Thai Style Relationship

[Arkady]

Her definition,as near as I can determine, was that a "western" relationship was to close and confining with requirements of "accountability" to each other. My interpretation is that she wants freedom do do whatever she wishes without any scrutiny. I presume I can do the same. "Up to her" if she wants this, however, I have a problem with giving her money with such a non-commital relationship. It is likely to proceed to a dead end from my point of view. I was curious if any others had heard this term "Thai Style" or she just invented it?

You have already figured out what the status of your relationship is and didn't really need to ask here but perhaps want confirmation. You are her gik which means you are not her serious boyfriend and she is telling you frankly that she doesn't want to make a commitment to you. She is either already playing the field or actively looking for some one wealthier than you. As you point out, she is not desirable to wealthy Chinese Thais because they cannot take an Isaan girl home to mom, specially one with a history as a mia noi. Even Isaan men are not interested because of the latter point but she is not interested in them anyway. You are useful practice material for her while she prepares herself for the role of the wife of a wealthy farang. She may even keep you on on the side after she has achieved her dream, if you play your cards right. Nothing is going to change her attitude towards you and, if she ever does seem to come around, be extremely suspicious because this would just mean she is beginning to despair of ever finding some one more desirable than you and that is not a relatiionship you want to be in.

Your only options are: 1) accept it as a gik relationship, while looking for some one better, as she is doing; or 2) dump her. Anything else and you are setting yourself up for a big fall.

Personally I think you are very lucky that she is totally honest with you and you should be grateful for that. I have come across countless farangs who have been ripped to shreds by Thai girls from hi-so, lo-so and in between backgrounds, who made the farangs believe they would marry them but in reality just treated them as seat warmers for that special Thai man they really wanted to marry (or were already married to) or a game to make him jealous.

Edited March 4, 2009 by Arkady

[LadyHeather]

She probably does not want commitment yet, but she still wants her pasty smashed once in a while, that's what she has got you for. Mate, you truly are privileged.

Thank you for the compliment. However, as others have pointed out, I may not be the only one and I doubt that I am. Women can get all the sex they want for free & man will often pay for it. Most men don't generally have such opportunity.

Speak for yourself mate, speak for yourself.

Don't I recall reading that you are married? With a pregnant wife?

[alexth]

Dude, if this is something that troubles you enough to post all this Mickey Mouse type of subject here on TV, I think you have way much more bigger problems to sort out in your life. Good luck, you'll need it

[G54]

So this is in addition to your 'darling' at college who may be shagging a katoey?

Not the one who isn't answering her phone at weekends...you've known her about a year?

Sounds like you already have a 'Thai style' relationship with your women.....

The college girl has been history for several months. The present one in question now answers her phone on weekends, most of the time. Any more questions? Tell me about your trouble free & trustworthy relationships with Thai women.

my my ......u r changing your girls like changing your underwears.

Is this your third girl or forth... in a year?.....what happened to that nurse then?

Now, now, Teacup, Lass, we all know it takes time to find a good one (I know that)

A change is also as good as a rest as they say.

A2396, keep looking and you might find. Yet even I, with my optimistic outlook am beginning to wonder how small is the % of Thai ladies willing to stay in a long term relationship with one of us foreigners. From my recent and well commented on relationship we know it is hard to find a good one. (Though I feel there may be more news on that score in the future).

Keep changing your underwear because you might find some that are a perfect fit one day.

Chin up. pecker up and hand on wallet, don't go paying for any of that silk underwear though, as sexy as it may feel and look when wrapped around your nether regions.

[torrenova]

What about her family ? does she see you as a nice accessory but when it comes to marrying then she would revert to a Thai guy ? I've seen that in loads of women from many different countries and between social classes as well.

If I read right and you are sleeping with her then these boundaries as you term them must relate to future plans and not to the present as you are as intimate as you can get. Is that just pressure from you or does she need a few years of freedom before settling down ?

Hard to say without knowing her and having more information.

Her preferance would no douibt be to marry a rich Thai man. I am neither. However, she is from the "wrong side of the tracks" (ie, from a poor Issan family, to be marriage bait for a rich Thai), She also was a Mia Noi to a rich Thai for 3 years and I would think this might tarnish her credentials for marriage a bit. Although, she has said numerous times she does not want to get married (probably just not to me). Her "boundries" apply to the relationship as it is now, by the way, with restrictions as to how often we see each other. I think she wants maximum free time to search for the "golden goose".

