The Perfect Breakup

[Surfing Spleen]

Either starve her for three days and make her choose between you and a big steaming bowl of guidiao or take her to a wicked roller coaster and scream, "I'm breaking up with you!" at the top of your lungs right as you are both upside down at high speed on the scariest section of the ride.

[najman]

I tried to break p with my girl friend once. Her personality is very different to mine. Cultural differences are easier to get over than personality differences. She likes to sleep a lot - I dont. She likes to watch a lot of crappy TV - I don't. I want to go out and do something on a regular basis - she doesn't. I like to communicate - she doesn't

These are the sorts of problems that can only get worse.

Where as problems like she likes this food I like that food. Or "this is how you do it in thailand" can be gotten around.

I think just honesty is the way to go about breaking up. Explain to her your reasons and make it clear it is simply differences between you that wouldn't work.

She probably wont see your point since her level of man she's looking for will be a lot less detailed as the quailties you are looking for and will just take it as rejection no matter what you say.

She will probably try to win you back with sms's of i love you, or I can't forget you etc. Which will make you feel sorrier for her and then maybe go back to her. So I recommend stating your case, ask for her input, try to get her to see the situation and then cut contact. If you still keep in contact with her after that, sms, chatting, phone or e-mail it will just make it harder to finish with her. I know coz I'm in that situation now. It's going to take longer for her to see it but I think it will be best for both of you.

The fact that she ever choose to be a bar girl shows what kind of person she is. When education costs about 3000 baht per month only the laziest girls wouldn't save up to educate themselves to get a proper job. Even if they saved for 5 months in bar girl work. But how many do that? I never heard of it. Education in Thailand is cheap, if they worked hard they could get a degree in a few yers and get a good job. But 99% of them wouldn't bother even contemplating the idea. Too lazy. Easier just to find a well off farang that can take care of her.

Good luck.

[Zorne]

I tried to break p with my girl friend once. Her personality is very different to mine. Cultural differences are easier to get over than personality differences. She likes to sleep a lot - I dont. She likes to watch a lot of crappy TV - I don't. I want to go out and do something on a regular basis - she doesn't. I like to communicate - she doesn't

These are the sorts of problems that can only get worse.

Where as problems like she likes this food I like that food. Or "this is how you do it in thailand" can be gotten around.

I think just honesty is the way to go about breaking up. Explain to her your reasons and make it clear it is simply differences between you that wouldn't work.

She probably wont see your point since her level of man she's looking for will be a lot less detailed as the quailties you are looking for and will just take it as rejection no matter what you say.

She will probably try to win you back with sms's of i love you, or I can't forget you etc. Which will make you feel sorrier for her and then maybe go back to her. So I recommend stating your case, ask for her input, try to get her to see the situation and then cut contact. If you still keep in contact with her after that, sms, chatting, phone or e-mail it will just make it harder to finish with her. I know coz I'm in that situation now. It's going to take longer for her to see it but I think it will be best for both of you.

The fact that she ever choose to be a bar girl shows what kind of person she is. When education costs about 3000 baht per month only the laziest girls wouldn't save up to educate themselves to get a proper job. Even if they saved for 5 months in bar girl work. But how many do that? I never heard of it. Education in Thailand is cheap, if they worked hard they could get a degree in a few yers and get a good job. But 99% of them wouldn't bother even contemplating the idea. Too lazy. Easier just to find a well off farang that can take care of her.

Good luck.

Good post, TY!

[gpdjohn]

I was involved with a lady of the evening down in Nakon Nyok a few years back. We had been together for approx; 2yrs 2 months.

Dark skinned beauty she was. We hit it off right away ( after I put 10k into her pocket )

Move forward 1 year...

We had moved in together, made all the plans that young loves do.. marriage, children, house with a white picket fence, etc.

Met the fam, drinkin buds with the dad and brother, lived in Kabin in eastern thailand, dirt poor and raised pigs. I promised 'em that there will be 2 million sin sod. Everyone was happy. I mean really happy. It was a dream come true, granted I was 45 and she was 17.

move forward 1 more year...

I got tired of watching cartoons, eating mac and cheese and singing Dora songs. I couldn't stand her anymore and was giving it the old thought of tossing her ass out.

She was in the kitchen making a fish sandwich and I told her that I wanted out, and that she needed to get out.

The room went dark for a moment. I felt a sudden sharp pain on my temple and then my stomach. I noticed she was holding a cheese grader and it looked like some soft red cheese on it...

It was my face! She had graded my face with the small grades(?) and then used the bigger ones side ( make sense ) on my stomach. It hurt like hel_l.

I backhanded her across the kitchen. She slid like on ice. Unluckily she came up from the ground next to the knife drawer. She quickly reached into the drawer and pulled out the biggest knife and started across slashing it like Jack T. Ripper.

I used several moves that I had learned watching TiBo and used a combat push to extend my distance from her..she had sliced through my pinky finger causing it to fall onto the floor near her feet. She screamed some nasty words and smashed my severed finger into a flat mush.

I screamed like a stuck pig and went full force into her, arms whipping like a windmill, using every single swear word I had ever learned.

First, I pulled off her right ear and threw it to the ground.

Then I stuck 2 fingers up her nose ( naries ) and like in the Jack Nicholson movie, I ripped upward tearing her naries wide open...the blood was then flying..

Pushed her back and gave a roundhouse kick that woulda impressed any cage fighter...

She was down and out.

I left the house never to return.

I never heard from her again.

Is this what you are looking for? It's all here, blood, violence and grit..

