Raising A Thai/farang Child In Thailand

[edgarfriendly]

I don't think the government is what you have to worry about. It is your wive's relatives that you need to be worried about. The aunt that "volunteered" to help out. There is no free aunt in Thailand. Beware of relatives baring gifts! Also, Thai families are the biggest danger to your child and your relationship with your wife, not the government.

Good Luck!

so, just for clarity....

if a woman u slept with and gave morning after pills to,

came demanding money for;

doctor to explain 'strange' period pattern, abortion, doctor to sve babies life(cos its dying inside her),

doctor to kill baby(again), items for baby, nappies and milk and bottles and clothes for unborn child,

fee for having baby, a demand for my passport or 'i(she) will go in the jail',

note - id received advice from a lawyer friend by now.

more money for hospital, powdered milk, at just days old, food, clothes, buggy, TV?, laptop??,

etc etc etc.

having been denied a dna test, extorted for photographs, and lied to about the scar above his now year old eye, i went to the police and asked for assistance.

3 million baht, then the suggestion that if i walked out of the police station with police property(A4 with details on) id be locked up while 2 officers came and stood by the exit.

long story shorter than fair - no more photos, no contact, just abuse and lies.

sorry for taking the thread off track.

ef

could happen anywhere - so u know

e2a - umm yea there was a question but i forgot it, something along the lines of moan moan moan.

Edited May 14, 2009 by edgarfriendly

[TheRealDealOnline]

Hi,

I never wrote anything in any forum, but now I have to once.

I moved to Thailand with my family over a year ago. My kids are now 4 and 2, half Thai, half Farang. I never had to regret that decision for one moment. The kids were both born in Germany, and I still have to stay here for some months every year for several reasons.

For the kids the move had been the best we could do. Nobody here in Germany, they call themselves here as well in the U.S. the first world (they really do even when its more than ridicoulous), can understand it, but I really have to say schools are better there in Thailand than here in the old world. There is less violence in daily life kids have to be confrontated with. And even when the traffic seems to be wild at the first view it is much less aggressive and more paying attention to slower trafficmembers than it is here in Europe, where everything has its reglementation and these rules often substitute paying attention on others. There are so many more advantages a child has to grow up in Thailand, its always warm 1st. Children grow up with a complete other mindset, its positive and misses a lot of behaviour we have to handle with in our western societies. We fight against agression and violence in kids nowadays, kids in Thailand grow still up with respect to elders and teachers, no child here has that really anymore. Especially for babies its a complete other world. While in our western world young babies get their own room with a few months ( a single cell for a newborn with a bed like a prison), a single bed, a breathing and heartfrequency sensor, a babyphone with video, complete observation for being alone, babies in Thailand lay in the same bed their parents do, they get warmth and love all around the clock, especially when they are asleep. Be happy that you brought your wife over there, the hospitals, the private ones at least, that are not expensive for us, are really great, friendly and the nurses get crazy about little farang babies, I really doubt that you would have conditions i our western world that can come near. And when people still think that it would be better here in Europe or the U.S. I do not understand that they live there, complaining all the time. I do not understand too that it is so hard for 95 % of the farang to wear at least long trousers and do not look as one would go to the beach, noone of the locals looks like s... like the most farang do, and mostly they are the complaining ones. And all of the "experts" that complain about not being able to trust anybody, 99 % of them do not even speak a word Thai, ... but understand everything (hahaha) of the robber plans. Its easy to complain, its harder to be willing to understand and it seems to be hardest to try to trust somebody. Be happy that your kids will be in a positive surrounding that in my opinion has much more consciousness today than our western society that is for centuries mostly is built on the influence of a church that comes from Rome, and I do not want to comment the humanity of that any further. Be happy that your kids will grow up missing some thoughtstructures they definetly would get in our western world. Be happy that they will have a family that adores kids, even when they never will learn the word no, but that you will be able to teach them a bit.

Be happy that you will be a proud father and do not let you scare by people that you would not deal with in your normal life too. If your wife thinks it would be the right surrounding follow her opinion, she gets the baby and trust her more than anybody who gives his good advice here or anywhere else. Trust her more than strange foreigners you do not even know, include myself. Trust your heart and seal your ears, its your life, its your wife, its your kids, your family. Thailand is more secure than any western country I know, and if you watch statistics you will find that out too. There are only 3 % of the inhabitants that cannot read or write thats exactly the level you find in the European Union. And which country in the west gives out more than 17 % of the states balance for education. I do not know one. So take away the fear and enjoy having a pregnant wife and getting a baby. All the luck of the world for you and your family.

