William Osborne Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 (edited) typical converation for me and the wife..... Wife- blah blah (in thai) Me- get back in the <deleted> kitchen. Wife- blah blah (in thai) Me- <deleted>, The house is a mess, you haven't even cleared the beer cans i left from last night !! Wife- blah blah (in thai) Me - <deleted>, you haven't washed the truck yet ??? Wife- blah blah (in thai) Me - I'm outa beer, <deleted>, get your ass to the 7-11 for another 6 pack... Wife- blah blah (in thai) Me - yeah, yeah, whatever, followed by a back slap... i thought i told you get back to <deleted> kitchen.... <deleted> is there a fcking echo in here ??? Edited January 11, 2010 by William Osborne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruperts Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I must say, these things are only amusing to me in an "oh-my-god-that's-depressing" kind of way. You people really spend that much time trying to decipher something like "Phuket has a nice beach?" I really hope that level of inability to communicate is only shown in isolated cases!If I'm with a girl who says something I don't understand, this is the order things go in: 1. Can you repeat that? - If it's still baffling, then 2. In Thai please? - If I don't know the word, then 3. Can you spell it in English? That rarely fails. Very efficient. Who said romance was dead eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matan Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 (edited) You're absolutely right, asking someone to repeat a word I don't understand, asking them to try in their native tongue, then if that fails, spelling it in english, therefore resolving the misunderstanding and continuing with the conversation, is nowhere near as romantic as asking them to repeat it over and over again, which has all the productivity of bashing your face against the doorknob when the door won't open, instead of trying something new. Her: I have to see a Royal. Me: Royal. Can you say that again? Her: Royal. Me: In thai? Her: Thanai. Me: I don't know that. Can you spell it in english? Her: L-A-W-Y... Me: Ohh, lawyer, right. Law-yuh. Her: Law-yuh. Thanai. Me: I love your beautiful eyes. Don't forget all the documents. Or I have to go see a Royal. What? Royal. What? Royal. What? Royal. What? Royal. To hel_l with you, wench, just get me a bloody six pack on the way back. Edited January 11, 2010 by Matan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumball Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 Should I have to go through that kind of conflab with my wife I would quit , not too often I need to ask her to explain , but then again , maybe why I moved here . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruperts Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 (edited) Matan, not having a go mate. But I do wonder how well such a methodical approach to solving problems goes down in other areas of your life. GF: Shall we have sex tonight, dear? You: Maybe, let me check my diary... ah, yes, I am free from 10.30pm until 10.40pm. Will that do, my love? GF: Yes, that will be fine. You: OK. Do you have any preference with regards to which position we assume? GF: Oh, no, not really. Missionary, I assume. It is your favourite, afterall. You: Haha, yes, indeed it is. You know me so well, darling. etc Edited January 11, 2010 by Ruperts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matan Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 (edited) Matan, not having a go mate. But I do wonder how well such a methodical approach to solving problems goes down in other areas of your life.GF: Shall we have sex tonight, dear? You: Maybe, let me check my diary... ah, yes, I am free from 10.30pm until 10.40pm. Will that do, my love? GF: Yes, that will be fine. You: OK. Do you have any preference with regards to which position we assume? GF: Oh, no, not really. Missionary, I assume. It is your favourite, afterall. You: Haha, yes, indeed it is. You know me so well, darling. etc Of course while it may make people feel better to extrapolate that from the fact that I seem to have a less moronic way of getting through linguistic misunderstandings than they do, I am an unromantic deportee who requires his wife to schedule ten minutes of missionary once a month (assuming my arthritic hip isn't playing up), the reality is unfortunately less satisfying. However, despite being painted as a mercilessly efficient, soulless robot, I'm not so stubborn as to ignore the advice I've been given here. Next time my wife says something I don't understand, I will assume she genuinely means that because of For June she is going to go meet the in-television monarch about the property on the night bees, and will stand close to her, gesticulating wildly whilst loudly asking her how and why she plans on meeting a royal in the TV next June and when she decided to become involved in construction work on top of insects, deeply intrigued to find out the details of what must be a fascinating set of events. I'm sure that ten minutes later, once the meaning comes to me, we will spontaneously erupt in lovemaking with passion of such magnitude that it will probably cause my previously barely activated central nervous system to explode. Edited January 11, 2010 by Matan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruperts Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 Ha! Just make sure you have your wife well drilled in your overcoming communication problems technique, because we wouldn't want her to mistake your screams of agony after the explosion of your central nervous system for moans of pleasure now, would we? I wonder how many of your three standardised questions it would take for your wife to differentiate between an 'oh' and an 