Those Happy Moments

[onni4me]

It seems that many subjects on this forum are concentrating in the serious issues and - perhaps - the more darker side of relationships. I decided to give it a try and ask if anyone has experiences that made them happy or unforgettable.

Most of my happy moments are from the time that I was attending more to the scene. I suppose it's the way that most of us met those days. Internet - at least in the beginning - was not that popular and in this regard people 10 years younger are living very different lives from what it used to be.

One of my happy moments took place when I met a Vietnamese guy in local disco/bar of Helsinki. He was a bit older than me but still very good looking and youngish (what a word!). He was my first experience of an Asian guy and I was a bit excited. And the normal thing followed.

In the morning, however, he had prepared a soup for me and started by massaging me into awareness. He was so kind and attending that I was amazed. That kind of thing is not part of the dealings where I come from (unfortunately!) and I was enjoying the closeness and care that I got.

That experience was so good that we met several times and became friends. Later on he opened a massage parlor with his friends and got so busy that we sort of drifted apart. There was never talk about becoming boyfriends or nothing that sort.

Maybe this does not sound much but the thrill seeing him and experiencing total commitment for mutual happiness was quite a treat to me during those days. It opened my eyes to possibilities seeking another kind of world. It was so different compared to the most Finnish people who didn't seem to be able to contact other human being without being totally blasted. And in the morning - of course - no smile, no exchange of numbers, no thanks and definately no sensual feelings afterwards. So, this encounter came to brighten my life and I started thinking of giving Asia a visit in the near future (actually it took 4 years from that point before I visited Thailand 1st time - a time wasted).

I've met many lovely Asians since but this guy always stays in my heart being the first to show me the kindness and caring and best qualities of a true Asian male. To Trang, wherever you are. He gave me hope to find someone for real. Maybe I am a bit sissy but I am a firm believer of romance and being gentle and caring in a relationship.

[yumidesign]

If the world was made up of more people like you it would be a much better place and in a lot better shape than it is.

[Ijustwannateach]

Excellent thread topic!

Some moments (though generally not about Asians):

1. That first time when I could hold and cuddle another guy in bed and it was ok with him, too

2. First time walking around hand-in-hand with a guy, in an area deserted enough that there was no worry over stupid homophobic people- ah, the simple pleasures

3. Realising the first time that there really was someone for everyone, even if I didn't consider myself all that attractive at the time

4. Coming out to my family- not because of their reaction to it, but because of MY reaction.

5. First time having close gay *friends*

[bruceboy]

Some excellent thoughts.

[mezzoninny]

Excellent topic, even if it does make me feel a bit (okay, make that quite) un-Asian

[onni4me]

3. Realising the first time that there really was someone for everyone, even if I didn't consider myself all that attractive at the time

4. Coming out to my family- not because of their reaction to it, but because of MY reaction.

Yes, I suppose many of us western guys have been there. I wasn't that bad looking either but my self-esteem was very low. But that is just why the first experiences (that did not involve judgmental attitudes) were so lovely - and rare.

And I agree that coming out to my family was a good decision despite all. Some deepened their feelings towards me and some distanced themselves. Can't live for them.

I just got to think of movies that made a permanent effect on me. 'Brideshead revisited' came from Finnish television at the time and made a deep impact on me even I wasn't quite sure was there any 'thrill' between the characters. There must've been since I was so glued to the screen. Anthony Andrews...ah. I later found out that the finnish translation was altered slightly to get rid of the 'gay' hints. Nice! But that was Kekkoslovakia as we call it (President Kekkonen was re-elected every now and then and the system was quite similar to the old Soviet...hmm...someone might add that it still is...). Anyway, that series gave me an idea that there were something better to be expected in the far future. Gave me strenth to go through all those years of heterosexual propaganda. Finland - and particularly countryside where I was living - was superconservative. Terrible for any young lad who happened to be gay.

The second movie that really opened my eyes - and as I am such a romantic - made me cry... 'Maurice' here's what Wiki had to say:

Maurice is a novel by E. M. Forster. A tale of homosexual love in early 20th century England, it follows Maurice Hall from his schooldays, through university and beyond. It was written from 1913 onwards. Although it was shown to selected friends, such as Christopher Isherwood, it was only published in 1971 after Forster's death.

The novel is remarkable for its time in describing same-sex love in a non-condemnatory way. Forster resisted publication because of public and legal attitudes to homosexuality — a note found on the manuscript read: "Publishable, but worth it?". Forster was particularly keen that his novel should have a happy ending, but knew that this would make the book too controversial.However, by the time he died, British attitudes and law had changed.

The novel was made into a film Maurice (1987), directed by James Ivory and starring James Wilby as Maurice, Hugh Grant as Clive and Rupert Graves as Alec.

"Publishable, but worth it?", indeed. I really envy the strength of individuals that fight for us others. That movie was one of the great events in my gay life, I was 16 when it was released. After seeing it I decided that there must be someone for me too. Keeping hope alive seems to be the task for artists and writers. I thank them for that.

[Ijustwannateach]

Had another moment of happiness when I discovered the parallel gay world that exists alongside the straight one, just about everywhere in the world. And yet *another* moment of happiness when I discovered that this parallel world is more intense outside the conservative states of the U.S.!!!

[endure]

When my Mum knocked on the bedroom door before bringing the BF and me a cup of tea

[PeaceBlondie]

That incredible first date with Tien, when my daughter connected us by mobile phone, and later the older boy and his roommate left the house so that I could put Tien on my bed. Wow.

[dukkha]

Voyuerism...I am not sure..... Dukkha

[Jingthing]

OK, a happy, funny moment.

My boyfriend and I (both 23) were taking the boat from Boston to Provincetown. We had a nice chat with an older straight married couple who thought we were "normal" young men. Then one of us (I forget which) called the other HONEY, naturally as we always did at home without meaning to make a coming out statement, and they heard, the look on their faces was priceless.

[drfang]

I remember 25 years ago , my boyfriend and i went to a fireworks display in St Kilda, Melbourne. It started to rain, so i sort of wrapped him in my leather jacket, so there we were, both snuggled into the same jacket, ignoring the looks of the crowd around us. I recall a feeling of real closness to him, and also being proud that we were brave enough to do it, and not give a toss what others thought. He is now sadly dead, a victim of the HIV scourge of the 1980s.

PS come to the march tomorrow, we need to be visible.

love

[tiza]

2 weeks ago a guy whom I barely knew but I have been having a crush on singing a song for me at a university pub. He just simply said in the last song that he wanted to dedicate this song to ... from Thailand the guy who wore ornage jumper at the centre back of the pub. I was totally blushing.. :-)

Until now I haven't found out if he's gay or just being very friendly. We've only met a few times and had 5minutes or something talk in total. He 's British and supposedly be 19-20 y/o

[Ijustwannateach]

GO FOR HIM!!!