A female i know has developed what she describes as a strong sisterlike relationship with a younger female. For the last month or so they are sleeping together and hanging out together on more or less a daily basis, 24/7.

They are not sleeping together for economic reasons but for intimacy. But I don't understand what level of intimacy.

I said to her "are you lesbian" she says "absolutely not". "Just close friends". "This is Thai culture"

Its great if two people can develop a warm and close and loving friendship, non sexual or sexual.

In farang land I think many would just assume that something is going on under the sheets.

what do you think? it is more than "just close friends" ?

or, do you hear this type of thing going on often in Thailand, because this is the first I heard of it (I mean constant non-lesbian sleepovers not one off things).

Edited March 25, 200917 yr by mc2

something going on between the sheets imo.

A female i know has developed what she describes as a strong sisterlike relationship with a younger female. For the last month or so they are sleeping together and hanging out together on more or less a daily basis, 24/7.

They are not sleeping together for economic reasons but for intimacy. But I don't understand what level of intimacy.

I said to her "are you lesbian" she says "absolutely not". "Just close friends". "This is Thai culture"

Its great if two people can develop a warm and close and loving friendship, non sexual or sexual.

In farang land I think many would just assume that something is going on under the sheets.

what do you think? it is more than "just close friends" ?

or, do you hear this type of thing going on often in Thailand, because this is the first I heard of it (I mean constant non-lesbian sleepovers not one off things).

If she is just a woman that you know, then why is it any of your business what she does anyway?

As for your "farang land" comment, i personally disagree. I went to a boarding school and regularly my friends and I would share a bed, often because we would like talking together till we fell asleep. Sometimes we took turns to stroke each others backs and hugged each other while we slept. There was NOTHING sexual in our behaviour. Just very close friends. If I had a strong female friendship today, i wouldnt think anything of sharing a bed with her. Its nice to have someone to feel close to and share conversations with, without any sexual connotation. Something i guess many men just do not understand.

I suggest get your mind out of the gutter, and your nose out of other peoples business. She already told you its platonic. But regardless, whatever she is or isnt doing with her friend, is really only her and her friends affair.

A female i know has developed what she describes as a strong sisterlike relationship with a younger female. For the last month or so they are sleeping together and hanging out together on more or less a daily basis, 24/7.

They are not sleeping together for economic reasons but for intimacy. But I don't understand what level of intimacy.

I said to her "are you lesbian" she says "absolutely not". "Just close friends". "This is Thai culture"

Its great if two people can develop a warm and close and loving friendship, non sexual or sexual.

In farang land I think many would just assume that something is going on under the sheets.

what do you think? it is more than "just close friends" ?

or, do you hear this type of thing going on often in Thailand, because this is the first I heard of it (I mean constant non-lesbian sleepovers not one off things).

If she is just a woman that you know, then why is it any of your business what she does anyway?

As for your "farang land" comment, i personally disagree. I went to a boarding school and regularly my friends and I would share a bed, often because we would like talking together till we fell asleep. Sometimes we took turns to stroke each others backs and hugged each other while we slept. There was NOTHING sexual in our behaviour. Just very close friends. If I had a strong female friendship today, i wouldnt think anything of sharing a bed with her. Its nice to have someone to feel close to and share conversations with, without any sexual connotation. Something i guess many men just do not understand.

I suggest get your mind out of the gutter, and your nose out of other peoples business. She already told you its platonic. But regardless, whatever she is or isnt doing with her friend, is really only her and her friends affair.

I totally agree with all you say eek. When i go away working my missus has her friend stay with her. Why because she hates being alone and her friends boyfriend works away as well. No big deal.

They are just good friends that grew up together.

Cheers, Rick

your right of course,men dont understand,cos men dont usually share a bed,stroke each other,hug each other unless its sexual,i stand corrected.

very nice to see women can do this without sexual connotations.

Amazingly enough, sbc, men and women think, behave and react differently. Which is perhaps why mc2 asked women what they thought since he didn't have a clue. Or rather, he thought he might have a clue but was aware enough to realize that perhaps he didn't have a clue

Amazingly enough, sbc, men and women think, behave and react differently. Which is perhaps why mc2 asked women what they thought since he didn't have a clue. Or rather, he thought he might have a clue but was aware enough to realize that perhaps he didn't have a clue

quite right sbk,i should have kept my nose out,i forgot it was aquestion for the ladies,silly me

Its nice to have someone to feel close to and share conversations with, without any sexual connotation. Something i guess many men just do not understand.