'arrrgh'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t.s Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 typical converation for me and the wife.....Wife- blah blah (in thai) Me- get back in the <deleted> kitchen. Wife- blah blah (in thai) Me- <deleted>, The house is a mess, you haven't even cleared the beer cans i left from last night !! Wife- blah blah (in thai) Me - <deleted>, you haven't washed the truck yet ??? Wife- blah blah (in thai) Me - I'm outa beer, <deleted>, get your ass to the 7-11 for another 6 pack... Wife- blah blah (in thai) Me - yeah, yeah, whatever, followed by a back slap... i thought i told you get back to <deleted> kitchen.... <deleted> is there a fcking echo in here ??? fuc_k that made me laugh. anyways, these snippets of domesitc bliss offer little credit to any of the parties involved. farang: tilac, you want marry me? tilac: what you say? me not name mally. falang: no, tilac, i want marry you. we can go to the beach. tilac: i not mary, i no like bees. when you go with mary? recipes for success indeed. keep em coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matan Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I still fail to understand why following a sensible line of questioning when you misunderstand something is being derided and used to suggest relational and sexual inadequacy, yet someone genuinely asking about the existence of swarms of nocturnal bees in a conversation with his wife about how nice Phuket and Phi Phi is embraced as your king and as your god? If the poster had just asked her to say it in thai the whole thing would have been solved. If he'd just asked her to spell it, it would have been solved. Yet somehow I'm the one who has failed at life. Recipes for success indeed, a toast to the Thai Visa elite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eTiMaGo Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 (edited) I still fail to understand why following a sensible line of questioning when you misunderstand something is being derided and used to suggest relational and sexual inadequacy, yet someone genuinely asking about the existence of swarms of nocturnal bees in a conversation with his wife about how nice Phuket and Phi Phi is embraced as your king and as your god? If the poster had just asked her to say it in thai the whole thing would have been solved. If he'd just asked her to spell it, it would have been solved. Yet somehow I'm the one who has failed at life. Recipes for success indeed, a toast to the Thai Visa elite. Matan, for what t's worth I'm on your side... Always got the dictionary app handy on my phone for these situations where the communication barrier gets way too high Edited January 11, 2010 by eTiMaGo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matan Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I still fail to understand why following a sensible line of questioning when you misunderstand something is being derided and used to suggest relational and sexual inadequacy, yet someone genuinely asking about the existence of swarms of nocturnal bees in a conversation with his wife about how nice Phuket and Phi Phi is embraced as your king and as your god? If the poster had just asked her to say it in thai the whole thing would have been solved. If he'd just asked her to spell it, it would have been solved. Yet somehow I'm the one who has failed at life. Recipes for success indeed, a toast to the Thai Visa elite. Matan, for what t's worth I'm on your side... Always got the dictionary app handy on my phone for these situations where the communication barrier gets way too high Yeah I'm thinking of upgrading to some sort of phone that can do that, it's a great idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t.s Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 you must admit there is a perverse beauty in leaving a woman you wont talk to for one you cant talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonrakers Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 Ha! Just make sure you have your wife well drilled <snip> Interesting choice of words there Ruperts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F1fanatic Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I know! Its so funny the way the wife doesn't understand anything you say! And to make it even funnier, she says all sorts of things that you don't quite get! Must admit, I find it v funny.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumball Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 If you think conversations(?) of that ilk are funny , god help humanity . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrahamF Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 you must admit there is a perverse beauty in leaving a woman you wont talk to for one you cant talk to. So it amounts to the same thing, no communication. Let's say I'm a bad driver and I go out and buy a new car, well I'm still a bad driver but at least I've got a newer model car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ricklee Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 I still fail to understand why following a sensible line of questioning when you misunderstand something is being derided and used to suggest relational and sexual inadequacy, yet someone genuinely asking about the existence of swarms of nocturnal bees in a conversation with his wife about how nice Phuket and Phi Phi is embraced as your king and as your god? If the poster had just asked her to say it in thai the whole thing would have been solved. If he'd just asked her to spell it, it would have been solved. Yet somehow I'm the one who has failed at life. Recipes for success indeed, a toast to the Thai Visa elite. Geeesh!! LIGHTEN UP, DUDE!! You'll bust an artery or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosha Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 What gets me is the "Too stupid to walk and chew gum at the same time look" when you finally understand what they are saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
