Inthai Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 (edited) Hello all, Yes, I already did a search on this, however found nothing or nobody which was in a similar situation. We have been together close to 4 years, however I had to return back to Germany last November, as I went nearly broke due to lots of bad investment decisions in 2008 and started a new job this January back home. My GF in meantime continued to work at her company and we had intention to get married by end of 2009. Sin Sod was never discussed until last week where she mentioned that I need to transfer her at least 300'000 baht to her account, otherwise it will not be possible to get married, as her mother is demanding it. She knows that i am just about to rebuild my life and this takes at least one year or longer. She is from a rubber farmer family in south, not poor but like most they just get by, also, educated at Ramkamhaeng Uni, 33, and speaks English fluent. So before wedding, she said, money must be in her account.....or no wedding or we have to postpone it to next year and i could be lucky that i only need to pay 300000 as normally she should get more......is this way it works?? I should know after many years in TH but i am bit surprised still.... Edited March 14, 2009 by Inthai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakeha Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Shouldn't this be posted in the "Sin sod section". Oh that's right... there isn't one Why don't you just say fine and put off the marriage indefinately. It sounds like extortion to me. And it also sounds like it will make it even more difficult for you to get your life back on track financially. I can see how you managed to make a lot of bad investment decisions... Here's your chance to change that pattern and make a good one . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coventry Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 If she loves you, and you don't pay, hopefully she will stick with you. I never paid and my wife stuck with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdman Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 If she loves you, and you don't pay, hopefully she will stick with you. Inthai, that's the way to go....!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fiddlehead Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 If she loves you, and you don't pay, hopefully she will stick with you. I never paid and my wife stuck with me. Same here. She mentioned it once or twice. I told her i couldn't afford it. She said ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john b good Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Show her the door. Her demands are nothing short of extortion and are just the thin edge of the wedge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbiecia Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Inthai..................Don't do it!!!!!!!!! Don't give in to the mothers silly demands You said you need to rebuild................so it can wait!!!!!!!!!!! BTW sinsod should be displayed at the wedding..........not transfered into her mothers account beforehand greed!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fred2007 Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 If she loves you, and you don't pay, hopefully she will stick with you. I never paid and my wife stuck with me. So did I, Yes I paid a small sum but I said I could not afford it so I got the money back and I am still married today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rimmer Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 My wife never mentioned it even once, knew that I would on no account put up with that none sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inthai Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 (edited) Thanks for your replies so far.....yes, it's hard to let go but i am starting to consider it. She also asked for around 100'000 Baht to open a small restaurant in her village for her sister, which has no job right now. She has around 80rai of land near Bangkok, which is used as a rubber plantation (just started to plant last year), but she cannot take care of it because her brother, which was in charge has left back to south, so right now she has to pay back around 500k to bank within 30 years..... i know i am probably naive but she said that i dont need to worry about this land as she will take care of it and sell it later......still it bothers me of course.. Edited March 14, 2009 by Inthai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 If she loves you, and you don't pay, hopefully she will stick with you. I never paid and my wife stuck with me. Interesting......I would bet her family are saying 'if he loves you he'll pay'...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdman Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 make that: tell her, that you come from a very traditional country, in which it is an old custom, that the brides parents are expected to give a brides gift to the groom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumnien Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 It always tastes so much better when you pay for it! What's 300,000 baht anyway? Chump change; let it go! It's not about her; it's about fear. Confront your fear and look into the eye of the tiger! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdman Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 If she loves you, and you don't pay, hopefully she will stick with you. I never paid and my wife stuck with me. Interesting......I would bet her family are saying 'if he loves you he'll pay'...... I would bet, that happened to you, chai mai?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coventry Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 If she loves you, and you don't pay, hopefully she will stick with you. I never paid and my wife stuck with me. Interesting......I would bet her family are saying 'if he loves you he'll pay'...... Good point '473geo'. You have to weigh up your belief's and the families belief's and go for the one that matters the most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakeha Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Thanks for your replies so far.....yes, it's hard to let go but i am starting to consider it. She also asked for around 100'000 Baht to open a small restaurant in her village for her sister, which has no job right now. She has around 80rai of land near Bangkok, which is used as a rubber plantation (just started to plant last year), but she cannot take care of it because her brother, which was in charge has left back to south, so right now she has to pay back around 500k to bank within 30 years..... i know i am probably naive but she said that i dont need to worry about this land as she will take care of it and sell it later......still it bothers me of course.. No offence intended Inthai but alarm bells should be ringing in your head! I'd just tell her you love her but are not in a position to contribute any money at all. If she's not happy with that it's best to let the broken heart mend now. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inthai Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 My wife never mentioned it even once, knew that I would on no account put up with that none sense. Yes, i thought that it will be like this also in our case, but i was wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakeha Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 What's 300,000 baht anyway? Chump change; Jumnien. I will PM you my bank account details now. I will happily call myself a chump if you happily give me your change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
