I Love My Thai Wife, But

[thaifever2007]

Like the topic says...I love my Thai wife. We've only been married a year. She is young, beautiful, fun to be around, and I think she loves me too. There is only one thing wrong. I miss Pattaya too much. I miss the beaches, warm weather, bar hopping, flirting with the bar girls, looking at all the beautiful Thai girls, getting drunk, and I must say, the feeling of power I get knowing I'm a rich falang (actually, I'm just your average American, but in Pattaya I feel like a superstar). My wife doesn't want me to go because she thinks I will cheat on her and she knows how drunk I get when I'm in Pattaya. I've assured her I will never cheat on her, I just want to go to have fun. Of course, I can go if I want, but it will hurt her feelings. I don't want to hurt her, but I'd like to go again someday. What's a guy to do?

[wileycoyote]

Listen to your wife to save your marriage!

[davyboy]

Like the topic says...I love my Thai wife. We've only been married a year. She is young, beautiful, fun to be around, and I think she loves me too. There is only one thing wrong. I miss Pattaya too much. I miss the beaches, warm weather, bar hopping, flirting with the bar girls, looking at all the beautiful Thai girls, getting drunk, and I must say, the feeling of power I get knowing I'm a rich falang (actually, I'm just your average American, but in Pattaya I feel like a superstar). My wife doesn't want me to go because she thinks I will cheat on her and she knows how drunk I get when I'm in Pattaya. I've assured her I will never cheat on her, I just want to go to have fun. Of course, I can go if I want, but it will hurt her feelings. I don't want to hurt her, but I'd like to go again someday. What's a guy to do?

[misterman21]

She obviously doesnt trust you - and she has, it seems, good reason - therefore she doesn't truly love you.

Read up on philosphy and you will understand that love without trust can not truly exist - FACT

[samuibeachcomber]

so where do you live thaifever...................in isaan? yes we all miss pattaya sometimes,but your wife knows the story.

[Pdaz]

Never ceases to amaze me how many guys come to Pattaya in search of the perfect hedonists lifestyle.. Like being a rich young playboy.. Girls, booze, parties and 24hrs a day if you want it..

Then after enjoying themselves for a few short Months they get loved up with a bar bird and revert to exactly the same boring married lifestyle they came to Thailand to escape from..

Guess it's worth taing time to consider the effect a woman will have on your lifestyle before commiting yourself

Edited January 18, 2009 by Pdaz

[samuibeachcomber]

as she what padz?

[kiwijor]

I love my Thai wife.

Take a tip from somebody who knows, your wish for "fun in Pattaya" shows how immature you are! who ever would like to "be with the Boys alone" in Pattaya or any where else, how would you feel if your wife say's "Ok, you can go, but I am going to Phuket with a few of the women in the Village?

A friend [ex USA], used to go every month to Pattaya with a car load of mates, just to catch up on some old flames! - he met up with one, slept with her [she had her two young children staying for the weekend too] and the next morning said" I'd like a car just like you bought your wife! - No way said he!

About 20 minutes later, the cops arrived and arrested him for sleeping with "and boomsing" the young daughter, after his wife back home had borrowed on herr land, he paid 1,000,000 baht and got ouit on bail, about three months later, he was charged, found guilty, and was put in Prison for ten years, his wife and family lost their land, House, Car, and he lost all his savings, great eh!

All in the name of a bit of Fun!!!!!!!

Next time, take the wife on a holiday somewhere, she and you will be much better off.

KiwiJor.

[samuibeachcomber]

very extreme case,is it actually true(a million baht!)paid it and still got 10 years gaol,hard to believe.

[misterman21]

Like the topic says...I love my Thai wife. We've only been married a year. She is young, beautiful, fun to be around, and I think she loves me too. There is only one thing wrong. I miss Pattaya too much. I miss the beaches, warm weather, bar hopping, flirting with the bar girls, looking at all the beautiful Thai girls, getting drunk, and I must say, the feeling of power I get knowing I'm a rich falang (actually, I'm just your average American, but in Pattaya I feel like a superstar). My wife doesn't want me to go because she thinks I will cheat on her and she knows how drunk I get when I'm in Pattaya. I've assured her I will never cheat on her, I just want to go to have fun. Of course, I can go if I want, but it will hurt her feelings. I don't want to hurt her, but I'd like to go again someday. What's a guy to do?

