How Do Thai Males Do It?

[BygonKeaw]

reading this thread i have realised y i dont read thai visa anymore.

i think this whole website is a complete joke and its embarrasing.

[ovenman]

reading this thread i have realised y i dont read thai visa anymore.

There's a contradiction in there somewhere...

[BygonKeaw]

but 2 answer the question u shouldnt of married a bar girl dave

your relationship is built of lies and insecurity

[GuestHouse]

Rather than try to guess how a Thai gets away with infidelity (with all the problems of trying to interpret a culture that already has you confused between what you are told is Thai culture and what actually goes on in Thai culture) why not take the easier route to finding out what you need to know and simply as anyone of the many foreigners in Thailand, who having found their perfect Thai woman nevertheless feel the need to play away from home.

There's over sixty million Thai people, let's say 30 million Thai males and lets round that down to 20 million Thai male adults - Do you really believe there is a one size fits all answer to their behavior?

The garbage that is spouted about Thai men by foreigners, or on TV ought to be consigned to where it belongs - back in the bar where it came from.

[BygonKeaw]

reading this thread i have realised y i dont read thai visa anymore.

There's a contradiction in there somewhere...

yes your right but i just feel like reading something to make me laugh today.

[MiG16]

someone is watching too much thai soaps

remember that even in the soaps, which are mostly fictious, it never ends well

is it thai culture? certainly not. all my life, Ive never heard or hear anyone being taught in school, at home, or in books, that its ok to cheat on your partner. or to lie.

in fact those are 2 of the 5 sins according to buddhism. (more than 95% of people in thailand are buddhist) something that is taught to every child every day of school.

having 2 wives husbands is in fact illegal in thailand

and before anyone starts talking about me wearing rose-tinted glasses, well then my answer can only be that perhaps Im just not fortunate enough to know a majority of people like the OP's male friends?

PS. just noticed Guesthouse put it more eloquently than me

[sriracha john]

reading this thread i have realised y i dont read thai visa anymore.

There's a contradiction in there somewhere...

reading your reply to that post i have realised y i don't reply to posts anymore.

[BygonKeaw]

Rather than try to guess how a Thai gets away with infidelity (with all the problems of trying to interpret a culture that already has you confused between what you are told is Thai culture and what actually goes on in Thai culture) why not take the easier route to finding out what you need to know and simply as anyone of the many foreigners in Thailand, who having found their perfect Thai woman nevertheless feel the need to play away from home.

There's over sixty million Thai people, let's say 30 million Thai males and lets round that down to 20 million Thai male adults - Do you really believe there is a one size fits all answer to their behavior?

The garbage that is spouted about Thai men by foreigners, or on TV ought to be consigned to where it belongs - back in the bar where it came from.

Yes i agree thats y its embarrasing to be a farang sometimes.

Stereotyping = small minds

Keep watching television, reading papers and reading this website to keep your minds small.

Over and out

[ovenman]

reading this thread i have realised y i dont read thai visa anymore.

There's a contradiction in there somewhere...

reading your reply to that post i have realised y i don't reply to posts anymore.

me neither

[sriracha john]

Why the need to bring in the usual derogatory generalizations about Thai men and women?

The word trolling comes to mind...

But... his threads are all so highly rated.

[Heng]

in fact those are 2 of the 5 sins according to buddhism. (more than 95% of people in thailand are buddhist)

I'd bet that a fairly high % of people worldwide adopt a religion at one point or another of which they don't adhere to all the rules therein.

[BygonKeaw]

someone is watching too much thai soaps

remember that even in the soaps, which are mostly fictious, it never ends well

is it thai culture? certainly not. all my life, Ive never heard or hear anyone being taught in school, at home, or in books, that its ok to cheat on your partner. or to lie.

in fact those are 2 of the 5 sins according to buddhism. (more than 95% of people in thailand are buddhist) something that is taught to every child every day of school.

having 2 wives husbands is in fact illegal in thailand

and before anyone starts talking about me wearing rose-tinted glasses, well then my answer can only be that perhaps Im just not fortunate enough to know a majority of people like the OP's male friends?

