Girlfriend Needs To Divorce Deserted Husband

[hlfourie]

Hi all, I am not sure if this is the right place to post this, but here goes; My girlfriend and I of about 3 years have two beautiful little girls (twins), now one year old. We are not married because she is still legally married to an American who left her about 7 years ago, from information that she received from the US embassy, he had returned to the US at about the same time of leaving her. She assumes he is dead because he was around 70 years old when he left her and not in good health. He has also never contacted her again after he left, no emails, phone calls or anything. The situation now is that we would like to get married but first my girlfriend would need to divorce or finalise her existing marriage in some or other way. There is also a question of a house the deserted husband built for her or them or himself, that her mother and father have been living in and that she would not like to lose, apparently the house and land was bought through a company he registered in Thailand with unknown Thai shareholders who she doubts even exist. Any ideas from anybody on how to handle this would be appreciated.

[grapefruit88]

With your gf's stellar history, arent you afraid you may go missing in the near or distant future?

[hlfourie]

With your gf's stellar history, arent you afraid you may go missing in the near or distant future?

To tell you the trueth, yes I am, but I am giving her the benefit of the doubt for now.

[Texpat]

I'd start at the local land office to determine whose name the land is under.

Have you googled US obituaries for the old dude's name? Do you know what state/city he went back to?

Edited May 17, 2009 by Texpat

[mommysboy]

Hi all, I am not sure if this is the right place to post this, but here goes; My girlfriend and I of about 3 years have two beautiful little girls (twins), now one year old. We are not married because she is still legally married to an American who left her about 7 years ago, from information that she received from the US embassy, he had returned to the US at about the same time of leaving her. She assumes he is dead because he was around 70 years old when he left her and not in good health. He has also never contacted her again after he left, no emails, phone calls or anything. The situation now is that we would like to get married but first my girlfriend would need to divorce or finalise her existing marriage in some or other way. There is also a question of a house the deserted husband built for her or them or himself, that her mother and father have been living in and that she would not like to lose, apparently the house and land was bought through a company he registered in Thailand with unknown Thai shareholders who she doubts even exist. Any ideas from anybody on how to handle this would be appreciated.

Yes you need a lawyer, both matters can be resolved. I've done the divorce bit, and also gone to court on some company issues. If TV will allow it PM me.

Actually, what is the rule if recommending a lawyer?

[sassienie]

With your gf's stellar history, arent you afraid you may go missing in the near or distant future?

To tell you the trueth, yes I am, but I am giving her the benefit of the doubt for now.

This I find really worrying.

Firstly, does your girlfriend have any telephone numbers or addresses of anyone connected with her previous husband in the States? I.e. family, friends etc.

If she does, than you should try and contact them to enquire if they have knowledge as to what has happened to her husband.

If this draws a blank, than visit the American embassy or consulate here to see if they can assist you with contacting American public records offices for death certificates.

Otherwise as one poster suggested, try a search on-line.

If you feel that you are in danger in anyway from your girlfriend, make your concerns known to family or friends.

To be quite honest, I would not even consider marriage to this girl until you have more information regarding her and certainties of what sort of person you are dealing with here.

[givenall]

With your gf's stellar history, arent you afraid you may go missing in the near or distant future?

To tell you the trueth, yes I am, but I am giving her the benefit of the doubt for now.

This I find really worrying.

Firstly, does your girlfriend have any telephone numbers or addresses of anyone connected with her previous husband in the States? I.e. family, friends etc.

If she does, than you should try and contact them to enquire if they have knowledge as to what has happened to her husband.

If this draws a blank, than visit the American embassy or consulate here to see if they can assist you with contacting American public records offices for death certificates.

Otherwise as one poster suggested, try a search on-line.

If you feel that you are in danger in anyway from your girlfriend, make your concerns known to family or friends.

To be quite honest, I would not even consider marriage to this girl until you have more information regarding her and certainties of what sort of person you are dealing with here.

You also register with your embassy in the local country ( I assume is Thailand) you reside to make sure they have a record of you being here

[mommysboy]

With your gf's stellar history, arent you afraid you may go missing in the near or distant future?

To tell you the trueth, yes I am, but I am giving her the benefit of the doubt for now.

This I find really worrying.

Firstly, does your girlfriend have any telephone numbers or addresses of anyone connected with her previous husband in the States? I.e. family, friends etc.

If she does, than you should try and contact them to enquire if they have knowledge as to what has happened to her husband.

If this draws a blank, than visit the American embassy or consulate here to see if they can assist you with contacting American public records offices for death certificates.

