Customs And Traditions On Thai And Falang Wedding

[riceman09]

I will be very gratefull if anyone can give me and insight about thai traditions and customs when it comes to marriage between falang male and thai woman( I'm talking about the rural areas). I don't know much about it but I'm sure that many of you outhere do.

The more informations, the better.

Thank you all

[Mario2008]

The traditional wedding is not a legal wedding and has no legal status. However, most Thai think it is more important then the legal wedding. (regestering the marriage at the amphur).

The wedding consists of several parts:

1. early in the morning the monks will come and visit and bless the couple

2. the wedding, where you tie the knot and the guests will poor water over your hands. It is more to show to everyone you now live together and both your families agree. Did you discuss the sin-sod already. Here it is paid.

3. party.

Most times you will go and look for the dress and suit together and make a photo shoot. On the day of the wedding you show the photo's and wear the (rented) suit and dress.

[coventry]

The traditional wedding is not a legal wedding and has no legal status. However, most Thai think it is more important then the legal wedding. (regestering the marriage at the amphur).

The wedding consists of several parts:

1. early in the morning the monks will come and visit and bless the couple

2. the wedding, where you tie the knot and the guests will poor water over your hands. It is more to show to everyone you now live together and both your families agree. Did you discuss the sin-sod already. Here it is paid.

3. party.

Most times you will go and look for the dress and suit together and make a photo shoot. On the day of the wedding you show the photo's and wear the (rented) suit and dress.

Sorry Mario2008 to critisise but that should say 'The wedding usually consists of several parts'.

A young woman got married nearby today.

1. No monks attended. They don't always attend.

2. No water was poured over the hands of the couple. Apparently it's only done by people that can afford the extra cost.

3. Always a party. Finished in 2 hours.

The brides family, although unhappy, accepted a sum of 20,000 Baht, Sin Sot, and one cow. No gold was shown or given.

Tradition is where you live. Different areas, different practices. You get what you can afford.

[BygonKeaw]

A thai/farang wedding?? doesnt exist does it?what from what i read on here everyone seems to marry the thai way!

Just marry her in your homeland the farang way!

Just think it'll save all you guys lots of money that must have been conned out of through that over charged farang sinsod!

Just remember if you have paid over 40,000 baht u have been conned especially if u paid it to a poor rural family or especially a lady who has already been married with a child but that usually goes with marrying a rural girl anyway!

Edited March 19, 2009 by BygonKeaw

[Mario2008]

That's right Crossy. Local traditions do vary, as do the financiel circumstances.

[riceman09]

The traditional wedding is not a legal wedding and has no legal status. However, most Thai think it is more important then the legal wedding. (regestering the marriage at the amphur).

The wedding consists of several parts:

1. early in the morning the monks will come and visit and bless the couple

2. the wedding, where you tie the knot and the guests will poor water over your hands. It is more to show to everyone you now live together and both your families agree. Did you discuss the sin-sod already. Here it is paid.

3. party.

Most times you will go and look for the dress and suit together and make a photo shoot. On the day of the wedding you show the photo's and wear the (rented) suit and dress.

What is the sin-sod??

by the way, thank you all for very quick reply.

[fred2007]

The traditional wedding is not a legal wedding and has no legal status. However, most Thai think it is more important then the legal wedding. (regestering the marriage at the amphur).

The wedding consists of several parts:

1. early in the morning the monks will come and visit and bless the couple

2. the wedding, where you tie the knot and the guests will poor water over your hands. It is more to show to everyone you now live together and both your families agree. Did you discuss the sin-sod already. Here it is paid.

3. party.

Most times you will go and look for the dress and suit together and make a photo shoot. On the day of the wedding you show the photo's and wear the (rented) suit and dress.

Sorry Mario2008 to critisise but that should say 'The wedding usually consists of several parts'.

A young woman got married nearby today.

1. No monks attended. They don't always attend.

2. No water was poured over the hands of the couple. Apparently it's only done by people that can afford the extra cost.

3. Always a party. Finished in 2 hours.

The brides family, although unhappy, accepted a sum of 20,000 Baht, Sin Sot, and one cow. No gold was shown or given.

Tradition is where you live. Different areas, different practices. You get what you can afford.

I was going to give you my response But I guess I would waste my time.

[riceman09]

The traditional wedding is not a legal wedding and has no legal status. However, most Thai think it is more important then the legal wedding. (regestering the marriage at the amphur).

The wedding consists of several parts:

1. early in the morning the monks will come and visit and bless the couple

2. the wedding, where you tie the knot and the guests will poor water over your hands. It is more to show to everyone you now live together and both your families agree. Did you discuss the sin-sod already. Here it is paid.

