A Typical Conversation With My Wife

[Livinginexile]

Sometimes the language barrier between my wife and I can be so frustrating.

An example of a conversation this morning:

Her Indoors “I read cards today for June”

Me, looking up from my morning paper “Oh that’s nice dear, what did they say?”

Her Indoors “for June say you going to travel”

Me “well that’s not going to happen, no way I will be travelling anywhere next month”

Her Indoors “No, it say soon”

Me “next month is soon dear”

Her Indoors “Not next month, for June say you will travel!”

Me “but next month is June dear”

Her Indoors, looking up from her cards like I’m some kind of idiot “I not talk about next month, I talk about for June say you will travel”

Me “wait a minute darling, you say for June I will travel right?

Her Indoors “yes”

Me “well June is next month and no way am I travelling anywhere!”

Her Indoors “for June, for June. Not June!!!”

Me, trying my best to work out what the hel_l she is talking on about. “Ohh wait a minute, you mean FORTUNE. Sorry my dear, you know my English is not so good”

Her Indoors, looking me up and down with contempt “Yes, I talk about for June and and soon you will travel”

Me, going back to my morning paper “yes dear”

Honestly sometimes I feel like I am living episodes from Faulty Towers.

[waza]

lol

[flying]

Thanks made my wife & I laugh so hard.

[longstebe]

Brilliant mate. I've just had a convo with the wife thinking she has lost her driving licence. So I'm asking all the questions, "who do you need tell" "where do you need to go" "how much it costs to replace". Then after a while I said she should really go and get it sorted out.Then she asks "sort what out".

You have to laugh.

[G54]

Brilliant. No wonder we can get into so much trouble for OUR lack of understanding

[JUDAS]

Nice one Basil

[CHdiver]

:D :D

thanks for making me laugh

[true blue]

love it,so typical,tit.

[babuhavas]

you must post this in joke and puzzle forum.....

[JohnGotti]

what is Her Indoors?

[lioness]

what is Her Indoors?

His wife, some people are a bit on the slow side aren't they?

[TerryTibbs]

A quote from the lovable rouge Arthur Daley in the TV series Minder (one of the all time best) it refers to the wife at home.

Edited May 11, 2009 by TerryTibbs

[BIGJIMMY]

Like it.

So where ARE you going in June??

Good times!!

Mr E

Edited May 11, 2009 by BIGJIMMY

[sanook2me]

these misunderstandings are so funny but it seems i laugh mostly and Thai mrs gets annoyed...

similar one to you.

me - do you have wireless/wifi internet in condo as my laptop is not connecting

her - you have wireless

me -yes, i have wireless its built into the laptop

her - you have wireless

me -yes its inside the laptop but i still cannot connect

her - you have wireless

me - <deleted> YES i have wireless but i cannot connect

her - you have wireless

me - ummhhh type wireless into your dictionary

her - virus!

me - no virus just cannot connect to wireless

her - why you laugh at me!

me - here we go again

[loong]

The other half - I will go shopping today

Me - Oh yes, what for?

TOH - I have to get new school clothes for Dtom

Me - Ok, how much do you think you will need?

TOH - Not sure, I have to get some books as well, but maybe not today.

me - When does he go back to school?

TOH - Who?

[HagenvonTronje]

these misunderstandings are so funny but it seems i laugh mostly and Thai mrs gets annoyed...

similar one to you.

me - do you have wireless/wifi internet in condo as my laptop is not connecting

her - you have wireless

me -yes, i have wireless its built into the laptop

her - you have wireless

me -yes its inside the laptop but i still cannot connect

her - you have wireless

me - <deleted> YES i have wireless but i cannot connect

her - you have wireless

me - ummhhh type wireless into your dictionary

her - virus!

me - no virus just cannot connect to wireless

her - why you laugh at me!

me - here we go again

you have wireless

[sanook2me]

these misunderstandings are so funny but it seems i laugh mostly and Thai mrs gets annoyed...

similar one to you.

me - do you have wireless/wifi internet in condo as my laptop is not connecting

her - you have wireless

me -yes, i have wireless its built into the laptop

her - you have wireless

me -yes its inside the laptop but i still cannot connect

her - you have wireless

me - <deleted> YES i have wireless but i cannot connect

her - you have wireless

me - ummhhh type wireless into your dictionary

her - virus!

me - no virus just cannot connect to wireless

her - why you laugh at me!

me - here we go again

you have wireless

my mrs was saying virus but it sounded like wireless, still does....

[pattaya_girl]

My Thai guy says things like..

Where my Hap (meaning where is my motorcycle cap)

wook him Noe (meaning, look at that guys nose on the bike next to us, its huge)

makes me laugh, and makes me Wub him eben more......

