How Do Thai Males Do It?

[dave9988]

If I go out at night, my Thai significant other will ask where I am going. Do Thai males gf's and wife's do the same? Do they not answer? Do they lie about where they are going? Everyone always talks about how Thai males have multiple women and how Thai women accept this as a part of being in a relationship with a Thai male, but I have never gotten even the faintest hint from my lady that its ok or acceptable. I don't want to have to lie about where I am going or be paranoid of being caught. I really just want to know how Thai males handle it. I am not comfortable enough with any Thai males in real life to ask them directly. I really want to start taking advantage of this aspect of Thai culture but as farang I suppose I am lost at how it works. Do wife's and gf's really not ask where you are going at 9:30 pm or why your phone magically turns off for an hour and a half during this time?

And in regards to second wives and giks, that would take even more time away from your partner. How do you get away with it so to speak?

Thanks.

[TheWalkingMan]

My guess is that the fellas get the fillies to fall so much in love... that the fellas are essentially able to call the shots. In the language of the street... the Thai male pimp hand is strong.

[dave9988]

Can you be more specific? It seems to go against human nature for a woman to love a male so much that she naturally just stops asking him where he is going without her at night. Is this a natural progression in a Thai relationship? Is there some sort of breaking point where he just announces how its going be from now on? Thanks.

[Carib]

Dave 9988 are you paving the way to infidellity ??

[Ulysses G.]

My take is that Thai guys just automatically lie without thinking about it. They say exactly what the girl wants to hear and they are both happy.

[TheWalkingMan]

Can you be more specific? It seems to go against human nature for a woman to love a male so much that she naturally just stops asking him where he is going without her at night. Is this a natural progression in a Thai relationship? Is there some sort of breaking point where he just announces how its going be from now on? Thanks.

I think that it is like this, but remember that this is just my small opinion. Thai ladies, when very much in love, will do pretty much everything to keep their man happy. That includes looking past his "wanderings" or his straying off the straight and narrow. However, I think that you need to get the opinion of a Thai female as to why other females look the other way when her man wanders. What I gave was just my opinion and should not be taken as gospel. So if you are in Thailand, ask your lady friends why other ladies accept the behavior of some Thai men.

Cheers.

[dave9988]

My take is that Thai guys just automatically lie without thinking about it. They say exactly what the girl wants to hear and they are both happy.

Seems not likely. First off, its very easy to check to see if someone is lying. There has to be a desire from the Thai lady to not care. Or to pretend not to care.

Since I was 12 years old every girl I have been involved with would check up on me, have her friends pretend to be interested in me, spy on me, call me endlessly, etc. Come on dude, you can't really be saying that they are just getting tricked.

[Ulysses G.]

I'm saying that Thai girls WANT to be tricked, but Thai guys are way better at it than we could ever be. They make it very difficult for the girl to check up on them and probably question their love for even trying.

Not every Thai guy, but in general, they are "sweet mouths" with no limits on how low they will sink. That is why they can have a half dozen wives as well as visiting the massage parlor regularly.

Edited April 26, 2009 by Ulysses G.

[dave9988]

teach me, please somebody.

here is how it works with my lady.

Oh, hey, is it 9:30 already? I just remembered Dan wanted to get a drink.

Where?

The Peninsula Hotel.

Is his wife coming?

No, he just wanted it to be us.

Why?

I don't know.

Are you going to cheat on me?

Ah, No.

Why didn't you just meet Dan when you went out earlier today?

The bar does not open until night time.

Do you love me?

Yes.

I forgot what the bar looks like. Can you take a photo of it for me? And please get a cocktail napkin with the Hotel's name.

Why don't you trust me?

Should I trust you?

Yes.

...

[TheWalkingMan]

dave, dave, dave....

Your pimp hand is very weak. You should have conditioned your girl not to ask questions already. Dude... I hope you are not a yank and letting the side down.

[Scott]

First of all, a lot of men don't routinely engage in infidelity. Make no mistake, there is a lot of karoke, short-time stuff that goes on, but as far as the 'relationship' stuff, most that I know don't and wouldn't and it's because they are pretty sure they will end up with their penis cut off and stuck in their ear.

