You Are Invited To Take Advantage Of The Chambermaid

[alexth]

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were

discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an

'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.

In a Tokyo Hotel:

Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a

person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin

should enter more persons, each one should press a number of

wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by

national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the

hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the

chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox

monastery:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and

Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except

Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:

Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the

boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon

having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:

Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no

miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:

Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn:

Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed

as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:

Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to

it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.