Does Anyone Have A Thai Male Friend?

[patklang]

Well, I was going to compose a long reply about how I wasn't attacking anyone personally or how Thai men are generally not jealous of you stealing their women and that they probably are not staring daggers at you but rather thinking about how they need to change their engine oil but then thought better of it. I mean, what would be the point? You already have it well cemented in your mind so, think whatever you wish.

On to the friendship among Thais. I asked my husband about this once because he really only has one close Thai friend (not a relative) and they have been friends since childhood. He said that is pretty normal, most Thai people cement the bonds of very close friendships at a young age. He said that it is difficult to create real friendships with adults because most people are the same and they are uninterested in creating new friendships with total strangers. For him the trust factor is a big issue, it is difficult to trust someone you have just met and do not know their history.

So, while passing friendly acquaintances is quite normal, true friendship is difficult and I think the main reason my husband was open to friendships with foreigners (as I said, one of his closest friends is English) is because 1. he has known this man a long time and he has proven he can be trusted and 2. he is more aware of cultural behavior and more open to accepting differences due to his marriage to me.

Another strange comment,who is stealing thai mens women.do they own them or something,is there something am missing.

[patklang]

Definately. I delivered gifts when we moved in, tried to discuss cable TV, building projects, our kids etc. Again, no problem talking to the female neighbors.

A hostile stare is pretty evident when I am walking with my daughter and the neighboring female is smiling at my child and the male is staring like we are from another planet. Maybe he had a hangover?

Again, read my thread, I din't just arrive here.

It was interesting to me once I learned to understand the conversations around me how very very few of them had anything to do with me and how generally unimportant I was in the general scheme of people's lives.

Why do you think that you should be important to them? Is this color or being foreigner, you will be placed above their own race?

As far as staring farangs with any young girl (or boy) makes pretty much sense to some of them and even to some of the foreigners (not just farangs) as well. If you dont know what I mean goto any tourist area and you can see an 80 years old farang guy with a 20 years old thai girl (well age difference may be that much in reality) being so romantically involved. (no offence inteded)

What if a Thai (or any other nationality) person moves to your home country and having a very basic language compatibility with you, will you ever hang around with such guy? I dont think so.

I just dont understand why do we think that we are the center of the universe? (including myself)

now thats going overboard a bit,i have never seen an 80yo guy in walking st on his own never mind with a 20 yo.might be his great grand daughter lol

[sbk]

A comment on women smiling and men throwing eye-daggers at farange men. After I was here a few months, I made the same observation to my wife. She said that Thai women usually prefer farange men because they usually are polite, have a sense of humour, and are willing to spend time with them. The men throw the daggers because you're a threat - they know the women prefer farange...

Well, I was going to compose a long reply about how I wasn't attacking anyone personally or how Thai men are generally not jealous of you stealing their women and that they probably are not staring daggers at you but rather thinking about how they need to change their engine oil but then thought better of it. I mean, what would be the point? You already have it well cemented in your mind so, think whatever you wish.

.

Another strange comment,who is stealing thai mens women.do they own them or something,is there something am missing.

There is something you are missing.

[yabaaaa]

What if a Thai (or any other nationality) person moves to your home country and having a very basic language compatibility with you, will you ever hang around with such guy? I dont think so.

Yes I love helping foreigners when they are in the UK they are so much more interesting for me .

[henryalleman]

I'm talking with everybody, can go on with everybody, socialize with everybody, have fun with everybody,but I have only have a few really close friends, and........... they are all women(Western and Thai).

Sometimes we don't see each other for months and one of them even years, but when we see each other its seems like its was 5 minutes ago since the last time. Because we know that we can depend on each other.

[patklang]

A comment on women smiling and men throwing eye-daggers at farange men. After I was here a few months, I made the same observation to my wife. She said that Thai women usually prefer farange men because they usually are polite, have a sense of humour, and are willing to spend time with them. The men throw the daggers because you're a threat - they know the women prefer farange...