The one male I know who has a minor wife, sort of, has a relationship with his wife that basically ended years ago. They share a house, some kids and she goes her way and he goes his. He always goes home at night, though. He goes out with his co-workers and then meets his little trick on the side. She really doesn't seem to care much. Please remember these are middle-class employees and much of their time and money goes to taking care of their family.

Let's remember that the real minor wife stuff is for the rich and they are mostly ethnic Chinese. Having a minor wife is expensive.

My best friend's family has a number of filandering males (and a couple of females as well). It's not handled well by the wives (or husbands) and there have been guns, knives and fists use to settle these mis-deeds. Fortunately,no one has been seriously injured, at least physically, but tolerated, it is NOT.

[jts-khorat]

My take is that Thai guys just automatically lie without thinking about it. They say exactly what the girl wants to hear and they are both happy.

Seems not likely. First off, its very easy to check to see if someone is lying. There has to be a desire from the Thai lady to not care. Or to pretend not to care.

I simply tell her where I am going! Sometimes telling the truth upfront is the best method, even though I might be vague as I often myself do not know where the evening finally leads me.

If she then still wants to come along she is happily invited, but on those evenings where I really need to vent a little bit she then has to endure my mood as well, so she leaves me be and we are both much happier for it. And BTW it should be normal that even in a close relationship every partner has their own time; I would not want to sit in her endless talks with her friends about the food either.

In most cases it also should be no problem where you are going, so why would it not be possible to tell your girlfriend? If you really have to be unfaithful or do stuff where you know it would matter to her or hurt her, then you should be either clever enough to never get caught or not be in that relationship in the first place. The latter would be the moral correct and better choice.

[Ulysses G.]

It is true that Thai women are paranoid about other relationships - They don't want to share the money. However, many could care less about any short-time stuff, and some actually suggest it (less work for them). Thai guys pretty much have it made.

[mhatami]

Can you be more specific? It seems to go against human nature for a woman to love a male so much that she naturally just stops asking him where he is going without her at night. Is this a natural progression in a Thai relationship? Is there some sort of breaking point where he just announces how its going be from now on? Thanks.

I think that it is like this, but remember that this is just my small opinion. Thai ladies, when very much in love, will do pretty much everything to keep their man happy. That includes looking past his "wanderings" or his straying off the straight and narrow. However, I think that you need to get the opinion of a Thai female as to why other females look the other way when her man wanders. What I gave was just my opinion and should not be taken as gospel. So if you are in Thailand, ask your lady friends why other ladies accept the behavior of some Thai men.

Cheers.

I think agree that the Thai guys just good at lying and the gals just except this. It is almost part of cultures. Like all massages gals tell parents they work in salon or regular jobs and the parents never check and I almost believe they know just look other way

[dave9988]

My take is that Thai guys just automatically lie without thinking about it. They say exactly what the girl wants to hear and they are both happy.

Seems not likely. First off, its very easy to check to see if someone is lying. There has to be a desire from the Thai lady to not care. Or to pretend not to care.

In most cases it also should be no problem where you are going, so why would it not be possible to tell your girlfriend? If you really have to be unfaithful or do stuff where you know it would matter to her or hurt her, then you should be either clever enough to never get caught or not be in that relationship in the first place. The latter would be the moral correct and better choice.

Yes. Obviously I am talking about those places. And yes, I don't want to have lie about it or sneak around or feel paranoid. Honestly, I would much prefer permission.

[OxfordWill]

its actually about picking the type of partner, and the vast majority of such girls are not available to us foreigners, with very few exceptions. The kind of parents who bring up the kind of girls who would accept these kind of things are not the kind of parents who would normally allow, encourage or accept their daughter to date a foreigner.

[Ulysses G.]

You have to lie so the other person will feel better (right speech). It is part of the culture.

[Carib]

Quote" Honestly, I would much prefer permission. " Unquote.

