt matter about the size of the yacht, its how you sail it that matters. More importantly it is what 'rocks the captains boat' which is most important . My yacht in purchase is 46'7 long and we're not talking inches. As for the horsepower....ole uncle neverdie doesnt have too much horsepower left, tis been a hard life.

I have promised LopBuri99 a ride with me. Ladies are welcome BUT they will be cast overboard from time to time....normally when a certain ratio of boxing/nautical mile is met

The yacht (below) is beautiful - the captain is a ugly man - nb: that avatar has a striking similarity to the real neverdie.