3. party.

Most times you will go and look for the dress and suit together and make a photo shoot. On the day of the wedding you show the photo's and wear the (rented) suit and dress.

Sorry Mario2008 to critisise but that should say 'The wedding usually consists of several parts'.

A young woman got married nearby today.

1. No monks attended. They don't always attend.

2. No water was poured over the hands of the couple. Apparently it's only done by people that can afford the extra cost.

3. Always a party. Finished in 2 hours.

The brides family, although unhappy, accepted a sum of 20,000 Baht, Sin Sot, and one cow. No gold was shown or given.

Tradition is where you live. Different areas, different practices. You get what you can afford.

I was going to give you my response But I guess I would waste my time.

Don't worry! Please give your response: it's very much appreciated.

Thank you again

[Mario2008]

What is the sin-sod??

by the way, thank you all for very quick reply.

The bridal treasure, the money the groom pays to the parrents of the bride. It is still a tradition in Thailand.

[coventry]

Just marry her in your homeland the farang way!

Big mistake. You come under UK marriage laws when it comes to divorce. Get married in Thailand. If it comes to a divorce, both parties just go to the Amphur, return both wedding certificates, and walk out single people. All done and dusted in an hour.

[Chaimai]

I was going to give you my response But I guess I would waste my time.

Fred, your reply was a waste of time

Anything constructive to add ?

From what I have seen it is up to the couple and the girl's family to agree the arrangements. Family expectations can vary wildy and the Falang should not pay, or do, anything he is not comfortable with.

[coventry]

What is the sin-sod??

It's a dowery paid to the family of the woman you intend to marry. The final sum is based on whatever they can squeeze out of you. In my opinion 'pay nothing'. It's an outdated practice that is kept alive by people living in the past. In my opinion.

I'm married. A Sin Sot was expected. I didn't pay. I still get on fine with the wife's family. All's normal.

Edited March 19, 2009 by coventry

[Birdman]

If you say, that you will marry a Thai the rural way and you know nothing about that, even not about a sinsod, which is explained and discussed countless times everywhere , it means, that you

A) are completely lost about Thai ways and should stay in Thailand for quiet a time pre marriage

or

you have some kind of an inferiority complex which is satisfied by acknowledging that others are responding to you.

In either ways good luck!

[fred2007]

I was going to give you my response But I guess I would waste my time.

Fred, your reply was a waste of time

Anything constructive to add ?

From what I have seen it is up to the couple and the girl's family to agree the arrangements. Family expectations can vary wildy and the Falang should not pay, or do, anything he is not comfortable with.

sorry for my hasty response but in my opinion when some one get's married I always believed they love each other I do not believe paying any money to any body( or even give away a cow) where on earth

do we live? Zimbabwee,Uganda? Tell me in how many countries do you have to pay to marry the one you love?

[BygonKeaw]

Just marry her in your homeland the farang way!

Big mistake. You come under UK marriage laws when it comes to divorce. Get married in Thailand. If it comes to a divorce, both parties just go to the Amphur, return both wedding certificates, and walk out single people. All done and dusted in an hour.

Ok if your gonna go down this route and marry in thailand just because your scared your missus will get half of your posessions just bare in mind in thaiand everything is your wifes!

Just remember 90% of farangs marriages in thailand start on a over inflated transactions. That should make u suspicious straight away.

[coventry]

If you say, that you will marry a Thai the rural way and you know nothing about that, even not about a sinsod, which is explained and discussed countless times everywhere , it means, that you

A) are completely lost about Thai ways and should stay in Thailand for quiet a time pre marriage

or

you have some kind of an inferiority complex which is satisfied by acknowledging that others are responding to you.

In either ways good luck!

I agree Birdman. I think the OP is 'a little wet behind the ears'. Don't take that wrong 'riceman09'. Forget this forum, you'll only get ridiculed. Try and find an 'Old Head' that knows about these things and listen. Good luck.

[BygonKeaw]

Just out of interest how much have u guys paided sinsod?? just so the OP gets a idea and not scammed i guess!

Also i wouldnt mind finding out to.

[Frawley]

What is the sin-sod??

It's a dowery paid to the family of the woman you intend to marry. The final sum is based on whatever they can squeeze out of you. In my opinion 'pay nothing'. It's an outdated practice that is kept alive by people living in the past. In my opinion.

I'm married. A Sin Sot was expected. I didn't pay. I still get on fine with the wife's family. All's normal.

