Have You Been "hit On"...?

[ChrisP]

Have you been hit-on, or "cruised" while out alone...? or even when you're with your bf..??

Tell us your story...

the young man at the counter slips us a phone number...

Well, that's never happened to me... BUT, my bf and I were shopping in Din Daeng and went to a clothing store. Suddnely I'm faced with a Thai boy who is smiling broadly at me and giving me the obvious "come-on"... (And it HAS to be obvious for me to even notice!)

My bf is in the other aisle, walks around the corner, sees this, and is NONE too happy..! Luckily, I didn't do ANYTHING to respond...

This continued on and off - even after we left the shop we kept "bumping into" him... Eventually my Thai said something to him... (NO idea what!) and he disappeared...

ChrisP

[The_Eye_Of_Sauron]

I don't want to sound too stentorian (again), but you are nuts wanting to come and live in a dump like Thailand and leave behind a lovely place like San Diego.

Living here is about 1% as much fun as coming here on holiday.

I'd switch places with you in San Diego in a heartbeat.

[ChrisP]

but you are nuts....

Probably, but it takes all sorts to make the world go round.

Now back to the topic at hand....

ChrisP

[ProThaiExpat]

I don't want to sound too stentorian (again), but you are nuts wanting to come and live in a dump like Thailand and leave behind a lovely place like San Diego.

Living here is about 1% as much fun as coming here on holiday.

I'd switch places with you in San Diego in a heartbeat.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Having family in San Diego and gone to school there, before Torrey Pines Golf Course, University of California at San Diego (Torrey Pines) etc. and visited many hundreds of times over long weekends in the ensuing years, I add the following why I underatand the desire to re-locate here, if you are retiring. If you have to work in Bangkok, I am in complete agreement with Sauron.

A two bedroom one bath house over 40 years old without an ocean view costs 400,000 USD.

Chris P How much does a reasonable seafood meal cost at Anthony's now, I remember it being 10USD a long time ago, mid80's?

My mother lived there for 40 years but still couldn't grow cucumbers due to the marine layer that overcasted the city and hid the sun for most of the day anywhere near the ocean.

My brother lives in Lemon Grove where there is plenty of sun and a large green telehone junction box in the middle of his front lawn, he has lived in that house for 40 years.

Perhaps if you are rich and famous living in San Diego is great, but for working slobs it is no picnic, many living half way to Los Angeles to find affordable housing and North San Diego used to be affordable, a mere hours commute to Downtown.

Most retireees who have the gumption to move are usually out of San Diego as soon as they can manage it and move to Mexico, Central America or places like Thailand to stretch their retirement dollar.

[ProThaiExpat]

Now back to the subject of the thread, if your asking about serious cruise, as opposed to curiosity looks that abound in Thailand, I would say once, but then I rarely pay attention to anyone but my Thai when I am out. I have never been one to cruise. Unless they knock me over the head and haul me away, I am unaware.

Having said that, I was in a clothing store having a big discount sale with friends visiting from the U.S., when a very tall, my height, young Thai boy, not particularly good looking (always the type that go for me) started to stare, smile and maneuver over to stand next to me. It was very erotic but made me very nervous as I was sure all could see how obious he was. Not so, most were more interested in the clothes for sale.

I learned a long time ago that fantasy is not reality. This kid probably had no body, many diseases, spoke no English and was interested in making some money, so where would it go even if I was not monogomous with my Thai. I was not flattered by the attention, as Thai's motives in these situations are very suspect in my view and due to my age, I am extremely wary of youngsters who are looking for connection with men old enough to be their grandfathers!!

[Ijustwannateach]

If they take you by surprise, I guess there's not much more you *can* do than what you guys did, Chris and ProThai.

The problem doesn't end with cruising- an old flame might come up and even give you a little greeting hug or peck on the cheek. We don't go out often to gay areas, but this has happened with me and my guy before- and it really, really drives him crazy.

I don't think the solution is to keep looking at the ground and ignore all other human beings, which is the only way we could manage not to get cruised or to meet old friends. I think we have to reassure our partners that they have no reason to be jealous (and make sure there *is* no reason for them to be jealous!), and then just let them deal with it as a fact of life. I love flirting, even though 99.9999999999% of it leads to nothing- it's still socially fun and flattering, and I think it would make us sick if we didn't do it at least a bit.

Plus, I know my guy looks at other farang who're his type when they're around- and he certainly doesn't mind me!!!

"Steven"

[ChrisP]

Ok.. off-topic - I know.. but I'm the moderator!

PTExpat..

The meal at Anthony's is about $40 for one now...

I'm living in a 1 bed 1 bath 1,100sqft 3rd floor rented Condo in San Diego Bankers Hill (with a harbour view) that I can't even afford to buy.. it's over $650,000... and I now earn a six-figure salary!

San Diego is SOOOO expensive these days. The downtown area has more high-rise condos now than you can shake a stick at.. all going for about $750,000 up to 5 million. Real Estate goes up 15-20% each year.

The real-estate "affordability index" is 13% - the percentage of people who can afford the price of an "average" place here.! I've no clue who keeps buying..

If I retired.. there's no way I could afford to live in San Diego. That's why I'm coming there.. to make my money stretch to a good and quiet lifestyle.!

ChrisP

[ChrisP]

Back to the Topic..

Oh, and I DON'T get cruised here... (in San Diego)...

I'm considered "too old".

ChrisP

[snoophound]

Not even ladyboys??

Back to the Topic..

Oh, and I DON'T get cruised here... (in San Diego)...

I'm considered "too old". 

