Was I Being A Cheap Charlie Or Not?

[Geekfreaklover]

Yeesh, ok OP at first I was thinking that you knew what you were doing but then read a few more of your posts and realised you are still totally in denial like so many dumb bastages over here. You KNOW you were employing a girl to pose as your gf but you are still making excuses and trying to lie to yourself..... I think its totally ok to keep a woman on salary IF YOU FULLY ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND THIS. The minute you try to fool yourself into thinking its ok to pay your lover a salary (especially a salary that triple an average Thai salary that goes far beyond a bit of clothes money) you are opening yourself up to all kinds of heartache, headaches, problems and possibly financial loss. No amount of explaining this will make you understand though so I'll just stop there.

You asked about the amount and if you were being cheap.... well nobody in this thread seems to have a clue and nobody has pointed out the actual measuring stick to judge what you should be paying your EMPLOYEE girlfriend. Go run to a mirror quick (since you are probably in denial about this too...) When you look in the mirror, do you see a young handsome man with a killer sexy body and chiselled good looks? NO?! oh well then you have to pay ALOT. DUH! If you are a fat old man than you should be paying your young sexy killer body girlfriend a whole lot of money, it is really that simple.

I'll use my girlfriends as examples, I date the girls that guys like you pay. They tell me what they make and I exclaim "soooo stupid" and they giggle and say "ya stupid!" These girls make about 50k per guy sending them money every month. So if you were only paying 20k you must be not too old or fat or horrible to look at, otherwise you are grossly underpaying your hard working employee. So go calculate all those variables I gave you to see what you should be paying your employees in the future.

LOL............ nice post............... she was far from a hard worker.......... still had the maid 3 times a week ......... I think you have gone a little bit off the beaten track.............. but not to worry............. Not in denial of anything......... I knew it MAY be a rocky road ahead......... but hey a having a relationship like a hand grenade with the pin ready to pop is the spice of life......... I was just asking the question "Do you reckon 20k was cheap.......... to me for a month its great........ I will spend that over a couple of nights in a club anyway!!!"

I may be reading your post wrong but you make it sound like i was sending her money every month.......... no I live here and she lived with me

As regards to me......... 38 year old ex air force guy about 75-80kgs depending on the day

Happy days

Vi-man,

If you wish to continue dating Thai girls, I would recommend meeting some random ladies outside the bars or using an internet application like facebook 'meet new people'.

If you are 38 and under 80 kilos you shoul have no problem if you dress well and act polite.

Plenty of good looking girls with good jobs that you don't have to pay for play with in thailand.

Good luck to you sir,

GFL.

[Geekfreaklover]

No to me sending money and handing it to her are pretty much the same so.....

If youre only 38 and 80kg of non fat then do you have a hunchback or horrible scarring and rotting teeth? If not what are you doing? You could be sleeping with the very girls SOMEONE ELSE is paying! Want me to school you how? I can take you out and teach you how to socialise if you have some sort of personality problem, put your good looks to work and save you some money.

sabum,

I myself, once went down the road of dating sponsered girls for a while. To be honest it was fun being paid for, but it didn't feel good in a moral sense. The OP would be better of finding a girl with a good job and a undemanding family. Plenty out there, and quite easy to get a date.

[Sabum]

No to me sending money and handing it to her are pretty much the same so.....

If youre only 38 and 80kg of non fat then do you have a hunchback or horrible scarring and rotting teeth? If not what are you doing? You could be sleeping with the very girls SOMEONE ELSE is paying! Want me to school you how? I can take you out and teach you how to socialise if you have some sort of personality problem, put your good looks to work and save you some money.

sabum,

I myself, once went down the road of dating sponsered girls for a while. To be honest it was fun being paid for, but it didn't feel good in a moral sense. The OP would be better of finding a girl with a good job and a undemanding family. Plenty out there, and quite easy to get a date.

If hes willing to pay employed lovers then I really dont think he has a problem with the morality of dating someone elses paid lover. As to what he needs..... well most people dont do what is best for them and what they really need.

[TheVinylMan]

No to me sending money and handing it to her are pretty much the same so.....

If youre only 38 and 80kg of non fat then do you have a hunchback or horrible scarring and rotting teeth? If not what are you doing? You could be sleeping with the very girls SOMEONE ELSE is paying! Want me to school you how? I can take you out and teach you how to socialise if you have some sort of personality problem, put your good looks to work and save you some money.