[inquisitive]

if a woman u slept with and gave morning after pills to,

came demanding money for; ...

having been denied a dna test, ...

I know this is off track, but it is so important that I have to write: You don't need "permission" to run a dna test. All you need is access. Brush the child's hair, and then take one from the brush. That's all you need. Send your sample to a private lab. Then you will get your answer. If you are wrong about your suspicions, then you can lay that concern to rest. If you are right, then at least you will know you are right to continue to fight for justice.

Good luck, my friend.

[coventry]

. In the army I worried about my men, now I worry about my family.

What a stupid statement. In a combat zone one worries whether about oneself and about others, but Thailand isn't a combat zone. Hence why I said before, 'just cause you're American, not everyone wants to kill you' or words to that effect. Calm down Thailand ain't Iraq. I've been a soldier myself, but you are paranoid.

[coventry]

I have pretty much vetted their family and found them to be exceptional people.

How can you vet Thais ? Are they on all on a central computer system that's open to availability ? Get real.

[coventry]

from outside, it does look "uncertain", whatever the reality is.

.

"The reality is" that the OP doesn't live in Thailand and therefore the understanding of life in general here, other than what the wife tells him, is limited. Otherwise he wouldn't be asking the question. Edited May 14, 2009 by coventry

[marsteele]

I, like the original poster, am a US citizen with Thai wife and baby due in July. We intend to have our baby in Thailand and live there most of the year. As far as your fears, I feel they are somewhat unfounded and borderline paranoid.

In America: Nearly 800,000 cases of missing children per year (ref: http://www.slate.com/id/2157738/)

I feel more secure when I walk the streets of Thailand and have NEVER had any feelings of uneasiness or fears of injury/violence towards myself. In fact, by and large, if you are tending to your own business, most Thais will simply leave you alone if you don't initiate any interaction. In America you have attitudes among certain generations that only spark fear and insecurity.

In my hometown of Khao Lak (Phang Nga) I feel quite secure and have left all my tools in the back of my truck for days without fear of anyone stealing them. In America, I couldn't leave a hose on my lawn or someone will steal it, even if they didn't want it.

When I shop, I tend to get more respect, because I lend respect to the Thai of whom I live among. After all, I'm the foreigner and have encroached on their culture, so I respect it. I may not like certain aspects of it, but who am I to complain or try to change it. In America, the cultures are so diverse that I get lost in translation. I like 'simple' and simple is what likes me.

As far as your child...there is no better experience than 'travel' and 'culture'. I've visited over 30 countries, and wouldn't change the experience in any of them for 100% security. Live on the edge, but live wisely.

You stand a better chance to be robbed, disrespected, victim of fraud, cheated, experience road-rage or simply f**ked over in America than you do here in Thailand. Why? Because I believe my attitude towards life here is vastly different than that of my life in the US.

As far as the politics...perhaps you are oblivious to the corruption in any government, yours included!

I agree

[think_too_mut]

Have you never seen what happens to those who do not prepare for the future and wait until it happens?

Can you recall the pictures of people hanging off the rails of the last helicopter off the roof of American embassy in Saigon?

That scene came after they had stopped accepting more evacuees:

[edgarfriendly]

You don't need "permission" to run a dna test. All you need is access.

quite.

i have, and have had for almost a year now, 2 seperate kits.E2A - that i carry with me.

access is another matter. even the grandma has been lying.

oh the lies, if i was a weaker man i mighta jumped by now.

nationality is irrelevant to me, cuntishness is universal.

ef

i remember my question now,

Shall i just fuc_k off home??

E2A - just to stay on topic, id highly advise raising children here if you have the time and inclination to make sure they get into decent schools.

a lot of educational institutes here will gladly allow the kids to sleep thru classes.

apart from that, its warm here, its relatively free from sarcastic public servants/citizens.

lovely place, comparativley.

ef, again

Edited May 15, 2009 by edgarfriendly

[MJo]

Have you never seen what happens to those who do not prepare for the future and wait until it happens?

