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Did I Make A Big Cultural Mistake?


Baccusboy

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Hi,

Is there something about this that would make a woman from Myanmar angry?

http://www.myconfinedspace.com/?attachment_id=62435

I sent it as a photo attachment to my friend from Myanmar (who now lives in Australia). Actually, she was just on a list of several people I sent it to.

The last time we wrote to each other, we were giving each other life updates because we've both married since we last saw each other. She was all happy, and we were sending wedding photos back and forth. All was just normal -- so something in this photo must have angered her? I meant it to be funny.

Here is what she wrote back:

"I don't know understand why you sent this pictuers for me....!

You really want to say to me- fuc_k you.

But sorry i sent the wong messages for you- i think i sent to my friends but not my friends- you -i feel up sad to myself.

And you very angry to me- it so ok to me- if you think bad- no worry....

I hope not hear frome you again,

Take care,"

Is there something bad about that photo, from a SE Asian perspective?

Edited by Baccusboy
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If she is a Muslim, which she probably isn't, she would be offended by the dog. Other than that, I can only assume that there is something in Burmese culture about animals - there is nothing generically Asian, AFAIK, certainly my Thai wife loves the little furry buggers.

Edited by wamberal
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I think maybe it's because I haven't written to her in a while. Once she popped up in MSN chat and said hi (few months ago) but I was on my way out the door. I said I didn't have time to chat and had to go. Maybe she feels slighted because I didn't send any happy holidays card or anything, and I suddenly sent an e-mail to her that I sent to everyone else? Weird. Anyway.

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Rather than hand you a flippant or crude reply, I'd like to take your post a bit more seriously. Over the years of my experience in this part of the world, I have found a curious streak in some SE Asian women that causes them to reject the notion that they can actually improve their lot and pursue their dreams...of marrying a foreigner, starting a business, whatever that goal might be. I have been happily married to my Thai wife for 11 years, but indeed I had to help her overcome this same inner conflict of what is real and what could be. Like many mixed couples between two races and cultures, we had to fight a lot of naysayers and overcome many impediments in order to remain together...including my own government who rejected her visitor visa application three consecutive times (the fourth was approved :-)) It could be described as an inferiority complex, but many women allow themselves to go only so far towards reaching their dreams and then shut them down for fear that they are only deluding themselves and being taken as fools by their friends and family. Because women are far more social and sensitive animals then we are, most have shared these intimate aspirations and do not keep them bottled up inside as we tend to do. These same friends and family may attempt to convince the lady to give it up and 'get real'. It happens all the time, believe me and they are torn in between. In your present case, it may be simply due to insufficient interpersonal contact and reassurance. This works both ways of course, as you need reassurance from her as well that your feelings toward her will be reciprocated. In developing a relationship over on this side of the globe--perhaps as anywhere else--you need to maintain frequent, close contact and help your love interest overcome her innate feelings of worry and doubt. I am not a practicing pyschologist, but was trained as one with two postgraduate degrees....I would say that my thoughts have more to do with simply being on this planet longer and living with people all those years. Good luck if you decide to try to resurrect this relationship.

Edited by Fore Man
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there is a possibility that, because you did not send just the photos as direct email attachments, and she had to visit a LINK, her computer showed her something quite different to what you intended (due to malware, a browser cookie, etc). I would want to immediately confirm what she thinks you sent her.

another possibility- she visited a broken URL on that site, maybe copy pasted the link and missed the last number of the URL, so got redirected to the home page, and viewed some others user's pic, I see it shows the most recent on the homepage- could have been anything.

Edited by OxfordWill
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Rather than hand you a flippant or crude reply, I'd like to take your post a bit more seriously. Over the years of my experience in this part of the world, I have found a curious streak in some SE Asian women that causes them to reject the notion that they can actually improve their lot and pursue their dreams...of marrying a foreigner, starting a business, whatever that goal might be. I have been happily married to my Thai wife for 11 years, but indeed I had to help her overcome this same inner conflict of what is real and what could be.

-you need to maintain frequent, close contact and help your love interest overcome her innate feelings of worry and doubt. I am not a practicing pyschologist, but was trained as one with two postgraduate degrees....I would say that my thoughts have more to do with simply being on this planet longer and living with people all those years. Good luck if you decide to try to resurrect this relationship.

I'm not sure what you say is applicable here, but it's very true. Once you get to know a SE Asian woman, it's surprising how negative they can be about their dreams, and how that changes to what they think they deserve. You're the psychologist, but I would not want to delve too deep into the inner workings of their minds. I don't think it's too uncommon for them to take reality, and make it into some impossible dream. Then lash out when they're disappointed. This one example of male confusion as to what is going on inside a woman's head, is everything to do with what makes men crazy.