Well, I was going to compose a long reply about how I wasn't attacking anyone personally or how Thai men are generally not jealous of you stealing their women and that they probably are not staring daggers at you but rather thinking about how they need to change their engine oil but then thought better of it. I mean, what would be the point? You already have it well cemented in your mind so, think whatever you wish.

.

Another strange comment,who is stealing thai mens women.do they own them or something,is there something am missing.

There is something you are missing.

not in the slightest.To steal suggests that the thai man owned the woman,but the truth is that many thai women are so fed up with thai men for getting them pregnant then dumping them for something more fresh and many farangs take care of them kids,so dont come on here claiming we are stealing the women,what crap.do farang women steal the thai men off the the thai women,whats the difference other than you might be looking after the baby,but unlikely.

[Sabum]

Definately. I delivered gifts when we moved in, tried to discuss cable TV, building projects, our kids etc. Again, no problem talking to the female neighbors.

A hostile stare is pretty evident when I am walking with my daughter and the neighboring female is smiling at my child and the male is staring like we are from another planet. Maybe he had a hangover?

Again, read my thread, I din't just arrive here.

It was interesting to me once I learned to understand the conversations around me how very very few of them had anything to do with me and how generally unimportant I was in the general scheme of people's lives.

Yes, I did read yours perhaps you should re-read mine. As I said, could be he was just watching you and thinking of something else, or nothing at all. A lack of a smile doesn't indicate hostility in my book.

Lack of a smile isnt hostile? FROM THAI PEOPLE? Sheeeet thats the same as him screaming he wants to kill you! Cmon! This is the land of smiles, they smile about everything, even when they are mad, if someone goes out of their way to NOT smile when you look at them they are definately trying to say something bad to you.

[adjan jb]

I'm afraid my Siamese cat is my only Thai male friend.

[SoiGirlHunter]

I am in Pattaya and generally i feel thai men resent me, by their looks and actions. But i dont consider Pattaya real Thailand, its

a place that attracts alot of unsavory people, thai and farang alike.

I was talking to a thai girl last night, we had a very in-depth conversation about Thailand and i asked her if thai men resented

farang men and she said yes very much so and warned me to be careful around them. I should have pryed more into this at the

time, quite interesting.

Upcountry i think it would be better though. More genuine people.

[adjan jb]

I am in Pattaya ... But i dont consider Pattaya real Thailand, its

a place that attracts alot of unsavory people, thai and farang alike.

Can a Pattaya member who goes by the name of SoiGirlHunter be considered an unsavory character?

Edited March 15, 2009 by adjan jb

[SoiGirlHunter]

55555

Hunting has been good

[CelticBhoy]

I've been here 16 years and have never had a Thai bloke that I would call a 'mate.'

To be honest I've nothing in common with them, and in the early days I tried to make an effort.

They are generally immature, selfish and (if you play golf you'll understand) have no etiquette.

Find one that will admit a mistake and take responsibility for his actions and I'll give you 50 quid.

Ask most long-term ex-pats if they enjoy the company of the Thai blokes here and you can see their face cringe.

[Boo]

not in the slightest.To steal suggests that the thai man owned the woman,but the truth is that many thai women are so fed up with thai men for getting them pregnant then dumping them for something more fresh and many farangs take care of them kids,so dont come on here claiming we are stealing the women,what crap.do farang women steal the thai men off the the thai women,whats the difference other than you might be looking after the baby,but unlikely.

Are you deliberately trying to bait sbk or do you really have such poor comprehension skills.? Either way I suggest you tone it down.

[Scott]

I have a number of Thai male friends and they are kind and helpful.

As a general rule, men don't have a lot of friends, especially as they get older. Most men limit their social circle to people they work with. Women, on the other hand, are very gregarious and they will drag the hubby/boyfriend along who will be forced to be friends with her girl friends' partners. It's the way life is.

There are drinking buddies, golf buddies etc. But over the years, friendships become fewer and fewer. \

It's in the nature of men, I guess.