PS. just noticed Guesthouse put it more eloquently than me

Yes mig thats right but please dont bring religion into it as we all know its a load of <deleted>!!!

anyway over and out for the final time. lol

[MiG16]

heng, agreed

but the reason I pointed out the high percentage of buddhist, is to work on the theory of proportion. from the 95 or 97% buddhist, one should be able to assume that a certain amount would practice some aspects of the religion/belief.

and not trying to turn this into a religious discussion. but in thailand buddhism is so much a part of life, its hard for it not to have any impact on how thai people think and behave.

if you rephrase and ask whether fidelity and cheating exist in thai society, of course that is not something I can deny

but to talk about fidelity and cheating being part of thai culture is something i have to refute. or that it is something that is accepted, again something I have to disagree with

[MiG16]

So, it seems as tho the OP isn't so concerned with Thai male-female relationships but rather looking for advice on how to cheat on his partner and not get caught?

If so, why not just say so? Why the need to bring in the usual derogatory generalizations about Thai men and women?

sorry, but i thought that was exactly what i was doing? were my intentions not clear to anyone else?

Dave, your topic title speaks of thai culture

"According to the principles of Thai Culture"

ermmm excu-se moi

PS. someone mentioned contradictions. principles and cheating?

[noahvail]

Yes. Obviously I am talking about those places. And yes, I don't want to have lie about it or sneak around or feel paranoid. Honestly, I would much prefer permission.

As the wise man (or was it wise guy? meh, what's in a word) once said, it's much easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

[capco1]

Very simple solution to such a difficult question........Learn to play golf!!

[Heng]

heng, agreed

but the reason I pointed out the high percentage of buddhist, is to work on the theory of proportion. from the 95 or 97% buddhist, one should be able to assume that a certain amount would practice some aspects of the religion/belief.

and not trying to turn this into a religious discussion. but in thailand buddhism is so much a part of life, its hard for it not to have any impact on how thai people think and behave.

if you rephrase and ask whether fidelity and cheating exist in thai society, of course that is not something I can deny

but to talk about fidelity and cheating being part of thai culture is something i have to refute. or that it is something that is accepted, again something I have to disagree with

IMO human nature tends (not always of course, plenty of people do successfully walk the line... not all monks have a stash of booze and porn, not all alterboys/girls get fondled by their pastors) to override the apparent need for folks to drink, frolic, and kill things (in the worst cases: other people).

[Heng]

Very simple solution to such a difficult question........Learn to play golf!!

And whatever you do, don't say anything to those beer promotion girls that are ubiquitous at driving ranges other than "1 (insert beer name here) bottle, please."

[tb86]

all the 30 something thai guys that i know of that have a little play on the side, in no way have permission from the wife,,, they get caught its gonna end the same way it would in the west, period. Most arent foolish enough to think that there gonna get away with it for long, its dam_n hard work to keep 2 at once bro, be careful what you wish for you may just get it.. If your dead set on having a full time chick on the side you better never let her know where you live, work or hang out normaly, get a second sim card with a seperate phone number, only use cash, <dont want to explain to the wife who you took out to dinner the other night do you? Better have a real good memory as to what you told the wife where you went last thursday because she wont forget what you told her. Never ever be specific about who you are supposed to be meeting or where your gonna be, she will eventualy fact check you.... A close family friend here advised me if that i really wanted to play, it best be done during the day, with a pro somewhere in town that the wife or people that would recognize you would not be......That life will soon wear on you bro,, but sometimes you gotta learn your lessons the hardway,,,Happy hunting

[anothertorres]

i just asked my thai friend and he says "we do it with no light". now we know, thread accomplished. you're welcome.

Edited April 26, 2009 by anothertorres

[OldenAtwoody]

A Thai woman will tolerate it from a Thai man because the shame of divorce (or even the public appearance of marital trouble) is too overwhelming.

With a Farang, she’s already committed to some dishonor therefore she will be more forward.

Additionally, if you are like most Western men, you‘ve pampered her (too much) to the point of her knowing your weaknesses. A Thai would not do that.

Just be honest with her. Mine doesn’t like karaoke that much so I’m often sent packing alone, but I always ask her to go first!