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She just doesn't have a sense of humor, simple as that. I'm not sure if that's you in the pic or not, but either way, she just didn't realize that it's just a funny pic of a guy trying to hold his pets together but the pets not being too pleased about the situation. Fore Man might be right that she felt like she wasn't getting enough contact from you and then just having a weird pic of animals sent to her might have made her angry, especially if she still had feelings for you. But back to the sense of humor- I've noticed that most Asians don't have much of one, especially if they're from ambitious urban families, like chinese-thais in bkk or any other asian city... who tend to be profoundly conservative, narrow-minded, and hel_l-bent on climbing the social ladder for the privilege of looking down on those beneath them. I'd think that if she was Burmese and presumably an immigrant to Thailand, she wouldn't be like that, and would be similar to the well-humored Isaan folk or something, but maybe not. Anyway, I thought it was a hilarous pic :o

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I've noticed that most Asians don't have much of one, especially if they're from ambitious urban families, like chinese-thais in bkk or any other asian city... who tend to be profoundly conservative, narrow-minded, and hel_l-bent on climbing the social ladder for the privilege of looking down on those beneath them.

with regard to the above statement, Svenn you couldnt have said it any better, dam_n they are a miserable lot! :o Your comment mirrors my thoughts exactly! well said!

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Hi,

Is there something about this that would make a woman from Myanmar angry?

http://www.myconfinedspace.com/?attachment_id=62435

I sent it as a photo attachment to my friend from Myanmar (who now lives in Australia). Actually, she was just on a list of several people I sent it to.

The last time we wrote to each other, we were giving each other life updates because we've both married since we last saw each other. She was all happy, and we were sending wedding photos back and forth. All was just normal -- so something in this photo must have angered her? I meant it to be funny.

Here is what she wrote back:

"I don't know understand why you sent this pictuers for me....!

You really want to say to me- fuc_k you.

But sorry i sent the wong messages for you- i think i sent to my friends but not my friends- you -i feel up sad to myself.

And you very angry to me- it so ok to me- if you think bad- no worry....

I hope not hear frome you again,

Take care,"

Is there something bad about that photo, from a SE Asian perspective?

do you mean burma?

please let never call it that other word- I would say that you seem like a decent person and are lucky to find out now that this lady has a few issue's

there is something in the Asian lady pyche about wishing to improve her station in life by marrying a foreigner,it is hard for em to explain, but a sort of inner conflict come's about

and this may be an expression of this

you have nothing wrong- and seem to have been a nice person, I would love this

I do not concern yourself with " the SE Asian perspective", wish her well and a sure you will have a littlle heartache's but in the long run it is the better for you

best wishes

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I may be totally off base here, but I wonder if it had something to do with the cartoon on the side "I'm wishing you were someone else". I don't know what your relationship with her was, maybe she saw that and took it as veiled slight. Just a thought.

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I may be totally off base here, but I wonder if it had something to do with the cartoon on the side "I'm wishing you were someone else". I don't know what your relationship with her was, maybe she saw that and took it as veiled slight. Just a thought.

You could be onto something there, it could all just be a huge misunderstanding.

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I just showed this to the young Myanmar woman who takes care of our office.  She laughed and thought it was funny.  So I don't think whatever was the problem was culturally-related.

...really?

-

Reasons?

Someone else's reply

Aversion to cats

Got wrong pictures

Along came a virus

Sudden eruption of deep emotions because she would like to be with you in the first place

Just recently knowing, that you are a TV member

Dirty thinking re last picture

...

...

Just ask her...without showing pictures

Edited by Birdman
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Who wants to see their friend tickling 3 pussies at the same time.... :o Kidding

... I agree with several other people, the link probably get screwed up and she got directed to some other inappropriate picture.

But seriously who flips out and "hopes not hear from you again" from looking at one picture?

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LOL the OP should be shot for sending such gay perverted animal pet photos to a lady. I don’t blame her for tripping out. And who ever took those photos should be banned for life from animals.

Take submaniac’s advice and take a snap shot of your wang, With a sorry letter. Then she be happy.

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To the untrained (perverted) eye it could appear that you're wearing nothing but a t-shirt and that you're giving it to the big cat in the middle. That, combined with the fact you're surrounded by 3 monitors with images of cats could be considered somewhat weird. She's probably wondering why with all those monitors you're not looking at porn like all her other male online friends. Also, the last picture looks a lot like the money-shot.

BTW, I showed it to my korean friend and she thought the dog looked tasty.

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