My Thai Wife Wants A Divorce

[brianinbangkok]

Sound to me the girl is home sick or found somebody else online and wants to be free.

When ladies suddenly decide they want a divorce usually they already build their new nest and the next guy is already waiting for them.

So she comes up with the you are cheating story as an excuse to leave you and wants to divorce in hurry.

Cut your losses and let her go this can not be fixed anymore.

[gbt71fa]

I am afraid I have seen this sort of thing in the UK over the years. My conclusion is that farang guys just don't consider that Thai women will be like fish out of water in the west. Just consider how your home town differs from Thailand, the food, the weather, and everything else. Also bear in mind nearly everyone is happy in Thailand. In the UK especially misery is the order of the day not happiness. I would never seriously consider bringing an Asian lady back to this depressing hole.

Like I wrote earlier, we were going to buy land and build a house in her home province. Heck, I was going to expat myself there. I think she wants to live like a young girl again.

[wasabi]

It seems to me there is some of this story you don't know. Given Thai women's dubious relationship with the truth who knows what it could be. Personally I think there is someone else and she is just projecting the guilt onto you. Anyhow I would tread very cautiously. Though divorce is easy and straightforward if both people agree I would bring someone with you who speaks and reads Thai and English very well. You don't want to get caught up in some kind of dodgy situation.

Also my ex Thai wife told me after our divorce I would be killed if I ever went to Thailand again. The week after our divorce I headed over to Bangkok where I ran into her. She gave me some dirty looks but then was polite and went on her way. Yup I'm here to tell the tale 4 years later.

[Mali1964]

I am afraid I have seen this sort of thing in the UK over the years. My conclusion is that farang guys just don't consider that Thai women will be like fish out of water in the west. Just consider how your home town differs from Thailand, the food, the weather, and everything else. Also bear in mind nearly everyone is happy in Thailand. In the UK especially misery is the order of the day not happiness. I would never seriously consider bringing an Asian lady back to this depressing hole.

Must agree totally there i've been back 2 months in the UK its quite depressing i have no plans to live her with my misses, i not only fell in love with her i fell in love with Thailand too & i'am already missing it so much.

Sorry to hear of your bad luck mate but don't let it put you off trying Thailand again their are some great girls in Thailand i know i have one.

Maybe don't marry again until your career is nearing its end then you can be together from the start.

Best of luck sorting this out.

[egg6447]

Sound to me the girl is home sick or found somebody else online and wants to be free.

When ladies suddenly decide they want a divorce usually they already build their new nest and the next guy is already waiting for them.

So she comes up with the you are cheating story as an excuse to leave you and wants to divorce in hurry.

Cut your losses and let her go this can not be fixed anymore.

agreed.

[yabaaaa]

Dont mean to be harsh but leaving your wife alone for many many months at a time is bound to lead to problems no?

Not necessarily depends on the people involved. I dont see my wife for 5-6 months at a time then I come over for 3 months. I have done this for 3 years now but she knows that "long term" its for both our benefits. She actually does think of the future. Yes its harder.

[zorro1]

Sound to me the girl is home sick or found somebody else online and wants to be free.

When ladies suddenly decide they want a divorce usually they already build their new nest and the next guy is already waiting for them.

So she comes up with the you are cheating story as an excuse to leave you and wants to divorce in hurry.

Cut your losses and let her go this can not be fixed anymore.

Unfortunately brian is right IMO. The best form of defense for a Thai lady is Attack, leaving the man confused and feeling guilty. Why on earth are you giving her money so she isn't penniless? Who cares about her anymore , what happened to the oath she took when married? Also sounds like OP is looking more for emotional support than Divorce info so my advice is come to Thailand you will survive and after a few more cotastriphies probably meet the right lady. You sound very genuine to me so dont give up. Go here thailovelinks.com and start organising your next real lady. Worked for me , good luck

[nigelandjan]

I just found out by email last night that my wife wants a divorce. I work in Iraq while my wife, she is Thai, is living with my father in the U.S., she was working on her permanent resident card. She thinks that I am cheating on her but I think she is using that excuse because she wants to go home or is tired of me. Oh well not much I can do from The Sandbox. I tried to convince her by phone and email but to no avail and she knows that I can't leave work now.