[Boo]

So unexpected (not) to see some of the stupid generalisations about thai men alive & kicking on this thread, it's even funny. Thankfully there are still posters who can express their opinion without the need to demonise or make derogatory comments about thai men. How refreshing

But let's please try to keep this thread in the realms of reality.

[mrt273nva]

Yes, I have many Thai male friends. It is all about getting into the right circle and then before you know it you wish you had no friends because people won't stop calling you. however I do make a point to set aside 1 day a week for hanging out with my Thai friends.

I genuinely feel sorry for you guys that are saying that you have never had a Thai friend that was male. Maybe you should step away from the computer and go outside.

[bina]

Often the person moving or quitting won't even bother to say goodbyes.

There seems to be hardly any such thing as long time friends staying in touch no matter where they move

i can only give my impressions from thai men living overseas in 'camps' -- foreign labour workers living together in crowded mini thailands around israel. the friendships are based on 1. family connections 2. same muubaan, same amphur same changwat. thats it. all the rest are guys that hang out together, help eachother, drink together, but when back in thailand, may never see each other again. although, they do call each other up when at parties, when drunk, etc.

anon's best friends are three guys from his muubaan all of whom were here in israel working, one of whom is some distant cousin. they were an amazing help when we were in trouble and one became a good friend to me also. we are in telephone contact now with one (back in thailand) although we are the caller as we can afford it. one guy is still here but we go to him, again, he works the 13 hour days 7/ week, and doesnt have time, money or transportation to get to us. due to lack of money and time, the third one cant call (now in dubai or somewhere working ) ...

the few times ive tried to set anon up with thai men married to farang women here, the two men were polite, drank together, discussed music money and whatever, but the connection just didnt stick.

friendships betwen thais are similar to those that israeli guys have: 1. family, 2. from your hometown 3. army and the rest are just 'buddies', networker types, and guys to hang out with. since thais are 'home' oriented, most friends will be from there. israelis are the same. all holidays, weekends etc they are back home at parents' place/hometown.

westerners seem to be more rootless, and therefore, new friendships are important.

as for 'not saying bye': when thais here leave, we have a party/string ceremony for them. thats it. its not a big deal. chances are , when they do meet up again, the conversation picks up where it was left off, so to speak. sometime we get calls in the middle of the night from aquaintance/friends, while drunk...

i've had the same three women friends (one morrocan israeli, one s.african, one american) for the past 25 years, everyone else is in the aquaintence category.

and as someone pointed out, as u get older, u seem to have less need to make new friends (close friends). social aquaitnances are fun but hard work.

as with thai women-- the few i've met i found difficult to make connections with, due to the fear factor. i am from the 'bosses'- and then we have the language barrier, and i dont really know what to talk about with them. sometimes i am shy and so are they, therefore neither side gets to know eachother. also, they are working hard, and are often tired to make the effort... and so am i.

also, there is the age factor. among many thais, same age folks are 'friends', everyone else is in the somewhat different realm of pi/nong, and therefore expectations are different. when anon had financial difficultuies here, he told his best friend, but the older guy (his pi) he refused to let know as he was ashamed and didnt want to put the guy in a position that he would have to help... in the end, i told the one best friend to pass on the word to the older friend, in thai fashion. so that in the end everything was taken care of in an orderly fashion by thai standards.

i think farang men may have different concepts of what 'friendship' as opposed to 'pi/nong' relationships are, among thai males: money issues, appropriateness of what u can discuss with whom: family /wife problems, personal fears...

also, thai are not that introspective, and dont really discuss 'inner feelings' with eachother. they work it out on their own. so they really wont share their intimate feelings with someone not from the same background age, hometown or family. its inappropriate to them.

bina

israel

[Heng]

Family trumps just about any friendship though.

Not if you have them staying with you for three weeks.

Not an issue around here.

[Sabum]

not in the slightest.To steal suggests that the thai man owned the woman,but the truth is that many thai women are so fed up with thai men for getting them pregnant then dumping them for something more fresh and many farangs take care of them kids,so dont come on here claiming we are stealing the women,what crap.do farang women steal the thai men off the the thai women,whats the difference other than you might be looking after the baby,but unlikely.