As you love the feeling of power - at such a low level - then you have a classic narcissistic personality. In other words a personality marked by self love and absorbtion; unrealistic views about your own qualities and little regard for others

[thaifever2007]

She obviously doesnt trust you - and she has, it seems, good reason - therefore she doesn't truly love you.

Read up on philosphy and you will understand that love without trust can not truly exist - FACT

Good point. I've known my wife for almost 3 years and married for almost one year. I think you are right, she doesn't trust me. She's seen me in action in Pattaya. I know this has been said a million times, "she's not a bar girl". She was working at the hotel I was staying at. I don't trust her 100% yet either. I send her mom 6000 baht/month and I've spent $2500 on land. Like they say "trust takes years to build and a second to destroy". Work in progress. I've read all the horror stories, so I know what to look out for.

[thaifever2007]

so where do you live thaifever...................in isaan? yes we all miss pattaya sometimes,but your wife knows the story.

America

[thaifever2007]

As you love the feeling of power - at such a low level - then you have a classic narcissistic personality. In other words a personality marked by self love and absorbtion; unrealistic views about your own qualities and little regard for others

I've wondered about that myself. Maybe I am narcissistic, I hope not, and I try not to be.

[misterman21]

As you love the feeling of power - at such a low level - then you have a classic narcissistic personality. In other words a personality marked by self love and absorbtion; unrealistic views about your own qualities and little regard for others

I've wondered about that myself. Maybe I am narcissistic, I hope not, and I try not to be.

Trying hard not to be is a classic symptom of double narcissism

PS you wont find the term 'double narcissism' in any dictionary - as I just made it up!

Edited January 18, 2009 by misterman21

[samuibeachcomber]

so where do you live thaifever...................in isaan? yes we all miss pattaya sometimes,but your wife knows the story.

America

and is your wife with you or back in thailand?if she's back in thailand,maybe thats why you are dreaming of pattaya

[tb86]

We've only been married a year. She is young, beautiful, fun to be around, and I think she loves me too. There is only one thing wrong

I hate to be the one to point this out, but you may have bigger problems than longing for the good old days hanging out with nasty pattaya bar girls. Your a married man like it or not those days are over.

[samuibeachcomber]

As you love the feeling of power - at such a low level - then you have a classic narcissistic personality. In other words a personality marked by self love and absorbtion; unrealistic views about your own qualities and little regard for others

I've wondered about that myself. Maybe I am narcissistic, I hope not, and I try not to be.

too much analysis....................the guy just wants to get his rocks off with someone else and have some fun.......................the male species has the ability to do this without any guilt attached whatso ever cos there's no emotion attached to the done deed,just sex for sex sake................we are hunters and predators by nature.

[tropo]

She obviously doesnt trust you - and she has, it seems, good reason - therefore she doesn't truly love you.

Read up on philosphy and you will understand that love without trust can not truly exist - FACT

Good point. I've known my wife for almost 3 years and married for almost one year. I think you are right, she doesn't trust me. She's seen me in action in Pattaya. I know this has been said a million times, "she's not a bar girl". She was working at the hotel I was staying at. I don't trust her 100% yet either. I send her mom 6000 baht/month and I've spent $2500 on land. Like they say "trust takes years to build and a second to destroy". Work in progress. I've read all the horror stories, so I know what to look out for.

I think it's ridiculous to marry someone you don't trust. What were you thinking?

What is this obsession with marriage in a place like Pattaya?

How do you know your girl didn't work in a bar previous to her getting a real job?

[Fore Man]

In my humbling experience, I've found that Thai women actually expect their man to cheat of them....no matter how long or strong their relationship After all, this is the land of the mia noi--if you are rich enough to afford a GF in this country, then many Thai men willingly flaunt their wealth and status...the little lady at home doesn't like it one bit, but that's the culture they were born into and they silently suffer for it.