I suggest get your mind out of the gutter, and your nose out of other peoples business. She already told you its platonic. But regardless, whatever she is or isnt doing with her friend, is really only her and her friends affair.

...sorry, that last part was a bit harsh.

No worries, just don't be surprised if the women's answers are far different than your own

It is indeed normal in Thai culture for women (and for that matter, men) to share a bed with no sexual connotation whatsoever.

I remember once walking into the staff break area where I worked and seeing2 of the two male staff - who I knew verym, very well and most definitely were not gay -- curled up asleep in each others arms, one with his hand on the other's thighs. Nobody but me even noticed.

And I remember a group pai-tio in which I was the only farang, we stayed one night in a hotel one of the people in the group's family owned. Split up male and female but all 5 females piled into one room with just 2 beds (there was a whole floor of vacant rooms). Not a comfortable night for me but absolutely normal for them.

The sleep over would be normal at any age. The 24/7 aspect is quite normal/common among young women, maybe a little less so as they age but that's also because they usually marry and have other responsibilities.

And the fashion these days, at least in the cities, is for lesbians to be pretty open about it.

So my guess is that it is exactly as she says.

Amazingly enough, sbc, men and women think, behave and react differently. Which is perhaps why mc2 asked women what they thought since he didn't have a clue. Or rather, he thought he might have a clue but was aware enough to realize that perhaps he didn't have a clue

spot on

and also to filter out the riff raff from the general forum.

Its nice to have someone to feel close to and share conversations with, without any sexual connotation. Something i guess many men just do not understand.

I suggest get your mind out of the gutter, and your nose out of other peoples business. She already told you its platonic. But regardless, whatever she is or isnt doing with her friend, is really only her and her friends affair.

...sorry, that last part was a bit harsh.

no problem eek.

yes it was a personal question to ask but I just though about the opportunity of teasing her, not asking to be nosy.

you do make a good point though.

Edited March 25, 200917 yr by mc2

the thai men i've seen here on the varous moshavim quite openly seek warmth and comfort and will often sleep in the same bed; often because there are too many guys and not enough beds but they dont mind; they sleep together and dont make a big deal of it; also will lay on couch watching sports or something two or three guys laying or leaning in to eachother; anon when slightly drunk becomes very physical with close men friends and will put hand on friends thigh; or guy will grab his hand and hold it while talking-- usually when talking about home, or something important. who ever says thais arent demonstrative havent been with groups of close male friends -- maybe more bannork and less city. u will not see male/female touching/handling of this sort. i find it very sweet to watch thai men when drunk or upset get taken care of , patted, hugged, held or put to sleep in bed or on a sofa by their male friends. someone here in israel once pointed out that if it was westerners (israeli males will often show same behaviors depending on ethnic backgrounds), they would just leave the guy drowning in his own tears/vomit whatever.

watch israeli girls together and u will see, even my 15 yr old, all her friends sleep with each other, go to the bathroom and shower together; stroke each other on the back, or play with each others hair-- social grooming ) . also grown women here do that.

bina

israel

Heartfully agree with 'eek', 'sheryl', and 'bina'.

Having spent 12 years in all girl boarding school in BKK, I can voice what the ladies had commented on the Thais (male or female) are so true.

As for me, growing up, we used to walk around holding hands or wrap our arms around each other, absolutely nothing sexual behavior, jus the feeling of closeness as you would have with your siblings.

Fast forward, now married and a mother, living in the USA.

It still feel a little sad even now whenever I think about the time when my (16 y/o) daughter pull me away from her while walking in the mall in Miami. This was exactly what she said...." I'm a big girl now, so no need to hold my hand". I knew what she meant, she was afraid someone might get the wrong idea we are a couple of lesbians.

Now when I come back to BKK, usally we girls would take a weekend trip to the seaside, staying in a condo, a dozen of us would pile up sleeping next to each other. It is very normal for us.