PMSL............... your ok thank you ......... I dont have any problems in meeting people... .... and no hunchback, rotting teeth or scarring

as i said earlier...... having a bit of a loose cannon was very entertaining at times. It was a personal preference thing........But in the end i think she talked too much and listened too much to her "friends" in her old work place.

If you ever want meet up for a drink one of my favoured haunts is The Royal Bangkok Sports Club........ May see you there some time....... i can introduce you to a few of my "friends "

[Geekfreaklover]

Soundman,

Ditch this troll.

[TheVinylMan]

Soundman,

Ditch this troll.

Who are you referring to??? Can I not comment to someone who is "lightly flaming" me (not that i am worried).

[t.s]

As I said in the original post I knew i would get the "why pay a girl to live with you brigade" slating me ........... but do none of you ever give your wives/gf's (thai or not) any money for there own needs???? I always gave my ex-wife (english) some money every month just to keep her sweet.... so she could go and get some new clothes/ perfumes etc!!!

Of course i help my wife out, I make more than she does, but i do not have her on salary, that is for her employer to take care of.

I made a choice never to become involved with anyone with no visible means of support, largely because i could not stand living with someone who does nothing.

Nor do i think my wife would be happy hanging out all day waiting for her "stipend".

by the hour, day, month or year your gf its still a rental.

[t.s]

Why don't you just give her your ATM card, pin number and let her use the money as she sees fit, seeing as it is a loving relationship founded on common grounds.

But seriously, if you want to spend your life with a working girl, 10k per month should be more than enough. But keep in mind that there are no pensions / social security for her and her family and if you are the only cash cow you will be milked (probably dry) ...

how did you calculate that?

Easy. Average Thai monthly wage and add a couple of thousand for good measure.

i am still waiting to meet the average thai, i keep making appointments, but they never show up.

[Geekfreaklover]

Why don't you just give her your ATM card, pin number and let her use the money as she sees fit, seeing as it is a loving relationship founded on common grounds.

But seriously, if you want to spend your life with a working girl, 10k per month should be more than enough. But keep in mind that there are no pensions / social security for her and her family and if you are the only cash cow you will be milked (probably dry) ...

how did you calculate that?

Easy. Average Thai monthly wage and add a couple of thousand for good measure.

i am still waiting to meet the average thai, i keep making appointments, but they never show up.

Too busy working perhaps?

[samuibeachcomber]

I see the floodgates have opened.

(1) i think you are paying too much.

(2)you seem to like the idea of paying.

(3) as others have said,maybe she is collecting multiple payments from lovers overseas...........would you like that,would you feel cheated.

(4)what do you want to do.

If you can answer that question,then maybe you can move on,if you dont want to move on,decrease the amount you are paying and see what happens.me thinks if you do she may move on.

[aussiejosh]

Why would anybody keep a large amount of money in an account accessible by ATM?

1 out of 10. Try much harder.

Because I get paid In THB direct to bangkok bank which I have Visa card for and savings account........... where do you keep money.......... under your pillow

I keep my money in 2 accounts, 1 which is attached me to my visa/debit account and the other with a much higher interest rate which I simply have to go online and transfer (that day if done early enough) into my my other account. That way my money which I am not using earns me more than the crappy interest rate the banks give you for an average saving account. They make money, with my ammount I make money just depends on how much you have in your account.

And as for paying for girls or paying them to be with you, that is kinda pathetic, but whatever to each his own. I pay for everything when I take my girlfriend out who is much much wealthier, why because its culturally what I am meant to do from both of our perspectives (she is not Thai)... I'd feel weird standing there letting her pay for something when I have the money, and historically/psychologically all relationships rely on the idea of masculinity and protection and its how attraction is created, not that I'm still at such a low stage of a relationship evolution I still like to pay.

Edited February 4, 2009 by aussiejosh

[samuibeachcomber]

I keep my money in 2 accounts, 1 which is attached me to my visa/debit account and the other with a much higher interest rate which I simply have to go online and transfer (that day if done early enough) into my my other account. That way my money which I am not using earns me more than the crappy interest rate the banks give you for an average saving account. They make money, with my ammount I make money just depends on how much you have in your account.

may i ask,what has this got to do with the topic"do you think 'm paying too much."

