Does Thailand Have A Four Year Itch?

[desi]

I've hit the big four.

And while I'm still happy living here, things are starting to fray at the edges.

I enjoy my Thai friends.

I equally enjoy my Western friends married to Thais.

I love walking around Thailand as a recipient of Thai smiles.

And... I have a mean mouth when it comes to fiery red chillies.

And when posters warn of the big four, I've flaffed them off.

But in the past several months I've hit a sort of a bottom.

[Scott]

It's called reality! Best of luck.

[desi]

Scott, that's a bit of a cop out.

Come on... give...

[desi]

Note: I'm not looking for Thai trashing.

I just want to hear about similar experiences.

And perhaps a bit of advice.

[Texpat]

I think I've got the four-year-itch too.

I've been here three years tomorrow.

But it started more than a year ago.

Edited May 19, 2009 by Texpat

[ukme]

Hi Desi. I don't know where your homecountry is but if it's the Uk (where I live), I wouldn't count on being on the recipnent of too many smiles here. But it does have it's good points...

Edited May 19, 2009 by ukme

[BigSnake]

Better get out quick Thailand will grow on you and you will become an old Thailand Hand like me or worse still an old Fart living in the land of smiles, stinking up the place

[Scott]

Not trying to cop out, but it's probably the reality of life most anywhere. I've lived in a lot of places. They all seemed wonderful at first, then over time, they got a whole lot different--it's the reality that people everywhere are pretty much the same. The system they live in may be different, but there is good, bad and everything in between.

It's a series of trade offs.

Again, best of luck. Make your own decisions.

[desi]

Not trying to cop out, but it's probably the reality of life most anywhere. I've lived in a lot of places. They all seemed wonderful at first, then over time, they got a whole lot different--it's the reality that people everywhere are pretty much the same. The system they live in may be different, but there is good, bad and everything in between.

It's a series of trade offs.

Again, best of luck. Make your own decisions.

I come from an expat family, so I've lived in a lot of places too. It's just that none seemed as sweet as Thailand.

I was honestly just looking for experiences, advice (not as in 'leave here asap'), or just general conversation from others who are experiencing the same.

[GuestHouse]

I'm on my fourth posting in Thailand - The first was around 3.5 years long. others have been a little less than that, but all around 3 years each.

On the basis of my own experience, I think getting away from Thailand after the first few years is a good idea - it gives one the opportunity to step back from life in Thailand and take a broader view of life in Thailand as part of the bigger life picture - It also offers the opportunity to start again when and if you come back.

[givenall]

Not trying to cop out, but it's probably the reality of life most anywhere. I've lived in a lot of places. They all seemed wonderful at first, then over time, they got a whole lot different--it's the reality that people everywhere are pretty much the same. The system they live in may be different, but there is good, bad and everything in between.

It's a series of trade offs.

Again, best of luck. Make your own decisions.

I come from an expat family, so I've lived in a lot of places too. It's just that none seemed as sweet as Thailand.

I was honestly just looking for experiences, advice (not as in 'leave here asap'), or just general conversation from others who are experiencing the same.

I have been here for 2 years, don’t have the itch yet, but I think I get frustrated sometimes. Mostly is because of the expectation of Thai people especially my wife’s families have from me because I have money.

I have to say no more often to my wife and these frustrate me sometimes she just doesn’t get it.

Any way I hope this is stage that I will be over soon. Also bad economy don’t help the situation

[desi]

Thanks GuestHouse. I was wondering about leaving for awhile. Or, just spending more time in the UK than I'm used to.

I know people here bitch about the roughs in the UK, and I agree for the most part. But the bad elements are not everywhere. The small villages have tight communities which are quite fine.

I love Thailand, but on my last trip home(?) I got all starry-eyed for the soft rolling hills of Devon. I've even picked out a wonderful village pub to gravitate towards and all (buy property in the location when it hits bottom... yadda).

