My Thai Wife Wants A Divorce

[gbt71fa]

I just found out by email last night that my wife wants a divorce. I work in Iraq while my wife, she is Thai, is living with my father in the U.S., she was working on her permanent resident card. She thinks that I am cheating on her but I think she is using that excuse because she wants to go home or is tired of me. Oh well not much I can do from The Sandbox. I tried to convince her by phone and email but to no avail and she knows that I can't leave work now.

My question is this: we were legally married in Thailand, paperwork and all, and so can I use a thai lawyer to draw up divorce papers? Any ideas on that from anyone? I am flying her back to Thailand next week so I would like to get this ball rolling. Any ideas about where I should look for such a lawyer. Any advice is welcomed.

We were going to buy land and start building a house in September but that idea seems to have been shot down. I even wanted to own a small business there in the future one day. I will probably have to stay away from Thailand for awhile, which is a shame. Oh well, to be a bachelor again. Don't know what I would do there just being by myself.

Again, I will take serioisly any good advice and only half-seriously bad advice. Thanks

[gbt71fa]

...And, no, I wasn't cheating on her. If you have ever worked in Iraq you can see how that would be hard to accomplish. She thinks I was yahoo messenging someone. Tried to explain that our computer sytems uses a military server and that any type of chat or iming is blocked. Again, I just thinks she wants to part ways.

[grapetable]

You dont need a lawyer. Just meet your wife in BKK and go to the Amphur with passport and marriage docs and sign some papers and viola..its done!

[johna]

Consider yourself lucky she is so up front about this.

[Livinginexile]

Mate, I would be making sure she hasn't got her eye on any of your US assets.

For a Thai women to be asking for a divorce just before she was going to get a house built for her sounds very strange.

Of course I don't know anything of your circumstances but I would be making sure my flank was secure before moving forward.

Good luck dude.

[gbt71fa]

You dont need a lawyer. Just meet your wife in BKK and go to the Amphur with passport and marriage docs and sign some papers and viola..its done!

That would be easy except that I can't get out of work until September, our first allowed vacation. Plus, getting out of here without manifesting way can be a bit tricky.

[gbt71fa]

Mate, I would be making sure she hasn't got her eye on any of your US assets.

For a Thai women to be asking for a divorce just before she was going to get a house built for her sounds very strange.

Of course I don't know anything of your circumstances but I would be making sure my flank was secure before moving forward.

Good luck dude.

She was never like that and always did well with our money. Besides, she can't touch my assets unless I give the bank permission and I have all the passwords in me head.

Believe me, I have left reserves to my rear ready to double-time and have pickets on both flanks. My calvary is trailing the pickets....

[Sabum]

Dont mean to be harsh but leaving your wife alone for many many months at a time is bound to lead to problems no?

[Geekfreaklover]

You dont need a lawyer. Just meet your wife in BKK and go to the Amphur with passport and marriage docs and sign some papers and viola..its done!

Make sure those papers are translated into english (unless you read fluent thai) before you sign them. You will need a good friend who can translate or a lawyer. The amphur will not tell you what you are agreeing to. Exercise caution.

Good luck

[gbt71fa]

Dont mean to be harsh but leaving your wife alone for many many months at a time is bound to lead to problems no?

This is what I do. I get paid rather well to work in crap-holes. She knew this when I married to her and I explained that this was our life for the next several years.

[Mario2008]

It will depend on where ou live, where you divorce. If both of you continue to live in the US you will probably have to divorce under your US state law.

If your wife returns to Thailand, you can probably get a divorce in Thailand. The easy part about Thailand is that you can get a divorce if both parties agree in no time. Then it is just signing the papers at the ampur and you are divorced.(You will need to bring both original marriage certificates).

Any arrangements you make can be registered and made official when you register your divorce. No lawyers needed. If theree are assets to be split I would recommend to use a lawyer.

If your wife wants a quick divorce you will have something to bargain with, as unless you both agree to the divorce you can only get a divorce in Thailand on the grounds mentioned in the law.

[gbt71fa]

You dont need a lawyer. Just meet your wife in BKK and go to the Amphur with passport and marriage docs and sign some papers and viola..its done!

Make sure those papers are translated into english (unless you read fluent thai) before you sign them. You will need a good friend who can translate or a lawyer. The amphur will not tell you what you are agreeing to. Exercise caution.

Good luck

I have a canadien buddy who speaks thai and reads it somewhat well.