Well you answer your own question don't you. She was a mia noi which is nigh on the same as a hooker so she was set up. You did not say a gik.

She enjoys what she has with you but she hankers after more, as unrealistic as that might be. You'll just have to decide whether you can live with that but as I suspect you want more, then be prepared to have to find someone else to provide that.

[futureexpat]

I am not sure why it matters if he is changing girlfriends or not, sometimes you have to sort through the chaff to find the wheat

Just curious as to why you don't just ask your girlfriend what she means by a "Thai style" relationship? I am not sure what she means, it could be several things. Perhaps it means just giks, perhaps it means, cheat on me and I feed your willy to the ducks. Only she can know what she is referring to and I think you should just ask her.

Find out the answer and proceed from there.

Her definition,as near as I can determine, was that a "western" relationship was to close and confining with requirements of "accountability" to each other. My interpretation is that she wants freedom do do whatever she wishes without any scrutiny. I presume I can do the same. "Up to her" if she wants this, however, I have a problem with giving her money with such a non-commital relationship. It is likely to proceed to a dead end from my point of view. I was curious if any others had heard this term "Thai Style" or she just invented it?

Wait. You are paying her money? If so, I'm not sure why several posters here seem envious of you for paying money to sleep with a supposedly ex-mia noi. She sounds like a sponsor collector that wants her freedom in order to go with clients when she needs to.

[a2396]

I am not sure why it matters if he is changing girlfriends or not, sometimes you have to sort through the chaff to find the wheat

Just curious as to why you don't just ask your girlfriend what she means by a "Thai style" relationship? I am not sure what she means, it could be several things. Perhaps it means just giks, perhaps it means, cheat on me and I feed your willy to the ducks. Only she can know what she is referring to and I think you should just ask her.

Find out the answer and proceed from there.

Her definition,as near as I can determine, was that a "western" relationship was to close and confining with requirements of "accountability" to each other. My interpretation is that she wants freedom do do whatever she wishes without any scrutiny. I presume I can do the same. "Up to her" if she wants this, however, I have a problem with giving her money with such a non-commital relationship. It is likely to proceed to a dead end from my point of view. I was curious if any others had heard this term "Thai Style" or she just invented it?

Wait. You are paying her money? If so, I'm not sure why several posters here seem envious of you for paying money to sleep with a supposedly ex-mia noi. She sounds like a sponsor collector that wants her freedom in order to go with clients when she needs to.

Good comment & most probably true. I have thought this for some time. I am in the process of trying to "clear the air" with her now, because I just want the truth about the nature of our relationship, as she is conducting it. Until now, there has been quite bit of "misrepresentation" on her part.

[a2396]

She probably does not want commitment yet, but she still wants her pasty smashed once in a while, that's what she has got you for. Mate, you truly are privileged.

Thank you for the compliment. However, as others have pointed out, I may not be the only one and I doubt that I am. Women can get all the sex they want for free & man will often pay for it. Most men don't generally have such opportunity.

Speak for yourself mate, speak for yourself.

Don't I recall reading that you are married? With a pregnant wife?

No pregnant wife, sorry. The pregnant one was a FORMER GF of mine, who has now had the baby of some Thai boy who has since ditched her. Of course he has and had no money.

[jubby]

She probably does not want commitment yet, but she still wants her pasty smashed once in a while, that's what she has got you for. Mate, you truly are privileged.

Thank you for the compliment. However, as others have pointed out, I may not be the only one and I doubt that I am. Women can get all the sex they want for free & man will often pay for it. Most men don't generally have such opportunity.

Speak for yourself mate, speak for yourself.

Don't I recall reading that you are married? With a pregnant wife?

No pregnant wife, sorry. The pregnant one was a FORMER GF of mine, who has now had the baby of some Thai boy who has since ditched her. Of course he has and had no money.

I think she was refering to BKKjames Comment 'Speak for yourself'. But do tell us more. You certainly pick'em. You need to work on your natural defense mechanism . Gut instinct

Edited March 5, 2009 by jubby

[a2396]

Her definition,as near as I can determine, was that a "western" relationship was to close and confining with requirements of "accountability" to each other. My interpretation is that she wants freedom do do whatever she wishes without any scrutiny. I presume I can do the same. "Up to her" if she wants this, however, I have a problem with giving her money with such a non-commital relationship. It is likely to proceed to a dead end from my point of view. I was curious if any others had heard this term "Thai Style" or she just invented it?