And this is coming from me, who prefers SE Asia. And Thailand most of all.

[desi]

I think I've got the four-year-itch too.

I've been here three years tomorrow.

But it started more than a year ago.

So how are you dealing with it?

Are you planning to leave? Or just back off?

[desi]

Any way I hope this is stage that I will be over soon. Also bad economy don't help the situation

Economy, latest news, latest Thai politics... it's all a mix for me (and might be my reason for looking around).

[Boater]

i have only just left after 4 1/2 years here

i think it comes down to ' you can take so much ' and then you relize it is never going to change IE Coups, goverment, economy ect

just my 2 cents

[pattaya_girl]

Thanks GuestHouse. I was wondering about leaving for awhile. Or, just spending more time in the UK than I'm used to.

I know people here bitch about the roughs in the UK, and I agree for the most part. But the bad elements are not everywhere. The small villages have tight communities which are quite fine.

I love Thailand, but on my last trip home(?) I got all starry-eyed for the soft rolling hills of Devon. I've even picked out a wonderful village pub to gravitate towards and all (buy property in the location when it hits bottom... yadda).

And this is coming from me, who prefers SE Asia. And Thailand most of all.

If you decide to go to Devon, can you send me some Clotted Cream.

Fading Memories of days gone by!!!

[dbrenn]

I've hit the big four.

And while I'm still happy living here, things are starting to fray at the edges.

I enjoy my Thai friends.

I equally enjoy my Western friends married to Thais.

I love walking around Thailand as a recipient of Thai smiles.

And... I have a mean mouth when it comes to fiery red chillies.

And when posters warn of the big four, I've flaffed them off.

But in the past several months I've hit a sort of a bottom.

Happens to most people. First you are in love with the place, then you start to realise that it has flaws just like anywhere else and disillusionment sets in. Then you accept the flaws and get on with life.

You'll get over it.

[sbk]

I've always said, there are three stages to life in Thailand,

1st stage: (while the rose colored glasses are still on) Thailand is wonderful, the people are terriic, its a paradise, life is great

2nd stage: (after disappointment strikes) Thailand is awful, the people are horrible, its a hel_l and life is terrible

3rd stage: (once realization occurs, many never make it to this stage). Thailand is a place to live, like any other. There are good people and bad people, its neither paradise nor hel_l but what you make it and life is just that life. Get on with it.

So, of course, there are periods when I am sick of it, and periods when I'd never leave but all in all, I am not sorry I have lived the last 20 years there and expect I will live the next 20 there as well. Unless of course, the island sinks into the sea and then we will be moving

[Jungian]

I always heard it called the 7 year itch, maybe you have 3 more years to go.

[desi]

All, thanks for your comments.

Sbk,

I'm not sure I went through the rose coloured too much as I've lived in the region since '94, had been coming to Thailand for years before finally moving here, and knew Thais on a personal level. Also, being a girl, I've avoided a lot of the frustrations the guys go through.

After moving here, I was able to stay a distant observer during the coup, the bombs, the Reds and the Yellows. But the latest saturation of news has started worrying me on a personal level: senseless deaths, people jailed for being rude, etc.

Throughout everything, I've continually insisted to friends and relatives that Thailand is a wonderful place to visit. Safe if you have common sense, easy as long as you aren't stupid, etc. And until the past six months or so, I've managed to convince them. But the concentration of negative news coming out of Thailand has finally won. Wonderful trips have been cancelled or rerouted to avoid Thailand. They don't want to know anymore. I'm finding it frustrating to watch Thailand shoot itself in the foot over and over.

[ivowatson]

But the latest saturation of news has started worrying me on a personal level: senseless deaths, people jailed for being rude, etc.

I'm finding it frustrating to watch Thailand shoot itself in the foot over and over.

I think it's been always like that. A lot depends on moods. When you're a bit down (listenig and reading the news often doesn't help, being on the road a lot certainly doesn't), this feelings pop up quickly. But then something nice (almost unexpected) happens.

