The Train

[gpdjohn]

Before I ( we ) decided to take the Chiang Mai to Bangkok Express, I checked around on TV to see what I was in for. Not finding out much info, I thought I'd throw my adventure out there for any that are intrested..

The Unit mentioned that she wanted to go spend Songkran holiday with the big city family out on the family farm, no not rice growers, just a "farm as it's called. Her family is actually "do-ers"..they get money and they "do-it".. I noticed your expression was and is the same as mine was. A long story for a different time.

Anyway back to the train..

Both of us have never travelled by the rails, well..I've been on 'em in Japan and the EU, but never a sleeper/overnighter. So, we had plenty of time, no hurry and decided to buy first class tickets on the CM-BKK Express.

1200+Baht for the upper berth, 1400+ for the lower.

Train leaves CM at 1750 and we arrived at the station around 1630. Walked to the 1st class car ( carrying a bag that weighed at least 100lbs, filled with sausage(lanna) and pork rinds. Geeze)

and boarded it... visions of every 1940's-50's movie I had ever seen that had trains in them flushed into my pea brain. Looked pretty classy.

For a minute.

Arrived at our stateroom, number 33 & 34. Cool. The "hallway" or I guess "passageway" was quite narrow, surprised me on how narrow, but passible if there is only one person. Painted a "haze gray" ,you old Navy lifers would recognize it.. "Open the hatch Doll", I said to her, " Quit saying bad word to me" she says since she thinks "doll" is a cuss word..

Looked like a small, as I have heard/read it as described before, like a broom closet.

Tiny little sink on the outer bulkhead, maybe wash one finger at a time using it, and approx 2' of space between the racks and inner bulkhead . Small.

Beds were of the fold down type, with the lower perm flat, with the stair and brace in a rack on the inner wall underneath the top bunk. I guess I was supposed to let the conductor/valet do it because he seemed suprised I was smart enough to figure it out..you know us farangs are quite stupid. Or that he was just gunna add it into the tip he wasn't going to get..

I closed the little door ( hatch ) draggged out a book and the door opens, it the "flight attendant"??

She asks if I want anything, "No" was my reply, "Orange Juice?", "No"..she seets it on the itsy bitsy "table" that is between the itsy bitsy sink and the lower bunk...no worries, I'm rid of her now.

I close the hatch again...few moments, valet/conductor/steward/manwhore opens it again, smiles and trys to look at the Units boobs, until he sees me, see him, looking and he leaves...dawg, just like me.

Forward..

Off we go, chug-aluga, chug-a-luga, TWEET, TWEET. My god..sounds like the Bridge over the River Kwai.. pick up some speed and it's pretty nice. Not smooth, but a nice yaw to it.

A/C wasn't doing to good and getting somewhat warm up in the crib. Talked to the valet/conductor/steward/manwhore and he came into the cube and fiddled with all the switches and buttons, and he again left but quickly returned with pillows and some blankets. Comfy.

I laid on my rack and read until the sun went down.

We stopped at every little place until nightfall, then just a few.

I'll stop now as the rest was uneventful. Got off at the Bang Sue Junction so I do not know or can comment on BKK station. I have heard it is good and bad.

Conculsions:

It's like stepping back in time ( and I already feel as though it's still 1967 here )

A little rough on the edges, but for a relaxing trip...still out on that.

Cheaper than air

It was fun.

We flew home.

Sorry for the quality of the pics..

[PeaceBlondie]

Nice report. Hualalolongabamarama Station in BKK is okay. We took overnight sleeper cabins in the US long after their prime; Thai trains are quaint

[sendbaht]

John, you are as funny as they come, wife keeps asking me what I am laughing at, what a great report!!!!!!

[eek]

Thanks so much for a great report.

Pics very helpful too.

[Pond Life]

Your description brings back some memories.

I tried the first class once & was disapointed.

Now I use the second class a/c sleeper.

Better value & more fun, almost like a picnic party.

[gpdjohn]

Oh yeah, I forgot...

We were supposed to arrive at Bang Sue Jn around 0620. We arrived at 0930.

I asked the conductor on what/why were we this late getting to Bang Sue.

"Oh, we broke down in the mountains during the night."

[venturalaw]

Oh yeah, I forgot...

We were supposed to arrive at Bang Sue Jn around 0620. We arrived at 0930.

I asked the conductor on what/why were we this late getting to Bang Sue.

"Oh, we broke down in the mountains during the night."

Thanks for the report and taking the time. It's appreciated. Now I have an idea what it would be like to travel by train. Good job.

[miltonbentley]

We love the train - something always happens.

Tried First Class once but it is way too cramped we now go for 2nd class sleeper normally fan and find it perfectly comfortable.

First thing to do after departure is head for the 'buffet' car where one should stay camped out until chucking out time. Always order a selection of single dishes never off the Farang rip off 'set menu'. Wash dinner down with lakes of beer and enjoy the scenery and action in the carriage. Often the buffet car turns into a mobile disco with Thai music blaring and flashing disco lights. The drunker you get the more fun it is.

I never cease to be amazed at the number of different uniforms and positions staff have on Thai trains - so many different jobs and most of them seem to entail drinking Sang Som in the buffet disco car .