[gbt71fa]

It will depend on where ou live, where you divorce. If both of you continue to live in the US you will probably have to divorce under your US state law.

If your wife returns to Thailand, you can probably get a divorce in Thailand. The easy part about Thailand is that you can get a divorce if both parties agree in no time. Then it is just signing the papers at the ampur and you are divorced.(You will need to bring both original marriage certificates).

Any arrangements you make can be registered and made official when you register your divorce. No lawyers needed. If theree are assets to be split I would recommend to use a lawyer.

If your wife wants a quick divorce you will have something to bargain with, as unless you both agree to the divorce you can only get a divorce in Thailand on the grounds mentioned in the law.

Yes, she wants to head back to Thailand. She kind of made the comment about finding someone else...ouch, eh? I will probably give her money so she isn't penniless and will fly her back. I have to figure another place to vacation to in September!!! I was going to expat my self in Thailand but might have to find another loca....maybe Rome?

[InSiSongkram]

Why can`t you continue to visit or live in Thailand I don`t see why it should be like that?

[Geekfreaklover]

You dont need a lawyer. Just meet your wife in BKK and go to the Amphur with passport and marriage docs and sign some papers and viola..its done!

Make sure those papers are translated into english (unless you read fluent thai) before you sign them. You will need a good friend who can translate or a lawyer. The amphur will not tell you what you are agreeing to. Exercise caution.

Good luck

I have a canadien buddy who speaks thai and reads it somewhat well.

If she has your address she can send the divorce papers to you, you can (once translated and comfortable with the agreement) sign and send back. Job done.

[gbt71fa]

Why can`t you continue to visit or live in Thailand I don`t see why it should be like that?

I don't know if I want to get involved with another thai woman. Sooner or later that would be an issue, I think. Just something I have to ponder I think. Kinda depressing building a house and only me to live in it.

[gbt71fa]

If she has your address she can send the divorce papers to you, you can (once translated and comfortable with the agreement) sign and send back. Job done.

That might be the way to go. Marriage #2 down the drain. Christ, I'm like my dad now.

[rixalex]

I will probably have to stay away from Thailand for awhile, which is a shame. Oh well, to be a bachelor again. Don't know what I would do there just being by myself.

Erm.. i think you'll find that most single men have no trouble finding things to do...

Jokes aside, sorry to hear your news. Guess the only way to think though is how lucky you are that you hadn't invested even more time, money and emotion into something that wasn't rock solid. Lucky escape i say. Best of luck to you.

[billd766]

Dont mean to be harsh but leaving your wife alone for many many months at a time is bound to lead to problems no?

Not necessarily

I am working offshore and get home twice a year.

I was doing the same thing when I first met her 15 years ago.

She knew what I did then and understands that is the way some people work.

I know of many people, Farangs, Thais, Filippinos who do the same and have done for many years.

Most of us are lucky but some sadly are not.

Besides which the divorce rate in western countries is high even when there is no family separation.

[gbt71fa]

I will probably have to stay away from Thailand for awhile, which is a shame. Oh well, to be a bachelor again. Don't know what I would do there just being by myself.

Erm.. i think you'll find that most single men have no trouble finding things to do...

Jokes aside, sorry to hear your news. Guess the only way to think though is how lucky you are that you hadn't invested even more time, money and emotion into something that wasn't rock solid. Lucky escape i say. Best of luck to you.

I thought it was rock-solid. Maybe she is just too young, I am 38 she is 25, and feels trapped, losing her youth whatever. While it might be fun to live the bacherlor's life again, I kinda wanted to start a family. I don't know if it such a good idea to have one with a thai wife, maybe I am just to Farang for them....

[gbt71fa]

Dont mean to be harsh but leaving your wife alone for many many months at a time is bound to lead to problems no?

Not necessarily

I am working offshore and get home twice a year.

I was doing the same thing when I first met her 15 years ago.

She knew what I did then and understands that is the way some people work.

I know of many people, Farangs, Thais, Filippinos who do the same and have done for many years.

Most of us are lucky but some sadly are not.

Besides which the divorce rate in western countries is high even when there is no family separation.

Maybe I should visit the Phillipines? Again, she understans this what I do. I am lousy sitting behind a desk in posh cirucumstances. If there ain't a chance for mortars than I get bored.

[BigSnake]

Sound like there should be more to this story, "she think you are cheating on her"(??) I wonder what's really up with her>

[gbt71fa]

Sound like there should be more to this story, "she think you are cheating on her"(??) I wonder what's really up with her>

Maybe she feels she is missing out on her life as she doesn't get to do much where she is in the states. Maybe she wants to go to discos and party with her friends and misses that life-style. She wants her own food, her family, ect.