Might be indeed the 3rd stage.

But sometimes those 'sick of it- feelings' look like they never going to stop.

[villagefarang]

As GH noted it is a good idea to get away and take a break, but that applies to most things. It is part of the human condition that we are unable to maintain any emotional state. It is no more possible to stay happy all the time than it is to stay awake all the time. We can only know things through contrast, day/night, wake/sleep, happy/sad. Periodic breaks can help us to see things more clearly. No guarantee that it will make you appreciate Thailand more but it will help with your perception of things.

Some become disillusioned and move on, but who can say if they end up any happier. I have lost count of how many phases I have been through over the last 30+ years in Thailand. Each time one grows a little through the experience and gains greater understanding of what we value in life. I wouldn't worry about it too much and your answer most likely won't be exactly the same as anyone else.

[desi]

You are right, I have been following the news a lot lately. Also, Thai news (especially the bad) gets around fast on twitter. And maybe I've been reading the negative posts on Thai Visa too much too?

I have to say that 'nice' happens in Thailand often. Just this morning, while I was thinking about what we've been talking about, a person showed up with an unexpected favour (not sure what to call it). Something of mine needing doing and it got done. There was nothing asked in return, she just took it upon herself to make a small part of my life easier.

[desi]

Periodic breaks can help us to see things more clearly. No guarantee that it will make you appreciate Thailand more but it will help with your perception of things.

Taking a break is sort of what brought this on. Devon in springtime is magic (but I did take care to avoid certain areas this trip).

I have lost count of how many phases I have been through over the last 30+ years in Thailand.

The longest time I've lived in any one place was six years. During that time I also went through many changes, but Thailand (which I've loved) that location took all my energy to stay positive.

Each time one grows a little through the experience and gains greater understanding of what we value in life.

Value... yes. I might just sit down and make a list of all the reasons I came here in the first place. For starters, no TV licence, no hassles with which rubbish goes out when (or finding where to dump the extra), no wimpy rain, no scary toughs on the high street...

[mauGR1]

As GH noted it is a good idea to get away and take a break, but that applies to most things. It is part of the human condition that we are unable to maintain any emotional state. It is no more possible to stay happy all the time than it is to stay awake all the time. We can only know things through contrast, day/night, wake/sleep, happy/sad. Periodic breaks can help us to see things more clearly. No guarantee that it will make you appreciate Thailand more but it will help with your perception of things.

I agree!

Every year i go back to my homecountry for 1 or 2 months for a change.Normally after 2 or 3 weeks i miss my island,and i'm happy to be back again.

IMO, if you read too many news,which are bad news in most of the cases,you get a distorted perception of reality.

If i ask myself why i live here,the main reason is that i really dislike the long,cold winter in Europe.

[davyboy]

I've always said, there are three stages to life in Thailand,

1st stage: (while the rose colored glasses are still on) Thailand is wonderful, the people are terriic, its a paradise, life is great

2nd stage: (after disappointment strikes) Thailand is awful, the people are horrible, its a hel_l and life is terrible

3rd stage: (once realization occurs, many never make it to this stage). Thailand is a place to live, like any other. There are good people and bad people, its neither paradise nor hel_l but what you make it and life is just that life. Get on with it.

So, of course, there are periods when I am sick of it, and periods when I'd never leave but all in all, I am not sorry I have lived the last 20 years there and expect I will live the next 20 there as well. Unless of course, the island sinks into the sea and then we will be moving

Totally agree sbk, just accept the life the way it is,or as you make it!

[stiggy]

Its life.

You should always question where you are and what your doing? .The day you stop is the day you give up living.

Thailand is a place to live like anywhere else! However for me a good option out of the choices I have. Question if its you or where your living that your unsure/unhappy with ?

Reinvent yourself and what your doing ,you dont need to move on for that.

Just my opinion.