Another Sin Sod Question

[Kf6vci]

Daughters and their obligations to their mothers - books could be written! don't kid yourself thinking you will ever rise to be #1.

Well, isn't it customary to have a face to face meeting to discuss sin sod with MIL? Try that - some form of face saving deal where the money flows back towards the young couple's needs. And there will be such expenses like when you need to furnish that house you might want to rent.

Where would you be living? On whose income? The Euro is weak, life is no longer that affordable for those with no income and expenses in Baht

Count on some negotiations as this is not Arabia where one buys a bride for X camels.

As a caring parent, the MIL might want to sponsor her daughter and help you guys get a start. Those 300,000 won't go far - but I would not ignore the reality of low tide cash flow only to rush into a marriage you cannot afford.

How and where would you be the breadwinner?

Closing, I would suggest a large Gold Gift ceremony instead where say 5 Baht of gold plus maybe 50,000 Baht in large brown notes are publicly presented and then returned.

There should be a surprise when it comes to the gifts by the wedding guests

Take care and keep your cool

[Oldvisitor]

I don't know if sin sod is real or not, but I would never pay it. Could if be that in Thailand there's no retirement funds?

You'v got a lot of reading to do.

Yeah right ! Time for another beer though

[Sing_Sling]

From his silence two outcomes can be deduced:

a) He paid her the money and she cut contact, basically pissed him off to find another schmuck

b ) He didn't pay her the money and she cut contact and pissed him off to find another schmuck

Same same

(reason or edit; turns into a smiley. B followed by )

Edited March 23, 2010 by Sing_Sling

[Garry9999]

From his silence two outcomes can be deduced:

a) He paid her the money and she cut contact, basically pissed him off to find another schmuck

He didn't pay her the money and she cut contact and pissed him off to find another schmuck

Same same

Yes, 9 months of silence

[Inthai]

From his silence two outcomes can be deduced:

a) He paid her the money and she cut contact, basically pissed him off to find another schmuck

He didn't pay her the money and she cut contact and pissed him off to find another schmuck

Same same

Yes, 9 months of silence

I didnt pay her money and decided to cut contact and told her so.....and that was it. She did not call anymore nor write me an email, after all we went through.....end of story.

[Loz]

I love a happy ending. Well played, Sir!

[up-country_sinclair]

I didnt pay her money and decided to cut contact and told her so.....and that was it. She did not call anymore nor write me an email, after all we went through.....end of story.

Despite the short term pain, you must know that you're better off in the long run.

[needforspeed]

I should know after many years in TH but i am bit surprised still....

Now OP 4 years isn't a lot and please don't worry.

After 20 years i still got some kind of surprises coming around the corner in LOS.

I finish calling it the land of smiles but calling it "The land off suprises"

[zzdocxx]

I guess you last 10 or so guys all realized this was a first time poster, replying to a year old thread, right,

Right

Yes that is what I call "Classic thread scavenger hunt".

edit: amazing, the OP responded. Good luck to you!

Edited May 25, 2010 by zzdocxx

[neverdie]

From his silence two outcomes can be deduced:

a) He paid her the money and she cut contact, basically pissed him off to find another schmuck

He didn't pay her the money and she cut contact and pissed him off to find another schmuck

Same same

Yes, 9 months of silence

I didnt pay her money and decided to cut contact and told her so.....and that was it. She did not call anymore nor write me an email, after all we went through.....end of story.

Thanks for the update OP.

Good news for you (in the long run) & good riddance to her.

[moe666]

Who knows if it was good for him maybe she had a balloon payment on the rubber farm coming due and didn't feel like she could talk to him about it. Who knows maybe he missed out on the love of his life.

[tmwke]

My friend, 2 things, run fast, run far

Your wrong ! You should run further and faster than that .

[MAJIC]

This is pure Thai opportunism at its worst.

You didnt come into the relationship with a string of debts owed to the family,did you?,so why tolerate it now?

It will just go on and on,nip it in the bud now! especially as you are not exactly rolling in money yourself.

[smokie36]

OP well done you made the correct decision.

How about all future Sin Sod questions are referred to this thread.....a happy ending for once!

[h90]

take the "otherwise not marry" option.

Married with my wife from the south since 2002 and without ThaiVisa I would not even know what Sin Sod is.

From the few people I know who paid one, they got it back.

Like pay 200.000 and get a car, gold, house or land in exchange, or even the money back.

