My Thai Family In Bangkok. More & More Unfriendly

[Livinginexile]

This post fascinated me...and disturbed me as well. There almost had to be a catalyst for these very atypical reactions to occur among typical Thai denizens. Is there anything 'different' or striking (in an unattractive way) about your manner of dress or appearance as well as that of your wife? Was your child making a racket and not being controlled? Where you wearing appropriate clothing in that setting? I visit BKK periodically on business and pleasure, and have never observed this. Some people are cooler than others, and I take issue with the poster who asked if you were either fat or old. I know a lot of fat, or old, or fat and old farangs who take pains to dress up and look and act decent. Look and act like a slob and you will get what you deserve amongst the Thai people. We see all kinds of 'weird farangs' up here in CM. The one that tops the 'don't do it' list is the visitor who comes here and strolls around the city--one littered with temples everywhere--wearing next to nothing--today we saw a 40-ish guy, looking every inch like a bum from the backpacker scene, wearing shorts, sandals, tons of ugly tattoos and no shirt...out in broad daylight at least 600 miles from the nearest beach! This is disrespectful to most Thais and immediately earns their scorn. My (Thai) wife's family and close friends are appalled at how the vast majority of foreign tourists dress when they come to the Kingdom, and it is from these unsavory visages that they begin to suspect that everybody back in the West dresses and acts likewise.

I have never seen the kind of reaction you mention from Thai people--unless you did something to provoke them first. Very interesting, and very disappointing if true and unqualified.

Hi Foreman

I am an ordinary decent guy that dresses appropriatly.

Have you travelled around Bkk with your Thai wife and children?

That is what I am asking. Has any other Thai/Farang couple with their children experienced the same experience.

Like I have said...it is completely different when I am alone, it was when I was with my family, that's when I noticed the negativity.

[CarlBkk]

I would be asking the same questions as Fore Man, plus regular middle class Thai folk will doubly check out farang/thai wife and child groups to judge their suitability and class. If the lady looks respectable, looks fairly attractive in Thai eyes, similar aged to the husband and all look happy and smiling then you have no need to feel paranoid.

There have been times when I've also thought that a lady or two were giving my son or me dirty looks, only to be corrected when as my son leaves the BTS or wherever it is and the stoney-faced lady suddenly smiles and waves at him. Don't be too hasty to judge facial expressions. I occasionally have a feeling that the long hard stare the lady is giving my son is not because of her dislike for children, but maybe due to the fact she isn't married but wants a child/can't have a child/child living away from home etc. etc. - there could be many reasons, and don't discount envy if your child is particularly cute and nice looking. Give people a smile first to test their attitude and it will soon give you the answer.

Bangkok is so child-friendly and appreciative that I get stressed just thinking about the little annoyances that happen back in the West where no pre-20 girl would so much as glance at a youngster, no schoolchild would dream of playing with him/her on the bus and restaurant staff and customers would get irate if he's running around or making a noise. Bangkok may not have many things, but it's making my son a happier more personable child.

[Fore Man]

I would be asking the same questions as Fore Man, plus regular middle class Thai folk will doubly check out farang/thai wife and child groups to judge their suitability and class. If the lady looks respectable, looks fairly attractive in Thai eyes, similar aged to the husband and all look happy and smiling then you have no need to feel paranoid.

There have been times when I've also thought that a lady or two were giving my son or me dirty looks, only to be corrected when as my son leaves the BTS or wherever it is and the stoney-faced lady suddenly smiles and waves at him. Don't be too hasty to judge facial expressions. I occasionally have a feeling that the long hard stare the lady is giving my son is not because of her dislike for children, but maybe due to the fact she isn't married but wants a child/can't have a child/child living away from home etc. etc. - there could be many reasons, and don't discount envy if your child is particularly cute and nice looking. Give people a smile first to test their attitude and it will soon give you the answer.

Bangkok is so child-friendly and appreciative that I get stressed just thinking about the little annoyances that happen back in the West where no pre-20 girl would so much as glance at a youngster, no schoolchild would dream of playing with him/her on the bus and restaurant staff and customers would get irate if he's running around or making a noise. Bangkok may not have many things, but it's making my son a happier more personable child.

That's a pretty decent response CarlBKK and one the best ones I've seen...it's very refreshing to see a decent, responsive post instead of the usual flaming and surly remarks made by many.

[britmaveric]

Nah think most people don't even pay much attention to farang - I certainly didnt notice any change then again I don't normally pay much attention, but I think I would notice hard stares - normally see smiles.