I'm married 7+yrs now and didn't pay sinsod, either. In my situation, however, none was sought to begin with. My paw-in-law's attitude was that his daughter was not for sale. I was welcomed to join the family, though. I'm sure my own paw-in-law isn't the only Thai father who finds the practice outdated and offensive.

Regards,

- John Frawley

[fred2007]

Just marry her in your homeland the farang way!

Big mistake. You come under UK marriage laws when it comes to divorce. Get married in Thailand. If it comes to a divorce, both parties just go to the Amphur, return both wedding certificates, and walk out single people. All done and dusted in an hour.

Ok if your gonna go down this route and marry in thailand just because your scared your missus will get half of your posessions just bare in mind in thaiand everything is your wifes!

Just remember 90% of farangs marriages in thailand start on a over inflated transactions. That should make u suspicious straight away.

I guess you have a point but I got married in OZ and I don't have any income form that country

[coventry]

just bare in mind in thaiand everything is your wifes!

Only if you allow it to be. The Yellow book allows you to have the house and car in your name. The land, just lease it in your name. Nothing has to be in the wifes name.

[BygonKeaw]

What is the sin-sod??

It's a dowery paid to the family of the woman you intend to marry. The final sum is based on whatever they can squeeze out of you. In my opinion 'pay nothing'. It's an outdated practice that is kept alive by people living in the past. In my opinion.

I'm married. A Sin Sot was expected. I didn't pay. I still get on fine with the wife's family. All's normal.

I'm married 7+yrs now and didn't pay sinsod, either. In my situation, however, none was sought to begin with. My paw-in-law's attitude was that his daughter was not for sale. I was welcomed to join the family, though. I'm sure my own paw-in-law isn't the only Thai father who finds the practice outdated and offensive.

Regards,

- John Frawley

Yes i agree.

I can understand a thaiman paying a thai bride sinsod as it is part of there tradition but a farang??? I know plently of thai ladies that come from middle class back grounds and they tell me a farang SHOULDNT pay sinsod. I think its only the poorer families that try to make the farang pay to which u can understand i guess but its not the right way its just a way of syphoning money out of the uneducated farang. Hmmmm sorry if thats not a good answer for guys who have paid it but that is the way it is!

[BygonKeaw]

just bare in mind in thaiand everything is your wifes!

Only if you allow it to be. The Yellow book allows you to have the house and car in your name. The land, just lease it in your name. Nothing has to be in the wifes name.

You can own the house??? get real mate, yes u can have your name in the book but u have no rights my freind! oh dear i hope u knew that!

[coventry]

Bygonkeaw the reason why farang pay Sin Sot is because of their willingness to conform. A similar thing to 'Stockholm Syndrome". Google it.

A similar situation is when farangs start Wai-ing other farang. What the fcuks that all about ? It's not our way, we shake hands. On top of that, there is a method of 'when and how' to Wai. Farangs in their willingness to conform/blend in, lower themselves into be laughed at by Thais due to the farang ignorance in educating themselves properly.

I'm sure if I get Waied by another farang he's going to get a kick in the <deleted>.

[coventry]

You can own the house??? get real mate, yes u can have your name in the book but u have no rights my freind! oh dear i hope u knew that!

Yes a farang can own a house legally in Thailand. A English guy, near to where I live, bulldozed his house after splitting with his wife. Police took no action because he had the house in his name. Sorry to disappoint you BygonKeow, you're wrong in your assumptions. And by having you name in the book you do own something in Thailand. Contrary to your statement that everything has to be in the wifes name. Edited March 19, 2009 by coventry

[G54]

No 2 weddings the same. Here are two descriptions of ones I attended both out in the sticks - in brief.

1 The wedding clothes were the first. Dress for her. Suit for him.

2 Photo shoot. The photo of choice being used in a frame at the reception.

3 Morning of the Wedding. AA visit to the Temple by bride and groom with mother / father / very close friends in attendance.

4 A small party at the brides house for close family. Here the sin sot was handed over. Strings tied on wrists by family and friends. Followed by a few hours break.

5 Visit to the groom's house with a small ceremony of laying on the bed by Bride's parents. Flower petals strewn about. No monks.

6 Evening reception at the hotel with Bride and Groom at the entrance (with photo framed on a pedestal). Envelopes handed to Bride. Food, music, dancing, photos and then off to bed.

Different scenario

At the house of the Groom family and friends gather. Gifts and plates of food and other items are all sorted, laid out and generally readied. Party atmosphere with drinks, meet & greet of people by the groom .