Just making a show for the old tradition......giving a sin sod to the parents, receiving a gift from the parents.

Transfer before on the bank account.....no way

[KunMatt]

I didnt pay her money and decided to cut contact and told her so.....and that was it. She did not call anymore nor write me an email, after all we went through.....end of story.

You chose not to pay the sinsod and YOU still finished it with her? Was the sinsod issue your reason for ending it? A bit rash if so.

Anyways, I'm sure you did the right thing. I've heard so many stories of girls marrying farangs, while having another financially supportive farang bf (usually the one they say is their true love but doesn't have enough money), and they are still looking for a better (richer) guy to marry, and no-one judges this as inappropriate. There should be a name and shame section of this forum so farangs can shop all these cheating girls to each other, with that sort of information that would really hit the economy here.

[kevozman1]

You are not Thai so why should you participate

in something that is dying out in their own culture.

[chops]

My Thai gf only requests 5,000 a month. She's scamming you.

[F1fanatic]

From his silence two outcomes can be deduced:

a) He paid her the money and she cut contact, basically pissed him off to find another schmuck

He didn't pay her the money and she cut contact and pissed him off to find another schmuck

Same same

Yes, 9 months of silence

I didnt pay her money and decided to cut contact and told her so.....and that was it. She did not call anymore nor write me an email, after all we went through.....end of story.

Don't count on it! I have a friend that broke up with the g/f he'd lived with for a year, but still cared for her. He gave her money to set up her own small business but after a few weeks she phoned him telling him she needed more money.

Needless to say it went on from there - she'd phone every month or so with a reason why she needed more money until he'd finally had enough and told her - NO!

He then received an incredibly awful text from her, which finally made him realise she wasn't the person he thought she was.

I hope you're luckier.

[Tanaka]

I had to return back to Germany last November, as I went nearly broke due to lots of bad investment decisions in 2008

Fast forward to 2009...

she mentioned that I need to transfer her at least 300'000 baht to her account, otherwise it will not be possible to get married, as her mother is demanding it.

...

She also asked for around 100'000 Baht to open a small restaurant in her village for her sister, which has no job right now.

Sounds like you're about to make lots of bad investment decisions in 2009 as well!

I normally don't comment in these threads, but this one's just too ironic not to. Of course you do not give her the money under any circumstances. That's the end of it. Everything else is just dealing with the personal emotional fallout of that correct decision.

Super comment

BTW

I'm 21 and my thai girfriend did the same thing last night ( 300000 THB ) + you pay rings party and 20000 for me ( 9 month relationship ). she is 20 no job no school intill i meet her she workt in a bar ( full monty precatly every night) and gave birth to a dead baby when she was 17. and if i dont pay she will leave me. Tonight i will make here the conteroffer of 100000 all inclusive and if she ( her grandmother ) not exepts her bag will be waiting at the door. and on firday i will get a call from her that she wants me back and that the 100000 is OK

Or so i hope

Itiswhatitis If you are telling the truth here, you are setting yourself up as the buffalo! This is not the thai way and not the way it is done. This is a scam! Thais never pay sinsod to a bargirl or to a girl who was previously married and/or had a baby. Alive or not. You go along with her demands and be thistime next year you will have considerably less money and a painful memory. Wake up!

[Mickd123]

Hello

I am a 29 year old 'farang' who has found my true love and want to marry her by end of next year...She is 28 years old, lives abroad, has a university degree, comes from Bangkok and works in the airline industry...one thing that is making me worried is the dowry issue....

She is asking for Bht 4,000,000 but then she said that her mother has offered to return half of the amount to me at the wedding....can someone pls tell me if this amount sounds 'normal'?!? Can this amount be negotiated?

If i do agree on paying that amount, what does the bride's family pay/ contribute towards the wedding??

Thanks

[dumball]

Hello

I am a 29 year old 'farang' who has found my true love and want to marry her by end of next year...She is 28 years old, lives abroad, has a university degree, comes from Bangkok and works in the airline industry...one thing that is making me worried is the dowry issue....

She is asking for Bht 4,000,000 but then she said that her mother has offered to return half of the amount to me at the wedding....can someone pls tell me if this amount sounds 'normal'?!? Can this amount be negotiated?

If i do agree on paying that amount, what does the bride's family pay/ contribute towards the wedding??