You have already figured out what the status of your relationship is and didn't really need to ask here but perhaps want confirmation. You are her gik which means you are not her serious boyfriend and she is telling you frankly that she doesn't want to make a commitment to you. She is either already playing the field or actively looking for some one wealthier than you. As you point out, she is not desirable to wealthy Chinese Thais because they cannot take an Isaan girl home to mom, specially one with a history as a mia noi. Even Isaan men are not interested because of the latter point but she is not interested in them anyway. You are useful practice material for her while she prepares herself for the role of the wife of a wealthy farang. She may even keep you on on the side after she has achieved her dream, if you play your cards right. Nothing is going to change her attitude towards you and, if she ever does seem to come around, be extremely suspicious because this would just mean she is beginning to despair of ever finding some one more desirable than you and that is not a relatiionship you want to be in.

Your only options are: 1) accept it as a gik relationship, while looking for some one better, as she is doing; or 2) dump her. Anything else and you are setting yourself up for a big fall.

Personally I think you are very lucky that she is totally honest with you and you should be grateful for that. I have come across countless farangs who have been ripped to shreds by Thai girls from hi-so, lo-so and in between backgrounds, who made the farangs believe they would marry them but in reality just treated them as seat warmers for that special Thai man they really wanted to marry (or were already married to) or a game to make him jealous.

Very good comment. Thank you. She is not totally honest, but is better than most. I guess I am a bit unrealistic expecting back the same level of honesty I give her. She knows everything about me. I have no reson to hide anything. The biggest problem is have is that there is fairness. If I am one of other similar money-paying gents, who are getting similar time slots, then OK (sort of). But if, she is screwing some guy or guys for free & spending more time with them, then I have a big problem with that. Unfortunately, with this type of situation and the low level of trust & disclosure on her part, the real truth is unlikely to be known. I assume a GIK relationship is a "freebie", by the way. She is not a a freebie for me.

[henryalleman]

If a woman is financially indepedent why she should not enjoy her life of freedom. If she is, she sound like a very intelligent girl. BTW why should a woman get married, in fact she's much better off without a man. I think there are quit a lot of male chauvinists in this forum.

Why most man always think they are god's gift on earth.

[a2396]

If a woman is financially indepedent why she should not enjoy her life of freedom. If she is, she sound like a very intelligent girl. BTW why should a woman get married, in fact she's much better off without a man. I think there are quit a lot of male chauvinists in this forum.

Why most man always think they are god's gift on earth.

My lady is NOT financially independent. But, I agree threre should be no pressure for marriage, if one is not interested. Better off without a man (or man better off without a woman)? You know the definition of such people. Not my style, but "up to them".

[jubby]

If a woman is financially indepedent why she should not enjoy her life of freedom. If she is, she sound like a very intelligent girl. BTW why should a woman get married, in fact she's much better off without a man. I think there are quit a lot of male chauvinists in this forum.

Why most man always think they are god's gift on earth.

My lady is NOT financially independent. But, I agree threre should be no pressure for marriage, if one is not interested. Better off without a man (or man better off without a woman)? You know the definition of such people. Not my style, but "up to them".

These open relationships are great , everyone gets to screw around, some get paid for it. Sounds like paradise to me.

If not a little bit life threatening, nothing like living dangerously

[bkkjames]

She probably does not want commitment yet, but she still wants her pasty smashed once in a while, that's what she has got you for. Mate, you truly are privileged.

Thank you for the compliment. However, as others have pointed out, I may not be the only one and I doubt that I am. Women can get all the sex they want for free & man will often pay for it. Most men don't generally have such opportunity.

Speak for yourself mate, speak for yourself.

Don't I recall reading that you are married? With a pregnant wife?

And both of those points cleary illustrates what I said earlier

[t.s]

You have found a girl that dosen't want to get married? Snap her up while you can, you might not be so lucky again.

yep, sounds to me like she is just using you for sex. I feel very sorry for u.

Yes, now I know what women feel like when they accuse men of treating them like sexual objects, ha, ha. She complemented me once that "I play good", but that did not and does not equate to more time with her in bed. Therefore, I assume she has got others for different days of the week. If not, she is quite a squirrel (odd duck).

Don't let it go to your head mate. I have seen many a man who thought he was the cat's meow only to find out that his harem actually turned out to be a muffin baking and diving group of 4 who just like the LCD and aircon in his apartment.

spot on that is, funny too!