[aussiejosh]

I keep my money in 2 accounts, 1 which is attached me to my visa/debit account and the other with a much higher interest rate which I simply have to go online and transfer (that day if done early enough) into my my other account. That way my money which I am not using earns me more than the crappy interest rate the banks give you for an average saving account. They make money, with my ammount I make money just depends on how much you have in your account.

may i ask,what has this got to do with the topic"do you think 'm paying too much."

No I originally misquoted hence why it was out of context. My bad.

[samuibeachcomber]

you mean you posted in wrong topic?i think ive done that too sometime.

[aussiejosh]

No correct post, im quoting from this post.

Its on the first page of the thread 2/3rd down.

Edited February 4, 2009 by aussiejosh

[samuibeachcomber]

No correct post, im quoting from this post.

Its on the first page of the thread 2/3rd down.

apologies,i did n't look back

[thecatman]

The Vinyl Man, Cheap Charlie you are not. As others have pointed out, 20K a month and all expenses paid was a great deal for the girl. I mean, it sounds like you've got a few baht so she would have enjoyed the added extras of nice restaurants, weekend breaks, etc etc. The problem with many of these girls from Issan with poor educations is they can only see short term and are unable to see the bigger picture. This girl isn't worth bothering with and I'd say you got off lightly, good riddence. She'll be the one kicking herself in a day or 2, but you know, the funny thing is, if you let her back in she'll do exactly the same again. It isn't about what she's getting, it's about what you've got, and now she knows she's just gonna want a bigger and bigger piece of the pie.

Consider this, If you where in your home country, would you entertain a poorly educated girl with no future (job wise) from a poor family who was hanging out in bars with her yabba popping, hooker friends when you met her?? I think not. In fact you'd probably never go to such a place where the likes of these would be in the first place!!

Many things in Thailand are different, but your standards should remain the same the world over.

If you're living and working in Thailand long term with a good job and you're getting yourself out there then you should be able to find yourself a decent Thai lady without any problems what so ever.

I think you should be looking for a lady who you can see as equal to you, a lady who has a job, her own apartment, and maybe a car. Not so you can sponge off her or anything like that, but so you know she's an independent lady able to look after herself. This is the kind of lady you'd be looking for back home, so why not here??

This would work out to be a much more compatible partner for you long term.

Edited February 4, 2009 by thecatman

[Lucifer]

Your (ex) girl friend was a little wet behind the ears. A good 'pro' would have reeled you in a lot more.

Or, perhaps she still will.

[BigSnake]

OK I know there are gonna be some of you who are gonna slate me but lets see where this goes.........

6 months ago I got a girl to finish working in a bar.......... she had only been there a couple of days and came direct from the "Isaan Girl Factory" so she was not being too corrupted..... I know this as i know the bar owner and he had got the lady from Issaan himself.... and no baby to look after :-)

We had been getting on very very well..... I had been giving her 20k a month of which she always sent 4k to her mum and dad, I pay for all the apartment and bills, food and drink and when we go out she never has to pay for anything......so she literally has 16k a month just for her........ then i left out an atm slip showing a LARGE balance and all hel_l broke loose.

"Why do you only give me 20k a month when you make xxxxxxx amount per month " blah blah blah you can imagine the rest........ anyway to cut a long story short. I went to Hua Hin to visit a client for a couple of days and all the time i was there she was calling me and sms-ing me telling me that i have taken another girl and i never take care her etc etc............ When i got back is all I got was ear ache so i thought I can really do without this and we split up....... I gave her an extra 10K on top of her 20k to make sure she had a few baht to sort out a room etc.

Anyway............ the question I want answering .................. Do you think giving a girl 20K a month is being a cheap charlie irrespective of what i do or earn???

Or do you think that because she saw my atm slip that she suddenly saw lots and lots of 1000baht notes and was trying it on???

To be honest its only been 4 days we have been apart but I am really missing the girl............... I look forward to your comments

VM

If you are really SMART dude you will give this GREEDY BITCH a wide wide BERTH. Bt20,000 a months and she want more, I bet you 30K she has a Thai Lover somewhere PIMPING her big time. (BAR OWNER)?????

