Couple Of Questions Re Thai Culture

[brian272727]

Also, any advice would be appreciated, I am 100% legit, neverdie has had a couple of PM's from me translating some emails from her.

Dilemma is as follows:

She is clearly at it, 100% no doubt.

Do I

a) Act like nothing is going on, continue as normal, meet her in BKK and butterfly around a bit

Call her bluff? Tell her to admit it and see her reaction

c) Ignore her for good? There are 10000000 Noi's in Thailand (name has been made up)

[Mobi]

I am not trolling, my friend reads this forum and I don't want to give my details away.

I have changed some facts like destinations etc

For the record I am 29

There is a high degree of probability that your friend has already sussed you

[neverdie]

Brian,

personally i would go option a, followed by option c. But thats just me. You have nothing to lose by doing it that way.

[brian272727]

Cheers man,

I think that's the best couse of action.

Like I said, we are going to Malaysia for a couple of days, now I don't want to wander about myself and it will be nice to have a pretty bed partner who is 10 years my junior so will just go along with it.

TBH this full thing has ruined my trip, I feel like a mug and I HATE continual lying especially when its so obvious.

I REALLY don't understand her actions, surely I was going to catch her out at some point?

[neverdie]

brian, lay off the phone play it cool, get yourself packed & you will be hear in a jiffy, it will all play out nicely from there....dont take it back home with you.

I dont think playing people is nice, but you didnt start this game, so take a deep breath & stop worrying.....here in thailand people tend to say something to people like you, it goes something like "Stop think too much".

It will be fine and all the worrying & posts in the world arnt going to change what she is doing. Talk to you later.

[brian272727]

Cheers man, you are 1000000% right

"Stop think too much", ha ha, she actually said that to me.

I have deleted her number and resisted the urge to email her today, this will continue until I hear from her.

[HYENA]

No, I am not living with her, nor am I serious with her.

Just wanted to know if that sort of thing was normal behaviour.

I would say I am 99% certain that she is 'at it' with me, she has headed up north for a few days and claims she can't really speak to me as her extended family don't know she go with farang. Her hourly phone calls have dried up and she gets flustered when I press for an explanation. So far she has offered:

Family problems

Farang issue(mentioned above)

Being drunk

Having to go back to college for a week to get her certificate

A 10 day pop/rock concert

The only reason I am staying around is that I have booked flights to go see her in a couple of weeks and don't know anyone in BKK or Thailand. Will spend some time with her then finish it at the airport. Thank god I have not given her any money, nor told anyone back home about her.

Oh, and she still claims to want to marry me and have a family with me when I come over???? Eh, that won't be happening.

For the record she is 20 and I am 28.

If you want a nice girl just to show you around, I know a nice girl whose never been in a bar, wouldn't consider it, doesn't drink and works at a sweat shop. She doesn't have a husband back home in Isaan (like yours does) and knows BKK like the back of her hand. All her spare time she uses exploring and going places. She's poor but not a money oriented person...she just likes trying new things, seeing new sites and enjoys new company. She's never "been with" a man...put it that way; neither has her friend. My friend is going to BKK Sunday to date her friend (only because her friend speaks more English and neither are picky about a mate...only love, kindness and fidelity is all that matters to both).

If I were you, I'd skip this girl and hang out with someone with a kind heart. Forget the money. Lies like that (although they all do it to some extent) seems this is excessive and indicative of husband at home.

My suggestion would be to quite before you have feelings for her. I'm serious because it's all but impossible to turn off feelings for a SE Asian woman since their culture fits our needs all too well.

I'd call it off before it starts.

I met my fiancee and a week after meeting her, we were off to another country. THere are too many right people for you and she's not it. Yes, she does things without prior planning BUT only shopping, etc...she'll say "do next week" and when the time comes, we're off and i'm the last to know. Trips to Isaan without notice is unusual. No calls to family, etc? THat's a RED FLAG. THere's nothing wrong with having a "friend" farang she can tell family about. My fiancee didn't say much other than she had a friend (until we were serious) but she certainly called me from home just like in BKK. She had nothing to hide (other than what went on behind closed doors between us)...but if you know Thai women well, they usually tell their family EVERYTHING...I'm talking everything. The size of your *&&) everything. That IS typical of a Thai woman. The girl talk between mother and family is far more than girl talk in our own culture.