Otherwise as one poster suggested, try a search on-line.

If you feel that you are in danger in anyway from your girlfriend, make your concerns known to family or friends.

To be quite honest, I would not even consider marriage to this girl until you have more information regarding her and certainties of what sort of person you are dealing with here.

You also register with your embassy in the local country ( I assume is Thailand) you reside to make sure they have a record of you being here

In all honesty OP ignore any scare replies, a Thai lawyer would find all this sort of stuff run of the mill, albeit it will take a year or two to resolve.

[grapefruit88]

With your gf's stellar history, arent you afraid you may go missing in the near or distant future?

To tell you the trueth, yes I am, but I am giving her the benefit of the doubt for now.

This I find really worrying.

Firstly, does your girlfriend have any telephone numbers or addresses of anyone connected with her previous husband in the States? I.e. family, friends etc.

If she does, than you should try and contact them to enquire if they have knowledge as to what has happened to her husband.

If this draws a blank, than visit the American embassy or consulate here to see if they can assist you with contacting American public records offices for death certificates.

Otherwise as one poster suggested, try a search on-line.

If you feel that you are in danger in anyway from your girlfriend, make your concerns known to family or friends.

To be quite honest, I would not even consider marriage to this girl until you have more information regarding her and certainties of what sort of person you are dealing with here.

Maybe i dont understand thai culture . What more info does this guy need about the girl. She a bad girl, but im sure in his eyes she has changed her ways. I understand where poor girls coming from(their mindset) , i just dont understand where the men coming from.

[hlfourie]

With your gf's stellar history, arent you afraid you may go missing in the near or distant future?

To tell you the trueth, yes I am, but I am giving her the benefit of the doubt for now.

This I find really worrying.

Firstly, does your girlfriend have any telephone numbers or addresses of anyone connected with her previous husband in the States? I.e. family, friends etc.

If she does, than you should try and contact them to enquire if they have knowledge as to what has happened to her husband.

If this draws a blank, than visit the American embassy or consulate here to see if they can assist you with contacting American public records offices for death certificates.

Otherwise as one poster suggested, try a search on-line.

If you feel that you are in danger in anyway from your girlfriend, make your concerns known to family or friends.

To be quite honest, I would not even consider marriage to this girl until you have more information regarding her and certainties of what sort of person you are dealing with here.

Maybe i dont understand thai culture . What more info does this guy need about the girl. She a bad girl, but im sure in his eyes she has changed her ways. I understand where poor girls coming from(their mindset) , i just dont understand where the men coming from.

Thank you for the response, but I was not looking for info on my girlfriend, good or bad, I was only asking on how it will work to have her divorced from a deserted husband. For all I know, yes he could be six feet under in his backyard where my girlfiends parents now live in his house but thats not the point. Well for the moment at least. Over the past three years she has been pretty good with me, we have our normal ups and downs but most importantly is that she is the mother of my children and a very good mother and has been a good partner to me. She has been quite allusive with regards to the husband just apparently dissapearing off the face of the earth and I never as perhaps I should have early in our relationship pushed the point as I am now trying to do.

[grapefruit88]

Im not trying to insult sir. You already in too deep. Im trying to help the next Forrest Gump who comes along and falls for a VERY verY bad thai girl.

Heres some good advice: if your girl doesnt push the issue just drop it. And dont marry her. She may have killed the guy if she evades the topic when you bring it up!

Edited May 17, 2009 by grapefruit88

[MJo]

Im not trying to insult sir. You already in too deep. Im trying to help the next Forrest Gump who comes along and falls for a VERY verY bad thai girl.

Your not helping anyone making assumptions here on motives of a person that is total stanger to you. So why posting at all.

Start your own thread and tell your story "how i get scammed" if you want to caution others. I bet it will be real Forrest Gump material

[hlfourie]

Im not trying to insult sir. You already in too deep. Im trying to help the next Forrest Gump who comes along and falls for a VERY verY bad thai girl.

OK sir, but with what advise are you trying to help the next forest gump with?, maybe I can find something useful in it.

[grapefruit88]

Im not trying to help op. He already in too deep.

Theres prolly a hillbilly from europe deplaning right this moment! He may listen to some sage advice! Stay away from girl who has husband disappeared with no explanation. Family only seem to worry how to keep house. Learn to connect dots people.

If only people learn from guys like this los would be even more fun. These guys stories are so sad.

[hlfourie]

Im not trying to help op. He already in too deep.