Can you recall the pictures of people hanging off the rails of the last helicopter off the roof of American embassy in Saigon?

That scene came after they had stopped accepting more evacuees:

Bit off topic but the gentleman who took the above picture. Mr. Hugh Van Es, passed away at the age of 67 in Hong Kong were he lived more than 30 years.

It was long believed that the picture is from evacuation of the American embassy but in reality it was from other building used as accommodation for CIA personnel. Van Es confirmed this himself what i believe was a New York Times interview in 2005 or 2006.

I'm not that familiar with his work but above photo is pretty famous and reportedly he was one of the best photographers around that time. Anyways may he rest in peace.

Edit: Some of his famous photos HERE

Edited May 15, 2009 by MJo

[kpnganer]

I have a Thai husband and am an Australian farang. We have a 4 month old daughter. I went back to Australia to have our daughter. My husband came too. I made this decision because of the excellent facilities I had for free at the hospitals there. We returned back to Thailand when our daughter was 2 months old. we live on a peaceful (if u keep out of other peoples business) tropical island where my daughter is fussed over, can have fresh air, and will be able to run around on beaches and in the mountains. We have a lifestyle here that we could never afford in Oz. I have always wanted my children to grow up here from the first time I came (20 years ago) and am quite happy for the first 10 years of her life to be here. After that, if she needs education for a gifted nature we might decide to return back to Oz for a couple of years.This is a decision that can be made later.

As for politics and war etc.....how difficult would it be to just "go back home...ie America"? We are the lucky ones who still have consular support from our countries residencys so would have the right to evacuation if required. So I don't really understand why people are worried about this. Just protect assets etc.

As far as health is concerned, hospitals are fantastic here.

Re: Motorbike, car accidents..as someone before mentioned there are ways to get around this...car seats etc.

Life is as good as you make it anywhere on the planet. We are not is a war torn country such as Iraq or Afganastan and can not be compared to places like that. Thailand is still a peaceful place if you keep out of politics and other peoples business.

[johnnymoretti]

I, like the original poster, am a US citizen with Thai wife and baby due in July. We intend to have our baby in Thailand and live there most of the year. As far as your fears, I feel they are somewhat unfounded and borderline paranoid.

In America: Nearly 800,000 cases of missing children per year (ref: http://www.slate.com/id/2157738/)

I feel more secure when I walk the streets of Thailand and have NEVER had any feelings of uneasiness ...

As far as the politics...perhaps you are oblivious to the corruption in any government, yours included!

You're comparing the state of the U.S. government with the current state of the Thai government? Sorry, I thought new fathers were allowed to be paranoid. I don't worry about myself, but I always worry about my wife and soon my child. It is what I do. In the army I worried about my men, now I worry about my family.

You can be paranoid if you want to be. But "paranoia" is a delusional fear. And I don't "worry" about my family, but I do keep a level head to keep them safe. I consider myself one that keep due diligence and am quite aware of my surroundings. I am a veteran soldier, too, but I don't worry. It's a useless emotion and for me, it does't lend strength to keeping my family safe.

[johnnymoretti]

I don't think the government is what you have to worry about. It is your wive's relatives that you need to be worried about. The aunt that "volunteered" to help out. There is no free aunt in Thailand. Beware of relatives baring gifts! Also, Thai families are the biggest danger to your child and your relationship with your wife, not the government.

Good Luck!

so, just for clarity....

if a woman u slept with and gave morning after pills to,

came demanding money for;

doctor to explain 'strange' period pattern, abortion, doctor to sve babies life(cos its dying inside her),

doctor to kill baby(again), items for baby, nappies and milk and bottles and clothes for unborn child,

fee for having baby, a demand for my passport or 'i(she) will go in the jail',

note - id received advice from a lawyer friend by now.

more money for hospital, powdered milk, at just days old, food, clothes, buggy, TV?, laptop??,

etc etc etc.

having been denied a dna test, extorted for photographs, and lied to about the scar above his now year old eye, i went to the police and asked for assistance.

3 million baht, then the suggestion that if i walked out of the police station with police property(A4 with details on) id be locked up while 2 officers came and stood by the exit.

long story shorter than fair - no more photos, no contact, just abuse and lies.

sorry for taking the thread off track.

ef

could happen anywhere - so u know

e2a - umm yea there was a question but i forgot it, something along the lines of moan moan moan.