That's my take on it. Oh, she does have a passport. She's saving herself for a serious boyfriend...just been working too much to date so never spent enough time to mix up with a man before.

THere are others I know and my fiancee knows, too...be careful; it's only your life and your money you'd be wasting (not to mention a piece of your heart if you go on a trip with her). Make a NICE vacation with a NICE girl. I'm sure there are others who have friends who are not married and you will not leave with a sour taste in your mouth. WHo wants to go on vacation, pretend then break it off at the end? If you want that, be honest and hire someone for the job but don't mix her emotions or surely she'll get you back somehow.

[brian272727]

Hey, thanks for the advice, sounds like a good offer. I will see how the next couple of days pan out and report back my findings.

For the record she is not from Issan, comes from south of Chang Mai.

The trip up north has sort of developed:

She lost her job so said she wanted to go away for a 3/4 days, this was last week

Come Monday she was meant to be going Monday PM, this turned into Tuesday AM as her mum wanted to come

The trip then became a 'family incident' which she has detailed but I won't go onto here

This then turned into a week of "no contact" as she was stressed, "Trust me, I love you etc etc"

Its now 3 weeks away as she wants to go to some 10 day music concert???

As far as her past goes I know quite a lot, from her old boyfriend(a 50 year old millonaire) who bought her a car/house etc but who she left cos she didn't love, she was 17 at the time.

When I met her she was two weeks out of a relationship with a pro-sportsman, turns out he had a wife.

I guess I sort of fell in love with her, or perhaps an infactuation of sorts, I am interested to hear her excuses to be honest, I am furious at her but going to try and contain my anger and concerns until I hit Thailand.

I am guessing she won't phone in the next few days as she knows, that I know, she is lying.

She will give it a while and then contact me asking if we can meet for one minute when I come to Thailand as she wants to give me a present (some sentimental tat) which she hopes will hook me back in.

This is very much a game of chess for me now...

[JetsetBkk]

... she is going on a 7 hour baht bus ride to Northern Thailand...

Also do Thai people lie a lot?...

Only to you, mate.

[bobbysan124]

Yeah, no more emails, thank god!!!

Have had a couple of phone conversations since but all very strange.

Things were going well with her for around 8 weeks, almost hourly phone calls etc etc etc

Then on Monday she said she is heading up north, she had mentioned this previously but suddenly a 4 day trip turned into a 7 day trip which has now turned into a 3 week trip and that she won't be able to speak much.

Obviously something is going on, but what? I guess I will never know, she is not going to admit it and see a potential cash cow disappear Her standard response when I ask is "If you don't trust me, go away from me now!"

Its weird because she is still insistant that we get married when I go over and try to give her a baby (this wont be happening!!!)

Anyways her phone number has been deleted and if she wants to contact me she can, I will head over, spend 2 weeks having fun with her, few false promises etc and then call it quits for good.

Don't want to be a drag, but sounds like you're playing her as much as she's playing you.

[Godwin]

Sounds like a familiar story

Edited February 5, 2009 by Godwin

[dave9988]

Is it normal to just up and leave to go back to your village at a few hours notice? No. This is ridiculous.

My TGF never seems to pre-plan anything, one minute she is at the laundry, the next she is going on a 7 hour baht bus ride to Northern Thailand. Sounds aloof. If you have children, will she be a good mother?

She seems to live very much day to day, nothing is ever planned. Ditto.

Also do Thai people lie a lot? No.

I am not talking major lies, more lies to save face. For example, I am going to Malaysia with my TGF so I send her 1000 baht to make passport.

I ask her if she has got it and she says "I make already", I then ask for the passport number to book the flights and what follows is three days of fake numbers and not being able to understand me followed by her finally admitting she has not got it. Sounds like a very strange girl.