I was in BKK several years ago with my soon-to-be wife. She went shopping with her GF and I remained in the hotel room, ill with a terrible series of migraines that later turned out to be caused by partially collapsed cervical vertebra. When they returned, there was knocking at the door, as my fiance didn't take the only passkey issued to us. I was sleeping and took time to open the door and let them in. Just before doing so, I heard my fiance's GF remark in Thai..."he probably has a woman in the room with him, maybe we go somewhere else". When I opened the door, there stood the two ladies a bit dumbfounded and I hope a bit ashamed for automatically thinking the worst of me. Two weeks after I returned to the States, I underwent a spinal fusion operation and the headaches subsided. Over the years, I have often heard my wife tell me "go ahead...have a mia noi...it's up to you!"...usually followed by a comment that after that I will lose everything we own together in Thailand after she kicks me out. It is always said nowadays in jest, but there is always an underlying expectation that a husband will eventually cheat. Her invitation to me is nothing more than a test. Flunk it and you go back to rock bottom. What the Thai wife fears for and absolutely does not want is anybody to know about it and cause her to lose face. In our case, we have remained true to each other in 11 yers of marriage and several years of courtship prior to that. Before I met my wife, I was a galavanting playboy, living it up high on expense accounts and enjoying everything that the LOS had to offer. But I honestly haven't ever looked twice at another woman since I met my wife in 1994...she is quite a beauty of course...and it took me another 5 years or so to appreciate that her true beauty was inside and unseen. Are you on this same road of growth as a couple...or just marking time?

So where does this leave the OP? I believe that when a man commits to a woman to have a monogamous relationship...in or out of wedlock...that is precisely what you bargained for and you must live up to your end of the bargain. Sure, go out on boys nights and look at the cute menu laid out before you...look, appreciate, but don't taste! If you succumb to another woman's charms, you will have begun unraveling everything you have worked to create with your lady and the process once started is irreversable. Your will have violated that precious thing we call trust and nothing is more difficult to win it back. Men sometimes think they are capable of living some kind of dual lifestyle--shutting a door behind them in their main life and opening another one in their chosen fantasy land. You are only corrupting yourself and believe me, a woman has a sixth sense for BS and can smell a cheat a mile away. Endeth the epistle

Don't do it!

[tb86]

As you love the feeling of power - at such a low level - then you have a classic narcissistic personality. In other words a personality marked by self love and absorbtion; unrealistic views about your own qualities and little regard for others

I've wondered about that myself. Maybe I am narcissistic, I hope not, and I try not to be.

too much analysis....................the guy just wants to get his rocks off with someone else and have some fun.......................the male species has the ability to do this without any guilt attached whatso ever cos there's no emotion attached to the done deed,just sex for sex sake................we are hunters and predators by nature.

Yeah except in pattaya the johns are the prey, the bar girls are the are the predators.....we just like to think we are in control

[tropo]

Like the topic says...I love my Thai wife. We've only been married a year. She is young, beautiful, fun to be around, and I think she loves me too. There is only one thing wrong. I miss Pattaya too much. I miss the beaches, warm weather, bar hopping, flirting with the bar girls, looking at all the beautiful Thai girls, getting drunk, and I must say, the feeling of power I get knowing I'm a rich falang (actually, I'm just your average American, but in Pattaya I feel like a superstar). My wife doesn't want me to go because she thinks I will cheat on her and she knows how drunk I get when I'm in Pattaya. I've assured her I will never cheat on her, I just want to go to have fun. Of course, I can go if I want, but it will hurt her feelings. I don't want to hurt her, but I'd like to go again someday. What's a guy to do?

Ok, now we've established that you're living in America. [deleted]

If she is young and beautiful as you say [deleted], there's a good chance she'll be play around on you in American if you go to Pattaya. It shouldn't be hard for her to find a decent replacement for you in America.

After she's gained permanent residence she very well might. If I was her friend and giving her advice, this is exactly what I would recommend her to do.

[tb86]

In my humbling experience, I've found that Thai women actually expect their man to cheat of them....no matter how long or strong their relationship After all, this is the land of the mia noi--if you are rich enough to afford a GF in this country, then many Thai men willingly flaunt their wealth and status...the little lady at home doesn't like it one bit, but that's the culture they were born into and they silently suffer for it.