Thanks

Young man , this 'Demand' would mean you would be paying 2 million Baht for another human being which it totally contrary to international law of human trafficking , white mans culture is that the wifes parents pay for the marriage , tell them you will make a compromise which all marriages should be built on , you will pay for your own wedding , no compromise .

D'max , I would never consider paying any-one anything for a wife , no matter the colour or the culture , marriage is a ceremony in which two people commit themselves to each other for as long as it lasts , to care for each other through thick and thin .

I married off three daughters , two opted for the full monte wedding complete with honey-moon , the third opted for a simple ceremoney and a deposit on a small house . What is so special that one is expected to purchase a Thai from her family for whatever reason and still pay all costs of the wedding ? The genuine sin-sot that is entered into by some Farang whereby the money is only for a show of FACE and is returned is fine if agreed to , I do not care how filthy rich you may be or would like to give the impression you are at that time , goes against principals and respect for your child .

[Beetlejuice]

Hello

I am a 29 year old 'farang' who has found my true love and want to marry her by end of next year...She is 28 years old, lives abroad, has a university degree, comes from Bangkok and works in the airline industry...one thing that is making me worried is the dowry issue....

She is asking for Bht 4,000,000 but then she said that her mother has offered to return half of the amount to me at the wedding....can someone pls tell me if this amount sounds 'normal'?!? Can this amount be negotiated?

If i do agree on paying that amount, what does the bride's family pay/ contribute towards the wedding??

Thanks

This thread is almost a year and a half old.

What is the point of regurgitating it again?

[pete09]

Hello

I am a 29 year old 'farang' who has found my true love and want to marry her by end of next year...She is 28 years old, lives abroad, has a university degree, comes from Bangkok and works in the airline industry...one thing that is making me worried is the dowry issue....

She is asking for Bht 4,000,000 but then she said that her mother has offered to return half of the amount to me at the wedding....can someone pls tell me if this amount sounds 'normal'?!? Can this amount be negotiated?

If i do agree on paying that amount, what does the bride's family pay/ contribute towards the wedding??

Thanks

Mickd123

4000000 is way too much man. I’m a Thai man and I am not going to participate in and perpetuate this 12^th century custom of dowry/bride price thing ever. The woman I’m going to marry has to be independent from their parents and be able to say that we promise to love each other but we are not going to do this dowry thing. We going to do this our own way as a couple. You have to have strong boundary and just stand your ground. If this thing is a deal breaker to the woman I am sorry to hear. Also many farang/thai couples nowadays don’t do the dowry any more. The in-laws might not understand at first but if you prove to them that you can build a good loving family of your own then I think they will understand.

Pete

[sarahsbloke]

I'm a Thai man and I am not going to participate in and perpetuate this 12^th century custom of dowry/bride price thing ever. The woman I'm going to marry has to be independent from their parents and be able to say that we promise to love each other but we are not going to do this dowry thing.

Pete

Bit of cultural confusion in your post there Pete!

Dowry

Western custom, girls parents pay man to take her away.

SinSot

Thai custom, man buys himself a wife

Thai wedding

Man promise to love, woman promise to serve

Best not to change the second promise

Edited August 18, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[jackr]

I didnt pay her money and decided to cut contact and told her so.....and that was it. She did not call anymore nor write me an email, after all we went through.....end of story.

Well done.

Who knows maybe he missed out on the love of his life.

Yes, there is a 0.01% chance that he may have.

She is asking for Bht 4,000,000 but then she said that her mother has offered to return half of the amount to me at the wedding....

Trollish. If not and you do pay a dirty dowry, it's supposed to be all or something like 80% back.

[sarahsbloke]

Hello

I am a 29 year old 'farang' who has found my true love and want to marry her by end of next year...She is 28 years old, lives abroad, has a university degree, comes from Bangkok and works in the airline industry...one thing that is making me worried is the dowry issue....

She is asking for Bht 4,000,000 but then she said that her mother has offered to return half of the amount to me at the wedding....can someone pls tell me if this amount sounds 'normal'?!? Can this amount be negotiated?

At 28 she is a bit old for such a high price, 22 year old virgin, maybe.

4,000,000bht assuming you like the really pretty young girls, 500bht bar fine and 1,500 for the night .....

Works out at 2,000 really pretty girls for a night each, or about 7 years worth of 5 girls a week.

Is she that pretty at 28 years old?

Can you get a guarantee that she will shag you every night for 7 years or your money back?

What if the night after the wedding she says thanks, and clears off?