Another time I send her 2000 baht to buy a uniform and shoes for her work, I ask if she has picked up the money from Western Union and she says "I do tomorrow". The thing is I know she has already picked up the cash as WU automatically email you. I have no idea why she would lie about something like that??? Sounds like she has her own reasons for these weird types of actions. Sounds like she does not understand you well. Sounds like the two of you are a bit disconnected, or have a communication problem.

Is this normal Thai behaviour or is she a 'wrong un'? Hard to judge, but personally, with all the great ladies to choose from, I would try to find one who is not so unusual and tied to a village family.

Edited February 5, 2009 by dave9988

[MiG16]

let me warn everyone that any more general sweeping statements against thai women and this thread is closed, plus the offender can likely expect suspension.

go ahead and share your bad experience. However, remember there are about 33 million thai women in the country, and just cos you happen to meet a handful of not very nice women does not give you the right to accuse every thai women to be money grabbing type

[endure]

Is it normal to just up and leave to go back to your village at a few hours notice? No. This is ridiculous.

On the contrary if there's a family problem at home most Thais will drop everything to get back to the village.

[henryalleman]

Most likely one of her sponsors has turned up and she's busy with him.

You don't need to be Dick Tracy to figure out what's going on!

Exactly what I thought, and I am 90% sure thats what's happening but she was still able to speak to me for an hour this morning at 2pm and said she would phone at 7am tomorrow morning. The sponsor thing is the most obvious but something just doesn't ring true with that, unless the dude leaves her company twice a day at specific times?

The thing is you don't just go from 5 calls a day to 1 call a day for no reason.

I don't want to push it too far though cos she is hot and I still would like to nail her again. No point in me burning my bridges, she was never exactly wife material anyway and meeting a 20 year old stunner with DD t*ts at the airport is always going to have its benefits.

Like I said, I will cut all contact for now, wait til she arranges to meet me. With the exception of sending her 3000 baht for passport and waitress uniform I am not out of pocket.

I don't want to push it too far though cos she is hot and I still would like to nail her again. No point in me burning my bridges, she was never exactly wife material anyway and meeting a 20 year old stunner with DD t*ts at the airport is always going to have its benefits.

You just show yourself as an immature little man, I hope she take you to the cleaners, you deserve it.

Edited February 6, 2009 by henryalleman

[bkkjames]

Also do Thai people lie a lot?

In my experience in Thailand, Farangs are the biggest bullshitters in the Kingdom.

Is that from "personal experience" ?

Yes, it is.

You know what they say "don't bullshit a bullshitter"

[JSixpack]

If I were you, I'd skip this girl and hang out with someone with a kind heart. Forget the money. Lies like that (although they all do it to some extent) seems this is excessive and indicative of husband at home.

My suggestion would be to quite before you have feelings for her. I'm serious because it's all but impossible to turn off feelings for a SE Asian woman since their culture fits our needs all too well.

I'd call it off before it starts.

Good advice. Don't meet her again. It can't really be to your advantage.

[brian272727]

Update:

No communication at all

Her OLD mobile was switched on a minute ago, that's the give away.

I doubt she will be back in contact, its pretty obvious that I know she has lied to me. No point trying to understand her actions.

What is pretty difficult to take is we used to talk 4/5 times a day for up to two hours at a time, having spent 12 days with her in December and then spoke to her every day for 6/7 weeks you think you know someone a little bit, obviously not.

Also why the hel_l is she still proclaiming to want to get married to me next month?

Anyway, my non-contact will continue...

[Hawkup2000]

It is normal Thai behaviour for many, many Thai girls.

And it is also a normal behavior for millions of Americans and Europeans hence it is not "a Thai thing". He have just found a girl with a lot of issues.

Brian

Life is to short to have stuff like this on your mind. I think you should start to start looking for an upgrade.

[Maizefarmer]

Is it normal to just up and leave to go back to your village at a few hours notice?

My TGF never seems to pre-plan anything, one minute she is at the laundry, the next she is going on a 7 hour baht bus ride to Northern Thailand.