Edited February 4, 2009 by BigSnake

[G54]

So you have an employed a thai lady to be your gf and now she wants a raise because she sees how much dosh you have?

Any rate most people don't pay their gf or bf, they sort of make their own dosh.

Have to agree. How can she be a g/f if you pay her? Isn't she really more an 'Escort'?

I think fools pay for their lady and then have a gall to call them a g/f.

You are giving her at leat 15k too much, no matter how much you earn. Then again, some of us help out, we do not have to pay for a lady on our arm.

Before you ask, I help my g/f out a bit with milk and food for the baby. She works in a factory and pays most of her own way and generally feels it demeaning to have 'handouts'. If I offered to pay her month on month she would slap my face and walk away. Also, at the end of the day she saves me money in many ways too so I benefit all round.

[jcon]

Many things in Thailand are different, but your standards should remain the same the world over.

There should be some sign like this upon entering Thailand. Of course, nobody will listen, but at least somebody tried...

[henryalleman]

OK I know there are gonna be some of you who are gonna slate me but lets see where this goes.........

6 months ago I got a girl to finish working in a bar.......... she had only been there a couple of days and came direct from the "Isaan Girl Factory" so she was not being too corrupted..... I know this as i know the bar owner and he had got the lady from Issaan himself.... and no baby to look after :-)

We had been getting on very very well..... I had been giving her 20k a month of which she always sent 4k to her mum and dad, I pay for all the apartment and bills, food and drink and when we go out she never has to pay for anything......so she literally has 16k a month just for her........ then i left out an atm slip showing a LARGE balance and all hel_l broke loose.

"Why do you only give me 20k a month when you make xxxxxxx amount per month " blah blah blah you can imagine the rest........ anyway to cut a long story short. I went to Hua Hin to visit a client for a couple of days and all the time i was there she was calling me and sms-ing me telling me that i have taken another girl and i never take care her etc etc............ When i got back is all I got was ear ache so i thought I can really do without this and we split up....... I gave her an extra 10K on top of her 20k to make sure she had a few baht to sort out a room etc.

Anyway............ the question I want answering .................. Do you think giving a girl 20K a month is being a cheap charlie irrespective of what i do or earn???

Or do you think that because she saw my atm slip that she suddenly saw lots and lots of 1000baht notes and was trying it on???

To be honest its only been 4 days we have been apart but I am really missing the girl............... I look forward to your comments

VM

I will say it bluntly. You are not a cheap Charley, you are an idiot.

[bkkjames]

OK I know there are gonna be some of you who are gonna slate me but lets see where this goes.........

6 months ago I got a girl to finish working in a bar.......... she had only been there a couple of days and came direct from the "Isaan Girl Factory" so she was not being too corrupted..... I know this as i know the bar owner and he had got the lady from Issaan himself.... and no baby to look after :-)

We had been getting on very very well..... I had been giving her 20k a month of which she always sent 4k to her mum and dad, I pay for all the apartment and bills, food and drink and when we go out she never has to pay for anything......so she literally has 16k a month just for her........ then i left out an atm slip showing a LARGE balance and all hel_l broke loose.

"Why do you only give me 20k a month when you make xxxxxxx amount per month " blah blah blah you can imagine the rest........ anyway to cut a long story short. I went to Hua Hin to visit a client for a couple of days and all the time i was there she was calling me and sms-ing me telling me that i have taken another girl and i never take care her etc etc............ When i got back is all I got was ear ache so i thought I can really do without this and we split up....... I gave her an extra 10K on top of her 20k to make sure she had a few baht to sort out a room etc.

Anyway............ the question I want answering .................. Do you think giving a girl 20K a month is being a cheap charlie irrespective of what i do or earn???

Or do you think that because she saw my atm slip that she suddenly saw lots and lots of 1000baht notes and was trying it on???

To be honest its only been 4 days we have been apart but I am really missing the girl............... I look forward to your comments

VM

I will say it bluntly. You are not a cheap Charley, you are an idiot.

After 4 pages of he is / he isn't can we put this one to rest and say...above in bold italics?

Edited February 4, 2009 by bkkjames

[hhgz]

"You are not a cheap Charley, you are an idiot."

Right you are.

[Miserere]

I'll live with you for 20,000 a month, I'll even dress up and put on a bit of a show for you if you up it to 25,000?