[ballbreaker]

Doing the papers through the mail sounds like a good idea but what happens if she spends all the money you give her then tells you she wants more before she files the papers. I think better to hold back funds and go to Thailand and finalize divorce before giving funds. Give her a few bucks for living on till you arrive in September with the understanding she will get more when papers filed.

Don't give up on Thailand but do learn from your mistakes. Next time around don't marry someone you haven't lived with at least two years. Also forget about having a long distant relationship with a gf or wife.

Edited April 19, 2009 by ballbreaker

[gbt71fa]

Doing the papers through the mail sounds like a good idea but what happens if she spends all the money you give her then tells you she wants more before she files the papers. I think better to hold back funds and go to Thailand and finalize divorce before giving funds. Give her a few bucks for living on till you arrive in September with the understanding she will get more when papers filed.

Don't give up on Thailand but do learn from your mistakes. Next time around don't marry someone you haven't lived with at least two years. Also forget about having a long distant relationship with a gf or wife.

We knew each other for almost a year before we got married. All my relationships are long-distance considering where I work.

[loong]

Dont mean to be harsh but leaving your wife alone for many many months at a time is bound to lead to problems no?

This is what I do. I get paid rather well to work in crap-holes. She knew this when I married to her and I explained that this was our life for the next several years.

It's quite common for Thai husbands and wives to be separated by work commitments, but then the wife is usually amongst friends and family in a Thai village.

I hope thinks work out ok for you.

[dbrenn]

I just found out by email last night that my wife wants a divorce. I work in Iraq while my wife, she is Thai, is living with my father in the U.S., she was working on her permanent resident card. She thinks that I am cheating on her but I think she is using that excuse because she wants to go home or is tired of me. Oh well not much I can do from The Sandbox. I tried to convince her by phone and email but to no avail and she knows that I can't leave work now.

My question is this: we were legally married in Thailand, paperwork and all, and so can I use a thai lawyer to draw up divorce papers? Any ideas on that from anyone? I am flying her back to Thailand next week so I would like to get this ball rolling. Any ideas about where I should look for such a lawyer. Any advice is welcomed.

We were going to buy land and start building a house in September but that idea seems to have been shot down. I even wanted to own a small business there in the future one day. I will probably have to stay away from Thailand for awhile, which is a shame. Oh well, to be a bachelor again. Don't know what I would do there just being by myself.

Again, I will take serioisly any good advice and only half-seriously bad advice. Thanks

The easiest way is an Administrative Divorce, and takes only a few minutes if you both agree. All you have to do is go to any district office in Thailand. Take the marriage certificates, her ID card, and your passport, and voila! You are a bachelor again.

Good luck. Have some well earned time off when you get the chance and enjoy ...

[gbt71fa]

Dont mean to be harsh but leaving your wife alone for many many months at a time is bound to lead to problems no?

This is what I do. I get paid rather well to work in crap-holes. She knew this when I married to her and I explained that this was our life for the next several years.

It's quite common for Thai husbands and wives to be separated by work commitments, but then the wife is usually amongst friends and family in a Thai village.

I hope thinks work out ok for you.

We shall see. One of my friends who works in Saudi says he will call her tonight and explain that he could never contact me on yahoo messenger because of downloading problems or blocked by the military server.

[gbt71fa]

The easiest way is an Administrative Divorce, and takes only a few minutes if you both agree. All you have to do is go to any district office in Thailand. Take the marriage certificates, her ID card, and your passport, and voila! You are a bachelor again.

Good luck. Have some well earned time off when you get the chance and enjoy ...

I think the good luck part has been thrown out. Yes, she may have to wait until September. What a terrible way to spend my vacation time. I thought of avoiding Thailand for awhile but if I fly there for the paperwork I guess I would have to stay. Just have to find something to do. Have never been much of a manwhore, god knows I could make good money if I did, so maybe see some of the sights I haven't seen yet.

[martyboy]

I am afraid I have seen this sort of thing in the UK over the years. My conclusion is that farang guys just don't consider that Thai women will be like fish out of water in the west. Just consider how your home town differs from Thailand, the food, the weather, and everything else. Also bear in mind nearly everyone is happy in Thailand. In the UK especially misery is the order of the day not happiness. I would never seriously consider bringing an Asian lady back to this depressing hole.