[Sabum]

It only partly matters what YOU look like, if your wife was dressed even a bit sexy then the glares will come, they will assume shes a bad girl.

[Pib]

For a farang expecting "special/nice looks" simply because they are farang I would have to say that farang is living in the past or has too high an opinion of himself/herself. Farangs are a dime-a-dozen (i.e., nothing special, plenty around, no longer unique) in Bangkok and other certain Thailand lcoations...and farangs need to understand they are looked at in a different way which can vary widely from being positive to negative. And the current in financial situation probably does not help the image of many farangs except as a money source. Maybe, call it misdirected dislike. However, but, I would fine it hard to believe Thai's would look negatively on any child; adults yes, but not children.

[Boo]

It could be they are looking at your wife & child to determine if he is hers or not. If he is especially farang looking then maybe the stares are out of nosy curiosity as to her relationship to him? (and by default you??)

I can't personally say I have had any issue but I never really take notice of anyone & don't court attention of any kind for my son (not saying you do btw ) & prefer to discourage him being singled out for his cuteness ( like your son, he gets ALOT of attention in LOS)

[sassienie]

Nope, never felt that Thai people are aggresive towards me or anyone with me.

Some Drunk Farangs yes, Thai people, No.

Are you sure they were not miserable aggressive Farangs disguised as Thai people ?

Same for me but they`re not always drunk.

The only rudeness I have experienced up here in Chiang Mai is from other Farangs, more so ex-pats rather than tourists.

[SmugFarangBore]

I have not noticed a difference in attitudes recently and I live in Bangkok.

The indoctrinated, underlying mistrust and dislike of Westerners is still there but the Thais pretend to be as friendly as usual.

[sriracha john]

Am I getting paranoid in my old age?

Not having the same experience, it might lead one to think that perhaps that is the case.

[Naam]

Are you sure your fly wasn't open? That is the only thing I can think of to explain it. Try again, soldier on, friendliness undoubtedly awaits you.

:D

[UncleFrank]

Huge shift in attitude recently.

I blame the yellow shirts.

They are very unhappy with foreign press and the anti foreigner rhetoric has been appalling.

[jackr]

Probably just coincidental and the mood at the time. Go there again and it will perhaps be totally different. Regards the family thing, there's always the possibility of them thinking what you know they're probably thinking.

[bkkjames]

Was at the baby show on the weekend at QNCC and noticed the opposite reaction to the op. The mrs is showing (5.5 months now) and noticed alot more politeness actually compared to when she wasnt prego. Citibank had a booth there and on two occasions asked me if I / we wanted to apply for credit card - sign of the times I guess - farang can get a credit card

But in general, the mood in Thailand ( I suspect globally) is a bit more stressed these days with the uncertainty.

[Fore Man]

Nope, never felt that Thai people are aggresive towards me or anyone with me.

Some Drunk Farangs yes, Thai people, No.

Are you sure they were not miserable aggressive Farangs disguised as Thai people ?

Same for me but they`re not always drunk.

The only rudeness I have experienced up here in Chiang Mai is from other Farangs, more so ex-pats rather than tourists.

Wow...you hit the nail on the head with this final sentence...what is it about other ex-pats that makes them so unfriendly to their fellows?

[Briggsy]

If somebody is staring at you and you don't know why, you can ask politely, "Mee arai mai khrap?" And they will probably say, "mai mee" and look away. End of story.

And yes, people in Bangkok don't smile at foreigners. They are too many foreigners for them to be anything out of the ordinary.

[RusticCharm]

well if you'Re not super old or fat... maybe it was just jealousy.. if you clearly look like you are taking advantage of a young uneducated issan girl, well then you know why. Thais are just starting to hate the abuse of the standard old and fat farang

Nominated for... 

[t.s]

It could be they are looking at your wife & child to determine if he is hers or not. If he is especially farang looking then maybe the stares are out of nosy curiosity as to her relationship to him? (and by default you??)

I can't personally say I have had any issue but I never really take notice of anyone & don't court attention of any kind for my son (not saying you do btw ) & prefer to discourage him being singled out for his cuteness ( like your son, he gets ALOT of attention in LOS)

the boy in the plastic bubble.

[SmugFarangBore]

Wow...you hit the nail on the head with this final sentence...what is it about other ex-pats that makes them so unfriendly to their fellows?

Most of the expats I know are friendly and look out for each other.

Maybe you are hanging out with the wrong crowd?