[t.s]

Her definition,as near as I can determine, was that a "western" relationship was to close and confining with requirements of "accountability" to each other. My interpretation is that she wants freedom do do whatever she wishes without any scrutiny. I presume I can do the same. "Up to her" if she wants this, however, I have a problem with giving her money with such a non-commital relationship. It is likely to proceed to a dead end from my point of view. I was curious if any others had heard this term "Thai Style" or she just invented it?

You have already figured out what the status of your relationship is and didn't really need to ask here but perhaps want confirmation. You are her gik which means you are not her serious boyfriend and she is telling you frankly that she doesn't want to make a commitment to you. She is either already playing the field or actively looking for some one wealthier than you. As you point out, she is not desirable to wealthy Chinese Thais because they cannot take an Isaan girl home to mom, specially one with a history as a mia noi. Even Isaan men are not interested because of the latter point but she is not interested in them anyway. You are useful practice material for her while she prepares herself for the role of the wife of a wealthy farang. She may even keep you on on the side after she has achieved her dream, if you play your cards right. Nothing is going to change her attitude towards you and, if she ever does seem to come around, be extremely suspicious because this would just mean she is beginning to despair of ever finding some one more desirable than you and that is not a relatiionship you want to be in.

Your only options are: 1) accept it as a gik relationship, while looking for some one better, as she is doing; or 2) dump her. Anything else and you are setting yourself up for a big fall.

Personally I think you are very lucky that she is totally honest with you and you should be grateful for that. I have come across countless farangs who have been ripped to shreds by Thai girls from hi-so, lo-so and in between backgrounds, who made the farangs believe they would marry them but in reality just treated them as seat warmers for that special Thai man they really wanted to marry (or were already married to) or a game to make him jealous.

Very good comment. Thank you. She is not totally honest, but is better than most. I guess I am a bit unrealistic expecting back the same level of honesty I give her. She knows everything about me. I have no reson to hide anything. The biggest problem is have is that there is fairness. If I am one of other similar money-paying gents, who are getting similar time slots, then OK (sort of). But if, she is screwing some guy or guys for free & spending more time with them, then I have a big problem with that. Unfortunately, with this type of situation and the low level of trust & disclosure on her part, the real truth is unlikely to be known. I assume a GIK relationship is a "freebie", by the way. She is not a a freebie for me.

sounds like you are discussing a time share

[teacup]

Now, now, Teacup, Lass, we all know it takes time to find a good one (I know that)

A change is also as good as a rest as they say.

A2396, keep looking and you might find.

err.....the OP may not have "that much time" left.......if you know what I mean....wink wink

[G54]

err.....the OP may not have "that much time" left.......if you know what I mean....wink wink

You are too sharp teacup

You sure you are not a steak knife in disguise?

[teacup]

You are too sharp teacup

You sure you are not a steak knife in disguise?

That's why you can never afford me, G54

and Oh...I have been known to kill men with just...... merely words and my butterknife ja

[bkkjames]

That's why you can never afford me, G54

and Oh...I have been known to kill men with just...... merely words and my butterknife ja

Yep, ol TC sure has legs that could kill.

[teacup]

Yep, ol TC sure has legs that could kill.

not counting my killing look and flying elbows too

[sbk]

Why not take this conversation to PM. Thanks.

[rixalex]

Why not take this conversation to PM. Thanks.

LOL

She means, "get a room!"

[sanmiguel]

After reading the first page and a half of this topic, i'm now firmly of the belief that most men on here are like gossiping women.

Have that for deep insight.

[henryalleman]

If a woman is financially indepedent why she should not enjoy her life of freedom. If she is, she sound like a very intelligent girl. BTW why should a woman get married, in fact she's much better off without a man. I think there are quit a lot of male chauvinists in this forum.

Why most man always think they are god's gift on earth.

My lady is NOT financially independent. But, I agree threre should be no pressure for marriage, if one is not interested. Better off without a man (or man better off without a woman)? You know the definition of such people. Not my style, but "up to them".

These open relationships are great , everyone gets to screw around, some get paid for it. Sounds like paradise to me.

If not a little bit life threatening, nothing like living dangerously

Why you automatic presume that there is some screwing around. You never heard of a Living Apart Together relationship.

I'm an 60 year old geezer but its seems I'm more open minded than some in this forum.

Maybe its because I'm a Northern continental European.