Theres prolly a hillbilly from europe deplaning right this moment! He may listen to some sage advice! Stay away from girl who has husband disappeared with no explanation. Family only seem to worry how to keep house. Learn to connect dots people.

If only people learn from guys like this los would be even more fun. These guys stories are so sad.

Please explain to me what makes my story so sad, because you seem to be the only one getting sad about it because I am not sad and there is most defianatly no lesson to be learnt by others from the advise that i asked. I think maybe you should read my message again and try and understand what I am saying before making stupid comments. By the way I am finding you insulting and I think you are a prime example of a sad individual with no life.

[mommysboy]

I doubt we'll be needing forensic .

Being pragmatic: I think it's just a case of divorce with the possibility of losing the property, or waiting and getting it by default.

But a lawyer will know best.

[473geo]

The guy goesback to USA....the parents live in the house.....forget about him unless something occurs later.....

It is nothing more than the Thai way.....life goes on until something changes.....but don't go looking....

[grapefruit88]

You have no life too geo473? You a fan of connect the dots too sir

Edited May 17, 2009 by grapefruit88

[mommysboy]

The guy goesback to USA....the parents live in the house.....forget about him unless something occurs later.....

It is nothing more than the Thai way.....life goes on until something changes.....but don't go looking....

Might prove to be the best course of action.

(seek advice about yearly auditing costs though)

[473geo]

Yes thanks.....I live my life.....no need to fabricate to make it more exciting......

[Mali1964]

I think you should question more things about this guy,maybe get this guy to check her story out before you go down the very expensive lawyer route.

http://www.thaiprivateeye.com/about_thai_p...e_thailand.html

[Boo]

let's stop with trolling. The op's gf is guilty of nothing more than being married & not knowing where her ex (of 7 years) is. Hardly a hangable offense or reason for some of you to make such degrading comments about her. Anymore of it & I will be issuing warnings & posting holidays.

[Jangot]

I really don't understand the attitude of the people here who are, with no viable justification, calling this girl very bad.

Caution is one thing, but gratuitous bad-mouthing is another.

Look, if she had wanted to get the old dude out of the way to inherit house, money etc. and move on to a younger mark, there were better ways to do it.

A "heart attack', unfortunate fall down stairs of from a balcony, a regrettable road accident. Then there would have been a body and everything would have been wrapped up neatly, quickly and cleanly.

Why not assume that he regretted getting involved with her, for whatever reason, and did a bunk

Yes, OP needs to be very careful, and he has shown that he is that.

Why not just help him with the advice he asks for.

I would rather live in hope (and with due care) and get stung maybe, than live my entire life in bitter distrust and fear.

Carpe diem.

[grapefruit88]

I think you should question more things about this guy,maybe get this guy to check her story out before you go down the very expensive lawyer route.

http://www.thaiprivateeye.com/about_thai_p...e_thailand.html

Isnt this a guy who does investigations on beverage worker stuff. Id go with expensive american lawyer route. At least you wont be paying for nonsense.

Edited May 17, 2009 by grapefruit88

[thaiwanderer]

I think you should question more things about this guy,maybe get this guy to check her story out before you go down the very expensive lawyer route.

http://www.thaiprivateeye.com/about_thai_p...e_thailand.html

Isnt this a guy who does investigations on beverage worker stuff. Id go with expensive american lawyer route. At least you wont be paying for nonsense.

questionable

[sumrit]

If the husband bought the house through a company doesn't that company have to file tax returns in Thailand every year? Surely the shareholders would be contacted by the tax office if this hadn't been done.

[JetsetBkk]

I think you should question more things about this guy,maybe get this guy to check her story out before you go down the very expensive lawyer route.

http://www.thaiprivateeye.com/about_thai_p...e_thailand.html

Isnt this a guy who does investigations on beverage worker stuff. Id go with expensive american lawyer route. At least you wont be paying for nonsense.

questionable

Please stop feeding the troll. I think his forum group type will change very soon.

[loong]

If they were married in Thailand, a lawyer should have no problem with sorting the divorce after the husband has been absent for so long. Especially if your name is on the twins birth certificate.

I would make discreet enquiries about the house in case it does turn out that there are some nasty back taxes (assessed) due.

[lioness]

Quite agree, it's amazing how some peoples minds work, and quite sickening too.

To the poster, just work your way through each issue starting with the cheapest options like checking the Obit's on the net and going from there. One step at a time. Good luck.

[lioness]

Sorry, forgot to hit the quote button, I was agreeing with Boos statements.