Ther is yur answer, Ask And They Shall Find ( out).

[Heng]

Go to Central, and ask them where the pants department is.

[dave9988]

its actually about picking the type of partner, and the vast majority of such girls are not available to us foreigners, with very few exceptions. The kind of parents who bring up the kind of girls who would accept these kind of things are not the kind of parents who would normally allow, encourage or accept their daughter to date a foreigner.

can you be more specific?

i thought this type of "accepting" is fairly common throughout the various social classes here.

I do agree though that it seems farang often end up with more 'Western' minded girls, or at least, the parameters of the relationship tend to get established with a weak male pimp hand.

[dave9988]

Go to Central, and ask them where the pants department is.

I suppose so.

Its not the easiest thing in the world. As in, I actually care about this person. I know that this will hurt this person. I know that I would not want the same for my daughter from her husband... But at the end of the day, I still want what I want.

[dave9988]

You have to lie so the other person will feel better (right speech). It is part of the culture.

Yeah, but an alpha male should not have to lie. I do not want to. I would much prefer to say, here is how I feel, if you really love me you should stay with me.

BUT... That is why I asked about "Thai Culture"... Perhaps, the game must be played differently. Perhaps, I should just do the sweet talk and compulsive lying thing.

I am undecided thus far.

[Heng]

You have to balance it.

Can you afford your extracurricular activities?

Are your activities keeping you fresh and on your toes, ready to go out and 'hunt and gather' some more?

Are you spending enough time with your own lioness and cubs ?

[Heng]

You have to lie so the other person will feel better (right speech). It is part of the culture.

Yeah, but an alpha male should not have to lie. I do not want to. I would much prefer to say, here is how I feel, if you really love me you should stay with me.

BUT... That is why I asked about "Thai Culture"... Perhaps, the game must be played differently. Perhaps, I should just do the sweet talk and compulsive lying thing.

I am undecided thus far.

There is a large corps of children's story writers that should be padding themselves on the back that they have programmed such a negative connotation into the term 'lying.'

It's no different than not revealing your actual costs on one or thousands of items in your inventory when you do business. If you don't feel guilty that you buy your materials at 1 Baht and sell your finished product for 1.75, then you shouldn't feel guilty about that threeway you just had at xxxxxxxxxxx this afternoon.

p.s. that said, there are indeed plenty of girls who will accept it, but you really need to be worth it, and you need to expect that your relationship will likely never be on the same level as it was when you were monogamous

Edited April 26, 2009 by Heng

[dave9988]

Yes, I am making very good money. I think that is one of the reasons that I feel entitled to it. I also feel like if I were to stop desiring to sleep with other women, than I would have less ambition to make money, as you apply.

edit: never mind heng, you answered my question above.

Edited April 26, 2009 by dave9988

[wasabi]

whatever

Edited April 26, 2009 by wasabi

[sbk]

So, it seems as tho the OP isn't so concerned with Thai male-female relationships but rather looking for advice on how to cheat on his partner and not get caught?

If so, why not just say so? Why the need to bring in the usual derogatory generalizations about Thai men and women?

[ovenman]

Why the need to bring in the usual derogatory generalizations about Thai men and women?

The word trolling comes to mind...

[eek]

So, it seems as tho the OP isn't so concerned with Thai male-female relationships but rather looking for advice on how to cheat on his partner and not get caught?

If so, why not just say so? Why the need to bring in the usual derogatory generalizations about Thai men and women?

Was wondering that. I figured might be because Mr "Alpha male" wishes to show he has consideration for the woman he loves and respects so dearly, so preferred to try a round about approach in asking for lying and cheating tips.

[dave9988]

So, it seems as tho the OP isn't so concerned with Thai male-female relationships but rather looking for advice on how to cheat on his partner and not get caught?

If so, why not just say so? Why the need to bring in the usual derogatory generalizations about Thai men and women?

sorry, but i thought that was exactly what i was doing? were my intentions not clear to anyone else?

where was i being derogatory to Thai people?

Edited April 26, 2009 by dave9988