ChrisP

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[peter991]

I don't know if 'cruised' was the word I would use to describe my encounter. I'm 51 and was with my Thai bf in Sunnee Plaza after having a delightful lunch at Monty's Bar. We were on our way to an internet cafe when a drunken Thai boy aged about 19 or 20 staggered up to me and said :'I go with you. 40 baht.' I called out my my bf, who was about 5 paces ahead of me. My bf did nothing - just watched. I gave the guy 20 baht for a meal and told him that I had a bf. Fortunately I was able to make an exit and told my bf that if ever I am 'hit on' but another Thai guy to 'rescue me.' I think he wanted to see how I would handle the situation.

[wowpow]

Oh for a Hamburger Mary's and Kickers Bar in Thailand! Do they still thrive? San Diego is a wonderful city and the climate is a dream with mild warm sunshine nearly all the time and little rain. It is certainly in my top cities of the world to live.

Having said that and many happy memories (Cory the lifeguard) getting cruised in Thailand is not rare. Flirting and being flirted with is a daily joy. I do have the ultimate physical attraction after "young and handsome" and that is old. fat, very white skin and hair, with a stupidly/weathy aura. This seems to be found very sought after. Also the reputation for over-tipping/ jai dee cannot do any harm.

Even yesterday at Bang Saray after a superb seafood lunch c300baht at Bang Saray we walked the jetty and the,scantily clad, fishermen were all giggles and flashing eyes and when I shook hands with one they all queued up for a handshake. Thailand so much fun for so little money!

[ProThaiExpat]

Back to the Topic..

Oh, and I DON'T get cruised here... (in San Diego)...

I'm considered "too old". 

ChrisP

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

While I appreciate you doing so, as penance for "going off topic" you should start a new thread with a theme "if your considered too old to tango but still want to

While my guess is that many of us cite economics as a reason for moving to Thailand in retirment, I wonder how many of us who like younger really think the "big payoff" in not economics, but the Thai lack of concern for age in a lover, such a big deal in the west?

[Ijustwannateach]

I'm still young enough to be considered dateable even in the age-phobic West, but I'm here for the lack of homophobia. Who needs to live in a country where they feel like they have to pass a *constitutional* level law against same-sex marriage?

On New Year's Eve I went to eat at the Sphinx for the first time in... must be almost a year!- with my guy. Seating was tight as the countdown approached. Some kathoey types walked past between our table and the bar... I don't know about the rest of you, but kathoeys often catch my eye merely as curiosities (they send off mixed signals) even though I'm not remotely interested in dating them- not to mention that the whole meaning of life for many of them is simply to get attention- so I found myself catching "his" eye; so to be polite I smiled and nodded. Not half a second later, he had stopped by my table and asked me if he could sit with us! I was a bit surprised and off-balance, but had the presence of mind to refuse him flatly. Even so, my guy got angry at me.

Me:"But I was just looking at him!"

Him: "You smiled and nodded!"

Me: "I did that to be polite!"

I don't think it was serious, though, because the drama only lasted a minute.

"Steven"

[ChrisP]

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to convince my Thai bf that when I'm back in the USA, I'm NOT getting cruised by young cute guys every minute of the day...!

I tell him I'm too old here in San Diego to be cruised.... even though I look in my 40's... (see related "age" post..)

And if I tell him I'm actually at the gym...!!! Well.

ChrisP

[ProThaiExpat]

I don't know the origin of the phrase "Queer Eye" but I think there is a T.V. show about a "Queer Eye for a Straight Man".

Anyway, have any of you heard from straight men, in the "know", that the way they can tell if they have passed a gay man on the street is that the gay man holds the initial gaze, while the straight man promptly looks away.?

I know I get nervous when a man holds my gaze as we pass. If he smiles I definitely flush or blush like a school girl. He may just be friendly by nature but you know where I am going with this.

[ChrisP]

It's "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"... kind of a good watch sometimes..!

Now they've tried "..for the Straight Girl".. not so successful.

I've never met a straight man yet who knows the gay "hold-the-initial-gaze" routine..

I don't usually do it consciously.. I have to "turn it on"... but I *DO* have fun doing this sometimes, just walking down the street, or in a store... . (I have to be in the right mood to play this.. and NO.. not for a pick-up!)

I do it just to test my "gaydar"....

ChrisP

[The Coder]

Though not gay, I occasionally look in this forum, the farang girls forum and others to see what is going on. On this topic, I have some experience so I hope it is ok to post. I can't say I have ever been hit on in the US by someone who is gay my entire life. But in Thailand it happens often when I am alone which is most of the time. Guys working at restaurants most commonly, a guy selling CD's in a shopping mall non challantly asking to "go smoke" back when I didn't know what it meant, a tuk tuk driver, a business type guy as I was standing at the sky train, the massage guys standing outside their business, and many other such situations out of the blue from guys aged from teens to 40's. It actually doesn't bother me and is a little flattering. I like the openness people show and no one is conditioned to be ashamed of their sexuality. That's the way it should be. If only thai girls were as bold outside the bar areas...

[The_Eye_Of_Sauron]

Chris P -

....you ever run into a gay Brit called Bryan Thomas in San Diego.? Probably early 50s now.

[ChrisP]

^ Nope, sorry.

^^ Coder.. you must be cute! - to get hit on so much...

ChrisP

[orchis]

Those furtive glances in hotel lobbys, shopping mall escalators, the gym.

A bank teller once told me he wanted 'to smoke my p****' , someone once passed me a note under a toilet door ('u want to have sex with me?', it read)

A cleaner, a security agent, a policeman on leave on the beach (turned out he worked in 'lost and found').

I must be really attractive or come over as a senior member of Slut International