She seems to live very much day to day, nothing is ever planned.

Also do Thai people lie a lot?

I am not talking major lies, more lies to save face. For example, I am going to Malaysia with my TGF so I send her 1000 baht to make passport.

I ask her if she has got it and she says "I make already", I then ask for the passport number to book the flights and what follows is three days of fake numbers and not being able to understand me followed by her finally admitting she has not got it.

Another time I send her 2000 baht to buy a uniform and shoes for her work, I ask if she has picked up the money from Western Union and she says "I do tomorrow". The thing is I know she has already picked up the cash as WU automatically email you. I have no idea why she would lie about something like that???

Is this normal Thai behaviour or is she a 'wrong un'?

WRONG UN - let go, move on - dont waste your time.

[brian272727]

I know, I know, I know, she is clearly at it.

I am sooooo keen to hear her excuse/lies/explanation though.

The reality is that in a few weeks time I will be heading to the airport myself with the world as my oyster.

I will feel a little sad that someone I had got to know(or so I thought) is going to be living within 2/3 miles of me and I can't see her. I know her address in BKK as well, thats gonna make it difficult.

Even 24 hours ago, when I last spoke to her she was discussing our hypothetical wedding in great detail.

The thing is, surely if she is with some fella she, can make her excuses and leave his side to at least text me??? That's what I find really really strange. Now unless this guy is a major sponsor, dropping 10'000's on her why would she jeapordise our 'relationship' so close to me coming over and taking her to Malaysia? Christ if I was doing the dirty I would be a bit more savvy about it, quick trip to the shop, hairdressers, even going to take a sh*t and then getting in contact.

I KNOW she is at it, but something, somewhere is intriguing me, you don't bite the hand that feeds you a few weeks before it arrives in town to whisk you off on a foriegn holiday, the same hand that you have been grooming incessantly for the last 8 weeks.

[Maigo6]

I KNOW she is at it, but something, somewhere is intriguing me, you don't bite the hand that feeds you a few weeks before it arrives in town to whisk you off on a foriegn holiday, the same hand that you have been grooming incessantly for the last 8 weeks.

For christs sakes man, you intend to go to Malaysia, not freekin' cruising round the Caribbean for 3 months. Malaysia, <deleted>, it wouldn't be worth 8 weeks of grooming......

I'm sure her Miillionaire BF of 50 when she was 17 took her to many places, or the Pro Athlete who she was with before she tragically stumbled across you.

You keep bleating on about you know how she is so bad, yet you are drawn to her like a fly to dogshit, what do you expect the wordly wise internet warriors on this Forum to tell you, do you expect to be patted on the cyber back and told what a great guy you are ?

You want all these wise guys to say " Yeah , it's typical, dump her, she's playing you, like all Thai women do '? ( In that case their Thai wives and Gf's are playing them too )

Personally I don't believe your story is 100% true, the Millionaire of 50 with the red hot 17 year old, the pro athlete she was with................................................................ yet has no passport, it just don't add up.

But if it is true , she's better off without such a weakling as yourself, you talk one thing to her, yet on here you slam her into the ground, pathetic.

She would be better off meeting ,' Wee Jock, poo pong McPlop the public toilet cleaner from Aberdeen '

Edited February 6, 2009 by Maigo6

[joopjip]

No thais don't lie a lot and some of us do plan things ahead. This doesn't have much to do with Thai culture, some of us grow up in very organized and respectful families while others don't just like in any country.

I think the hardest thing for farangs living in Thailand if not having thai colleaques is get to know Thais because middle-class Thais don't usually want anything to do with farangs. Good Thai girls also don't really like farangs, that's why you often end up with crazy girls. Anddd when you are with crazy girls you also look silly hence no good Thais want to know you plus you guys are so good at making yourselves look bad by hanging around soi cowboy etc. Funny how many farangs think Thais look up to them. It is embarrasing to be seen with farangs not the other way around so if I were you I'd start doing something about that today!!!

[Maigo6]

Even 24 hours ago, when I last spoke to her she was discussing our hypothetical wedding in great detail.