My question is this: we were legally married in Thailand, paperwork and all, and so can I use a thai lawyer to draw up divorce papers? Any ideas on that from anyone? I am flying her back to Thailand next week so I would like to get this ball rolling. Any ideas about where I should look for such a lawyer. Any advice is welcomed.

We were going to buy land and start building a house in September but that idea seems to have been shot down. I even wanted to own a small business there in the future one day. I will probably have to stay away from Thailand for awhile, which is a shame. Oh well, to be a bachelor again. Don't know what I would do there just being by myself.

Again, I will take serioisly any good advice and only half-seriously bad advice. Thanks

By the sound of it she is well shot of you ,,,,,,,reading your post indicates to me and anyone else reading it with more than 2 brain cells you are married to your work not your wife,,,,,,,,,IF you loved her , which by the casual way you are happy to let her go you obviously dont , then you would jack that poxy job in ad live well within your means with work at home. You ask no help here about saving your marriage ,, just how quickly you can get divorced.. Good luck to your missus ,, sorry no sympathy from me.

[sassienie]

Mate, I would be making sure she hasn't got her eye on any of your US assets.

For a Thai women to be asking for a divorce just before she was going to get a house built for her sounds very strange.

Of course I don't know anything of your circumstances but I would be making sure my flank was secure before moving forward.

Good luck dude.

GOOD ADVICE

[torrenova]

Most people I know who work like the OP spend their time off in Thailand which makes it much easier for the wife etc. I think being aloe in the US is a mistake.

I would worry when her friends and relatives know about the divorce and they advise her to screw you for 50%. Get divorced in Thailand.

[bonobo]

I just found out by email last night that my wife wants a divorce. I work in Iraq while my wife, she is Thai, is living with my father in the U.S., she was working on her permanent resident card. She thinks that I am cheating on her but I think she is using that excuse because she wants to go home or is tired of me. Oh well not much I can do from The Sandbox. I tried to convince her by phone and email but to no avail and she knows that I can't leave work now.

My question is this: we were legally married in Thailand, paperwork and all, and so can I use a thai lawyer to draw up divorce papers? Any ideas on that from anyone? I am flying her back to Thailand next week so I would like to get this ball rolling. Any ideas about where I should look for such a lawyer. Any advice is welcomed.

We were going to buy land and start building a house in September but that idea seems to have been shot down. I even wanted to own a small business there in the future one day. I will probably have to stay away from Thailand for awhile, which is a shame. Oh well, to be a bachelor again. Don't know what I would do there just being by myself.

Again, I will take serioisly any good advice and only half-seriously bad advice. Thanks

By the sound of it she is well shot of you ,,,,,,,reading your post indicates to me and anyone else reading it with more than 2 brain cells you are married to your work not your wife,,,,,,,,,IF you loved her , which by the casual way you are happy to let her go you obviously dont , then you would jack that poxy job in ad live well within your means with work at home. You ask no help here about saving your marriage ,, just how quickly you can get divorced.. Good luck to your missus ,, sorry no sympathy from me.

 

Wow, that is rather harsh! People live in different ways, and just because that doesn't fit your notion of what life is like, that does not mean love doesn't exist.

I was married and spent long periods of time deployed in the military, to include a tour in Iraq, and I hardly think that meant I did not love my wife.  

[CRUNCHER]

I just found out by email last night that my wife wants a divorce. I work in Iraq while my wife, she is Thai, is living with my father in the U.S., she was working on her permanent resident card. She thinks that I am cheating on her but I think she is using that excuse because she wants to go home or is tired of me. Oh well not much I can do from The Sandbox. I tried to convince her by phone and email but to no avail and she knows that I can't leave work now.

My question is this: we were legally married in Thailand, paperwork and all, and so can I use a thai lawyer to draw up divorce papers? Any ideas on that from anyone? I am flying her back to Thailand next week so I would like to get this ball rolling. Any ideas about where I should look for such a lawyer. Any advice is welcomed.

We were going to buy land and start building a house in September but that idea seems to have been shot down. I even wanted to own a small business there in the future one day. I will probably have to stay away from Thailand for awhile, which is a shame. Oh well, to be a bachelor again. Don't know what I would do there just being by myself.