Bloody marvellous - thank GPD for bringing back so many happy memories

[Dr. G]

Never travelled 1st seems poor value.

Usually fly CM to BKK early morning and take the night train back.

Cold season 2nd class fan sleeper is fine

April, May, June 2nd class air con sleeper no worries.

Spend the first couple of hours or so in the bar/restaurant.

Enjoy the party.

Often up to 5 hrs late with out a double header up Denchai brae.

g

[miltonbentley]

It you're on a strict timetable never take the train.

I've never been earlier than two hours late and was once six hours overdue. All part of the fun.

[Mapguy]

Fun report!

When taking the train, just relax, as advised! Good advice above about seasonal transit!

Clear, however, you haven't much experience with train travel in different countries! Too bad. Do it! Enjoy it! You had better read and enjoy some Paul Theroux books. Go to one of UG's shops to find one or more of them. Lots of trains! Great reads!

Edited April 20, 2009 by Mapguy

[noise]

Conculsions:

It's like stepping back in time ( and I already feel as though it's still 1967 here )

A little rough on the edges, but for a relaxing trip...still out on that.

Cheaper than air

About 2 months ago, some friends took the ride down to BKK and said the compartment was only slightly clean and had cockroaches (not too surprising) but seemed to have missed out on the overall mass cleaning that happened a while ago. Your pics made it look like it was reasonably clean for an old, old train.

And then they said that the toilet smell gawdawful bad. What did you think?

[gpdjohn]

The toilet was a sight.

Squat style, stainless steel, covered in a brown "skin".

Conductor stated that we could shower if we wanted...turns out the "shower" is the butt sprayer in the bathroom. No thanks.

Bad enough standing, I couldn't imagine having to take a steamer.

[thaimiller]

Quality report, we came from bkk-cm the first time i came up here and we were 7 hours delayed, the conductor said that the extra train that pulled us up the mountain broke down, seems they have the same excuse everytime. The best one ive heard was a friend of mine was coming up here on the train from umpalumpa station, he set off at 6pm and thought all was well when he went to bed around midnight, he woke up at 7am next morning back in bkk as there was a problem and the train had turned around and gone back while he was sleeping. The trains are always an adventure if you haven't got to get anywhere quick.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

My notes on train travel for this trip:

- Go for the aircon sleeper SECOND class. Makes the most sense price/value wise. Lower bunk is best as you got a window, and because

you get to decide when the seats convert to your bed, not the person opposite you.

- If you do it for the scenery / experience, then taking the 6pm (or so) departure from Bangkok TO Chiang Mai is best, because the best scenery

is in between Den Chai and Lamphun. It'll be morning by then, so you get the good views. Going the other way there is

only the day train that will give you that scenery, but sitting up for a full day will get very tedious; you really lose a day.

- Only take special express trains, not anything else as they're slow and stop all over the place.

- Trains tend to arrive late, and are slow anyway, so don't do this if you're on any kind of schedule.

[fiddlehead]

good story, thanks.

But next time you take pictures, could you include some of your "units" cleavage?

[sceadugenga]

I'd imagine John McCain would make good bedtime reading as well.

[gpdjohn]

I'd imagine John McCain would make good bedtime reading as well.

I was waiting for that...

Actually a good read.

[gpdjohn]

good story, thanks.

But next time you take pictures, could you include some of your "units" cleavage?

[Boksida]

Nice story gpdjohn, thanks. I haven't used the trains much lately but they can be fun trips. I remember one I made in a First Class sleeper from Bangkok to Nakhon Sri Thammarat sometime in the 70s. The carriages were all polished wood then and there was connecting door between each set of two cubicles in case four people were travelling together. The guy I was travelling with was a veteran of the run and soon had us organised. I was a bit apprehensive as he was carrying a golf bag filled with several pump action shotguns and an M16. The reason for this is another story but, strictly speaking, it was a bit illegal and we could have got into trouble over the M16.

My fears soon subsided as the train guard appointed himself as our waiter and kept getting us beer and ice from the dining car in response to generous tips. After several hours of this and cameraderie was at its peak, my mate thought he would step it up a notch and asked him what he could do about getting some girls to join us.

I thought this was a silly request to make on a train, but he replied "no problem" and headed off somewhere. I couldn't curb my curiousity and decided to follow him at a distance. I assumed he would head up to the bar car and see if anybody was drunk enough to want to party with a couple of farangs in first class. This was his planned destination but on the way he tapped every unacompanied woman passenger under 30 on the shoulder and appeared, from his gesticulations, to be explaining the proposition to them. Nobody seemed to be offended so he obviously had a good line of chat.

You can't beat that for service.

[IanForbes]

I'll just add my thanks for the story quaintly told. It reminded me of the overnight train trip I took from Hua Hin down to Surat Thani. It arrived from Bangkok about midnight at Hua Hin and got to Surat Thani around 7 AM. My girl friend and I had sleeper berths, but not close together. No matter because we were both ready for bed. Once you got used to the rocking it was quite pleasant and MUCH nicer than the VP bus ride back. I was actually able to sleep on the train which is something I can never do on a bus or plane. And, I'll agree with others here. Don't expect a Thai train to be on time.