If I go out at night, my Thai significant other will ask where I am going. Do Thai males gf's and wife's do the same? Do they not answer? Do they lie about where they are going? Everyone always talks about how Thai males have multiple women and how Thai women accept this as a part of being in a relationship with a Thai male, but I have never gotten even the faintest hint from my lady that its ok or acceptable. I don't want to have to lie about where I am going or be paranoid of being caught. I really just want to know how Thai males handle it. I am not comfortable enough with any Thai males in real life to ask them directly. I really want to start taking advantage of this aspect of Thai culture but as farang I suppose I am lost at how it works. Do wife's and gf's really not ask where you are going at 9:30 pm or why your phone magically turns off for an hour and a half during this time?

And in regards to second wives and giks, that would take even more time away from your partner. How do you get away with it so to speak?

Thanks.

[OldenAtwoody]

Make a GAME of it. Ask her repeatedly to go. She'll tire of it and stay home.

You: Oh, hey, is it 9:30 already? I just remembered Dan wanted to get a drink.

Wife: Where?

You: Someplace on lower Sukhumvit, he's going to meet me at Nana Station.

Wife: Is his wife coming?

You: No, she's busy, and told him to get out of the house.

Wife: Why?

You: She wants him to get out a little more. Says he's home too much and needs a break.

Wife: Are you going to cheat on me?

You: Only with your sister!.

Wife: Why didn't you just meet Dan when you went out earlier today?

You: I got distracted at the Mall, I saw some really cute shoes I think you'll like. I'll take you Friday night.

Wife: Do you love me?

You: More than rice!

Wife: I forgot what the bar looks like. Can you take a photo of it for me? And please get a cocktail napkin with the Hotel's name.

You: They don't allow pictures. Want to go? Get dressed and wear something really sexy. Hurry!

Wife: Should I trust you?

You: Never! Hahahaha Bye, dear. Love you! (Walking out the door)

And when you get home, have a little something for her: food, a flower, a trinket. Greet her and bed her well. A few rounds of this and she'll trust you so much, you CAN cheat her with her sister!

Ummm, that's what you were asking, right?

-04-26 17:22:30' post='2693422']

teach me, please somebody.

here is how it works with my lady.

Oh, hey, is it 9:30 already? I just remembered Dan wanted to get a drink.

Where?

The Peninsula Hotel.

Is his wife coming?

No, he just wanted it to be us.

Why?

I don't know.

Are you going to cheat on me?

Ah, No.

Why didn't you just meet Dan when you went out earlier today?

The bar does not open until night time.

Do you love me?

Yes.

I forgot what the bar looks like. Can you take a photo of it for me? And please get a cocktail napkin with the Hotel's name.

Why don't you trust me?

Should I trust you?

Yes.

...

Edited April 26, 2009 by OldenAtwoody

[Sabum]

Thais lie... duh, just like falangs, I watch them both play the same game with women (my Thai and falang guy friends).

My friend (falang) got caught red handed literally with another woman in his room twice (2 different girlfriends) both times they cried... then asked him if HE was going to dump THEM... he said no and that he thought SHE would break up with HIM... she said no... just dont let my friends find out and embarass me. NOT THE SAME AS WESTERN CULTURE AT ALL.

[Enjibenji]

Thais lie... duh, just like falangs, I watch them both play the same game with women (my Thai and falang guy friends).

My friend (falang) got caught red handed literally with another woman in his room twice (2 different girlfriends) both times they cried... then asked him if HE was going to dump THEM... he said no and that he thought SHE would break up with HIM... she said no... just dont let my friends find out and embarass me. NOT THE SAME AS WESTERN CULTURE AT ALL.

issan girls perhaps?

my girlfriend is from bangkok. I was around her friends too sometimes when we went out because I was staying there for 4 months or so. We didn't go to all the bars all the old western guys go to, we didn't sit with them, we didn't sit with the bar girls, we didn't get to know any issan girls there. When we went to the club or any place, we would be with her friends from bangkok and other 'normal' people from bangkok; 18-25 year olds, living in bangkok all their life, some uni students, some not, some graduated, some working..

basically, what i'm trying to say is - your story might happen with issan girls or other thai girls who have been pampered so much with money and expensive things, but for 'normal' thai girls (from my experience) like &lt;deleted&gt; would that happen.. NO CHANCE. If i was caught like that i would be sent packing - just like in WESTERN CULTURE.

edit: just read the whole topic. To the guy who created this thread - you are a joke.