Again, I will take serioisly any good advice and only half-seriously bad advice. Thanks

Perhaps she read your post about "Cute Girls Pattaya Link"

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Pattaya-Link...85#entry2662185

[bingobongo]

I just found out by email last night that my wife wants a divorce. I work in Iraq while my wife, she is Thai, is living with my father in the U.S., she was working on her permanent resident card. She thinks that I am cheating on her but I think she is using that excuse because she wants to go home or is tired of me. Oh well not much I can do from The Sandbox. I tried to convince her by phone and email but to no avail and she knows that I can't leave work now.

My question is this: we were legally married in Thailand, paperwork and all, and so can I use a thai lawyer to draw up divorce papers? Any ideas on that from anyone? I am flying her back to Thailand next week so I would like to get this ball rolling. Any ideas about where I should look for such a lawyer. Any advice is welcomed.

We were going to buy land and start building a house in September but that idea seems to have been shot down. I even wanted to own a small business there in the future one day. I will probably have to stay away from Thailand for awhile, which is a shame. Oh well, to be a bachelor again. Don't know what I would do there just being by myself.

Again, I will take serioisly any good advice and only half-seriously bad advice. Thanks

By the sound of it she is well shot of you ,,,,,,,reading your post indicates to me and anyone else reading it with more than 2 brain cells you are married to your work not your wife,,,,,,,,,IF you loved her , which by the casual way you are happy to let her go you obviously dont , then you would jack that poxy job in ad live well within your means with work at home. You ask no help here about saving your marriage ,, just how quickly you can get divorced.. Good luck to your missus ,, sorry no sympathy from me.

so how long have you been castrated?

Edited April 19, 2009 by bingobongo

[pappy1]

...And, no, I wasn't cheating on her. If you have ever worked in Iraq you can see how that would be hard to accomplish. She thinks I was yahoo messenging someone. Tried to explain that our computer sytems uses a military server and that any type of chat or iming is blocked. Again, I just thinks she wants to part ways.

Sorry about what happened....Go to JAG you are a contractor you are covered under JAG, get someone to stop all claim she might have towards a green card, they can do that. Do it before 2 years is up or she can claim for dependent of blah blah blah some war, didn't show for interview...etc, there is a loop hole about the 2 year thing for essential personnel. Dude go to JAG, even if your KBR, your covered.

What do you do? Spent a fair bit there myself. Good luck.

And fork her for sure. IMHO

Edited April 19, 2009 by pappy1

[thunder30101]

Sounds like you found a young girl who had no idea, married her, took her to a totally foreign place and dropped her off with no support. Gee who woulda thought she would want to go home. Get real dude if you want to take the girl out of the jungle be there for her.

[dbrenn]

I am afraid I have seen this sort of thing in the UK over the years. My conclusion is that farang guys just don't consider that Thai women will be like fish out of water in the west. Just consider how your home town differs from Thailand, the food, the weather, and everything else. Also bear in mind nearly everyone is happy in Thailand. In the UK especially misery is the order of the day not happiness. I would never seriously consider bringing an Asian lady back to this depressing hole.

Some Thai women take to life in farangland, while others don't and become lonely and depressed. The culture is very different, and it helps if there are other Thais around to help the newcomer understand all our strange little traits.

[dbrenn]

I am afraid I have seen this sort of thing in the UK over the years. My conclusion is that farang guys just don't consider that Thai women will be like fish out of water in the west. Just consider how your home town differs from Thailand, the food, the weather, and everything else. Also bear in mind nearly everyone is happy in Thailand. In the UK especially misery is the order of the day not happiness. I would never seriously consider bringing an Asian lady back to this depressing hole.

Like I wrote earlier, we were going to buy land and build a house in her home province. Heck, I was going to expat myself there. I think she wants to live like a young girl again.

Never mind mate. Just make sure that you make time for some R&R in Thailand after you have been to the district office and got the divorce sorted. Have a blast and make yourself feel better. Thai women are like women everywhere - there are good ones and bad ones, so don't give up.

[dbrenn]

Sound to me the girl is home sick or found somebody else online and wants to be free.

When ladies suddenly decide they want a divorce usually they already build their new nest and the next guy is already waiting for them.