I was in BKK several years ago with my soon-to-be wife. She went shopping with her GF and I remained in the hotel room, ill with a terrible series of migraines that later turned out to be caused by partially collapsed cervical vertebra. When they returned, there was knocking at the door, as my fiance didn't take the only passkey issued to us. I was sleeping and took time to open the door and let them in. Just before doing so, I heard my fiance's GF remark in Thai..."he probably has a woman in the room with him, maybe we go somewhere else". When I opened the door, there stood the two ladies a bit dumbfounded and I hope a bit ashamed for automatically thinking the worst of me. Two weeks after I returned to the States, I underwent a spinal fusion operation and the headaches subsided. Over the years, I have often heard my wife tell me "go ahead...have a mia noi...it's up to you!"...usually followed by a comment that after that I will lose everything we own together in Thailand after she kicks me out. It is always said nowadays in jest, but there is always an underlying expectation that a husband will eventually cheat. Her invitation to me is nothing more than a test. Flunk it and you go back to rock bottom. What the Thai wife fears for and absolutely does not want is anybody to know about it and cause her to lose face. In our case, we have remained true to each other in 11 yers of marriage and several years of courtship prior to that. Before I met my wife, I was a galavanting playboy, living it up high on expense accounts and enjoying everything that the LOS had to offer. But I honestly haven't ever looked twice at another woman since I met my wife in 1994...she is quite a beauty of course...and it took me another 5 years or so to appreciate that her true beauty was inside and unseen. Are you on this same road of growth as a couple...or just marking time?

So where does this leave the OP? I believe that when a man commits to a woman to have a monogamous relationship...in or out of wedlock...that is precisely what you bargained for and you must live up to your end of the bargain. Sure, go out on boys nights and look at the cute menu laid out before you...look, appreciate, but don't taste! If you succumb to another woman's charms, you will have begun unraveling everything you have worked to create with your lady and the process once started is irreversable. Your will have violated that precious thing we call trust and nothing is more difficult to win it back. Men sometimes think they are capable of living some kind of dual lifestyle--shutting a door behind them in their main life and opening another one in their chosen fantasy land. You are only corrupting yourself and believe me, a woman has a sixth sense for BS and can smell a cheat a mile away. Endeth the epistle

Don't do it!

very well put

[davyboy]

As you love the feeling of power - at such a low level - then you have a classic narcissistic personality. In other words a personality marked by self love and absorbtion; unrealistic views about your own qualities and little regard for others

I've wondered about that myself. Maybe I am narcissistic, I hope not, and I try not to be.

too much analysis....................the guy just wants to get his rocks off with someone else and have some fun.......................the male species has the ability to do this without any guilt attached whatso ever cos there's no emotion attached to the done deed,just sex for sex sake................we are hunters and predators by nature.

Yea true, we just kid ourselves!

Yeah except in pattaya the johns are the prey, the bar girls are the are the predators.....we just like to think we are in control

[FarangFatal]

Did you meet her in Pattaya....

[tb86]

As you love the feeling of power - at such a low level - then you have a classic narcissistic personality. In other words a personality marked by self love and absorbtion; unrealistic views about your own qualities and little regard for others

I've wondered about that myself. Maybe I am narcissistic, I hope not, and I try not to be.

too much analysis....................the guy just wants to get his rocks off with someone else and have some fun.......................the male species has the ability to do this without any guilt attached whatso ever cos there's no emotion attached to the done deed,just sex for sex sake................we are hunters and predators by nature.

Yea true, we just kid ourselves!

Yeah except in pattaya the johns are the prey, the bar girls are the are the predators.....we just like to think we are in control

Ha yeah your in control alright, Thats why so many farang end up with bg wives and gf's. Im sure thats every guys dream, getting played by a working girl. Then having a sob story on tv= i cant.... she wants...., i wish...., what happens if.... how do you know....stupid is the answer to most of these questions

[seank]

Sounds like you should not have maried in the first place.

What are you to do?

Well you can not go to Pattaya anymore unless you get a divorce. So go for a non pattaya holiday with your wife somewhere else,

[imaneggspurt]

Its usually nothing to do with trust/love or worrying about them being unfaithful, its a fear of you spending her money on someone else !..yes whats yours is hers and whats hers is her own

[Syl]

Easy really....... Dont go then....... Go to Phuket instead.

[raro]

We've only been married a year. She is young, beautiful, fun to be around, and I think she loves me too. There is only one thing wrong

I hate to be the one to point this out, but you may have bigger problems than longing for the good old days hanging out with nasty pattaya bar girls. Your a married man like it or not those days are over.

They are not...just do as I do and take the wife with you when you go out.

[skipvice]

I think the op is just stiring the pot