Edited April 26, 2009 by Enjibenji

[girlx]

ugh. men.

[MrDream]

My guess is that the fellas get the fillies to fall so much in love... that the fellas are essentially able to call the shots. In the language of the street... the Thai male pimp hand is strong.

I don't think truer words have been spoken. I have seen the occasional lady, whose Thai boyfriends have done as they pleased weeping their eyes out because they do love them. But many Thai ladies don't bother to intrude too much in their other halfs business, assuming their gold is still shining, their apartment or house is in order, and their motorbike or car is clean and running smooth.

Can you be more specific? It seems to go against human nature for a woman to love a male so much that she naturally just stops asking him where he is going without her at night. Is this a natural progression in a Thai relationship? Is there some sort of breaking point where he just announces how its going be from now on? Thanks.

To give you an example; My Missus' brother has his wife, along with a new baby. They live with his parents in their home. His wife has actually answered his phone a few times, to the voice of his Mia Noi on the other end. She knows he is out fiddling around, but afraid of the loss of face, of him sending her back home to the village with a divorce, that she could not bear. As well, with a baby in the picture now, I think she is afraid that he will just take off and not bother coming back.

The thing that surprised me, is that the whole family, mom, dad, and my missus, all know about his gf on the side, and they all know his wife knows, but it remains a topic of discussion that rarely comes up, otherwise he starts smacking her around.

It is true that Thai women are paranoid about other relationships - They don't want to share the money. However, many could care less about any short-time stuff, and some actually suggest it (less work for them). Thai guys pretty much have it made.

Mine is probably one of the most paranoid you will ever meet. We go out shopping, and when we get back I get the silent treatment for about 10 minutes before she lets in on me. " I know you looking lady, I know you want boom boom she!" Ok, which lady are you talking about, and when did this happen so I know what I'm getting accused of lol.

They say that Latin women are the most jealous women on the face of the earth, I say whoever made that statement has never been to Thailand!!!

[marsteele]

dave, dave, dave....

Your pimp hand is very weak. You should have conditioned your girl not to ask questions already. Dude... I hope you are not a yank and letting the side down.

My wife is thai and if I even looked at another female she would personally cut off little fella and shove it down my throat (her words not mine) shit I am to scared to go to the local store as I have to speak to the attendant there. I never go out without her beside me. I don't think thais accept men having a second or 3rd g/f.

[gpdjohn]

Shoe on the other foot..

You wouldn't mind if your wife/gf was going out for some extra as well, right?

[john b good]

My take is that Thai guys just automatically lie without thinking about it. They say exactly what the girl wants to hear and they are both happy.

IMHO, lying is both endemic and a way of life in the realm.

A Thai wife probably doesn't ask (where the hubby is going) because in all likelihood the answer will be a lie and she will be no further ahead. "so she doesn't bother" to ask.

Why is lying endemic and a way of life here is all a derivation from the "lose of face" thing.

I have personally witnessed (on many occasions) a Thai doing something wrong (along with other witnesses) and they "the perp" have vehemently denied it despite many having observed / witnessed commiting the act.

The only reason that alleged criminals admit carrying out an act (murder, rape, theft) is because they know that if they don't and are convicted the book will be thrown at them in terms of severity of a sentence.

Edited April 27, 2009 by john b good

[PeaceBlondie]

Thai language teacher: "Why do you learn Thai language?"

Farang Cheating Alpha Whoremonger: "Talk to Thai man."

Thai language teacher: "Okay. You are gay man?"

Farang Cheating Alpha Whoremonger: "No, I am Farang Cheating Alpha Whoremonger'"

Thai language teacher: "Okay. Why you talk to Thai man?"

Farang Cheating Alpha Whoremonger: "To find out how he is Cheating Alpha Whoremonger."

Thai language teacher: "Thai man not do that."

Farang Cheating Alpha Whoremonger: "Yes he does; all Farang Cheating Alpha Whoremongers say so."

Thai language teacher: "You have black heart, not like Thailand."