Farang Kids Being Raised By The Isaan Nanny

[Heng]

Educated nannies are few and far between. Even the ones from the various nanny centers... I've seen some pretty mixed results. Nothing IMO is better than both parents on the scene. And if you have more than one child, it should (again IMO) be one nanny max per child.

Edited February 22, 2009 by Heng

[jellymeister]

Maybe if OP had been raised by just such an Isaan nanny, he wouldn't be terrorizing strangers in cinemas

[blue eyes]

The years I lived in Thailand as a child I had two live in nanny/housekeepers,they are sisters and from Issan.When I lived in Bangkok I went to ISB as did my sister and brother and we had a good education and good memories of that time.I think that is why as an adult I could never get my love for Thailand and its people out of my mind.So I guess that is my curse,I married a beautiful woman from Issan and had kids and am living a beautiful and happy life.So there.

Glad things turned out well for you.

I am Thai, born in Isaan, actually, but grew up in the States and travelled much. The first few years of my life was in the care of two Isaan nannies. My parents were busy professors. You got lucky. My two nannies were so mean I can remember them 38 years later. Once my parents were gone, I was yelled at, pushed, pinched ( the liked to grab a fold of skin and twist till you scream ) and ridiculed in coarse Isaan language. I was too little to know how to articulate what was happening to my parents. The other nannies around our neighborhood were the same.

I know it is debatable, but little or no education, coupled with a hard life, IMO, DOES make a difference in people's treatment of others. I soiled my pants as a small child and instead of helping me go potty, they stood me there and mocked me, parading me around for ridicule, without cleaning me up. Refused to let me bathe. Kept away food. etc... The only Isaan nannies I've seen were coarse and didn't care about dangerous situations, like most in the west. Nannies come cheap. Just go elsewhere if fired.

I know others out there have had great nannies from Isaan but as an Isaan born woman, having been there and seen it myself as a child, I would never consider an Isaan nanny. Luckily, I don't have to.

That said, good for you! I probably got the worse of the bunch.

Sorry to hear that you had such a "ruff" life with a nanny.Takeing a guess I would think that because you where Thai and from Issan they may have been jelous of your good life.Not excusing the way that you where treated but in their mind who knows.Just remember,what goes around comes around!!!That should help in forgeting about them.

Hey Sam125 just try and complain to the manager in a Thai theater and see where it gets you.You really made me laugh with that one. :jerk:

[Heng]

Next time, take a traffic cop/sports type whistle and start blowing. They'll figure it out. Good for the farang "image" as well.

[dumball]

There was something in the depths of my brain when I commented on child upbringing and why illiterare nannies steeped in history were not the ideal way to go , when you get on a little , recall becomes a little sluggish . I read something since then that set my mind to work on the importance of early child training , our brain is a bunch of neurons that communicate with each other , telling us how to act or what to do , these neurons are set to work by synapses that are activated by what goes on around us at any given time , the more diverse the activity , the greater the learning capability as we progress through life . An 8 month old child has trillions of these synapses teaching the neurons what to do , these reactions slowly die down until around 8/10 years of age , rapid learning process is cut to around 50% . Should a child not be reared in a learning environment at an early age , future potential is greatly reduced , they will basically revolve(Evolve) around the simple things they were surrounded by at an early age . So there are times when you think some-one may know more about a subject in which you have had little to no experience ( child rearing) and you are most likely correct , parenting is not a general school subject , this means you only have your own life experience , is that enough for an innocent child to unwittingly place themselves in your care to thier future detriment ? I honestly think not , and to hand them over to a person who is not educated in child care , is a pretty rotten thing to do to a child whom you proffess to love .

[G54]

so when a group of kids are yelling to the next group of kids in a different row in a theater and ruining the experience for the rest of the audience, and I tell them to stop, I am embarrassing myself?