When all was ready, word was given and a procession began from the house of the Groom. A band played up front. People following all bore gifts.

Much merriment in the procession.

The procession was stopped by a barrier on the road to the Bride's house. A challenge was made by a female member of the Bride's family. Challenge met by Groom family member.

The challenge was weird. The ladd help a bucket. The man a Banana plant. He had to inssrt the base of the plant in the bucket in a sort of medieval joust and the lady tried to avoid it. Much merriment and cheering.

After 10 minutes or so the lady allowed the entry of the banana plant into the bucket. The procession was allowed to pass and the gifts were accepted by the lady and her family.

Monks and chanting inside the house to bless the union.

Then outside at a table sat Bride and Groom. Bands were tied, envelopes handed over, more photos taken and then the party began.

[coventry]

No 2 weddings the same. Here are two descriptions of ones I attended both out in the sticks - in brief.

1 The wedding clothes were the first. Dress for her. Suit for him.

2 Photo shoot. The photo of choice being used in a frame at the reception.

3 Morning of the Wedding. AA visit to the Temple by bride and groom with mother / father / very close friends in attendance.

4 A small party at the brides house for close family. Here the sin sot was handed over. Strings tied on wrists by family and friends. Followed by a few hours break.

5 Visit to the groom's house with a small ceremony of laying on the bed by Bride's parents. Flower petals strewn about. No monks.

6 Evening reception at the hotel with Bride and Groom at the entrance (with photo framed on a pedestal). Envelopes handed to Bride. Food, music, dancing, photos and then off to bed.

Different scenario

At the house of the Groom family and friends gather. Gifts and plates of food and other items are all sorted, laid out and generally readied. Party atmosphere with drinks, meet & greet of people by the groom .

When all was ready, word was given and a procession began from the house of the Groom. A band played up front. People following all bore gifts.

Much merriment in the procession.

The procession was stopped by a barrier on the road to the Bride's house. A challenge was made by a female member of the Bride's family. Challenge met by Groom family member.

The challenge was weird. The ladd help a bucket. The man a Banana plant. He had to inssrt the base of the plant in the bucket in a sort of medieval joust and the lady tried to avoid it. Much merriment and cheering.

After 10 minutes or so the lady allowed the entry of the banana plant into the bucket. The procession was allowed to pass and the gifts were accepted by the lady and her family.

Monks and chanting inside the house to bless the union.

Then outside at a table sat Bride and Groom. Bands were tied, envelopes handed over, more photos taken and then the party began.

People aint so rich where I live

[BygonKeaw]

You can own the house??? get real mate, yes u can have your name in the book but u have no rights my freind! oh dear i hope u knew that!

Yes a farang can own a house legally in Thailand. A English guy, near to where I live, bulldozed his house after splitting with his wife. Police took no action because he had the house in his name. Sorry to disappoint you BygonKeow, you're wrong in your assumptions. And by having you name in the book you do own something in Thailand. Contrary to your statement that everything has to be in the wifes name.

reason for edit...............

Ok yes your right coventry a farang can have a house in his name but not own the land. I forgot sorry.

I think its a 30 year renewable lease on the house also unless the law has changed.

my apoligies

Edited March 19, 2009 by BygonKeaw

[worldfun]

sorry to rain on your parade, but 'sin sod/dowry' is still very much alive all across Thai society be it with & without Farangs involved & from 10k to millions of baht + gold, cars, houses etc.

sure often it's just for 'show' & may be returned to the groom immediately or to the 'couple' as opposed to being kept by the brides parents...

live & let live & try to get out a bit more from your narrow minded little worlds or keep your traps shut - LOL - 555 - just kidding guys

cheers!

[highlander76]

Op should discuss the sin sod as soon as he can ,he might get a nasty shock

The op should discuss the sin sod as soon as he can ,he might get a bad shock at how much the girls family want and if he and has wife get the money returned them .I got married last year I warned my wife if her family wanted a large sin sod I would not get married my wife talked to her family and it was agreed I would pay 20000baht to her mother and there would be no party my wife did want a party she did not want me to waste money

[henryalleman]

You can own the house??? get real mate, yes u can have your name in the book but u have no rights my freind! oh dear i hope u knew that!

Yes a farang can own a house legally in Thailand. A English guy, near to where I live, bulldozed his house after splitting with his wife. Police took no action because he had the house in his name. Sorry to disappoint you BygonKeow, you're wrong in your assumptions. And by having you name in the book you do own something in Thailand. Contrary to your statement that everything has to be in the wifes name.

Yes indeed you can own the house, but neveroqn the land where its build on.