So she comes up with the you are cheating story as an excuse to leave you and wants to divorce in hurry.

Cut your losses and let her go this can not be fixed anymore.

This defence in attack thing might be true, but it's beside the point. Infidelity is usually a symptom, rather than a cause of a failed relationship so it doesn't really matter who is shagging whom. She has already told him that she wants a divorce and there is no communication between them, and I think the OP realises that he has to cut his losses.

Maybe she is just bored and has not taken to life in the west - not all do. Not everyone reacts in a positive way to being taken away from friends and family and put into a completely alien environment, no matter how romantic the idea might seem at first.

The OP is lucky that this happened before the house project. His wife, to her credit, came clean on telling him up front instad of milking him for all he's got then dumping his after the house was paid for, as is sometimes the case.

[featography]

Sound like there should be more to this story, "she think you are cheating on her"(??) I wonder what's really up with her>

Maybe she just wants a husband home with her every night. Current situation was ok for a while, but people develop a need for "normal". Anybody consider that?

[InterestedObserver]

Why did you leave her alone her in the US, away from family and Thai speaking friends? She is just plain lonely and craves attention. Of course you are cheating on her, with the computer, because it gets more attention from you than she does. The imaginary girl friend is her way of saving face, and blaming you for the divorce. After all, the farang has to be guilty of something in order for the Thai to rationalize their actions and save face. Send her back to Thailand immediately, it is far easier to get a divorce there than in the US. Just be glad that she has not retained a divorce lawyer, especially if you live in a community property state. Passwords in your head will not do any good if she knows where the money is, a smart lawyer can and will get their hands on it.

Edited April 20, 2009 by InterestedObserver

[loong]

Why did you leave her alone her in the US, away from family and Thai speaking friends?

How do you know that? Did I miss something? I dont remember the OP saying that she had no Thai speaking friends in US.

[sumrit]

You dont need a lawyer. Just meet your wife in BKK and go to the Amphur with passport and marriage docs and sign some papers and viola..its done!

Make sure those papers are translated into english (unless you read fluent thai) before you sign them. You will need a good friend who can translate or a lawyer. The amphur will not tell you what you are agreeing to. Exercise caution.

Good luck

I have a canadien buddy who speaks thai and reads it somewhat well.

If she has your address she can send the divorce papers to you, you can (once translated and comfortable with the agreement) sign and send back. Job done.

If you're talking about signing papers for an Amphur divorce then you can't do anything by post, you both have to go to the Amphur in person.

You can only divorce in the Amphur if you both agree on everything, if you can't agree you have to go through the courts and use lawyers. Once there it's just

a single page form to fill in and, apart from your personal details, just a couple of basic questions you are signing that you agree on. One is what arrangement

has been made for the future custody of your children, if any, and the other concerns what arrangement you have to divide any property/money etc you have

aquired in Thailand SINCE YOU MARRIED. On this point (unless you to agree anything different) any property/money etc each person had before the marriage

remains that persons property and thai authorities only have jurisdiction over wealth/ownership within Thailand so anything you own outside Thailand is not

part of the divorce. Anything aquired within Thailand is usually split 50/50.

The best part about an Amphur divorce is that it's quick, it takes less than an hour in the Amphur, you don't need to involve lawyers, you are issued with your

divorce certificate immediately, and it's FREE. No expensive court costs like we have in the UK.

On the downside everything is done in Thai so, as Geekfreaklover said, unless you are fluent yourself take somebody with you who can speak AND read Thai

with you just to confirm what you are signing for.

[keithlee]

Mate, I would be making sure she hasn't got her eye on any of your US assets.

For a Thai women to be asking for a divorce just before she was going to get a house built for her sounds very strange.

Of course I don't know anything of your circumstances but I would be making sure my flank was secure before moving forward.

Good luck dude.

She was never like that and always did well with our money. Besides, she can't touch my assets unless I give the bank permission and I have all the passwords in me head.

Believe me, I have left reserves to my rear ready to double-time and have pickets on both flanks. My calvary is trailing the pickets....

maybe this is y she wants to get rid of you. you worry too much about your money.

[Shotime]

"She was never like that and always did well with our money."

This has to be the most repeated sentence I've ever read in Thailand.