Whilst less than 24 hours ago you were discussing how bad she is in great detail, and how you are intending to use her for a final time before dumping her.

She's too good for you mate, no matter what she's doing.

[Hawkup2000]

Well, when I was in my early 20's I was a insensitive bastard. I had four different mobile numbers, and four different sets of business cards.

Point is; sometimes it is a great hassle to change sims cards and all. Sometimes I did change it to just send a sms, but that gave me a bigger headache because sometimes the girl rang me up. It was just more convenient to turn it off and then say that I've been for a weekend trip to Nürnberg ring or UK and forgotten the charger or dropped the phone in the street resulting in some electric fault and all the numbers were stored on the phone ect ect...

Forget her. It's Friday. Go out to a club and be amazed how many beautiful girls there are out there .

Edited February 6, 2009 by Hawkup2000

[brian272727]

Re Malaysia, she was all excited about it, her parents were excited, she had been sending me links to website of things we could go and do. Its not a Caribbean cruise but its a start for a girl from the slums of Bangkok, nice 5* hotel down by the harbour etc

Also why would she be better off with someone 33 years her senior? Its hardly the basis for a great relationship is it? Not exactly going to have many shared interests. She said it herself she found him disgusting.

The sportsman was married so I doubt he was doing nothing more than treating her as a bit on the side. I know exactly who he is as I have seen her emails to him. You want me to post his name??? thought not.

The Norwegian millionnaire, again I know about, I have also seen the pictures and quite frankly I can see why he needs to sponsor a girl to have female company. He is repulsive. She also showed me the bank card he gave her and the Gucci handbag and shoes.

I am not exactly poor myself, I can afford to go visit her 5 times a year and we did get married I could afford to support her.

She has never been abroad, if she did she would have a passport, they last for 5 years do they not??? She eventually emailed me through a picture of her passport, so I know she got one made 2 weeks ago, expiration Jan 2014

I don't proclaim to be some saviour or gods gift. I am a decent guy though. And before you go on abour flaming her on an internet forum, you have no idea who I am talking about. She is faceless.

If I wanted I could EASILY get some revenge on this girl, I have no intention of that, if she does contact me I will go meet her for lunch and ask for an explanation.

Edited February 6, 2009 by brian272727

[M555]

Re Malaysia, she was all excited about it, her parents were excited, she had been sending me links to website of things we could go and do. Its not a Caribbean cruise but its a start for a girl from the slums of Bangkok, nice 5* hotel down by the harbour etc

Also why would she be better off with someone 33 years her senior? Its hardly the basis for a great relationship is it? Not exactly going to have many shared interests. She said it herself she found him disgusting.

The sportsman was married so I doubt he was doing nothing more than treating her as a bit on the side. I know exactly who he is as I have seen her emails to him. You want me to post his name??? thought not.

The Norwegian millionnaire, again I know about, I have also seen the pictures and quite frankly I can see why he needs to sponsor a girl to have female company. He is repulsive. She also showed me the bank card he gave her and the Gucci handbag and shoes.

I am not exactly poor myself, I can afford to go visit her 5 times a year and we did get married I could afford to support her.

She has never been abroad, if she did she would have a passport, they last for 5 years do they not??? She eventually emailed me through a picture of her passport, so I know she got one made 2 weeks ago, expiration Jan 2014

I don't proclaim to be some saviour or gods gift. I am a decent guy though. And before you go on abour flaming her on an internet forum, you have no idea who I am talking about. She is faceless.

If I wanted I could EASILY get some revenge on this girl, I have no intention of that, if she does contact me I will go meet her for lunch and ask for an explanation.

Me Thinks you are dreaming and a Troll.

[brian272727]

Uptoyou

I am 100% no troll.

Anyway, I have nothing more to add.

If I hear anything I will post but doubtful.

[GungaDin]

Brian, a bit of advice......

Give it a rest!

[samesamebutdifferent]

What are you after Brian272727 ? do you want this forums' members to endorse what your planning to do? Your intentions seem to be as underhand as this girls (if she exists). You're made for each other.