Quite frankly, I'd be more afraid of this person over any Thai. What exactly is he talking about??

[think_too_mut]

I have a Thai husband and am an Australian farang. We have a 4 month old daughter. I went back to Australia to have our daughter. My husband came too. I made this decision because of the excellent facilities I had for free at the hospitals there.

......

As far as health is concerned, hospitals are fantastic here.

How convincing: a pregnant woman taking a 10 hours flight from one fantastic hospital to another, for a routine baby delivery?

We returned back to Thailand when our daughter was 2 months old. we live on a peaceful (if u keep out of other peoples business) tropical island where my daughter is fussed over, can have fresh air, and will be able to run around on beaches and in the mountains.

Quite a hippie life then.

[think_too_mut]

We have a lifestyle here that we could never afford in Oz. I have always wanted my children to grow up here from the first time I came (20 years ago) and am quite happy for the first 10 years of her life to be here. After that, if she needs education for a gifted nature we might decide to return back to Oz for a couple of years.This is a decision that can be made later.

Again, when the needs comes, back to the place where it can be satisfied.

As for politics and war etc.....how difficult would it be to just "go back home...ie America"? We are the lucky ones who still have consular support from our countries residencys so would have the right to evacuation if required. So I don't really understand why people are worried about this. Just protect assets etc.

Crying mommy again, when things go bad. Hoping that mom will jump to help Koh Phangan first, before she tends to 30,000 Australians in around Bangkok, on the mainland anyway. How many of first 1000 flights (if that many are allowed and all are B-777) will be taking off from Koh Phangan?

Life is as good as you make it anywhere on the planet.

Are you sure? Maybe not 100% :

We have a lifestyle here that we could never afford in Oz.

Another contraversion or you you know it was a nonsensical platitude 2 lines earlier?

Tell about life with flowers in your hair to North Koreans, Burmese...and pretty much to 80% of planet's population, including 1 entire continent (Africa).

[edgarfriendly]

Quite frankly, I'd be more afraid of this person over any Thai. What exactly is he talking about??

I'm /was talking about never getting access to my son.

and being blackmailed for photos of him.

is that scary enough for you?

i mean basic!!

ef

Edited June 23, 2009 by soundman
Fixed quote formatting.

[JohnGotti]

My wife and I are returning to Thailand next month and then I will go back to work outside the country. We found out that she is preganant but still wants to go back to Thailand to be with her family. My family in the U.S. is not in the best of health, getting up there in age and really can't assist her with the baby. She has a great family circle that can help her out in Thailand and her aunt has already said that her daughter will live with my wife to assist her. My problem is not with Thailand itself but with all its "troubles". Most of the mess going on in Bangkok, political and otherwise is rarely felt outside Bangkok but the pass few years does seem to trend ill for Thailand. Attitudes are changing and it would be nice to keep a government in power for at least a few years. We already discussed that the child will go to a private school or return to the U.S. when it is of school age. To all the parents out there, What is your opinion on giving a birth and raising a Thai/Farang child in Thailnad...Pros and Cons. I'm afraid of letting the kid even get near a street or even close to a vehicle in this country. Two good friends, one a long-time resident of Thailand, said I was crazy for thinking of having the baby here and raising it, even for a little while, in Thailand.

i have no experience but becareful these helping family members are not just looking for a reason to hit you up for money. "oh, we can't wait to help"... wink wink.

[Jungian]

I have an 8 year old and a 15 month old, no worries or problems. Actually my wife and I decided to move to Thailand when we decided to have children.

[mallyrd]

My son in law now has three Thai/Farang children, one from his wifes former marriage and two with my daughter in law. The middle child (just past four years & Thai/Farang) goes to school, plays with friends and doe most other things a four year old will do. For myself, my wife was married before, two children; one of those is now married to my son in law (he's Swedish) and the other is in university. Life is what you want it to be. Kids are thick skinned.

You said you would go back to overseas work, what sort of turnaround are you on? This also plays an important part with the kids whether they are simply Thai, Farang or mixed race.