You may say I live in two different (culture) worlds. When in Rome do as Romans do.

the thai men i've seen here on the varous moshavim quite openly seek warmth and comfort and will often sleep in the same bed; often because there are too many guys and not enough beds but they dont mind; they sleep together and dont make a big deal of it; also will lay on couch watching sports or something two or three guys laying or leaning in to eachother; anon when slightly drunk becomes very physical with close men friends and will put hand on friends thigh; or guy will grab his hand and hold it while talking-- usually when talking about home, or something important. who ever says thais arent demonstrative havent been with groups of close male friends -- maybe more bannork and less city. u will not see male/female touching/handling of this sort. i find it very sweet to watch thai men when drunk or upset get taken care of , patted, hugged, held or put to sleep in bed or on a sofa by their male friends. someone here in israel once pointed out that if it was westerners (israeli males will often show same behaviors depending on ethnic backgrounds), they would just leave the guy drowning in his own tears/vomit whatever.

watch israeli girls together and u will see, even my 15 yr old, all her friends sleep with each other, go to the bathroom and shower together; stroke each other on the back, or play with each others hair-- social grooming ) . also grown women here do that.

bina

israel

I'm gay and have a Thai BF. I've slept in the same bed as him and his 3 brothers. There was nothing at all sexual about it and everything friendly and communal about it. It's nice to be human, close and warm without ulterior motives, no?

deleted, question answered

Edited March 26, 200917 yr by t.s

I've often been "piggy in the middle" with female and male friends. Nothing sexual just nice to feel a breathing warm person next to me. Plus cats, and on occasion a dog. And the first one up puts the kettle on...

Waaaaaa? I could not count the amount of times I have shared a bed with a girl friend ... and I am western. It is a far more common thing in LOS....my old work colleagues couldn't believe that I would choose to live on my own. They were supplied two houses by the school, but chose to only use one so everyone could sleep together! I think you are reading waaaaay too much into this!

Oh god all this talk of women sharing beds and snuggling and cuddling ooooooooh...

Oh god all this talk of women sharing beds and snuggling and cuddling ooooooooh...

And that, right there, shows the difference between men and women.

I come from the middle east, lived in the UK most of my life, done a lot of travelling, living in Turkey for 3 years and now in Thailand

When in Turkey the reactions of a lot of sadly english guys to two turkish guys hugging was funny, because the automatic assumption is that they are gay. As bina pointed out that this sort of behaviour is pretty common in Israeli and Middle Eastern culture is not to disimilar :-)

I have had many thai male family members hug/kiss be, touch my thigh, back etc and not raised an issue. I have seen my wife's two sisters have sleepers, go on sleep overs.

After most of my life spent in the UK since I was 3, I still am amazed at the culture differences and mindset.

I just like to feel cozy and without that touchy shit that goes on. My male friends who sleep in my bed know the score - any funny business - kicked out and it is a hard parquet floor.

Me and my friend xxxx went out on a girly night once and got a bit carried away here in Geneva (yes, it does have it's moments) and we got a taxi home and continued on the the karaoke. Well, my boyfriend at the time; propped us up in bed and brought us cups of tea and coffee while we wer propped up and chatting away and then afterwards told me that we just melted and curled up like kittens. And we got up a few hours later and started all over again.

But i can imagine two guys curling up together would bring on some eyebrow wiggling...

Edited March 30, 200917 yr by Patsycat

Though initially for economic necessity, many of the girls who have worked for me sleep together, essentially to reduce the rent. However, if say you have a starting point of 3 rooms with 3 girls in each and then 2 girls from each room will be staying out, it is totally normal for the remaining 3 girls to share the same bed, even though we guys and perhaps most westerners, would think that they would enjoy the luxury of sleeping alone.

I just like to feel cozy and without that touchy shit that goes on. My male friends who sleep in my bed know the score - any funny business - kicked out and it is a hard parquet floor.

Lol, horrible HORRIBLE flashbacks of Canada going through my mind where women think its ok and normal for men to sleep in their bed providing comfort with no sex.... AGHHHHHHHH.... it's ok...it's ok... I'll be fine.... just let me get my medication...... I'll be fine, doctor says these panic attacks pass if I just relax.....gimme a minute.....