[Boo]

the boy in the plastic bubble.

Not sure I understand your meaning.

[Travel2003]

And yes, people in Bangkok don't smile at foreigners. They are too many foreigners for them to be anything out of the ordinary.

Agree,

But still, I would, as a local, be not too happy about the fact that the local women so often choose someone from outside.

This is a normal issue we can find all over the world.

Especially when one could (not all but) many times easily see why she picked the stranger.

I think it also might be the big city syndrom that starts to hit Bangkok as the city becomes more and more international.

Again, this is pretty normal everywhere as well.

A city is a place where many people are lonesome, together.

[Tyree D.]

everybody read the whole thread first. He clarified when he was out alone everything was normal. That's because you looked like $$$$. When you were with your family, you are obviously permanently taken. Everything else is in your head. As for nobody calling your baby narak...the pretty puppy phase is over.

[Livinginexile]

Probably just coincidental and the mood at the time. Go there again and it will perhaps be totally different. Regards the family thing, there's always the possibility of them thinking what you know they're probably thinking.

I think you're`right jack, judging by other replies I guess I must have been imagining the negativity.

Probably next trip I will see the usual Thai hospitality

[SmugFarangBore]

i've lived in khlong toei for years and everybody treats me and my family well and always have. racism is everywhere in the world, but the basic essence of thai nature means there is not TOO much here.

You're kidding right?

Ask a Thai person's opinion on the Burmese or Laos people.

Then think about where you are in the pecking order.

[Geekfreaklover]

To the OP, I think that you were probably upset by lack of attention rather than being on the recieving end of any ill feelings by Bangkokians towards you and your family.

Try walking around London to get an idea of how cold people can be...

Edited February 2, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[FairwayJack]

I have a Thai wife and a three year old son.

We have just returned from 6 weeks in Thailand mostly spent in Bangkok in the Sukumvit area.

It's been a while since we have spent much time in Bkk and usually the people there are allways smiling and stoping to talk to my son, taking pictures of him on the BTS, girls stopping on the street to tell him how narak he is...etc etc.

But this time there was very little of that friendly attitude. In fact my wife and I experienced quite an agressive attitude from a LOT of people. When walking down a street, most office type people would give us discusted looks. I even had a go at these two on the BTS one day that were giving my son the fithiest look!! It even got to a point at one stage were I got quite paranoid pushing a stroller down the street.

It's all since this yellow shirt rubbish happened. I don't know if there is a connection but we definately felt a whole lot of resentment whilst we were there. Up country we experienced only the usual friendlyness that we are used too.

Has anyone else felt a shift in Bkk'ites attitude to farang/thai families? It really was quite unsettling, especially in shopping centres.

Am I getting paranoid in my old age?

[/quo

Yes I've notice it too....and I live here so it is even more unsettling. Can't put my finger on why exactly but it is happening and it is a growing phenom. A recent trip to Pattaya was marred by a Thai lady who wanted a restaurant's smoking room's door kept open. I having breakfast there with my wife and 3 young children. I asked to have it closed. Long story short...I was told to f....off literally. I left and found another restaurant.

[JR Texas]

As stated many times over the past few years, Thais have become increasingly xenophobic. The problem was not so bad 8-9 years ago, then Thaksin took office and changed everything. The mood changed........greed, selfishness, xenophobia were promoted in a way that many people did not see.

Today, the economy (even global economy) is crashing. That has been a long process........but when economies decline people look for answers........the ruling elite in each country do not want people to look at them as the problem.......so a charismatic figure steps to the podium and points his/her finger at other: Cambodians, FARANGS! etc.

It is unfortunate what is happening........it is reflected in the visa/immigration rule changes that have taken place over the past 8 years, changes that have nothing to do with security and everything to do with xenophobia. Too bad.........Thailand used to be a place where you at least felt a little bit welcome.

[Tyree D.]

everybody read the whole thread first. He clarified when he was out alone everything was normal. That's because you looked like $$$$. When you were with your family, you are obviously permanently taken. Everything else is in your head. As for nobody calling your baby narak...the pretty puppy phase is over.

had to quote myself. This sums it all up. Nothing more, nothing less.

But my first time in Thailand was 1999. Then went again in 2004. I assumed people had gotten so more unfriendly but the thruth was in 1999 I was still under an illusion and plus 1999 was the '97-crisis period and people were happy for a human ATM. Then 2004 things were better economically and I was less stupid. Some years from now somebody will post here saying "Thais aren't as friendly as they were in 2009!!!".