[CHINWA]

My wife and I are returning to Thailand next month and then I will go back to work outside the country. We found out that she is preganant but still wants to go back to Thailand to be with her family. My family in the U.S. is not in the best of health, getting up there in age and really can't assist her with the baby. She has a great family circle that can help her out in Thailand and her aunt has already said that her daughter will live with my wife to assist her. My problem is not with Thailand itself but with all its "troubles". Most of the mess going on in Bangkok, political and otherwise is rarely felt outside Bangkok but the pass few years does seem to trend ill for Thailand. Attitudes are changing and it would be nice to keep a government in power for at least a few years. We already discussed that the child will go to a private school or return to the U.S. when it is of school age. To all the parents out there, What is your opinion on giving a birth and raising a Thai/Farang child in Thailnad...Pros and Cons. I'm afraid of letting the kid even get near a street or even close to a vehicle in this country. Two good friends, one a long-time resident of Thailand, said I was crazy for thinking of having the baby here and raising it, even for a little while, in Thailand.

IF THEY WERE YOUR FRIENDS FOR REAL THEY SHOULD NOT LIE TO YOU. COME OVER AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. THE EDUCATION OF A CHILD STARTS AT HOME... THE REST IS THE RESULT OF THE PARENTS EFFORTS. IF IT DOESN'T WORK HERE IT WILL NOT WORK ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD!!!

ANY PLACE IS GOOD TO RAISE A CHILD AS LONG AS THE PARENTS HIM/HER THE EDUCATION AND GUIDANCE NEEDED TO LIVE IN A DETERMINED PLACE. TO SEND THE CHILD TO THE STATES WOULD BE OK BUT, WOULD THE CHILD BE SAFER THERE??? I DOUBT! FOLLOW YOUR INTINT AND CHOOSE WHAT'S BEST FOR THE 3 OF YOU AND IGNORE YOUR FRIENDS' COMMENTS AND ADVICES.

BEST WISHES

Edited June 23, 2009 by CHINWA

[Boo]

Please do not post in capitals is it very bad netiquette & the equivelant of shouting. Thanks

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Forum-Netiquette-t254949.html

[CHINWA]

I don't think the government is what you have to worry about. It is your wive's relatives that you need to be worried about. The aunt that "volunteered" to help out. There is no free aunt in Thailand. Beware of relatives baring gifts! Also, Thai families are the biggest danger to your child and your relationship with your wife, not the government.

Good Luck!

so, just for clarity....

if a woman u slept with and gave morning after pills to,

came demanding money for;

doctor to explain 'strange' period pattern, abortion, doctor to sve babies life(cos its dying inside her),

doctor to kill baby(again), items for baby, nappies and milk and bottles and clothes for unborn child,

fee for having baby, a demand for my passport or 'i(she) will go in the jail',

note - id received advice from a lawyer friend by now.

more money for hospital, powdered milk, at just days old, food, clothes, buggy, TV?, laptop??,

etc etc etc.

having been denied a dna test, extorted for photographs, and lied to about the scar above his now year old eye, i went to the police and asked for assistance.

3 million baht, then the suggestion that if i walked out of the police station with police property(A4 with details on) id be locked up while 2 officers came and stood by the exit.

long story shorter than fair - no more photos, no contact, just abuse and lies.

sorry for taking the thread off track.

ef

could happen anywhere - so u know

e2a - umm yea there was a question but i forgot it, something along the lines of moan moan moan.

Quite frankly, I'd be more afraid of this person over any Thai. What exactly is he talking about??

DITTO

[Ryan Clark]

On 5/12/2009 at 5:24 PM, EndofDays said:

My wife and I are returning to Thailand next month and then I will go back to work outside the country. We found out that she is preganant but still wants to go back to Thailand to be with her family. My family in the U.S. is not in the best of health, getting up there in age and really can't assist her with the baby. She has a great family circle that can help her out in Thailand and her aunt has already said that her daughter will live with my wife to assist her. My problem is not with Thailand itself but with all its "troubles". Most of the mess going on in Bangkok, political and otherwise is rarely felt outside Bangkok but the pass few years does seem to trend ill for Thailand. Attitudes are changing and it would be nice to keep a government in power for at least a few years. We already discussed that the child will go to a private school or return to the U.S. when it is of school age. To all the parents out there, What is your opinion on giving a birth and raising a Thai/Farang child in Thailnad...Pros and Cons. I'm afraid of letting the kid even get near a street or even close to a vehicle in this country. Two good friends, one a long-time resident of Thailand, said I was crazy for thinking of having the baby here and raising it, even for a little while, in Thailand.