( it's all a LIE )

[longstebe]

Keep it short and sweet.Avoid the bar,be strong in yourself and change your sim card.Job done.Like some of the guys have said she will get over it.Dont think about it.

[misspalin]

Breaking up with a bargirl is hard to do .Like you think she actually cares.

[misspalin]

I realize offcourse that there is no such thing as a perfect break up. And the way people break up varies a lot depending who we are and what circumstances etc. Anyway, here goes...

I find myself in a, for me, totally new situation. My mind is set up on breakin up with my thai girlfriend. I just havnt done it yet. I would appreciate any help you can give me in this matter.

Some background. This is my first thai girlfriend. We meat about a year ago in the bar where she worked. She is 19 and has worked in a bar for about 5 months total. We didnt become a "serious" couple until a few months ago, ie when I came here to Thailand for a longer visit. We have been living together since. I know she loves me a lot. I have met her family and we all got along very well.

The resons for breakin up is not that she has done anything bad or that I have found someone new. The reasons are purely cultural. We have tried to overcome cultural and educational differences but it doesnt seem to work. You can call me impatient or whatever but this is how it is. I can not change what I feel and I am not willing to put more effort in it than I already have.

There are however a few things that makes it difficult for me to break up. She is young, thai and a former bar girl. I can imagine some of the reactions and I fear a little bit what might just happen. Also, I genuinly care about the girl but I do not feel the kind of love for her that I think she should have from a boyfriend. I worry that she would go back working in the bars again. Offcourse I realize it is highly likely and that I cannot do anything about this. But I feel bad about it though.

What would be my best approach to break up? Are there any things I should be aware off? What kind of reactions should I anticipate? All help is appreciated!

Thank you!

Concerned Zorne

Barfining a competitor always works for me

[AsiaMB]

I realize offcourse that there is no such thing as a perfect break up. And the way people break up varies a lot depending who we are and what circumstances etc. Anyway, here goes...

I find myself in a, for me, totally new situation. My mind is set up on breakin up with my thai girlfriend. I just havnt done it yet. I would appreciate any help you can give me in this matter.

Some background. This is my first thai girlfriend. We meat about a year ago in the bar where she worked. She is 19 and has worked in a bar for about 5 months total. We didnt become a "serious" couple until a few months ago, ie when I came here to Thailand for a longer visit. We have been living together since. I know she loves me a lot. I have met her family and we all got along very well.

The resons for breakin up is not that she has done anything bad or that I have found someone new. The reasons are purely cultural. We have tried to overcome cultural and educational differences but it doesnt seem to work. You can call me impatient or whatever but this is how it is. I can not change what I feel and I am not willing to put more effort in it than I already have.

There are however a few things that makes it difficult for me to break up. She is young, thai and a former bar girl. I can imagine some of the reactions and I fear a little bit what might just happen. Also, I genuinly care about the girl but I do not feel the kind of love for her that I think she should have from a boyfriend. I worry that she would go back working in the bars again. Offcourse I realize it is highly likely and that I cannot do anything about this. But I feel bad about it though.

What would be my best approach to break up? Are there any things I should be aware off? What kind of reactions should I anticipate? All help is appreciated!

Thank you!

Concerned Zorne

it depends if you give a shit about the person you are breaking up with..... if not a fax, sms, or send an email......

[tijnebijn]

What boggles my mind is why the involvement with the family only after 3 months and knowing her history. This is where the real hate will come from, the girl will get over it and move on or to the next punter or go back to the bar and probably be quite happy about it. But her loss of face with the family (she couldn't keep a guy) and the hope you brought by interacting with the family of a big pay day (sin sod) will be the motivating force for any negative responses you receive, Next time get to know the girl before you decide to make nice with the family. Guess what, that nice family that liked you so much and go on so well with will curse the day they met you and their combined hatred will motivate either the girl or a family member to retaliate. I hope this won't be the case but the best advice is to cut and run and start fresh and learn the lessons.

I think the save face issues are about to fade away in the younger societies in Thailand.

Their social behavor is very different from the older generations.

Teenagers and young adults split up very frequently these days. Just as they do back home.

What boggles me is actually the fact that this is a 35 year old that claims he is worrried about his 19 year old (!!) girlfriend's reaction when he breaks up with her.

I find it strange that nobody here reacts to the age difference.

I know that the age difference does not matter that much, when we are a bit older.

But 35 and 19?

He is pushing 40, and she is still a teenager!

Surprised ?

No I'm not , we are used to see much greater age differences here in Thailand !

There difference is only 16 years .

peanuts

[t.s]

Keep it short and sweet.Avoid the bar,be strong in yourself and change your sim card.Job done.Like some of the guys have said she will get over it.Dont think about it.

change your sim card? what about those of us who live and work here and have for some time. i have had the same phone number for over 10 years and i have nevwer once felt the need to change it over a breakup.

seems rather a pathetic suggestion unless your only here to shag for a couple of months a year.

perhaps next time it all goes wrong i should sell the house and car too.

[longstebe]

Keep it short and sweet.Avoid the bar,be strong in yourself and change your sim card.Job done.Like some of the guys have said she will get over it.Dont think about it.

change your sim card? what about those of us who live and work here and have for some time. i have had the same phone number for over 10 years and i have nevwer once felt the need to change it over a breakup.

seems rather a pathetic suggestion unless your only here to shag for a couple of months a year.

perhaps next time it all goes wrong i should sell the house and car too.

Well its a good job this TOPIC is not about you! Or is it you just like to tell everyone you have been here a long time.Typical reply of a 'KNOW IT ALL'. Read the post again.