junki3korean Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 +555555 Just read this! I love it! Thanks for posting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharecropper Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 <deleted>. Beat this today: Wife (driving): “are you going to the post office” Me: “No” Wife drives to the post office Me: “why have you come here Wife: “You said you wanted to go”!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 you must admit there is a perverse beauty in leaving a woman you wont talk to for one you cant talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meridian007 Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 her - why you laugh at me! me - here we go again At least in this, I feel your pain. My girlfriend is fluent in English, but my hearing is quite bad from too many loud concerts, and damage from pneumonia I had in my early twenties. If I'm in a place with too much background noise, and I can't see your mouth, I might not understand all of what you said correctly, so I'll try to fill in the blanks by looking at context and similar sounds. My ex-wife (Canadian) used to actually enjoy this, as my dirty mind would often come up with some creative substitutions to what she actually said. She would always laugh when I told her what I thought I heard, as it was usually much more interesting than the original sentence. Sadly, this doesn't work with my girlfriend. Although I've repeatedly told her over the past two and a half years that I think she is fluent, she always gets angry and thinks that I can't understand her English. She's then reluctant to repeat what she said, for fear that her "bad English" will confuse me further. She is getting better with it now, but it's still not as light-hearted as it was with my ex, as my girlfriend is now pushing for me to get a hearing aid (but I'm only 38!). Ahh, communication! Is there any couple in history that hasn't had problems of some sort of misunderstanding? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigerfish Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 (edited) get your own back! try going to a fast food chain drive in, and ordering food missing out every other word. ever seen the movie waynes world Edited January 13, 2010 by tigerfish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maahuanao Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 My missus shouted to me......."honey - jet pan" [7 thousand] I replied "f#ck off, I've just given you 2000 baht" Missus " why you not care about me?" After a bit of an argument I realised that what she had said was " honey - jep fan" [toothache] Oops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David006 Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 We often get "cut up" while driving and I always used to swear...now my "she who must be obeyed" has taken over.. "stupid baaastaard, boll....oks wanke_r you die soon" ..hilarious cure for road rage.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David006 Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 We often get "cut up" while driving and I always used to swear...now my "she who must be obeyed" has taken over.."stupid baaastaard, boll....oks wanke_r you die soon" ..hilarious cure for road rage.... couldn't find edit... just remembered one time an erratically driven truck loaded with coconuts and perched on top was the monkey...I started to grin and the wife looks at me and says "what dear? you think wrong person driving yes!!"........amazingly astute lady!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzdocxx Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 (TGF) …….. hey you not interesting me!(Farang) Sorry honey I was busy reading ThaiVisa, what were you saying? (TGF) I want to go Night Bee’s. I’m so boring! (Farang) Oh, I don’t think your boring darling… (TGF) Every day you on termameter and virus, I tried! (Farang) What? You tried to use the computer? I thought you had to go into town today? (TGF) Yes, I go lolly shop, after snake shop. Buy fit, clap, penis snake. Cost for June. (Farang) Will you be travelling by psychiatrist or Happy Potter? (TGF) Oh you think you very in television! I tried. Maybe I go see Royal. I got several good laughs from this one, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matan Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 My missus shouted to me......."honey - jet pan"I replied "f#ck off, I've just given you 2000 baht" Missus " why you not care about me?" After a bit of an argument I realised that what she had said was " honey - jep fan" Oops. You tell your wife to "f#ck off" ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahole Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 I get out of the shower and my Thai Geek says, "You feel hungee, I make food in Electrolux". So there I was....Hmmmm.... What the heck in an Electrolux.? I dont have an oven, im sure it's not the microwave, it has to be the refrigerator. Sure enough, the brand name and make of the refrigerator is Electrolux. I started to chuckle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maahuanao Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 My missus shouted to me......."honey - jet pan"I replied "f#ck off, I've just given you 2000 baht" Missus " why you not care about me?" After a bit of an argument I realised that what she had said was " honey - jep fan" Oops. You tell your wife to "f#ck off" ?? Only when she asks for money Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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