Nope ! You are doing what adults in the World hae always done..... Up until recently when somebody decided that the World now revolves around kids .. They were lucky not to have got a clip round the ear and be thrown out of the cinema .. Like they were when I was a teen ( not that long ago ether before you all say I'm old ) But unfortunately Thailand is going the way of the West... Kid's run amok in every public situation now.. Aircraft, cinemas, restuarants, shopping center etc.. Parents seldom check their behavior and even less often tell them to 'sssshhh!' or behave.. How long before Asia becomes like the UK where adults are too scared of the consequences to challenge unruly children..

Bring back ''seen and not heard'

Sounds like me on one of my better days. Agree totally.

I have never understood the reasoning behind having children and then getting someone else to look after them. Why have kids in the first place if you are going to farm them out to a nanny? Half the joy is raising the children yourself. Hearing those first words, seeing those fist fumbling steps as they learn to walk. The teething, smelly nappies. All good fun.

Hard up? Both have to work and so forego raising the children yourself? Why have them in the first place?

Exception - having a g/f who already has a child or children and circumstances are such that for the sake of her and the children you do both need to work. Not the same as having children and farming them out.

[Heng]

A nanny is just like any hired help or power tool in your garage. It's how you use and apply her to your child's upbringing. Most of your child's time should still be spent with the parents. And that's anywhere.

I've seen far more examples of bad (sometimes not by choice... sometimes the parents just simply don't have enough time and/or money for children, much less hired help) parenting and grand-parenting than bad nanny-ing.

I suspect that many of the more vocal critics probably are experiencing dissatisfaction with their own lives: maybe you'd like someone to help watch your little tyke in the middle of the night because he/she doesn't understand that you need to get up and work to feed them/pay the bills/the rent at 7am; or you just got back from the supermarket and are annoyed that your baby takes up half the shopping cart and you couldn't buy everything you wanted because they took up half of the cart's space (when a nanny pushing them along in another cart would have been OH so helpful; or maybe you inhaled to much of your child's urine or feces in his/her 20th diaper change this week (a Lao and/or Issan nanny is more biologically/socio-economically adept at digesting these things), etc. ...and just feel a need to vent.

[dave9988]

(a Lao and/or Issan nanny is more biologically adept at digesting these things)

Well, it was a real eye opener for us all when those scientists located the "urine/feces handling" gene in Lao/Isaan women.

[Heng]

(a Lao and/or Issan nanny is more biologically adept at digesting these things)

Well, it was a real eye opener for us all when those scientists located the "urine/feces handling" gene in Lao/Isaan women.

More social conditioning than genetics... but IMO it does affect what one's nose can tolerate.

Compared to a lot of jobs out there: say 10 hour factory days or lying on one's back collecting different strains of genital warts and herpes sores from all over the world for example, ....cleaning up spilled/spit up/half chewed food, changing diapers, etc., typically all in air conditioned surroundings, sleeping in the main house and not the maid's quarters... is a walk in the park.

Edited February 27, 2009 by Heng

[scottyd]

I'd use an Issan nanny if she was cheap as chips, and sexy. She could even stay in the master bedroom.

[Swelters]

It may be that wise people don't worry much about middle-class aspirations (white, credentialled, english, etc) and it may be that the current collapse of western values raises good questions about the value of such things. I would suggest that parental reading of the Hobbit, Shakespeare, etc to english speaking kids and putting them in the company of people of good character, never mind the social class or language, will produce results to be proud of. I see no reason to think that the people in my village are any less happy or successful in life than my former University and venture capital friends in Palo Alto California. My oldest kids, now in their forties, were cared for by two Isan girls and I don't think any fahlang kids that I know ever received more love and attention for the first couple of years of their lives.

Swelters

Edited February 27, 2009 by Swelters

[luisparis]

I suspect that many of the more vocal critics probably are experiencing dissatisfaction with their own lives: maybe you'd like someone to help watch your little tyke in the middle of the night because he/she doesn't understand that you need to get up and work to feed them/pay the bills/the rent at 7am; or you just got back from the supermarket and are annoyed that your baby takes up half the shopping cart and you couldn't buy everything you wanted because they took up half of the cart's space (when a nanny pushing them along in another cart would have been OH so helpful; or maybe you inhaled to much of your child's urine or feces in his/her 20th diaper change this week (a Lao and/or Issan nanny is more biologically/socio-economically adept at digesting these things), etc. ...and just feel a need to vent.