on-on Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 (edited) I had to return back to Germany last November, as I went nearly broke due to lots of bad investment decisions in 2008 Fast forward to 2009... she mentioned that I need to transfer her at least 300'000 baht to her account, otherwise it will not be possible to get married, as her mother is demanding it.... She also asked for around 100'000 Baht to open a small restaurant in her village for her sister, which has no job right now. Sounds like you're about to make lots of bad investment decisions in 2009 as well! I normally don't comment in these threads, but this one's just too ironic not to. Of course you do not give her the money under any circumstances. That's the end of it. Everything else is just dealing with the personal emotional fallout of that correct decision. Edited March 14, 2009 by on-on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumnien Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 What's 300,000 baht anyway? Chump change; Jumnien. I will PM you my bank account details now. I will happily call myself a chump if you happily give me your change. Hey, hey, slow down a bit. I mean, can we get a little romantic first? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vrsushi Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 If you were really in love would you let 7000 Euro stop you? If she were really in love would she let her family stop her? The truth is that many western men love money more than people and Thai women love their family more than their man. I do know that if a pre Mrs Pitt, Angelina Jolie wanted to marry me but insisted that I buy her a 7k engagment ring first..........well consider the ring bought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livinginexile Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Mate, don't do it. That is not the way sin-sot works. The family has seen you hit on hard times and are trying one last ditch attempt to get money out of you. It may not be her fault, Thai family pressure and all, but seriously...if she truely loves you she will protect you from all that crap. If you give in and pay, you are in for a whole world of pain in the future. Don't do it man, you can't buy love. At any price! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inthai Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 Inthai..................Don't do it!!!!!!!!!Don't give in to the mothers silly demands You said you need to rebuild................so it can wait!!!!!!!!!!! BTW sinsod should be displayed at the wedding..........not transfered into her mothers account beforehand greed!!!!!!!!!!! Her mother wants money to be transfered to her daughters (my GF) account before wedding. My GF said, she then will just tell mohter that she got Sinsod and that will be enough...no showing money or any display of it anywhere..... Does it also work like this??? It seems strange But for mother money should be in account so that she can see that I am able to support her daughter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livinginexile Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 If you were really in love would you let 7000 Euro stop you? If she were really in love would she let her family stop her? The truth is that many western men love money more than people and Thai women love their family more than their man. I do know that if a pre Mrs Pitt, Angelina Jolie wanted to marry me but insisted that I buy her a 7k engagment ring first..........well consider the ring bought. Jesus, you can allways pick the ones that paid for there wife can't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiGirlHunter Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 My friend, 2 things, run fast, run far Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coventry Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Inthai..................Don't do it!!!!!!!!!Don't give in to the mothers silly demands You said you need to rebuild................so it can wait!!!!!!!!!!! BTW sinsod should be displayed at the wedding..........not transfered into her mothers account beforehand greed!!!!!!!!!!! Her mother wants money to be transfered to her daughters (my GF) account before wedding. My GF said, she then will just tell mohter that she got Sinsod and that will be enough...no showing money or any display of it anywhere..... Does it also work like this??? It seems strange But for mother money should be in account so that she can see that I am able to support her daughter The money is paid to the family , not the intended. I smell a rat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkfish Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 This is mixed marriage with mixed cultures, so i think you should mix. Try this you pay up the sin sod but the her farther has to pay for the entire wedding. This way you should break about even. See what he says Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiGirlHunter Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I read the OP post to my thai wife her advice "Dont be a buffalo" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coventry Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Try this you pay up the sin sod but the her farther has to pay for the entire wedding. Get the father to pay for the entire wedding and give the 'Sin Sod' after. No chance of getting scammed then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabum Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 NO! It does not work like this, STOP ASKING! You obviously are getting desperate to accept that it is normal so you can justify this in your head and get what you want without accepting the glaringly obvious fact that SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU AND IS TRYING TO SCAM YOU. I would bet a large sum of money that the mother has nothing to do with this, your girlfriend is just making up some bullshit to get 300k out of you, I don't even think she will marry you after, just take your freaking money, there is no other reason to ask for a sudden large sum up front. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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