Patklang... ninny, what the ladies are being to coy to point out and say in straight english is YOU MISREAD SBKS POST AND ARE ENTIRELY WRONG ABOUT WHO POSTED WHAT. Even after they requote the "offending" quotes to show that she didnt say what you say she said you just continue on berating her like she did say it.... pretty retarded of you if you ask me. SHE NEVER SAID FALANGS STEAL THAI WOMEN. Learn to read.

[PeaceBlondie]

One more issue on which I am unqualified to really give an opinion. I have lived here only six years, and almost all of it with one Thai man. Now we have moved to a village that is not his native place, and he is fitting right in because he is a funny and sociable guy. But stupid me, I speak only about 88.7 words of Thai, in the wrong tones. So I only make friends with Thai males who speak angrit.

I agree that most Thai males make their only lifelong friends in their own village during childhood, or early in their working career. Everything else is hierarchy.

[actiondell4]

I think some of you who say you have 50 thai friends etc may have a different definition of the meaning of friend to some.

I would not call anyone at my workplace a friend,despite working with them 5 days a week 8 hours a day.

They are work colleagues ,people that i work with,not people i choose to work with.

I would not call my flatmates friends.

I would say i have one good friend,someone i can rely on if i needed,someone i can trust.

What is a friend? If that friend came knocking on my door at midnight and said he needed somewhere urgently to stay as his house was flooded then i would let him stay.

If a friend called you at say 1am on a weeknight and said can you come out and help them ,there car is broken down then you as a friend would help them.

If my friend(s) called me to urgently assist them i would,because i would expect their help as their friend.

Sure i can say i have 20 friends,but are they really,more like aquantices,people i know,colleagues etc.

Some farangs here chat to the thai guy in 7/11 a couple of times a week and call him a friend.

Personally i am not one who looks for friends,or wants to be liked.

I know at my workplace,there are some people whom im sure go to work because they want friends rather than money.

They are a bit like the OP and get offended when you dont say goodbye at the end of the working day or dont eat your lunch in the mealroom with them.

I actually received a written complaint from one new guy at my workplace who wrote a complaint that i didnt bother to say goodbye to him at the end of my workday and he was upset.

Some people are just that way,they want people to like them,to be their friend etc,but if i was the OP i wouldnt care if the thai men spoke to me or not in the village.

How long do you need to know someone to call them a friend?

I have had many many thai aquantices,and one i started to call a friend after 4 years knowing him,i even went to his wedding etc.

Usually i dont give out my friendship that easy ,but i did on this occassion ,then back in july 2007 ,he was the driver of a ute we rented,he crashed the car and jumped out and left me for dead in the passenger seat,when the police arrived he had fled.

The police knew what had happened and they knew i was deeply distressed and they told me they will get him,and they did.

Now i dont give my friendship out to anyone except the one who i do trust.

[PeaceBlondie]

A friend, a true friend, is best defined as somebody you can call at 1 am to say you just killed somebody and need to bury the corpse. Friend replies, "I'll be there ASAP - should I bring a shovel?"

There appears to be a deliberate attempt in this thread to attack female moderators. Stop it.

[kurnell]

I was actually referring to farang men having Thai friends. I think that Thai men are intimidated by farang men.

On one occasion when I was out with a group of my mates at the Robin Hood, the Thai wives and girlfriends were sitting at a table together and started chatting to a group of Thai guys at the table next to them. After 20 minutes or so, the Thai guys left and the girls came over and told us that these Thai boys told them that they should rip us all off for as much as they possibly could and send us packing back home. I was astounded. The girls ahd told these Thai boys to piss off as they have no idea what they are talking about. Non of the girls were from bars and definately didn't have a bar girl look so I really had no idea why these blokes had this sort of attitude.

[Travel2003]

The vast majority of my friends here are Thai males.

A few colleagues, whom are not Thai live here, but I dont like to hang out with too many colleagues, since it is too easy to start talking about work then. Hate talking about work when Im off.