So much food for thought in this thread... had a smile when first read this post thinking " oh how useful a nanny indeed is when we go out" ... than the economic crisis abruptly turned into a family tragedy upon our return from Hong Kong earlier this week when I saw our nepali nanny who is about to marry a young fellow working in a Silom tailor shop...a glory by itself...

Faced with her face heavily made up (painted would be more accurate), fake eyelashes who looked like thich hair torn off from a broom, forearms covered in tribal paintings, and ...and ...thick gold necklace and earrings Had almost a heart attack and decided to sleep it over... morning wasn't better... fired ! far too colourful for our house... but talk about unconvenient way of life despite sending the kid to the nursery (much more formative there than with the nanny I reckon). After a few days without diner in restaurants, and looking at my wife panicking in Paragon, running from office to school via the supermarket carrying the 12kgs very happy monster... shopping, preparing the soup, doing paperwork, sleeping late, waking up early...I thought this really can't go on and had the secretary we just hired and who should stop for my own sake coming to office wearing tight miniskirts call a few agencies offering thai speaking nannies this morning ...

Missus is actually quite satisfied to spend more time with her daughter and doesn't want anymore live in nanny and I sure trust her more than a stranger to take care of the young lady but I don't think a man or a woman should give up their way of life (and work) just to take care of a child , and even if you intend to spend a lot of time with your kids, outside help is probably a good idea.

Besides as this thread was about a Isaan nannies, I must admit that I have developped similar aversions to rough lao looks as to gold chains and I was quite worried of who would bring us the agency, but was pleasantly surprised to see a fat but arboring more peaceful central thai looks lady coming to our place... life is so challenging... and definetely more so with children...

Edited March 14, 2009 by luisparis

[Heng]

Yeah, Heng Jr. is 15 kgs. here. With the wife already hauling another 13-14 kgs. of water and infant in her womb, I couldn't imagine her having to also do the standard parental/household duties without the nanny doing the "heavy" lifting herself, not to mention everyone else who helps out.

I have friends who are single parents, and plenty more who have the one working/one at home setup going... and they literally have to be superheroes everyday because they don't have any help. Going to the crapper with their babies in their laps/having to wait until their kids go to sleep before taking a 2 minute Navy shower, trying to cook with their kids on the kitchen floor, etc.

[bobbysan124]

Ive never been able to understand this phenomenon. Rich parents pay someone with no education to raise their children for them. The fact that they are wealthy suggests that you are educated, therefore, how do they come to this decision? You cannpt go to the Phrom Pong area without seeing this. Half the time, the nanny will be chatting wildly with another nanny while the children walk behind them. You even see the farang children speaking degrees of fluent Thai and Isaan. Why do people have children if they have no interest in actually raising and caring for them?

Also, for those of you with teenage farang kids in high school and middle school here, can you pretty please tell them to Shut the F@## up in the movie theaters? I had to embarrass a couple of them the other day, and I know its not good for their self esteem, but since you have not taught them simple manners, I guess I have to. Please, do a better job raising your kids here inbetween all your "working late" nights.

aren't you just a delight?

why is it wrong for a child raised in thailand to be fluent in thai, farang or otherwise? And how does having a lesser educated nanny equate to ignorance or neglect?

i think the problem here is your own predjuice and snobbery.

and why are you focusing on farang children? i have heard many a noisy thai teen.

I suspect you are just a miserable git. focus on your own children.

Hmmm... Why send your kids to schools with educated teachers to teach them, why not let the janitor teach them? Level of education of the person raising the child has no bearing on the person the child will turn into, right?

Some of the biggest a_holes I've ever met have been well-educated and well-heeled financially. Neither equates with being a decent and good person.

[Heng]

Yeah, no correlation between poverty, education and crime, eh?

Ehm, non-white collar crime of course.

[TonySoprano]

Ouch. Since the majority of posters here, I imagine, have married into Isaan families of limited education and means, it seems a bit, off color, to ask "Why would anyone let an Isaan nanny raise their children"...