Awwww go on!

[a2396]

OK I know there are gonna be some of you who are gonna slate me but lets see where this goes.........

6 months ago I got a girl to finish working in a bar.......... she had only been there a couple of days and came direct from the "Isaan Girl Factory" so she was not being too corrupted..... I know this as i know the bar owner and he had got the lady from Issaan himself.... and no baby to look after :-)

We had been getting on very very well..... I had been giving her 20k a month of which she always sent 4k to her mum and dad, I pay for all the apartment and bills, food and drink and when we go out she never has to pay for anything......so she literally has 16k a month just for her........ then i left out an atm slip showing a LARGE balance and all hel_l broke loose.

"Why do you only give me 20k a month when you make xxxxxxx amount per month " blah blah blah you can imagine the rest........ anyway to cut a long story short. I went to Hua Hin to visit a client for a couple of days and all the time i was there she was calling me and sms-ing me telling me that i have taken another girl and i never take care her etc etc............ When i got back is all I got was ear ache so i thought I can really do without this and we split up....... I gave her an extra 10K on top of her 20k to make sure she had a few baht to sort out a room etc.

Anyway............ the question I want answering .................. Do you think giving a girl 20K a month is being a cheap charlie irrespective of what i do or earn???

Or do you think that because she saw my atm slip that she suddenly saw lots and lots of 1000baht notes and was trying it on???

To be honest its only been 4 days we have been apart but I am really missing the girl............... I look forward to your comments

VM

I'm the "Cheap Charlie" with drunken sailors like you setting the gold standard paying 20,000 bht per mo for a bargirl. Now I know why they all expect this and more. I assume she was a 24/7 "full service girl". I pay less but can't get mine to full status. Where's all the guys who brag they pay nothing?

[bkkjames]

OK I know there are gonna be some of you who are gonna slate me but lets see where this goes.........

6 months ago I got a girl to finish working in a bar.......... she had only been there a couple of days and came direct from the "Isaan Girl Factory" so she was not being too corrupted..... I know this as i know the bar owner and he had got the lady from Issaan himself.... and no baby to look after :-)

We had been getting on very very well..... I had been giving her 20k a month of which she always sent 4k to her mum and dad, I pay for all the apartment and bills, food and drink and when we go out she never has to pay for anything......so she literally has 16k a month just for her........ then i left out an atm slip showing a LARGE balance and all hel_l broke loose.

"Why do you only give me 20k a month when you make xxxxxxx amount per month " blah blah blah you can imagine the rest........ anyway to cut a long story short. I went to Hua Hin to visit a client for a couple of days and all the time i was there she was calling me and sms-ing me telling me that i have taken another girl and i never take care her etc etc............ When i got back is all I got was ear ache so i thought I can really do without this and we split up....... I gave her an extra 10K on top of her 20k to make sure she had a few baht to sort out a room etc.

Anyway............ the question I want answering .................. Do you think giving a girl 20K a month is being a cheap charlie irrespective of what i do or earn???

Or do you think that because she saw my atm slip that she suddenly saw lots and lots of 1000baht notes and was trying it on???

To be honest its only been 4 days we have been apart but I am really missing the girl............... I look forward to your comments

VM

I'm the "Cheap Charlie" with drunken sailors like you setting the gold standard paying 20,000 bht per mo for a bargirl. Now I know why they all expect this and more. I assume she was a 24/7 "full service girl". I pay less but can't get mine to full status. Where's all the guys who brag they pay nothing?

we are with your gals

[OxfordWill]

to see this from her point of view, without passing judgment on the situation, where she comes from if she is "shacked up" with a man and the man only shares with her about 5% of what he has available money wise, the general consensus would be he is a very cheap charlie and likely does have other girls on the go. This is just village thinking im afraid..

[bkkdawg]

Get rid of this girl mate she's bad news. You can probably do better, especially seeing as you've got a few quid

[clausewitz]

Your (ex) girl friend was a little wet behind the ears. A good 'pro' would have reeled you in a lot more.

Or, perhaps she still will.

. It does seem the girl has little experience at bleeding punters and jumped the gun. On seeing your sizeable bank balance an expert would have started with "darling I don't want your money, just you.." and waited a few months down the track before bringing up the question of marriage and building a house (which to her surprise of course, has to be in her name) .