Edited May 11, 2009 by pattaya_girl

[nonthaburial]

thats what you call inter racial marriage. at least your wives try to speak your language!! Any chance you can put the paper and beer down and try to reciprocate in Thai - Nah no fcking chance lazy spoilt barsterads. Flame on I dont care the truth hurts

[Livinginexile]

My Thai guy says things like..

Where my Hap (meaning where is my motorcycle cap)

wook him Noe (meaning, look at that guys nose on the bike next to us, its huge)

makes me laugh, and makes me Wub him eben more......

lol you gotta love it.

Today I got:

"I wad a-king him abow da fat" (I was asking him about the flat) and...

"Teelak jaaa, are u hungee?" (darling, are you hungry?)

[pattaya_girl]

My Thai guy says things like..

Where my Hap (meaning where is my motorcycle cap)

wook him Noe (meaning, look at that guys nose on the bike next to us, its huge)

makes me laugh, and makes me Wub him eben more......

lol you gotta love it.

Today I got:

"I wad a-king him abow da fat" (I was asking him about the flat) and...

"Teelak jaaa, are u hungee?" (darling, are you hungry?)

Hey, its not Love, its Wub on this thread ok.. (kidding)

[coconutmonkey]

thats what you call inter racial marriage. at least your wives try to speak your language!! Any chance you can put the paper and beer down and try to reciprocate in Thai - Nah no fcking chance lazy spoilt barsterads. Flame on I dont care the truth hurts

I hope you're joking a#*le! NOBODY is disrespecting their wives, dude. (I, and many of us, speak Thai at home, not English).

It's a very creative, and yes, beautiful thread! I love it....!

Everytime I say 'communication', my wife thinks I mean 'corruption!'

I guess you've got to be in on the action, but really funny sometimes!

This post is a Great read!!! Keep'em coming!

[Moonrakers]

My wife has a habit of not throwing things away. Even things such as broken TV remotes she insists on keeping.

For this reason, one day I let her know just what a hoarder she is..........

Even to this day, I swear at times I can hear the echo from the hand to face (mine) connection.

Edited May 11, 2009 by Moonrakers

[TPI]

My wife has a habit of not throwing things away. Even things such as broken TV remotes she insists on keeping.

For this reason, one day I let her know just what a hoarder she is..........

Even to this day, I swear at times I can hear the echo from the hand to face (mine) connection.

Well, it could have been worse...

This is a great thread...apart from the wan--r further up!

[Sarge]

yep funny post from OP, some of the lost in translation situations are so hilarious. I remember once in Samui I passed by a laundrette sign "Drop your trousers here for best results", the funny thing is that the one up the street had also a "private room", should you have wanted some hanky panky, whilst your laundry got washed. One thing that I have noticed with Thais is that they're unable to pronounce or spell the word tired, invariably the say tried. Dunno why

[anothertorres]

the liked it when i got asked "did you fix the termameter?". after asking back "the what???" about 5 times, i finally understood. i came back about 10 minutes later after giggling to myself privately and asked "what were you calling the *computer TV*?". this time i think the answer was "turbo meter", i can't be sure. i laughed and said, yeah, now you got it, "the monitor".

[mahtin]

"How is our son doing in Thai school?"

"OK. He wery in television."

[Jangot]

A few years ago before we were so used to each other's pronunciation oddities, wife & I had the following conversation.

She: Jane (daughter) wants a helicopter

Me: Why would a 16 year old girl want a helicopter? (assume toy, real one is outside my budget)

She: She says she likes, She wants the new one.

Me: (Thinks, well, that is a Westland Whirlwind out - perhaps a Bell Jet Ranger or Eurocopter). Are you sure helicopter?

She: Yes, the latest helicopter.

Me: OK let's go to Robinsons.

Fade out...fade in at Robinsons. I head for the toy department.

She: No not here - books.

Me: Ah! she wants a book on helicopters (Still thinking strange request from 16 Year old girl).

She: (Pointing to shelf bearing copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, or whatever) - Here, Heli pocter.

Still get a laugh out of that.

[Sarge]

sometimes translation can be quite deep, as well as funny. I took this pic at Korat Zoo, in the reptile section so maybe there is a link

[snuggzzz]

thats what you call inter racial marriage. at least your wives try to speak your language!! Any chance you can put the paper and beer down and try to reciprocate in Thai - Nah no fcking chance lazy spoilt barsterads. Flame on I dont care the truth hurts

Marvellous thread, shame someone tries to spoil it, I have same problems with my Thai wife, but I suddenly remember at last minute-------- she always right or bigger headache....!!!