 

Hi, 

 

I recently moved to Bangkok, Thailand-from Vancouver BC, Canada-to support my Thai wife and our new born son. After reading your post, I took the time to reflect about the pro's and con's of living or raising a family here. Obviously, on this social platform, people will suggest to do many things, yet, I hope you make the most informative decision. It is appealing to live in a tropical country with a lower cost of living; it is appealing to be joyous of your new Thai family; it is appealing to learn about a new culture and its gastronomy; it is appealing to be able to bring your currency into a nation that gives you copious advantages, and it is appealing to fantasize about it all. However, raising a child in the kingdom can be extremely challenging as well. The upsides in Thailand are things we all enjoy, yet, the pitfalls are hard to ignore: sex tourism industry and how it is normalized, the corruption with police, the hygiene and the uncleanliness, the arrogance towards expats (Thailand is not like Mexico), the juxtaposition between the rich and the poor; ivory towers beside garden shacks. And if you discuss these issues with Thai's, the response will always be, "if you don't like it then leave." More importantly, Thailand is not a democracy, nor do they value it. But it's fundamental for individuation and becoming inquisitive; learning to ask questions is necessitated for post secondary education. They call this place the land of smiles...Do I dare to disagree? lol, I am going to end the rant. Overall there are amazing things in Thailand and I do have an incredible family here, fortunately my wife has agreed to move back to Canada to raise our child. There is a consensus between us about her country: it is still a playground for tourists. Therefore, it is my belief that is important for you to think about these issues, because they are relevant and will affect how your child perceives the world.  

[Nick Carter icp]

3 minutes ago, Ryan Clark said:

 

Thailand are things we all enjoy, yet, the pitfalls are hard to ignore: sex tourism industry and how it is normalized, 

 

   Just keep away from red light areas , don't go past seedy bars or bars where bar girls hang out and they wont be aware of it 

[ModdaPunk]

On 5/12/2009 at 12:10 PM, coventry said:

I've got 3 under 18 months old and I'm not worried and I really can't understand why you are ?

 

Probably because he's kinda clever.

[richard_smith237]

On 5/14/2009 at 9:25 AM, think_too_mut said:

Just for fun, apply it at:

Not building a sound house as earthquakes "could/might happen in the future" and they are far less certain than political changes;

 

Just like the UK, there is no need to build 'earthquake proof' houses as there are no significant earthquakes, the largest being an 6.1 event in 2014 and a 6.8 event in 2011, each resulting in a single death and 'some' property damage. 

 

 

On 5/14/2009 at 9:25 AM, think_too_mut said:

Exposing, unnecesarrily, a kid to an irrelevant language and substandard educational system as it "only" might be needed in the future;

 

Why is learning their national language 'irrelevant'...  its highly relevant if they want to have a future here.

 

 

On 5/14/2009 at 9:25 AM, think_too_mut said:

Have you never seen what happens to those who do not prepare for the future and wait until it happens?

Can you recall the pictures of people hanging off the rails of the last helicopter off the roof of American embassy in Saigon?

 

A bit paranoid...    Apply some sensible balance....

[richard_smith237]

The political concern is moot - there is nothing that occurs on the political landscape that has any impact on our family. 

 

The genuine concern from my perspective is road safety, pedestrian safety and electrical safety....

 

One of the key factors is education... If the children are at a good International School, then the education is fantastic, if they attend government schools, then the education system back home may be better.

[SAFETY FIRST]

1 hour ago, Ryan Clark said:

Hi

 

There is a consensus between us about her country: it is still a playground for tourists. Therefore, it is my belief that is important for you to think about these issues, because they are relevant and will affect how your child perceives the world.  

Hi, Newbie, welcome aboard and well done resurrecting a 15 year old thread. 👍

 

My children studied bilingual primary school and secondary international school. 

My eldest (19yo) studied in the UK and now studying at QLD university. 

 

I arrived in my 30's, now middle aged, so not a tourist, still enjoying the playground 😂

 

 

Edited November 12 by SAFETY FIRST