99% of the times I go out, I go out with Thais.

Some of them have been close friends for almost 10 years.

Several of the members here have talked about the looks (evil eye) they get from Thai males.

In my humble oppinion, I think in most of the cases it is just a missunderstanding.

[LaLa]

I think that Thai men are intimidated by farang men.

sure. If it help you get through ur day keep that thinking.

About them boy in bar, is just one group of boy but you think all thai man think that way too. Small idea

Edited March 15, 2009 by LaLa

[LaLa]

Several of the members here have talked about the looks (evil eye) they get from Thai males.

In my humble oppinion, I think in most of the cases it is just a missunderstanding.

or cuold be because that thai man got bad vibe from farang man. if the idea that they put here is what they act like toward thai men in real life i wuold look not nice at them too.

[brahmburgers]

As was mentioned earlier, much rests on one's definition of 'friend.'

A friend is someone you might ask to go along on a long drive - for the conversations/companionship - over other reasons. I took a long drive with a Thai guy once, had a good time. He has since passed away from a mysterious illness, but that doesn't relate to the topic at hand.

A friend is someone you can feel at ease with - enough to be completely yourself, even silly, and free enough to share your private thoughts, doubts, fears, hopes, dreams with. I've known a few Asian men over the years who I've been completely relaxed with. However, when I look closely, they're not fully Thai, but rather they're hill tribe or Laotian, Rastafarian or Burmese. So I guess my straightest answer to the OP's question is "no", if we're talking about true Thais.

[ballpoint]

A friend, a true friend, is best defined as somebody you can call at 1 am to say you just killed somebody and need to bury the corpse. Friend replies, "I'll be there ASAP - should I bring a shovel?"

There appears to be a deliberate attempt in this thread to attack female moderators. Stop it.

A friend will come down the police station to bail you out at 1 am. A true friend will be sitting beside you in the cell saying "dam_n, we sure screwed up!"

[klikster]

I've lived and worked in Thailand for 14 years, am married to a Thai, have 2 kids meet many Thai males through work and socially but have never had a friendship with a Thai male. I have or have had friends from Australia, England, France, New Zealand, USA, Sweden, India, Germany, Philippines, Singapore, Canada, West Indies, Chile, Italy, Greece, China, Equador, Poland, Fiji, Japan, Norway, Russia, Serbia, South Africa, Ireland, Wales, Scotland, Zimbabwe etc and probably more. In addition I don't think that any of my expat friends have Thai male friends either. The closest I have to a Thai friend is a half English bloke, who is very Thai but we haven't so much as had a beer in 10 years. If I meet Thai blokes I find that I don't have anything in common at all.

I bought a house in a mooban that is 97% Thai and while I have friendships with the Thai women, I do not get along with the males at all. In fact, when I go for a walk I get smiles etc. from the women and hostile suspicious stares from the men. I don't have parties, play loud music, my place is tidy and I am respectful to neighbors.

In conclusion, I can only assume that I am committing some major cultural no-no or that Thai men are almost an entirely different species to every other race on earth.

I am sure that some of the TV members have Thai male friends, but I bet that most don't.

Most of the Thai women friends I have are wives of my Thai male friends. Actually, I have more Thai friends (mostly men) than I have farang friends.

[klikster]

Lack of a smile isnt hostile? FROM THAI PEOPLE? Sheeeet thats the same as him screaming he wants to kill you! Cmon! This is the land of smiles, they smile about everything, even when they are mad,

That's a pretty superficial comment. One thing I noticed living down south of PKK is that the people do NOT walk around with perpetual smiles .. but when they smile, they mean it.

Actually, the biggest smiles I got came when the fishermen listened to my fractured Thai. The kids didn't bother being polite. They just laughed outright.

One little guy followed me all over Panare Beach (Pattani) talking to me. Every time I answered him he would almost fall over in fits of laughter.

if someone goes out of their way to NOT smile when you look at them they are definately trying to say something bad to you.

Horse hockey!