[samuibeachcomber]

Mate, I would be making sure she hasn't got her eye on any of your US assets.

For a Thai women to be asking for a divorce just before she was going to get a house built for her sounds very strange.

Of course I don't know anything of your circumstances but I would be making sure my flank was secure before moving forward.

Good luck dude.

She was never like that and always did well with our money. Besides, she can't touch my assets unless I give the bank permission and I have all the passwords in me head.

Believe me, I have left reserves to my rear ready to double-time and have pickets on both flanks. My calvary is trailing the pickets....

maybe this is y she wants to get rid of you. you worry too much about your money.

you make a very good point.

[Shotime]

Sound to me the girl is home sick or found somebody else online and wants to be free.

When ladies suddenly decide they want a divorce usually they already build their new nest and the next guy is already waiting for them.

So she comes up with the you are cheating story as an excuse to leave you and wants to divorce in hurry.

Cut your losses and let her go this can not be fixed anymore.

Truest words concerning women I have ever read on TV.

[InterestedObserver]

Why did you leave her alone her in the US, away from family and Thai speaking friends?

How do you know that? Did I miss something? I dont remember the OP saying that she had no Thai speaking friends in US.

Because she is living with the OPs father, probably in the OPs family home, and the odds are in my favor that it's not anywhere near a Thai community. Where does she go to get Thai or Lao or Issan food? How about a local Buddhist temple? The OP doesn't seem a be aware of the emotional support needs of this Thai wife. The fish out of water comes to mind. I could be all wrong, have been before.

[nigelandjan]

I just found out by email last night that my wife wants a divorce. I work in Iraq while my wife, she is Thai, is living with my father in the U.S., she was working on her permanent resident card. She thinks that I am cheating on her but I think she is using that excuse because she wants to go home or is tired of me. Oh well not much I can do from The Sandbox. I tried to convince her by phone and email but to no avail and she knows that I can't leave work now.

My question is this: we were legally married in Thailand, paperwork and all, and so can I use a thai lawyer to draw up divorce papers? Any ideas on that from anyone? I am flying her back to Thailand next week so I would like to get this ball rolling. Any ideas about where I should look for such a lawyer. Any advice is welcomed.

We were going to buy land and start building a house in September but that idea seems to have been shot down. I even wanted to own a small business there in the future one day. I will probably have to stay away from Thailand for awhile, which is a shame. Oh well, to be a bachelor again. Don't know what I would do there just being by myself.

Again, I will take serioisly any good advice and only half-seriously bad advice. Thanks

By the sound of it she is well shot of you ,,,,,,,reading your post indicates to me and anyone else reading it with more than 2 brain cells you are married to your work not your wife,,,,,,,,,IF you loved her , which by the casual way you are happy to let her go you obviously dont , then you would jack that poxy job in ad live well within your means with work at home. You ask no help here about saving your marriage ,, just how quickly you can get divorced.. Good luck to your missus ,, sorry no sympathy from me.

Wow, that is rather harsh! People live in different ways, and just because that doesn't fit your notion of what life is like, that does not mean love doesn't exist.

I was married and spent long periods of time deployed in the military, to include a tour in Iraq, and I hardly think that meant I did not love my wife.

A rather stupid reply ( you was a soldier in Iraq ) well done for that ,, BUT you had NO choice about it ,,,,,,,,,,he is working there by choice ,,,,,,, he obviously thinks more of the money he can earn there than his wife , which he is apparently happy to let go so easily

[zorro1]

"She was never like that and always did well with our money."

This has to be the most repeated sentence I've ever read in Thailand.

Second that, If she never asks for anything you should be doubly suspicious . Shotime is right here its the big sting well planned and orchestrated and yes always the farang left shaking his head "She was never like that and always did well with our money." mumbling over and over as 100k goes down the gurgler.

[rixalex]

This defence in attack thing might be true, but it's beside the point. Infidelity is usually a symptom, rather than a cause of a failed relationship so it doesn't really matter who is shagging whom.

I think it very much matters who is shagging whom.

You're right that there may be factors involved that contribute to infidelity occuring, but that by no means excuses it. If you feel there are problems with your marriage you need to speak to your partner and if a resolution can't be found, then you get a divorce, and then, and only then, can you shag whomever you choose without it mattering.